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March 30 - Okay, so how many Texas unbloggers do you know who have their own foreign correspondent in Pennsylvania?  That's what I thought - not many.
     I, of course, do.
     Our friend Don A, from Pennsyltucky, sent me an email this morning about the goings-on in his area.  Since Bubba has me doing the paperwork from Saturday's convention (Women work with paper; men work with wood.  Women are braver because everyone knows paper cuts are far more painful than splinters.) so I'm kinda busy to be posting stuff. 
     Plus, Don A. tells a great story and has some fun links included.
     Take it away Don A. ---

It has been an eventful week here at the Pennsyltucky Snake University.  Wednesday night Slick Willie His Own Self stopped by and rented the Wreck Hall and filled it pretty much to the rafters which hasn't happened very often since they built the Bryce Jordan Center[1] and moved all the Bassetball[2] games there.  According to people who went there, he did a pretty good job of 'splainin' how Ms Hilary would make as good a President as he did only she wouldn't ... well you know.

Ron Paul is coming to town in a few weeks -- the local Libertarian crowd are trying to decide whether to come up with the $30,000 that would be needed to rent the same hall that Willie used or to go with something a little smaller and less expensive.  Many of these people have become official Repugnicants in order to be able to vote for Ron in the primary.  One of them is likely to be an official Repugnicant candidate for the State House (which is not to be confused with the Big House even though they are both pretty much filled with crooks).

Yesterday, Senator Obama came to town and there were about 22,000 people who braved the lack of parking, the snakey line along Collich Avenue, the security detectors, and all that stuff so that they could stand around in front of Old Main for about 2 hours.  They were lucky to have a nice day.  Temperature got close to 50 F and the sun was shiny.  He brought Senator Casey with him which is significant because Bob Casey is the oddest duck in the Senate being a pro-life Democrat and Bob had previously said he was going to support the party's candidate but here he was introducing and endorsing Senator O.  Here are pictures:

There have been more than 4000 new voters registered in the County and there are also a slew of the 15% non-aligned voters who have affiliated with a party in order to participate in the primary election next month.  That includes me and my 2 children (my wife has always been a Democrat).  As far as we can tell -- the election office hasn't updated the public numbers yet -- very few of the new registrations are going to the Repugnicant side except for the Libertarians the want to vote for Ron Paul.

Saturday April 12 is the opening day of Trout Season and also the kick off event for the Lower Penns Valley Bonfire Society


This is an election year.  By common law,
the truth is legally suspended.

March 29 - Okay, we did it.  We held the SD18 Fort Bend Senatorial Convention yesterday, and 750 folks showed up rarin' to go.  By contrast, 4 years ago we had 40 people at the SD18 Fort Bend Democratic convention and most of them wanted to hold it after dark in a rural barn so their neighbors wouldn't see them.  The Republicans in Fort Bend are one Tom DeLay-lovin', vicious, and spiteful bunch of folks.  They are quite capable of aggravated disdain.
     Anyway, back to the convention.  We went 66% for Obama.  I don't have the exact numbers yet because 4 of our state delegates got so excited about going to Austin that they ran to tell their Mommas before telling us which candidate they support.
     I gotta start by saying one thing: We had the best volunteers in the State of Texas.  No, really.  I voted and they won. They were a finely oiled organizing machine.  They also did an amazing job of checkin'-in delegates, keeping a smile on their faces all day long.  Hal and his commenters give them a tip o' the hat, too.
     The only trouble we had all day was from one 'specially odd woman who wasn't a delegate but bullied her way into the room.  We think she ate bullets for breakfast and needed to shoot off her mouth.  She got booed out of the room, and she earned it, bygawd.
     After that everything went smoothly.  We didn't have the rancor that some other Texas conventions seemed to have.  My Bubba knows how to run a convention, Honey.  He got elected permanent chair by acclamation against 5 other candidates. That ain't easy to do. 
     Bubba even got newspaper attention:

Don Bankston, a stalwart Fort Bend County Democrat, said Saturday's Senate District 18 convention in Rosenberg was the largest collection of Democrats he has ever seen in the county during his 40-plus years of political activity. The county has been dominated by Republicans for 20 years, but the last primary saw Democrats come out in unprecedented numbers.

"It is one of the biggest and most diverse crowds ever," Bankston said. "This is what this county looks like, and this is why Republicans are scared out of their wits."

     Republican ever had wits?  Awww, ain't that sweet?  Bubba is being generous. 
     We had a lovefest.  No, really.  People were huggin' on each and treating each other with dignity and respect.  Bubba has a way of bringing that out in people.  Everybody left knowing they got a fair shake.  He was given incredible help from Parliamentarian Kyle Longhofer and the permanent secretary, Dr. Ann Whitehead.  Dr. Whitehead, by the way, is one fine-looking proud Democratic woman who has put up with all the Republican she can stand.  Do I hear an Amen?
     I love the caucus system.  It is a chance for regular grassroots Democrats to get to know each other and  have a real voice in what happens in their Party.  I glanced at our delegate list and saw that about 90% of our delegates will be attending their first State convention.  You gotta be proud of that.  I know I am.     
     One of our at-large delegates was elected because of all her work with the local Democratic club.  She literally scrubbed floors to make our headquarters clean before we moved in.  She made coffee and phone calls.  Served both barbeque and on the finance committee.  She did the unglamorous grassroots work and she was rewarded for it.  She will have a voice in who represents her at the national convention. 
     Our delegates are young and old.  They are white, brown, black, and Asian.  Some are gay and some are have disabilities.  Women stand equally with men in numbers.  We look like Fort Bend County.
     And, Darlin', it's a pure-dee old fluffy white boys alert.  We're boarding this ship, Bud, and you're going overboard. 


Your 'specially odd lady even made the Burnt Orange Report.  A man even called his wife from the convention to tell her about it.  Check "by: Sat Mar 29, 2008 at 02:20 PM CDT"

Interesting to note:  A Clinton supporter and head of the Clinton campaign in Fort Bend showed up to a convention that was NOT EVEN HER OWN to speak on behalf of Clinton.  The chairperson called her behavior inappropriate and had security escort her out.  

Was there gunplay involved?


Dear Misty - well, that's not entirely accurate.  But, it's close enough to true to make a great story! She claimed to be "an official representative of the County Chair."  That has as much authority as being the Associate Assistant Secretary to the Vice Chairman of the Republic of Anchorage's  Subcommittee on the Non-fiction section of Our Lady of Perpetual Virginity's Junior High School's Bookmobile.  No, I'm serious.  Both titles are as impressive.
    And, she left before the deputy was able to get to her.  The Chairman got a standing ovation for tossing her rump. 
    And, this was her district but she didn't get elected from her precinct convention.  So, of course, that's even more impressive. 


Susan - check this out.  It's an independent's report of SD17 in Fort Bend.  Isn't that one close to you?


Dear CM - yes, in fact, it is my neighboring Senate District.  And, no, we won't let the whiners and naysayers "screw it up."



March 28 - And they say that nobody ever has any fun in stuffy ole Pecan Grove.....

Pecan Grove Fire Chief Paul LeDoux questioned the authenticity of photos shown in a Thursday night report by KPRC-TV, which show a woman baring her breasts next to what appears to be the department’s fire truck.

The TV station reported that the interior of the Pecan Grove Volunteer Fire Station “is featured in some steamy pictures circulating on the Internet.”

     Heck, I didn't even know they allowed breasts in Pecan Grove.  Could've fooled me!

March 28 - I'm not saying that GOP CD22 candidate and six-week Congressvarmint Shelley Sekula Gibbs is a viciously difficult person to get along with ..... no, wait, that's exactly what I'm saying -----

Individuals can contribute up to $2,300 per election to congressional campaigns, so Connecticut-based pollster Matt Dabrowski's recent $250 contribution to Pete Olson's campaign doesn't make him a financial gorilla.

But $250 bought a defiant, unusual message. Until three weeks ago, Dabrowski was deputy campaign manager in Houston for Olson's Republican runoff opponent, Shelley Sekula Gibbs.

The March 10 contribution was listed on campaign records Olson filed late tonight with the Federal Election Commission. So was a $3,646 "separation" payment made to Dabrowski by Sekula Gibbs' campaign. With that much money from Sekula Gibbs, Dabrowski can make many more flinty gestures at her or any other candidate missing from his Christmas card list.

