Kiss My Big Blue Butt

August 7 - Locals can hold on to their hats because another act of political incest is fixing to break at the DA's office between ADA Mike Elliott and a well-know local Republican political operative. This one makes the Holden Roofing case look like child's play.
     And it's all going to happen just in time to embarrass local Republicans in November. Sometimes justice is slow, but she always comes around.
     Mike Elliott is totally out of control and his boss, the elected DA John Healey, is way too busy with Ms. Elizabeth being a movie star to even care. Who's pocket are you in, John?

August 7 - Okay, this is war.
     Gotta be the child of my plumber. Jesus Pepper at Chili's in Rosenberg.

   Okay, y'all, Fran got in on the fight.

August 7 - In the never-ending story of Freaky Republican Men, we have this week's entry.
     (No, seriously, have you thought about it? Are they just taking turns getting caught? I mean, is this an organized effort to keep Freaky Republican Men in the news so other Freaky Republican Men can get all frisky just reading what Freaky Republican Men do? You never thought about that, did ya? Aren't you glad you know a major intellect like me to figure these things out?)

JEFFERSON CITY -- Missouri state Rep. Scott Muschany, R-Frontenac, was indicted today in connection with a reported sexual assault of a 14-year-old girl on May 17, the day after this year’s Legislative session ended.

And then ---

In 2006, Muschany was a co-sponsor of legislation that toughened sex offender laws.

     I am telling you the truth - the more they want to pass sex laws, the nastier they are.

August 6 - Okay, so first it was Lord Jesus Used Cars, and then Jesus Died for Your Sins Tires and Whatnot, and now ----

---- God Plumbing Company.
     Okay, so I know how grateful I am when the clog is unstopped and all, but I dunno if praying over them is gonna be all that much help.
     Honestly, I've been pondering since seeing all this stuff within one square mile of my home. How 'bout I open "Bob's Church and Baptistery: Where You Get Your Money's Worth."
     I think the lines are blurred enough that it'll work.

     By the way, I airbrushed out their phone number because I don't want you calling them and asking if God can come over and clean your pipes. I know you'd do something like that.

"For as the crackling of thorns under a pot, so is the laughter of the fool: this also is vanity."
Ecclesiastes (ch. VII, v. 6)
USexpat

I have an idea! Why not open a drive through Church. You could just drive up to the outdoor speaker, place your order, then proceed to the pick-up window , pay the money and receive salvation. Quick, easy and you never have to get out of your car. Or you could buy a van and make deliveries. Maybe call it salvation on Wheels.

WJH

August 6 - For those of you who love baseball, Fran sent us this amazing video. "Just when you think you've seen it all ---"

August 6 - Ho boy, they are one scared bunch of people.
     You know how a Republican has hit bottom? They start kissing Libertarian hineys.

Libertarians continue to enjoy overtures from Republicans who, at least in some circles, worry that third-party candidates could be a factor in close legislative races this fall.

Just days after former state Rep. Suzanna Hupp, R-Lampasas, urged Libertarian candidates to quit key Texas House races, three members of House Speaker Tom Craddick's staff met Monday afternoon with Libertarian leaders.

In the past, Libertarian candidates might get only 5 percent of the vote, but that's enough to determine the winner in a close legislative contest. With the House closely split between Republicans and Democrats, a handful of legislative races could affect the partisan outcome and Craddick's chances to remain the speaker.

      I dunno what chemical reaction happens when Republicans and Looneytarians meet, but there's got to be some sort of unpleasant odor surrounding it.
     The oddest part of the article was from a looneytarian who dropped out, saying that the Republican Party was the lesser of two evils. Yes, it was a deaf, dumb, and blind looneytarian who had no contact to the outside world for the past 8 years.

August 6 - Our friend Sam from Pearland got another letter to the editor published in the Houston Chronicle today (second letter).
     The fanatical ultra-right religious wackos drive Sam to charming fits of wordsmithing. It's a delight to watch.

August 5 - Okay, Kary sent me the quote of the day!

"I don't know if you know this. John McCain is looking for someone for vice president who has more economic expertise than he does. So congratulations to all of you, you’re on the short list," - John Kerry.

     If nominated I will not accept, if elected ....

August 5 - Swing State has some very interesting numbers this morning that Daryl sent us.

County	Total gain	White gain	Af.-Am. gain	Asian gain	Hisp. gain
Brazoria	46,131	10,363	10,027	7,274	17,628
Fort Bend	138,735	31,662	32,575	32,832	37,973
Galveston	33,393	15,056	1,049	2,795	12,485
Harris	485,629	-4,677	95,933	35,369	364,560

     Those of you fixated with numbers (and yes, I'm talking to you Hal and David) will really enjoy reading all the details of the demographic shift occurring right here in our county and across Texas.
     The rest of you will take comfort in knowing that the Tom DeLay inspired redistricting of Texas lasted just long enough to prove that Republican simply cannot govern. DeLay may have single-handedly given us two decades of Democrats to come.

