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February 28 - Willie
Nelson sings about it, "There's a little old fashioned
justice goin' down, a little old fashioned karma comin'
Bob Perry's "Progress for America" with the
third-highest fine in FEC history - $750,000.
That's $750,000 Bob Perry can't use to spread lies.
That's worth a smile today.
There’s big news in the political kickback boondoggle we
amusingly call “campaign contributions.”
Most of you remember the oddity of several of our
county commissioners taking contributions from embattled
PBS&J, a Florida engineering company that was found to be
overcharging taxpayers for government contracts.
Amusingly, PBS&J also claimed to give some of our
county commissioners political contributions that the
commissioners didn’t report on their required contribution
Commissioners claim they never got the money.
However, at least three commissioners admit
receiving money from the PBS&J PAC in July of last year –
County Judge Bob Hebert $2,500; Commissioner Andy Meyers
$2,000; and Commissioner Tom Stavinoha $800.
reports out of Florida indicate that the PBS&J PAC was a
sham, at corporate, employee and customer expense.
Licata opened secret bank accounts and created what
auditors describe as a phantom political action
committee, "PBSJ PAC." The signatory on the secret
accounts was DeLoach, who over two years transferred in
millions of dollars from the medical benefits account.
Our commissioners list “PBSJ PAC” as the donor of the
hunks ’o cash they received. That, for the deaf, dumb, and
blind, would be the same PAC that was illegal.
And later on in the same story ---
addition to bilking their fellow employees, DeLoach,
Garcia and Licata embezzled from clients, including
Florida taxpayers. To make up what they were taking out
the back door, they created bogus expenses and billed
them to clients using general and administrative (G&A)
accounts, which charge for project management,
administration and overhead. Their manipulation of G&A
accounts inflated overhead rates for government
If our county commissioners don’t pony-up those donations
and return them quicker than a hiccup, they better know it
will be a campaign issue bigger than their greedy egos.
biggest question mark that remains for PBS&J, its
employees and clients is an ongoing FBI investigation
into illegal campaign contributions at the firm that was
sparked by the embezzlement probe.
the investigation is ongoing.
Lookie, lookie, Mr. FBI person, lookie over here: I
have all the reports, going back years.
February 27 -
Another rightwing Republican male bites the dust.
Jon Matthews, former conservative Houston
talk show host and
the former ying to my yang in the local newspaper, could
certainly talk the talk - especially about Bill Clinton -
but he could not walk the walk.
RICHMOND — Former radio
talk show host Jon Matthews was ordered to spend three
years in prison after a Fort Bend County judge this
morning revoked his probation.
Matthews, 61, left the
courtroom of state District Judge Brady Elliott after
agreeing to a three-year sentence on a charge
of indecency with a child.
The state claimed
Matthews violated several terms of the probation he
received two and half years ago after he pleaded guilty
to exposing himself to an 11-year-old girl. Matthews did
not dispute the claims made in court this morning.
Matthews and I went to work at the newspaper on the same
exact day in June of 1997. My first article was about
Sheriff Milton Wright putting his name on the county’s
patrol cars, which caused me to end up on the local Fox
News. Fox News agreed with me, and I still haven’t been
able to live that down.
I don’t remember what Jon’s first article was about,
but probably about how Democrats are all Satan-worshipping
spawn of evil who want to take all of his money and spend
it on little hungry children who should not have been born
to bad parents if they wanted to eat.
Matthews quit working at the newspaper in
November of 2003, for reasons that seem to pester many
I remained on until much after that, but I did not
comment about the Matthews case because I write semi-funny
stuff and there’s nothing funny about what Jon did.
Now he just becomes another
in a long list of exposed Republican
big-name men. We're up to three this month alone.
enjoyed your post about Jon Matthews and his Ying.
Are you sure you never saw it? Why are the
repressed republicans so sick?
they don’t kill us in a unwarranted war, or by vetoing
stem cell research, or by not following the
recommendations of the 9-11 Commission, or by refusing to
admit that maybe there’s a problem with the weather we
might can help fix, or by insuring that every drug dealer
and nut case out there has an assault rifle, or by letting
the pharmaceutical companies rip off Grandma for her heart
medicine, or by cutting funding for health care for
children who are not poor by choice, or by …. GOOD GRIEF,
the Republicans will not be happy until we’re all dead.
Now they’re trying to poison us all.
I hate to say I told you so, but …. Well, that’s not
true. I really enjoy saying I told you so.
federal agency that’s been front and center in warning
the public about tainted spinach and contaminated peanut
butter is conducting just half the food safety
inspections it did three years ago.
cuts by the Food and Drug Administration come despite a
barrage of high-profile food recalls.
have a food safety crisis on the horizon,” said Michael
Doyle, director of the Center for Food Safety at the
University of Georgia.