     Y'all all recall how her entire staff walked out on her while she was in Congress. 
     It's said that when she was baptized, all the fish in the creek died.  I don't know that to be true, but I do know she's meaner than a hurricane with two eyes. 
     You know that mega-church minister who keep endorsing her?  Well, Darlin', his time would be better spent praying that she quits whipping her husband while he's washing the dishes.  She's that mean. 

March 27 - Our friend Kary sent us this little guide for public shame, just in case you ever need it.

March 27 - We Texans know and love him.  Now it's time for you people from foreign states to  get to know Rick Noriega, our candidate for United States Senate.
     This is one of those internet series of Tubes that Ted Stevens was talking about.  The DSCC made it. 


     Send him a couple of dollars to whip-up on John Cornyn.  You'll thank yourself this November.

March 26 - Our friend Sam from Pearland got his letter about John Cornyn printed in the Chronicle today

Sen. John Cornyn's highly publicized open records bill is little more than an election-year grab for publicity.

When Congress tried to investigate the firing of U.S. attorneys, as well as malfeasance by Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez, Cornyn vociferously opposed the investigation. When Congress tried to subpoena White House aides, Cornyn opposed it.

He has fought for immunity for communications companies that enabled illegal wiretap-ping by the Bush administration, and time and time again voted for secretive no-bid contracts to Iraq contractors.

Cornyn is for open government as long as it doesn't get in the way of his party's agenda.


     Sam is right.  Cornyn is as worthless as a four card flush.

March 25 - The lawyers are coming!  The lawyers are coming!

The Clinton campaign just sent out an e-mail to volunteer attorneys requesting that they come down to Texas this weekend to observe the county and state conventions, which allocates caucus delegates for the State Convention in June.

     Oh yeah, like some durn writ twit from Ohio is going to understand Texas election law.  I guess Hillary is dead set on hacking-off Texans by sending lawyers from foreign states to pester us.  Get a big ole picture of me standing there saying, "Oh tell me, Counselor, how do they do it in Michigan?  We'd be right proud to know." 
     If I don't sound too worried, it's because I know our lawyers can beat up her lawyers. 

March 25 - While the fluffy white boys controversy rages below, I thought I'd bring you some important news ...
     Oh Sweet Sister of Shame, the Eliot Spitzer story is not over. 
It's hot, it's accurate, it's Eliot Spitzer erotic fiction.
     Politics haven't been this much fun since Bill Clinton pulled his pants up.
     (Momma, don't follow the link.  I'm telling you not to do it.  Don't click it.  Momma, seriously.  Don't click it and then call me telling me I wasn't raised that way.  I'm telling you now not to click it.  Ya hear?  You ain't gonna like it.  Momma, stop.  Now.)

March 24 - We get email from Kellybee


Frankly, I find your disdain for fluffy white boys in politics troubling...hi-larious, yes, but troubling. Here's three FWBs that I'd gladly  vote for:


 (I believe the guy in the middle would make a great Commish...he's tough, loves to travel and speaks several languages. The other two probably couldn't take the "heat" of politics).


Dear Kellybee -

At first glance, I thought these were nakkid pictures of the three Republicans on our Commissioner's Court.  However, on closer inspection I realized they are the three guys running for re-election as district court judges.  Nakkid.   


Susan,  Not to put too fine a point on it, I'd like to point out that there are  only two FWB's there.  The one on the left wearing his sailor suit and the guy in the middle rolling a tire are actually one in the same, namely Bip.  He's French and works for a large French tire company.  Being foriegn born he cannot serve as President of the US, until Congress passes and the states ratify change the Constitution.  Since that is the ultimate goal every FWB who runs for any elective office, it's best to know these things.   Arnold S has topped out at Gov of CA and unlike GWB cant go on to screw up the country.  

More on the FQB'a  the kid on the right, with the chef's hat on goes by the name of Ted and is a distant relative of the founder of the Pillsbury Co of MN.  Nice guy and is really rolling in it.....not sure what "it" is, but whatever it is, he rolls in it.    Just thought you'd find that of interest.

Al  (Monday, my day to play polysomething or other)


  Now, I don't wanna snow on Al's French toast, but the guy in the middle is named "Bibendum" ("Bib" for short)  and while it's true that the U.S. Constitution prohibits him from serving as President, I don't think Fort Bend County has any laws that prevent French animated characters from being elected as County Commissioner (not being a resident of FBC, I could be wrong about this...your readers are free to correct me).

 The reason I don't think the other two are cut out for the rough-and-tumble of politics...the guy on the left is a former Navy man who starts out all friendly, but tends to get angry when being confronted (remind you of a certain U.S. Senator from a western state?). The guy on the right is sort of like Dennis Kucinich...too goofy to be taken seriously, but likeable enough, and he does have a "trophy wife":

Kellybee (A Man With Clearly Too Much Free Time)

PS - Susan, if you got nekkid district court judge pitchers, you have an obligation to your readers to share them...oops, on second thought, never mind...keep 'em.     -KB


You know I thought your readers would have been above such a campaign smear,

"The one on the left wearing his sailor suit and the guy in the middle rolling a tire are actually one in the same, namely Bip.  He's French and works for a large French tire company. "
Al's right about the Frenchman in the middle.  But our boy on the left is home grown might knock sense into the heads of dull-witted county commissioners.
Click here and here.

March 24 - Our friend Sybil knows how to start Monday morning off right.
     The Washington Post announced the winners of the Peeps Diorama contest.  It's called The Peeps Show and it's one of my favorite things outside of the Art Car contest.  Y'all remind me to enter next year.

March 23 - Okay, so last week I told you about how GOP County Commissioner Tom Stavinoha is using his grandkids to get elected.
     Well, his opponent ain't no slouch in the using department either.  Check this out.  (Click the little one to get the big one.)  He responds with a half-page ad of his own.

    Yes, Greg Ordeneaux's  parents, Elmo and Winkie, were forced to take off their Vegas Hawaiian shirts, get off their go-carts, and put on old people's clothes to get their son elected to Commissioner's Court.  I don't know about you, but I don't like any of my kids that much. 
     I'll vote for the first candidate who says, "This is about me and my competence.  I ain't dragging my family through this."
     Plus, what is it about grammar that these guys hate so much?  What did grammar ever do to them to deserve this kind of treatment?  I want to know.  It's bothering the squat outta me.  Is Precinct 1 required to elect the dumbest guy on the block?  Is that law or something?

I am not sure if you will be brave enough to print this but here goes- 

I am the daughter of Elmo and Winkie Ordeneaux and I resent you referring to their go carts and Vegas shirts. They have been retired and work hard to make ends meet and do not travel much anymore.  They take time to enjoy the simple life here in Fort Bend County. One reason Fort Bend County has grown is because of successful schools, example Fort Bend ISD, and family and community minded people.  My parents were some of those fortunate people to see this county grow to be such a wonderful place to live. They worked very hard to get the consolidation of schools to form Ft. Bend ISD and served as leaders in community organizations like FFA, PTA, Scouting, and church.  Unlike many people today- loyalty to their community and school is still at the top of their priority list. The thing I resent the most about your comment about them is implying they were “forced” to have pictures taken with their son. People that know the Ordeneauxs will laugh in your face about that one. There is absolutely nothing more important to Elmo and Winkle than their family. My parents feel honored and privileged to be photographed with their son. I must admit I feel sorry for you if you do not love your children that much—maybe that is what is wrong with America today—there are not enough parents that feel about their children like my parents feel toward us. I suggest before you print things about someone you check out your facts--- this is one time you are totally off track---Let’s keep on the subject of the election and the candidates. Remember it is Stavinoha that started the “mud’ slinging” and you democrats have continued it. My thoughts are people you have nothing good to say about them, generally resort to finding fault in others. Think about it--   


Dear Paula -

Honey, why don't you hunt up something you could use for a sense of humor?


March 23 - Thank you, Tom Toles. 

     I can't get rid of these guys fast enough. 

March 21 - How's this privatizing thing working out for y'all?  Ya like that?  Odds are, they looked at your passport, too.

The State Department's inspector general is investigating Obama's passport breach, which occurred on three separate occasions — Jan. 9, Feb. 21 and as recently as last week, on March 14. On Friday, the department announced that the Justice Department would be monitoring the probe in case it needs to get involved.