August 5 - Ben Sargent knocks it out of the park!

August 5 - Steve sends some good rainy day Republican reading. (Momma, don't click this link. There's hanky-panky talk there.)
     Honey, I need that book. I really, really need to donate a copy to our local library.

August 5 - Well, the storm went east of here. We got a few sprinkles, which is good because we haven't had rain since 1987.
     Evelyn sent me some webcams from Galveston this morning.
     Local news has been on all morning reporting a couple of small branches down on a neighborhood street and gusts of wind blowing some leaves and paper around. One actually showed a three inch puddle this morning, seriously reporting that puddles can be hazardous. Heck, they bought new raincoats and they'll be darned if they're coming inside.
     I have a tradition that Momma started. When there's a threat of a hurricane, the first thing you do is go buy a gallon of Blue Bell ice cream. Then if the electricity goes out, you are forced - forced, I say - to eat the whole danged gallon before it melts. So, I'm a little disappointed. There's a gallon of Chocolate Almond Marshmallow in my freezer.

Susan, your logic, as usual, is flawless.

When there's a threat of a hurricane, the first thing you do is go buy a gallon of Blue Bell ice cream. Then if the electricity goes out, you are forced - forced, I say - to eat the whole danged gallon before it melts.

In late December of 1999, while everyone else was preparing for the Millennium by hoarding generators, candles and dehydrated water, Gentle Ben and I stocked up on the two things one should never be
without, especially if the world is about to end: red wine and Snickers.

BTW, the Snickers do double duty: they can be eaten at room temperature (no cooking!) or frozen.

Perhaps FEMA could improve its image by adopting some of our Emergency Measures.

Big Hug from Big D!
Granny

August 4 - So they have no idea when the storm is supposed to get here except "sometime tomorrow" and they have no idea if it's even coming here, and if it does come how bad it'll be.
     My Uncle Melvin's gouty toe was a better predictor of the weather.
     If you don't hear from me tomorrow, you can bet it's because I don't have electricity and it's hotter than a Cadillac hood ornament on a Del Rio parking lot, plus it's wet, and odds are that I'm cranky so you probably don't want to hear from me anyway.
     They've closed the courthouse and the city halls, so I suspect there won't be much foolishness to report on anyway.

August 4 - Okay, so I'm not saying that Barack Obama was at the Fort Bend Democrats Headquarters workday yesterday ---

     --- but I'm not saying he wasn't, either.

     What I am willing to say is that you just gotta love these people. Make a damn donation or buy a tee-shirt or something. They're working for you, Babe!

     Meet Don, Wanda, Bev, Geri, and Jack - the only people willing to stop working and pose for my not-a-blog.

August 4 - Okay, so I've got to find the damn umbrella.

     Ole Bubba and me and Truman are not afraid of hurricanes. We are, however, terrified that developers have been given free reign of the flooding situation in our county by pumping kickback money - er, excuse me, "campaign contributions" - to our county commissioners.
     So, I've also got to find rubber boots and some ladders.

August 3 - Phew!
     Sex toys are once again legal in the Great State of Texas.

AUSTIN — A federal appeals court turned down Attorney General Greg Abbott's attempt to reinstate a ban on the sale and marketing of sex toys Friday, upholding its previous ruling that the prohibition violated Texans' right to privacy.

The 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in February had struck down the Texas law, which made it illegal to sell or promote obscene devices.

The attorney general sought a rehearing on the matter, decided by a panel of judges. The state argued that the full court should have a chance to rule, but the court turned down the request and said any appeal would have to be decided by the U.S. Supreme Court.

     Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott says he hasn't decided if he's going to appeal again. Right.
     Oh sure, Abbott is going to give up the opportunity to talk real dirty in a legal document that he can force other lawyers to read while he watches.
     On the other hand, that's about as close as you can come to normal hoochy-koochy from Republican men these days.
     The way Abbott figures it, the only think keeping him from getting lucky is the existence of sex toys. Banning them will leave women with no choice but .... oh dear God, a Republican man.
     Me? I think it should be illegal for Republican men to pass laws dealing with what women do while they're alone. Oh hell, what am I saying?, it should be illegal for Republican men to even think about that. It's just creepy.
     You know that phrase above that says "obscene devices?" Honey, that's what Greg Abbott is.
     By the way, Bubba says he's very relieved with this ruling because according to law books, he could legally be classified as a sex toy. Oh, Bubba.
     (Momma, I didn't say that. Bubba said that. I can't help what Bubba says. You know how men are.)