Every time you open a can of beans anymore, it’s like
walking into a lion’s cage with pork chops in your
pockets. It ain’t safe.
And to make their point, there’s been another
Foods Inc. on Friday recalled all packages of Oscar
Mayer/Louis Rich chicken breast strips and cuts,
expanding the scope of a Feb. 18 recall that resulted
when tests found signs of possible contamination.
initial recall was by Carolina Culinary Foods, a
supplier for Kraft, and occurred last Sunday after
Georgia Department of Agriculture food scientists found
Listeria monocytogenes in a sample. That type of
contamination can cause listeriosis, which is uncommon
but potentially fatal.
I mean, listeriosis doesn’t even sound good. I bet you
would not let me set you up on a blind date with a guy I
describe as, “very nice and easy on the eyes, and except
for that middlin’ case of listeriosis, he’s a bucket of
fun.” You wouldn’t go, would you? See? I know it’s not,
but it sounds contagious.
Thanks for the heads-up on the story, Deb!
the Bush administration corrupt?
A judge on Tuesday sentenced
former Food and Drug Administration
chief Lester Crawford to three years' supervised
probation with fines of roughly $90,000 for lying about
stocks he owned in companies regulated by his agency.
If this guy owned stock in peanut butter, he's mine.
No, seriously, I'll whine him to death.
February 26 -
anyone know if Commissioner Andy Meyers was in
Lubbock last week?
A troupe of Chippendales
dancers won't face criminal charges for the "pelvic
thrusts" that got them thrown in jail for a night.
Police shut down a
sold-out show at Jake's Sports Cafe on Feb. 16, saying …
the dancers were accused of performing a sexually
oriented show without the proper permits.
Looks like it’s time
for Nookie’s Bakery to open a franchise in Lubbock.
From what I’ve seen of Lubbock cops, this was
jealousy pure and simple. Most Lubbock cops haven’t seen
their pelvis in twenty years and couldn't thrust it with a
forklift and and a backhoe.
knew it. I just knew it.
Sugar Land Mayor and Congressman Wannbe
David Wallace is a soccer fan.
self-described "big soccer fan," Wallace said he is
interested in the city continuing its talks with the
Yes, Sugar Land is considering spending tax money to build
a home for the Dynamoes – Houston’s professional soccer
Tax and Waste Republicans think there’s no end to how
much they can spend – just as long as it includes cement
and high-paying jobs for their friends. Just think how
many government contracts they could skim campaign
donations from with a project this size!
At least they’re recognizing that there’s more than a
tad of downside to a project like this ---
potential site for a stadium could be on 52 acres along
the Brazos River that is the near the University of
Houston System at Sugar Land, City Councilman Michael
"Obviously, we could do some sort of a venue there,"
Schiff said. "We have the space for it. That would be
probably the only clearly identifiable area that could
even be considered because you have issues of traffic,
congestion, noise, security and all sorts of things
related to a stadium."
Let me tell you the difference between the Tax and Waste
Republican Mayor of Sugar Land and the Democratic Mayor of
Stafford, Leonard Scarcella.
If Leonard Scarcella was negotiating with this team,
he’d have them convinced that they should pay the city for
the stadium and like writing the check.
- Those with good memory machines on their shoulders
will recall that the Fort Bend Republican Party had nasty
boy Dick Morris as their speaker at the Lincoln Day Dinner
Nice choice, guys.
We know what he didn't do with all the money you had to
give him to grace you with his presence ....
he didn't pay his taxes.
there is high-profile individuals like political
consultant and Fox News contributor Dick Morris. Morris
owes over $280,000 and has been on the state's list of
tax delinquents for years.
I guess that's one way to get a tax cut - just don't pay
And Sugar Land Mayor David Wallace paid $15,000 for the
honor of introducing him. Don't tell Shelley!
Okay, do tell Shelley.
knew it had to happen. Wikipedia has been declared a
wicked anti-Christian socialist website by
Conservapedia is a much-needed alternative to
Wikipedia, which is increasingly anti-Christian and
anti-American. On Wikipedia, many of the dates are
provided in the anti-Christian "C.E." instead of "A.D.",
which Conservapedia uses.
When Deb fist sent me this link, I thought it was a joke
being played by some creative liberal college kids. But,
apparently, it’s serious as a heart transplant.
I perused the site and found no listings for the
following terms: Sermon on the Mount, beatitudes, or
greed. Meanwhile wiki, has all of those:
Sermon an the Mount,
And, just to be nice, wiki also has an explanation of
There’s a war going on. Believe it or not, we’re
having problems with clear air. Global warming is a
fact. Children are turned into killing machines in
Africa. Hugo Chavez is being a very scary man. But,
somewhere, somebody is all in a twit over AD and CE.