     Okay, so if Condi Rice really cared about such things, why did she it continue to happen after the first incident? Is there a three-strike rule here?   

March 21 - We get email from our friend Evelyn ---

Ironic.  I was just reading speculation on Daily Kos -- about who would be the one to tell Hillary IT IS OVER?  Looks like Bill Richardson just did.


Gotta love Bill Richardson's endorsement of Obama.  James Carville, a man I used to respect, likened it to Judas and the thirty pieces of silver.  Looks to me like the Clinton campaign hit a major pothole' I guess it will get really brutal now.  I used to be there in the front cheering "Go Bill, Go Hillary."  Now it's changing to "Just go away".

Sorry, Evelyn. Mark Penn says that Bill Richardson's moment when he could have been effective has passed. Meaning that had he supported Hillary, or had she won those little states that don't matter, they all wouldn't have to suffer such demeaning status. You see, it's really their own fault. 

March 21 - Rats, meet lifeboats.

With Rep. Thomas M. Reynolds (N.Y.),  announcing his retirement yesterday, all but two of the Republican leaders who controlled the House before Democrats seized power in the 2006 elections are gone or on their way out. A look at the team, now mostly on the sidelines.

     Well, I guess this means that the Contract With America has been stamped null and void.  'Bout time!

March 21 - Okay, okay, Don Wright hit a little tooooo close to home on this Friday toon.

March 20 - Oh please, sweet Democratic karma, let Shelley Sekula Gibbs be the Republican nominee for CD22.
     Thanks to Sam in Pearland who keeps me informed of all things Nutty-Shelley.
     "It just doesn't," - love that educated legal talk, huh?

Looks like the Party has no shortage of stoopid Republicans. And to think that Mr. Delay and friends went through all that trouble to create the paint-by-numbers districts, endure national ridicule by using state troopers to track down the Democratic representatives during the redistricting fight, and this is the result. 
It seems heir nominee has failed Republican primary school twice already and they're trying to kick him upstairs.


Well now, GOP (God's Own Party)  Shelley would just spoil you if she drew the long straw to go up against Lampson.  It's like if you got Fruit Loops cereal for breakfast one morning you'd want Fruit Loops every morning.  She's like the tone deaf girl who tries to make a career out of playing the violin because she thinks that playing LOUD is the same as playing good.  In the beginning a lot of people think the little girl is cute, but when she wants to charge you good money for an excruciatingly bad job--they don't think she's cute any more.

I really liked that photo of Tom DeLay, Sugarland's own low-rent version of O.J. Simpson.  Seeing ole Tom in his golf shorts reminded me of that Bugs Bunny cartoon character, the arrogant, loud mouthed rooster, "Foghorn Leghorn."  I dast you to take another look at those chicken legs and NOT see a resemblance.  If Tom DeLay went to eat at KFC he'd come out in a bucket--with biscuits & gravy.


March 20 - Every now and then a Republican comes along and does something so stoopid that you want to jump up and kiss them flat on the mouth to thank them for making it so easy to whip all their butts come this November.
     County Commissioner Tom Stavinoha is such a man.

     Stavinoha (pronounced: "goofy".  No, seriously, I mean that.) ran an ad in the local newspaper yesterday.  A big ole humongous half page ad, at that.  Which he paid for, of course, with contributions from developers and county vendors. 
     He's in a Republican primary run-off with Greg Ordeneaux, a fellow old fluffy white boy with deep and abiding connections to developers and toll road lovers.
     These two guys are not different like heads and tails of a coin - they're more like fluffy and fluffier, taking turns on alternate days being the fluffier.  That determination is done by a complicated formula known only to Republican insiders and dues-paying members of the Flat Earth Society and Fishing Club.  You really don't want to know more than that. 
     Anyway, back to the ad. 
     That sucker is so big that it won't fit on my scanner bed.  So, I scanned the good part and then took a camera picture of the rest.  There's just no getting past my highly developed technical skills, ya know.
     So, here it is.  You might want to prepare yourself by removing sharp objects and reasoning skills from your immediate vicinity.  (Click the little one to get the big one.)

     Okay, I know you don't understand all the ninny, ninny whining under the big headline.  I don't either.  For years now, Stavinoha has blazed a clear path as the anti-grammar candidate.  He writes in some foreign language and, of course, his math skills are still at the counting M&M's level.  Bless his heart.
     But, it's the headline I want you to see. 
     "Talks Like Obama."  What does that mean?  He knows some three syllable words?
     Why pick Obama instead of Hillary? Has Stavinoha used his unflinching reasoning skills to finally figure out that there aren't gonna be many black folks voting in the Republican primary, but there's liable to be a woman or two and you can't hack them off?
     Yet he forgets that in the primary, Democrats heavily outvoted Republicans in Precinct 1.  I guess Tom is counting on everyone forgetting about this.  Let me promise him that's not gonna happen.

     "Talks Like Obama"?  Is this the Republican strategy?  Two white good-ole-boys calling each other a black man? 

    And then, just to make you feel really sorry for poor little white kids, he puts pictures of his innocent little grandchildren under this ad.

     There ought to be child abuse laws against stuff like that.  Those pretty little children didn't ask to look stoopid in public.  They all ought to be wearing tee-shirts that say, "My Paw-Paw Wasted Six Million Dollars Of Your Money On Crappy Voting Machines and All I Got Was This Lousy Picture in the Newspaper.  Oh Yeah, And Embarrassed.  I Got Embarrassed." 
     Guess it wouldn't fit on the tee-shirts, huh?

     If you don't think that this ad will get replayed for months this Fall against every local Republican, then you ain't got the good sense God gave a termite. 

     And, Tom, I doubt Ordeneaux wants to change diddle squat except whose back pocket the kickbacks go to, but if you're wondering what Obama wants to change --- here's a starter, Sweetie: no more government run by good-ole-boys with their back pocket open for kickbacks. In my book, that's a damn good start.

     You know, there's something you can do to help.  This Fall give Tom Stavinoha the ultimate good-ole-boy indignity.  Let him get beat by a girl.

March 19 - There will be a candlelight vigil tonight at 7:00 p.m. at the Sugar Land City Hall, marking the fifth anniversary of the tragic invasion of Iraq.  A few friends will gather together to honor the fallen and call on our leaders to end the war.
     And if Republican County Chair Rick Miller and his unholy band of thugs want to come and beat up old ladies again, I'll bring the camera. 

March 19 - All I could think when I read this was, "Oh Lord help us when County Commissioner Andy Meyers finds out about this ---"

AUSTIN -- House Speaker Tom Craddick used about $15,000 in campaign funds to charter a private plane from Aspen, Colo., to Houston and to bring his wife along to a conference in Lithuania.

The travel is the subject of an ethics complaint against the Republican speaker. Although the expenditures are probably legal, government watchdogs say they appear excessive, The Dallas Morning News reported Tuesday.

     You know it - Andy's gonna make his wife go to Lithuania.  Just because he can.
     Our Republican Texas House Speaker, who took the "Crad" out of Craddick, is known for playing cutesy with campaign money.  Local lore has it that Meyers and Craddick have divided up all the unethical ways to spend money that ain't yours and are each in charge of beta testing about a dozen or so of them a month.

March 19 - I think the Super DeLux Brand Christians are setting up shop in my hometown. No, I'm serious.  I think they are.  I'm scared.
     Cynthia Dunbar is a member of the State Board of Education and frequent candidate for anything else that comes up where she can raise and spend money.  She recently finished in the bottom quadrant of the 10 GOP CD22 candidates, which is hard to do considering how tragically most of them ended their campaigns.  Face it, for most of them that race was the biggest waste of money since Godfather III went into production.
     Anyway, Cynthia lives dangerously close to me.  So close that on days there's a brisk wind, I don't go outside for fear of catching whatever it is that's eating her brain.
     Take, for example, her most recent campaign for truth, justice, and crazzzzy thinking.  Her take on evolution ---

"What you have is a belief system that's based upon faith that's being taught and mandated to be taught without exception. And students are not allowed to even be able to think about these issues."