August 2 - Nice weekend read for those who enjoy a good wordsmith. Steve talks about empty nests, hummingbirds fighting, life's end, and John McCain ... and it all makes sense. Drop in on White's Creek every now and then so Steve's way with words.

August 1 - Well, former Texas Senator Phil Gramm and his Nation of Whiners are back in the news.

But campaign finance records show that expanded political giving is an approach shared by UBS and other key figures in the Senate's probe of offshore tax shelters that are costing the government $100 billion a year.

Experts say that political contributions may offer an effective strategy for dealing with legal, regulatory and financial problems. Before the Senate inquiry began, UBS faced trouble with investors over financial losses that left its shares at a 10-year low.

"Corporations use PACs for different purposes at different times," said Brett G. Kappel, a campaign finance lawyer. "When they need congressional assistance, they use the PAC to build relationships to work towards achieving a legislative goal. Other times, when they have involuntarily become the object of congressional interest, they use the PAC to build relationships in an effort to avoid negative legislation."

     Good Lord, they're Leona Hemsley in Ferragamo loafers.
     We have the best democracy that money can buy.

August 1 - Thank you, Tom Toles ---

August 1 - So maybe now we have a pretty decent explanation of why District Attorney John Healey will not prosecute violations of election law.

The Texas Ethics Commission has fined Fort Bend County District Attorney John Healey $1,500 for violating campaign finance laws.

The fine and an accompanying order were issued July 15 in response to a lengthy sworn complaint that mostly covers the election cycle in 2006, in which Healey beat attorney Larry McDougal in the March Republican Party primary.

The order doesn't disclose who filed the complaint.

Healey said Thursday afternoon the ethics violations were mostly the result of math errors and characterizing certain purchases as being for "auction items" when the commission sought a more detailed description.

He said the math errors were "easily identifiable" because he included all the data needed to check the math, "so it's not like I was trying to hide anything."

     Uh, I dunno if John is reading the same legal document that I am, but it appears that one of us needs our eyes checked, and it ain't me.

This order and agreed resolution describes violations that the commission has determined are neither technical nor de minimis.

AND ----

After considering the seriousness of the violations described under Sections III and IV, including the nature, circumstances, and consequences of the violations, and after considering the sanction necessary to deter future violations, the commission imposes a $1,500 civil penalty.

     Simply math errors? I kinda surprised that he didn't use the "my cousin did it" defense.
     I didn't file this complaint, but thanks to whoever did. It explains why politicians in this county do not fear running afoul of the election law. The District Attorney is the Fouler-In-Chief.
     How embarrassing to have a county commissioner, the county judge and the district attorney all run willy-nilly over the Texas Election Code. I mean, even more embarrassing than this. Okay, maybe not.

Susan - so the Texas Ethics Commission told John Healey to keep his change in his pocket, too!!

By the way, John Healey is in so many pockets that they're going to start using his picture as the example photo in wallets.

He's such a goofus.

Danny Boy

August 1 - It's the Wall Street Journal, y'all.

Is John McCain Stupid?

Is John McCain losing it?

On Sunday, he said on national television that to solve Social Security "everything's on the table," which of course means raising payroll taxes. On July 7 in Denver he said: "Senator Obama will raise your taxes. I won't."

This isn't a flip-flop. It's a sex-change operation.

It's the damn Wall Street Journal. Next thing we know, Fox News will start calling him "goofy."

Today's question:

"Simply", yes! But, what the hell is really going on?

Jim Arthur

Dear Susan,

Doug Thompson of Capital Hill Blue has some pretty inflammatory things to say about Senator McCain. Capital Hill Blue has been around for a long time. It's always a bit inflammatory and often includes things that can't be verified because it's just the things remembered by someone who has been around the Hill for 25 years or so.

Don A.

Welcome to the website formerly known as The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.

My name is Susan DuQuesnay Bankston.
I live in Richmond, Texas, in heart of Tom DeLay's old district. It's crazy here. No, seriously, it's triple z crazzzy.

I used to be an independent voter, but that all changed when I got to know a few local Republicans. They are meaner than 10 acres of snakes and have the ethical compass of a bank robber.

So, I decided that they could just Kiss My Big Blue Butt.

A lot of what I post here has to do with local politics, but you probably have the same folks in your local government.

This ain't a blog. Blogs are way too trendy for me. I've been doing this since 1992, so I'm used to it even if you ain't.

Email me and I'll find a place to put it if I like it.