     It is amazing what some women will say to get on teevee, ain't it? 
     Oh no, instead of going on Maury's show to talk about her recent wildly embarrassing divorce, she has to pick on science.  You gotta ask: Babe, what has science ever done to you to get you so upset?  Okay, other than that gravity and your butt thing.    
     Y'all send any of your extra science books down here, ya hear?  We're gonna be needing them.
     (Oh yeah, that's a picture of her with John Ashcroft.  It's probably the only existing picture of Ashcroft with another person, because the other persons have all burned their's.)

Miss Susan,
Your report about the antics of our local flat earther* made me recall a NY Times editorial I read earlier this month.  I'm pasting the entire ed. for you, and have hi-lighted my favorite part.  Maybe you can share an abbreviated version with our friends.
P.S. What is it that *these people do not understand about the definition of theory?!

Florida’s ‘Theory of ...’

Has Florida come to its senses over the teaching of evolution? Sound science appears to be winning the latest round, but the struggle isn’t over.

We were cheered last year when a committee appointed by the State Department of Education drafted a new set of science standards that, for the first time, actually used the word evolution and called it a fundamental concept underlying all of biology. This was a huge advance over the previous standards, which gingerly referred only to “change over time,” leaving it up to teachers to decide whether they dared to mention the e-word in class.

The new standards were drawn up in a careful process over several months by a committee of scientists, educators, business leaders and others, with advice from scientific organizations and outside experts to ensure that they were as scientifically accurate as possible. But then the anti-evolution crowd — the advocates of creationism and intelligent design — raised a ruckus. With the help of sympathetic board of education members, they forced some last-minute revisions that squeaked through the board by a 4-to-3 vote.

The compromise was to insert the phrase “scientific theory of” before the word evolution as a sop to opponents who contend that evolution is just a theory, not a fact. But it looks to us like the scientists got the better of the argument. School officials inserted the same “scientific theory of” before every other major scientific consensus. The document now refers, for example, to “the scientific theory of cells,” the “scientific theory of atoms,” and the “scientific theory of electromagnetism.”

Although some supporters of teaching evolution grouse that the standards were watered down, they actually look more airtight with the revisions. The standards make it clear that a “scientific theory” is well supported by evidence, not a mere claim, and that evolution is no different in this respect than many other widely accepted “theories.”

Some anti-evolutionists are now pushing Florida’s Legislature to step in and allow the teaching of alternative explanations of biological origins. The alternatives that they have in mind would almost certainly not be deemed “scientific” and would have no legitimate place in science classes.

If the standards are strictly followed, Florida may finally be on the way toward improving the quality of its science curriculum and the subpar performance of its students in national assessment. 


March 19 - First Virginia, now Colorado - Tom DeLay is spreading like a virus

DeLay, a former Texas Congressman, formed the Coalition for a Conservative Majority, a 501(c)(4) entity that bills itself as a grassroots action and advocacy organization and has field offices in Denver and Colorado Springs. 501(c)(4) groups are similar to the more well-known 527 groups ....

     This is kinda upsetting to me.  I like Virginia a lot because it's a great place to vacation.  And I hold no grudges against Colorado either. 
     I'm thinking we should find a state we all don't like and send Tom there.  Like Florida, maybe.
     Semi-sadly, Tom still doesn't appear to be gainfully employed.  Bless his heart, he's been running scams every day of his life so far.  Ya think the Dairy Queen would hire him?

March 18 - Granny Geek has a dandy idea.  Has anybody seen my stapler?


March 18 - Reason #1,532 why I'm voting for Barack Obama.
Barack Obama's speech today in PDF format.

They are anxious about their futures, and feel their dreams slipping away; in an era of stagnant wages and global competition, opportunity comes to be seen as a zero sum game, in which your dreams come at my expense.

     The notion that your dreams do not have to come at the expense of my dreams is totally alien to the GOP.  It is a purely Democratic concept.  And it is why Democrats are far superior at handling the economy.

Hi Susan,
I have been on the fence about Obama and worried as well.  In his 'talk' this morning, i saw the presidency differently.  I believe this is the first time i have heard these ideas stated in public and he has been elevated in my mind as a leader of this country.  It will be a while for every one in America to weigh in (oh god) but either people will get it or melt down.  Now is a person and not just an orator. 
I am now a supporter and i will put him on my car, next to my impeach sticker!


March 18 - My displaced Texan friend, Carol in Vermont, naturally thought of me this morning ---

Bear Stearns is worth less than your sister's white-trash husband

     They have an excellent chart explaining the trash in understandable terms.  Check it out and thanks to Carol!

March 18 - Amen to Chairman Boyd Richie of the Texas Democratic Party --

AUSTIN – The Texas Democratic Party said Monday it won't grant a request from Hillary Rodham Clinton's campaign that it take extra steps to verify the signatures of election night caucus-goers before party conventions are held March 29.

State chairman Boyd Richie said Texas Democrats will not "set up an unnecessary, ad hoc 'verification' process that could effectively disqualify delegates selected at their precinct conventions after the fact."

     There is already a process set in place to verify delegates. 
     Trying to make the process resemble a bushel basket of wire coat hangers ain't gonna help anything, Folks.
     It seems to me that adding confusion to the process just to make people distrust the system is not the best idea I've heard lately.   
     If the Clinton campaign doesn't trust Texas Democrats, then they're in a heap of trouble come November.   

March 17 - You gotta love Mo Dowd. Even when you disagree with her, you gotta admit that she has fun with words.
     Today, she talks to George W. Bush ---

Dude, you’re already in the ditch.

     Problem is, the dude is either stoned, drunk, or so incredibly stoopid that he thinks he's smooth gliding on west Texas prairie land. 
     You know that time you voted for a Republican? Well, don't ever do it again.  They believe an unwinnable war, a scary-bad economy, a failing infrastructure, and a YeeHaw! foreign policy are good times. 
     Republicans: they stand for more than just recessions. 

They’ve changed his meds. He must be up to his eyebrows with happy juice. I was just like that when I was on a pethidine drip after surgery. 


Disagree?  How can anyone disagree with Mo?  God I love her!  No one is as snarky as she is.  I love the b***h, speaking as one myself.

Would you not love to be a fly on the wall when she got old Georgie cornered somewhere alone?

I would pay good money to see that.


I vote for stoned.

Hey Zeus

Susan,  I read the Dowd column this morning and thought that her use of the word "...loco."  was a bit outr'e.  Don't you?   


Al, not in conjunction with the qualifying "plumb."  She's speaking Texan, that one.


     a day later ----

Susan, Oh Mo used a qualifier, "plumb".  I thought the Texican qualifier for Loco, was Muy.  Oh Mo, whither forest go thouest.  

Al Squire (It's Tuesday and my day for squiring).

March 17 - We get email about guys who think they're getting a library built in their honor.

Dear Susan,

  I don't know if you read Joe Galloway's columns regularly.  I check the McClatchy Washington Bureau site every day so I won't miss one because our local snoozepaper doesn't always print them.  Today's is a pip.  There is on paragraph that should be burned onto W's forehead because it constitutes his legacy:

"When the price of a gallon of gasoline and a loaf of bread both hit $5, and a full-blown recession has a chokehold on the country, how many Americans will be willing to keep pouring billions and trillions down the rat-hole of a pre-emptive war of choice in the wrong place, for the wrong reasons?"


March 16 - Oh, cripes

DALLAS — As final results of the Texas Democratic caucus remain unknown, Sen. Hillary Clinton's campaign has asked the state Democratic Party to put the brakes on the next round of political meetings that will help determine how many delegates each candidate will get from Texas.

In a letter sent to the party late Friday, Clinton asked that the March 29 count and state Senate district conventions be delayed until the eligibility of an estimated 1 million caucus-goers is double-checked. Her campaign wants the signatures from the March 4 caucus to be verified first.


Texas Democratic Party spokesman Hector Nieto said Saturday that the party has not decided about the Clinton campaign's request.

"We're not surprised Sen. Clinton's campaign has engaged with their attorney, but right now the TDP remains extremely pleased by the record-breaking turnout," Nieto said.

     Hillary, we've already reserved the auditorium, sent out the notices, bought hundreds of paperclips, and ordered the donuts.  Play by the rules and everything will be fine.  If you want to challenge credentials, that's fine; but don't attempt to stop the process just because you lost. 
     The Texas Democratic Party has bent over backwards to be fair, especially with credential challenges.  (I'll have more to say about this after the advisory is published on the Party site.)

March 16 - Well, I'm home safe from the State Democratic Executive Committee meeting.  (Stopped at Meyers Barbeque in Elgin on the way home -- still the best!) 
     They canvassed the votes in accordance with the statutes and put a big blue bow on the Democratic package to the State of Texas.
     The Rules Committee for the State Party did a cool thing - they issued an advisory for any credential challenges.  It's about 8 pages long and gives answers to almost any danged thing you can think of when it comes to credentials for the district / senatorial conventions on March 31st.
     The State Party will post it on their website ASAP.
     Since we will be totally overwhelmed with all the good folks coming to the senatorial / district convention, you have to plan for the 100 things you can think of that might go wrong, and then hunker down for the 100 things you didn't even dream could happen.
     It's an exciting time to be a Democrat.
     A special thanks to Capt. Boyd Richie, State Party Chairman, and the folks serving on the Rules Committee who are trying to keep it simple, clear, concise, and fair. 

March 15 - I'm up at the State Democratic Executive Committee meeting in Round Rock.  I'll let you know what goes on later on, but here's something that can't wait.
     As most of you know, I am a Texas barbeque expert.  No kidding, I have a ribbon to prove it and everything.  So, when I say some barbeque is pretty darned good, I know my business. 
     I rank Duke's Barbeque in Georgetown one of the Top Ten barbeque joints in Texas.  Try the brisket, ribs, and potato salad, but get the sauce on the side.  The sauce is hot/sweet and good, but it tends to overwhelm the rub.  They also have a great patio for those perfect Texas evenings with Democratic friends from across the state. 

March 14 - And a big thanks for a Friday laugh to Dana Summers ---

March 14 - This is the most charming turn of events I've seen in a long time.
     Sweet Answered Prayers - you just gotta love it when they make a habit of stealing from each other.

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- An accounting scandal at the Republican Party's House campaign organization has federal agents investigating what happened to hundreds of thousands of dollars and could affect several congressional campaigns, party officials said Thursday.

Christopher Ward, the National Republican Congressional Committee's longtime treasurer, was fired in January after committee officials learned that he had been making unauthorized fund transfers dating to 2004, said Rep. Tom Cole, the committee's chairman.

"Based on analysis conducted to date, it appears likely that over a period of several years Ward made several hundred thousand dollars in unauthorized transfers of NRCC funds to outside committees whose bank accounts he had access to, including joint fund-raising committees in which the NRCC participated," Cole said in a written statement.

"He also appears to have made subsequent transfers of several hundred thousand dollars in funds from those outside committees to what appear to be his personal and business bank accounts."

     Oh well, live by the greed, die by the greed.
     Let's see ... this make three.  Three who have been caught.  So far.  What's the saying --- good things come in three?  No wait, good things come in two or three dozen -- like donuts.  So you guys keep it up, ya hear?

March 13 - Remember me telling you about Keli Goff, who is a friend of mine? That sweet, smart honey grew up right here in Fort Bend County and this village raised her well.  (Yeah, that's me, Bubba, and Bubba, Jr. in the picture with Keli's parents, Len and Opal.  We've been friends for 30 years.)
     Well, you're fixing to find out why Keli is a friend of mine.  Pat Buchanan told her to "shuddup!" on national teevee.  That's how badly she got under his skin, and how wrong he was and knew it. 
     Ain't she somethin'? 
     The only suggestion I'd have is that instead of saying, "Pat, that's inappropriate," like her Momma taught her to do, next time she should say, "Hop on over here, Mr. Buchanan, and kiss my big blue butt," like I taught her.

He should have just told her to hush up a minute......and she should have.  Both the women were talking over him and to my mind thats just rude.....and then they both get concerned over his "shut up" statement.
Baloney....and you know it girl.  You think Ophrah would be chasing around the country for Obama if he were white?  Nah.
Hey, I do enjoy your blog/whateveryoucall it and its my best source of  "go to" stuff...I send it all over the place.

March 13 - We get email about hateful stuff going on in foreign states ---


I'm not sure you are aware of a foreign state to the North of yours shaped like a dripping frying pan, but seeing how it apparently exists in an alternate universe you may be forgiven. 

You might want to listen to this speech from an Oklahoma legislator.  Contrary to Ms. Kerns assessment,
as far as I can tell the bans on gay marriage have so far failed to weaken Al Qaeda, solve the health care problem, and surprisingly the economy isn't doing any better, either. 

One of these supposed threats to our nation wrote a nicely worded personal note on what these sorts of comments DIRECTLY lead to. I stress 'directly' because what I often hear from people I argue with is that letting gay folks get away with living their own lives leads to general moral decay that will ultimately destroy society. Funny, I thought hate speech, propaganda, and infringed rights lead to that.

Here's Michelle McCarthy's note.

This appears to be SFM (Safe For Momma)

Take Care,


March 13 - Well, well, well -- there are all kinds of Johns.  There's Governor Eliot Spitzer, who is a ta-ta John, and there's County Commissioner Andy Meyers, who is a money John. 
     Take a lookie here, PBS&J, that infamous company that's been caught illegally dipping into taxpayer's pockets in half a dozen states, just bought themselves some Commissioner Andy Meyers love.
     Andy Meyer's little political fundraising breakfast, arranged by another county vendor (which is against the law - check January 7th here), was obviously very profitable.  No bad for a guy who is not up for re-election this year, huh?
     Andy thinks greed is a Super DeLux Brand Christian sacrament.  Andy can't seem to live well enough on his $110,000 a year county salary and overly generous benefits, even though it's the most money he's ever made in his life.  He expects county non-bid vendors to pay for his gasoline bill, his pickup truck, his phones, and to keep his son employed.
     So, from now on, just to keep things simple, we're going to start calling PBS&J "Vendor #9," and Andy Meyers gets to be "Kristen, the expensive ho."

March 13 - Well, I got AT&T.  It's a lot cheaper and twice as fast as Comcast.  Thanks to David for coming over and setting everything up for me.  He moved all my furniture around to get to the plugs and didn't even laugh at the dustballs!  Now, that's a real professional.

March 12 - Reason #4,598 to oppose the Trans-Texas corridor --- Camp Allen

A Piney Woods retreat that has hosted national church conferences on controversial issues, celebrated the consecration of bishops and provided summer memories for thousands of teens now faces another kind of challenge.

The nearly two square miles of forest, hills, fields, lakes and buildings that make up Camp Allen Conference & Retreat Center, 15 miles southeast of Navasota, lie in a two-mile-wide strip listed in state documents as the preferred route for the planned Interstate 69/Trans-Texas Corridor.

Proposed by Gov. Rick Perry in 2002, the corridor plan has drawn heated opposition at town hall meetings and public hearings throughout Southeast Texas.

     You can sign the petition here.  Or learn about Camp Allen here.

March 12 - Well, just call me Ms. Lemming ---

There is no deal for the music of the Beatles to go to iTunes or be sold anywhere on the Internet for downloading.

I hate to burst everyone’s bubbles, but the story that this would happen sprang like most inaccurate muck from a British tabloid over the weekend. It began with some notion that Paul McCartney on his own could make such a deal. And then, the reasoning was that McCartney did it "because he needs the money for his divorce" from the foul and avaricious Heather Mills.

And then, lemmings around the world subscribed to this lunacy without doing any fact-checking.

     Thanks to Christopher for the heads-up!

March 12 - I thought I'd let you know that through an overexuberance of really hacked-off, I canceled my Comcast account yesterday.  I can get email, but have to reply using my gmail account. 
     The problem with being at the coffee shop that I know everyone who comes in, so very little gets accomplished my my website.  However, I have caught up on all the local gossip!

March 11 - The last two remaining GOP CD 22 candidates are snipping at each other on the internet machine. 

Now, in addition to his campaign Web site, Olson has an auxiliary site saying his opponent positively flip-flops. It's called

     You know, they should hire me to name their websites.  I dunno, I kinda like www.OlsonHeartsTomDeLay and

March 11 - I know you're not going to believe this, but I'm at the coffee shop again. 
     Comcast has moved from stinkin' to egg suckin' dogs.  I just canceled my service and will be getting AT&T on Friday.  I would tell you what I've been through since last Wednesday, but you wouldn't believe me.
     Today they informed me that I had to return their modem or be charged for it.  Their broken modem.
     So, I'll be making trips to the coffee shop for the next couple of days.

March 10 - Got yourself some questions about the Democratic senatorial district conventions in Fort Bend County on March 29th?
     Well, I've got a couple of answers.

March 10 - Look at it this way - now that you know, you can save money on your drug bills ---

Officials in Arlington, Texas, said pharmaceuticals had been detected in source water but wouldn’t say which ones or in what amounts, citing security concerns. Julie Hunt, director of water utilities, said to provide the public with information regarding “which, if any, pharmaceuticals or emerging compounds make it through the treatment process can assist someone who wishes to cause harm through the water supply.”

     And we all know what drug is in the New York drinking water ----

Gov. Eliot Spitzer has informed his most senior administration officials that he had been involved in a prostitution ring, an administration official said this morning.

     I can't wait to hear the "Viagra in the drinking water" defense.

Well, it was 8 below zero this morning (I don't care to hear about T-shirts, shorts, and flip-flops. Spring is only a few days away..

Click here for Washington news.



The NY gov is a bigger fool than your gov.

Who says Texas is the bottom.


March 10 - Best news of the day for old hippies -- The Beatles will soon be available on iTunes.  And yes, of course I have an iPod.  Goodness sakes, I got tired of carrying that boom box on my shoulder. 
     Anybody have an ideas about which Beatles album I should download first?

How about John Lennon and Yoko Ono singing "Give Peace A Chance"?


Revolver, Rubber Soul and Abbey Rd are my faves, but Sgt Pepper was the first album I ever owned so it has a sentimental edge...

Have you seen the movie Across the Universe yet? Watched Across the Universe  with my daughter  last week when she was here for spring break.  LOVED it. If you are a Beatles fan, it's a must own DVD.


Susan - why not ALL of them.  They didn't make a bad album.


Yo Susan, 
Obviously, Revolution.
Your Dam Yankee Friend in Spring,

March 9 - I'm working on a little FAQ for the senatorial district conventions.  It'll help locals new to the convention process and help you folks from foreign states understand what the tarnation we're doing here.  I hope to have it ready by tomorrow afternoon.
     I would have had it ready today but the weather was glorious so we went crabbing.  Eat your heart out.

March 9 - It is now Day Four of Comcast Stinks Like They Have a Goat Under Each Arm and Catfish in Their Back Pocket.
     They sent a tech to my house on Saturday.  Nice enough kid, but they sent a modem tech and I need a router tech.  So, the modem tech spent two hours on the phone trying to get a new appointment for me.  He finally stopped trying because he has other appointments to make, so I have to start all over again on Monday. 
     Thank you, Comcast.  I am no better off than I was on Thursday morning and I've wasted the better part of a beautiful Saturday for stinkin' nothin'.
     Now  I understand why old ladies bring hammers to the Comcast store.

March 8 - Well, well, some days everything just works out okay.
     GOP Congressman Rick Renzi's indictment included allegations that Renzi embezzled premiums from his insurance agency's clients to fund his first congressional campaign, but it didn't identify the clients other than to indicate that they were nonprofit organizations.
     Turns out they were right-to-life organizations.

His initial scam was simple. Renzi owned a small insurance brokerage firm. His clients wrote him checks to secure themselves insurance policies — but Renzi instead swiped the money and funneled it to his campaign. When clients learned that their policies had been canceled for nonpayment, Renzi and Company allegedly issued fake certificates to fool clients into thinking they were covered by a different insurer.

And here's the real irony. Renzi's insurance company specialized in nonprofit agencies — particularly right-to-life groups and crisis pregnancy centers.

     I think I'm seeing a healthy trend here:
NRCC treasurer steals hundreds of thousands of dollars from NRCC.
     The right-to-life candidate steals hundreds of thousands of dollars from right-to-life organizations.
     Thanks for the help, Boys!  Keep up the good work!

March 7 - Speaking of Tom DeLay, and Lord knows very few people are, it appears that the $52 a year blogging business thing didn't work out.  So much for his much touted comeback, huh? 
     Let's see, the exterminating business didn't work out, the congressional thing didn't work out, the book writing thing didn't work out, the blogging thing kinda fell apart ... but, darnit, that slutting for lobbyists thing worked like a charm!

March 7 - Just when you think nakkid, raw, and giggling irony is dead, along comes my personal favorite entertaining political consultant, Chris Homan.
     This takes a tad of explaining.
     Back about a week ago, I noticed an article on Politico where someone working for candidate Pete Olson by the name of Chris Hillman was quoted saying that none of the local GOP congressional candidates wanted Tom DeLay's endorsement because "Democrats want nothing more than to say that the nominee is the person picked by DeLay. That’s their hope and dream."
     I expressed the oddity that there was no one named Chris Hillman working for Olson.  There was, however, someone named Chris Homan, and Chris Homan was Tom DeLay's former vicious manager.
     To be honest, the whole thing kinda smelled of weird to me. 
     Well, along comes someone to help me understand it.  Here's an email from Christopher ....

Mrs. Bankston,

I'm one of those radical, right-winger Christian Republicans you so loathe -- but despite your stereotypes I'm actually a nice family guy with integrity who happens to appreciate your service to the community, to your party, and to FBC politics in general.  I love when you bust GOP'ers for their hypocrisy just as much as I would if you turned your sharp-edged rhetorical knives on a Democrat.  Just so you know who's sending this note…

Anyway, I just wanted to point out that the Politico article you referenced (in a March 3rd posting) to has changed "Hillman" to "Homan" -- without noting the change anywhere or the strange co-inkydink that it was DeLay's former campaign manager saying such things about DeLay.

I'm glad DeLay gerrymandered me out of his district (I'm in Cinco Ranch), but all that means is that I'm now represented by Dr. "No".  Ugh.  I think he's a nice guy in general, and I appreciate his position on some issues, but he's about as kooky and detached from reality as… well…  I'll let you fill in the colorful simile.  How do we keep re-electing this guy?!?  (sigh)

Have a blessed day!


     So, I'm wondering --- if you think DeLay's not endorsing, you're short a few tamales on your combination platter.  He's endorsing, but he's just not using his name.
     And don't forget what you can expect come November with Chris Homan at the helm.  I already bought my helmet and boxing gloves and I can hardly wait.  Maybe Homan will have the guts to come himself next time.  Chezzz, Honey, I've whipped better men than him.

March 7 - By the way, it's Day Two of Comcast Stinks, just in case you're counting.
     Well, it appears that Silly Shelley is not all that popular with her fellow former congressvarmints.  They've all endorsed her run-off opponent, Pete Olson.  (More about Pete and his "local" connections coming soon.)
    It appears that Shelley's minister is the only person she gets along with.  Maybe she fills the love offering plate each week, and bless her if she does.
     Hey, either candidate is fine with me because they're both carrying more baggage than the lost and found at the bus station. 
     The decision seems to be between somebody mean and arrogant or Tom DeLay, Jr. 
     I'm going to be interested to see how much influence  Washington, DeeCee, can bring on the other candidates to support Olson.  I suspect that the pressure washer at the car wash will look weak compare to what those guys bring.

March 7 - Okay, so who's whining that the Texas caucus system is unfair?  Uh, the loser
     Winning a caucus takes grassroots ground organization.  I dunno 'bout you, but I think proving that you have grassroots ground organization is an important factor in determining if you should be our party's nominee. 
     If Obama is better than Hillary at organizing the grassroots and getting them back to the polls, then that tells me that he'll be better at getting them there in the first place in November.
     Look, even in my almost 99% white conservative precinct, Obama took the delegates 5 to 3, and he'll win the caucus across Texas.  Everybody knows that. 
     The caucus system builds the grassroots.  It's not popular with the paid political consultants, but it's very popular with people who want to build the party.
     Oh, and it's also not popular with people who get their butts handed to them.
     Ya know, I'm trying real hard to be positive and sweet about both our candidates, but one of our candidates is making that real hard.   


I don't know if you noticed, but your friend Steve at White's Creek is beginning to agree with you about Hillary. 

Me?  I'm a Democrat because I don't like Karl Rove tactics.

Hey Zeus

March 6 - Those of you familiar with our regular commenter Sam from Pearland now get to see Sam in real live person on the teevee!
     Sam has filed suit to keep government out of churches and vice versa.  Shelley Sekula Gibbs wants to put politics in church -- as long as the church endorses her, of course.
     When you let churches into government, you also let government into churches.  
     Sam's a fighter and thank God - literally - that we have him!

March 6 -Those of you here through searches for information about the county senatorial conventions - here's what I know.

Senatorial District 18 for Fort Bend County will meet in the auditorium of  Lamar Consolidated High School on Mustang Drive in Rosenberg.

Senatorial District 13 for Fort Bend County is yet to be determined.

Senatorial District 17 for Fort Bend County is yet to be determined.

Check here for information as it becomes available.

March 6 - Okay, so Comcast is not Comtastic.  Heck they're not even Comadequate.  Once again I'm on my laptop at the coffee shop because Comcast can't seem to get my electric internet signal to my house. 
     And their tech support is about as helpful as a teaspoon in a flood.  They put me through all manner of gyrations this morning -- unplug that, then reboot this, then go over to the wall and unscrew that little thing on the back of ... am I getting a paycheck from these people? 
     So, I've got about 20 answered emails in my box that I can't send.  If you don't hear from me, it's because Comcast is making me wait until Saturday afternoon for a tech person. 
     So, I'll peruse the news this morning and see if there's anything I need to get hacked-off about.

     By the way, I can't send email either, so if you email me, don't expect a reply until Comcast lets me talk to you.

March 5 - I have a good story to tell you.  And it's absolutely true.
     A friend of mine is a Democratic precinct judge in one of the ritzier precincts in the county.  An old guy comes in to vote and goes to her table.
     “I want to vote in the Democratic primary for President and in the Republican primary for all the other races,” he announces.
     “You can’t do that,” my friend explains.  “We have closed primaries in Texas.  You can either vote in the Democratic primary or the Republican primary, but not both.”
     The man bristles-up.  “By gawd, I can!” he insists.
     “No, you can’t.  It’s the law,” she replies while searching for her copy of the election code. 
     It just so happens that my friend’s poll has a Justice Department observer at her poll to insure a fair election.  The Justice Department observer stands silently by, watching this exchange.
     “Yes, I can, by gawd!  I know for a fact that I can,” the man – who shall be known as Mr. Cantankerous henceforth – insists.  He’s riled-up and ready to bolt now.
     “I’m sorry, sir, but I cannot give you a Presidential ballot.  I can only give you a Democratic ballot.  However, if you vote here, you cannot vote again over there,” my friend sweetly says, pointing at the GOP table.
     “By gawd, I know I can,” he was hollering now.  “Rush Limbaugh told me I could.”  And he threw in an extra “by gawd” just to make sure she understands the King’s English.  “You hearin’ me?  Rush Limbaugh said I could vote in the Democratic primary for Hillary Clinton.”
     My friend pauses, looks down at her voting book, and twitches her mouth sideways, the way Texas women do when they are suffering fools gladly. 
     “Sir, Rush Limbaugh’s permission and ten dollars will buy you a cup of coffee at any local Democratic voting location,” my friend smiles.
     Boy Howdy, Mr. C was coiled and hissing at that comment.  “Oh, really,” he asks in the manner of reminding her of what forces of nature she is dealing with, “are you trying to tell me that you’re smarter than Rush Limbaugh?”
     “My gawd, I do believe that's exactly what I'm saying,” she gleefully replies.

     I love Texas wimmen.  Even the Justice Department observer started laughing.


Actually, holding two separate Primaries for President and other offices almost DID happen in 1979, when the Texas Legislature got the bright idea to help along John Connally's Republican Presidential bid by splitting the Primaries so that Democrats could vote for Connally one day on the Republican side and then on a separate day vote in the Democratic Primary for other offices as if nothing had happened.  Once they realized they couldn't stop it, several Democratic Senators went into hiding to deny the Senate a quorum.  This was, in its day, as celebrated as the "Great Skedaddles" of Texas Legislators to Oklahoma and New Mexico.  Except that in 1979 "The Killer Bees," as the rogue Senators were called, prevailed by forcing an end to the scheme.  Connally's campaign flamed out with 1 lone delegate before he got to Texas, having run into a buzzsaw named Ronald Reagan.  While many voters regard it as their "God-given right" to vote a split ticket in the Primary, on this occasion "God" was overruled by The Killer Bees.


March 5 - 'Nuf said ---

March 4 - Okay, I'm home from my precinct convention.  I live in a very, mucho, massive Republican precinct.  But, not tonight.
     The number of Democrat at our precinct convention was: a passel.  I know; I counted.  Count yourself ---

     And the number of people at the Republican precinct convention?  Three. 

     By the way, Obama won the delegate race in my precinct 3 to 5. 

March 4 - Oh sweet estrogen on a jelly roll! I made new girlfriends today.
     I got a call to get my big blue butt over to Manford Williams Elementary School.  That's not too far from me so I made the trip and found this waiting for me.  A totally handmade Obama How-To-Caucus table.

Even with whirlygigs!

Is this just not the coolest thing you've seen in a week or three? 


    So, I introduced myself and made two new girlfriends.  We're meeting-up at the district convention.
     You can join us if you want to.  It's the Texas Two-Step for Obama.

Happy Primary Day, Susan!!!  I made my early trip to the polls this morning, so I can go back this evening & caucus, and I  must say I was quite gratified at the number of Democrats in line at 7:05 a.m.!!!  Our line was FINALLY longer than the Republican sign in line!!!! Truly an exciting day! 
Thanks for all your coverage & GOBAMA!!!
Stephanie up in Arlington

March 4 - Happy Election Day from Steve Sak -

     I'm going to be in and out most of the day - picking up voters and making phone calls.  But, I'll let you know if anything earth-shattering happens.

March 3 - Bubba went out with Vince, Charles and Hal and did themselves proud this evening at the polling locations ---

     You'll see these at polling locations tomorrow morning, bright and early.
    And here's a shot of Bubba of 9:30 tonight pulling the last sign out of his Jeep.
     We finished in record time this year, which is no easy feat considering Vince was chasing runaway signs down the middle of Thompson Highway.  We've got gale force winds here tonight and those big signs become magic carpets pretty easily. 
     See ya tomorrow morning at the polls.

March 3 - Okay, this is creepy weird.
     Politico did a story on the GOP CD 22 race and Tom DeLay.  They carefully explained that Tom DeLay is not endorsing in the race because his endorsement would be the kiss of death.
     Ya think?
    But then they quote "Chris Hillman", candidate Pete Olson's political consultant. 

“Democrats want nothing more than to say that the nominee is the person picked by DeLay. That’s their hope and dream,” said Olson consultant Chris Hillman. “They hope to continue to say the name ‘Tom DeLay’ and hope that gets them votes.”

     Well, that's kinda odd.
     Olson's campaign reports don't show that he's paying anyone named Chris Hillman.
     They do, however, show that Olson is paying Chris Homan, Tom DeLay's former campaign manager. 
     Okay, so now we come to the surging irony part of our program - did Chris Homan change his name to Hillman so he couldn't be connected to Tom DeLay in a national publication, and then trash DeLay?  Hillman, Homan - what are the odds?

March 3 - Oh, now this has just enough spin to make you nauseous. 

With a record voter turnout across the country, spurred on by a tight race for the Democratic presidential nomination, the Fort Bend County GOP chairman is cautioning Republicans against cross-voting.

In an email “Election Day Alert,” party Chairman Rick Miller said, “Any Republican voter who may be considering voting in the Democratic Primary election to affect the outcome of the presidential selection should be aware that you may be negatively affecting state and local Republican elections and you are losing your ability to participate in this year’s Republican Precinct, Senatorial District and State Conventions.”

     That's a crock.
     Now, I know that you Republicans are trying to explain why you've been outvoted 2.5 to 1 during early voting, but to leave Fort Bend GOP Party Chair Rick Miller standing there with empty hands and a equally empty head is kinda cruel.
     Republican crossover just ain't happening. 
     Last weekend, I checked two heavily GOP precincts.  I took the names of early voters and cross-checked them to see voting history.  They were either Democrats, had voted regularly in the general election but never voted in either party's primary, or were first time voters.  I found none - zero - zip - nilch - who were regular GOP primary voters. 
     Ain't happening, Rick.  But, nice try.

March 3 - Yep, it's like recess in Heaven.

The state Democratic Party is partying like it's 1959. Those were the good old days, when Texas Republicans were so rare that crowds would gather whenever one wandered into town.

     Like "The Nation", most folks give Dubya the full credit for reviving the Texas Democratic Party.  And we throw a polite bow to the current TDP Chairman, Boyd Richie, for being ready to capitalize on any Republican missteps, and having a few sashaying moves of his own.

"For years, the Anglo Democrats down here were so beaten down, they just quit. They gave up. Now there is a bandwagon effect that is bringing them out again," Jillson says.

A Texas Republican strategist agrees. "The Democratic groundswell here is so deep and so energized," says the consultant, who didn't want to be identified. He says he believes the Republicans have made poor tactical choices in recent state races and that the party's split over religious issues is costing it voters.

     And here's some sweet music ---

In this season of change, it seems all eyes are on the Texas Democrats. And many here feel they are finally getting the attention they deserve. After all, they'll tell you, they were smart enough to reject George W. Bush long before the rest of the country.

     I'll say Amen and pass the plate again on that one.

March 3 - Weather for tomorrow?

     We're having a storm here today, but I'll be out helping put signs in front of the polls this evening.  As is tradition around here, I'll be taking pictures and sharing them with you.

March 3 - Okay, Hal beat me to the best Obama video yet.  Warning - it will stick in your head all day.

March 2 - GOP CD22 candidate John Manlove has the taste of disgust for Shelley and Pete.  But my favorite is the history book timeline of his life.  Oh wow, will there be a test?
     Jim Squire's main qualification seems to be that he restores old cars.  No, I'm serious.  And he can make decisions.  Lots of them.  Oh goodie.
     And Shelley Sekula Gibbs wants you to know she's a very good Christian at the dinner table.  But a very mean one all other times.
     And who doesn't love Crazy Bob Talton - who hires and pays the cut-and-run former GOP county chair Gary Gillen to run his campaign and then surprisingly get his endorsement.
     Thanks again to David for all the scanning.

Hi Susan,

Well, Shelley-Belly displayed her ignorance again.  In that flyer you so thoughtfully memorexed, Shelley suggested that Olson run for Congress in Washington, D.C.  Yet the tax records for the home she photographed are in Fairfax Co., Virginia.  Yes, that is a Washington, D.C. suburb, but Olson doesn't qualify because he doesn't reside IN the District proper.  He can run in his Virginia Congressional District because that's where he resides.  Of course when Tom DeLay tried to pull a reverse carpetbag con ole Shelley thought it was peachy keen with Kool Whip on top.  She swore up and down that Tom really HAD moved to Virginia, because he submitted a coupon good for 20% off on a return service visit to a Virginia Auto Lube & Scoot place--and by God, that was good enough for her.  Hey, doesn't this speak to her poor judgement, now that he's come crawling back when it didn't work?  I mean, if you offered her the choice between a "shiny new dime" or  a "dirty old quarter," which do you think she'd pick?  My money's on, "OOOOOOOH, shiny!"


March 2 - And Earl makes his major endorsement.

Well, I'm backing Weird Darryl Heizman for County Septic Tank Inspector.  Darryl just loooves septic tanks--he can splash around in one for HOURS.  Look, septic is important.  We don't need an Inspector who will hold his nose and glance at it, then write a quickie report that he might as well have written back at the office--which he probably did anyway, truth be told.  You see Darryl get out of his truck with a shovel and it gives you confidence that he'll get to the bottom of things.  You won't want to stand downwind of him afterwards, but that's beside the point.  Now I'm not saying that Billy Bob Preston isn't a good man--no such thing!  I just don't think he has the "nose" for the job, if you take my meaning.  Anyway, my yard sign is:

 Weird Darryl Heizman says:
 "A Straight Flush beats A Full House"
 Your best bet for County
 Septic Tank Inspector

And I stand behind that sign, too.  Especially when Darryl is taking off his sloppy hip waders, I tell you what.


March 2 - We get email from Sam in Pearland --

I was at an Americans United training session today and one of the atendees from Clear Lake brought a copy of the attached letter.  It apparently went out to Republicans in the district. I guess that when pastor Riggle applied for his 501(c)(3) tax status his word just didn't count for anything. 

AU is filing a complaint with the IRS and I think we should all let Shelly and Pastor Riggle know just what we think of their lack of integrity.


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March 1 - Those disturbed by Hillary Clinton's turn toward the dark side with the "who do you want to answer the phone at  3:00 a.m." woo-woo let's scare the poot outta everybody because it worked for Bush teevee ad, will want to see the quicker than double geared lightening response from the Obama campaign.
     Hey - somebody needs to call Hillary at 3:00 a.m. and tell her to quit running John McBush's ads for him.
     Meanwhile, are you getting tired of how every little criticism of Hillary suddenly becomes "Hillary bashing," usually with four or five exclamation points after it?  Yo, train to Martyrtown pulling out of the station, get your ticket stamped. 
     Go Barack.

Hi Susan,

I'm completely with you on the new Clinton ad and the Obama campaign's fast response.  On the same subject, here's another YouTube video you'll probably get a kick out of:

Hope all is well,

Note from Susan - be sure to watch it all the way to the end.  It has a surprise ending!

March 1 - Now here's a pretty amazing Republican election scan.  It's something called the Fort Bend County Conservative Voter's Guide.  It's a "website" that endorses.  For money.  With full color mailouts, too.

     Get to Know Katy puts out a brochure featuring Republican candidates .... who pay for it.  Those who give the most money get endorsed. 
     While it looks like an unbiased endorsement list, it ain't.  (It's 16 pages long.  I'll send you the whole thing if you email me and want it real bad.)
     This dude ain't got no use for Democrats. Well, unless we had a boatload of money to give him. 
     I appreciate him sending this around, because come the general election, I'm gonna have a word with the Texas Ethics Commission about this.  He better be filing a report with them because this is political advertising pure and simple. 

March 1 - Okay, we interrupt the Greatest Hits of Fort Bend County Political Mailouts to bring you this breaking news.  I was at the County Mart early voting location in Rosenberg yesterday afternoon and evening to campaign for my favorite candidates, Ron Reynolds and Rick Noriega.
     Honey, if I lost a bet and had to kiss County Judge Bob Hebert's rear end with a week's warning and formal invitations, it wouldn't have drawn a crowd as big as was there on the last day of early voting.  It was packed. 
   I, of course, have pictures because I'm better at this than you are. 

     First off, here's a cool lady named Sharon and her cool Hillary car and her even cooler daughter.  They were both adorable. 

     Republican Party Chairman and notorious press conference wrecker and Tom DeLay adorer Rick Miller was there, chatting with equally notorious I-Ain't-Putting-Up-With-Your-Crazy-Stuff Don Bankston, a known Democrat.  That's innocent bystander James Murray in the middle.

     I stayed clear of Rick Miller.  Although he claims that he didn't actually hit anyone that day, I know for a fact that he drove the get-away car.

     And at 7:00, there was still a long line waiting to vote on the last day of early voting.  That's the Democratic line.  The Republicans didn't have to wait.  Why?  Because there weren't as many of them.  I like saying that.  There weren't as many of them.  There weren't as ..... okay, okay, I'll say to myself.

     And, of course, the Obama supporters were there and pulling for those caucus votes.


     The big rumor for the day was that Hillary is going to sue the Texas Democratic Party over our delegate selection process. 
     I just want to remind Hillary of something:  First off, your people helped write the rules in the first place.  And, second off, earlier this year Dennis Kucinich sued the Texas Democratic Party and lost big time.  And, dammit, he had Willie Nelson file the suit. Willie Nelson.  If Willie Nelson can't intimidate the Texas Democratic Party, I'd say your chances are slim to none and fading.

Welcome to the website formerly known as The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.

My name is Susan DuQuesnay Bankston.
I live in Richmond, Texas, in heart of Tom DeLay's old district.  It's crazy here.  No, seriously, it's triple z crazzzy.

I used to be an independent voter, but that all changed when I got to know a few local Republicans.  They are meaner than 10 acres of snakes and have the ethical compass of a bank robber. 

So, I decided that they could just Kiss My Big Blue Butt.

A lot of what I post here has to do with local politics, but you probably have the same folks in your local government.

This ain't a blog.  Blogs are way too trendy for me.  I've been doing this since 1992, so I'm used to it even if you ain't. 

Email me and I'll find a place to put it if I like it.