Kinda gets you in gut, doesn’t it?
Quite a fan of your site. Frequently makes me glad
I live up here in the People's Republic of
Cambridge, but always a good read.
The concept certainly isn't a joke (it seems to be run by
(son-of-Phyllis) Andrew Schlafly), but there's been
quite an infiltration by snarky liberals of all
stripes. Check out the definition of patriotism
that one of them has put up (unchallenged):
Patriotism, or love of country, is the highest
virtue. Patriotism means unquestioning obedience
and loyalty to the
of the country. The opposite of patriotism,
is the act of questioning, criticizing or voting
against the Leader.
Patriotism comes from the Latin. An ancient Latino
poet wrote "Dulce et decorum est pro Patria mori",
which means "It is sweet and decorative for
patriots to die".
(I know this is snark, as the person who put it up commented
about it at Pharyngula).
Unfortunately, they're not allowing new user registration at
the moment, so I haven't been able to get in on the
fun, but it's quite entertaining to click on the
"random page" link and try to separate the satirists
from those who genuinely believe this stuff.
February 23 - Bubba
got his picture taken with Obama last night in the big
city, so he's all "wooo-woo, don't tell Momma, but I'm for
Bottom line for me? I'm for anyone who will
remind these danged fool Republicans that this country
belongs to all of us.
And Obama seems to say that pretty loudly. Good
- Community narcissism. It's a harsh but apt
term for how our elected officials stay elected while
blind to the needs of the community.
Richard Murray, a political scientist at the University
of Houston, says Fort Bend County needs strong political
leadership to confront the scarcely discussed issues of
poverty and homelessness. "It will be a painful
transition," Murray says. "Sugar Land and other cities
are going to have to deal with a wider range of problems
than where to put the Mercedes dealership."
Poverty and homelessness in Fort Bend County. We
just don't talk about it. If you live here, read the
article. It's time to talk about it.
February 22 - Okay,
so I have a better idea than the
proposed demonstration against them .....
A Republican student group
in New York has sparked claims of racism by organising a
game called "Find the Illegal Immigrant".
Students will act as
immigration officers in Thursday's game and try to find
a student in a crowd designated with a badge as the
The game has sparked
protests from other students with hundreds planning to
demonstrate against it.
The New York University
College Republican club denied it was racist.
They are young Republicans. Bring enlistment papers
and a boatload of Marine recruiters. They'll clear the
place out faster than double geared lightening. Heck,
those little chickenpoops would be running away so fast
it'd take them half an hour to draw to a halt.
Do I have to do all the darned thinking around here?
The Young Repugnicans up
here at the Pennsylvania Snake University (where
they teach 'em how to slither) tried to play that
game last April and Howard Dean called out Ken
Mehlman on that fact that the Repugnican National
Comedy was funding an intern playing the same stunt
in September at the Michiganders' school (where they
presumably teach 'em how to get around however it is
that a Michigander locomotes itself -- imagine a
wolverine with goose feet and wings then put it in
the foreground of a Mark Trail comic strip with a
talk bubble coming from its backside but, as usual,
I digress). You would think that with all the talk
about honor an patriotism that one or two of them
would be ashamed of themselves but of course, in
order for that to happen, they'd need to have a
conscience which, of course, they don't have because
they're like psychopaths and have a
monkeysphere with room for only one.
loophole in Texas law allows politicians to buy property
for themselves. It’s a cute little trick. The spouse
“buys” property and then
the lawmaker pays rent to the spouse from the campaign
Okay, look, you gotta promise not to tell “independently
wealthy” County Judge Bob Hebert about this scam. He’ll
suddenly need a condo in South Padre to conduct county
Campaign finance reform is a dirty word in the State
Lege. The Texas Ethics Commission can only enforce the
laws, not make them.
Letting the Lege write the laws on campaign finance is
like letting NASCAR write the speed laws. Or Willie
Nelson write the wildweed laws.
February 21 - Reason
#654 that I am not a Republican.
Do these people ever listen to themselves to see what
they believe in? In a story about the
TXU coal plants ----
"I'm a Republican, but
the reason I don't want the coal plants is I live
here,'' said Zach Crohn, a college sophomore. "Baylor is
very Southern Baptist conservative Republican, but this
will affect all of us, no matter what you believe in
politics. It would be a different story if it was a
Way to go, Zack! Keep looking out for #1! Now,
if they want to put it over there around San Antonio where
all the Catholics are.....
By the way, Zack - on a clear day, which most aren't
I can see this outside my upstairs window. It's
the Parish plant at Smither's Lake. See a
overhead view of it. And the coal cars that
rumble down the railroad tracks in my little town rattle
Hey, but at least it ain't Waco, huh? And we do
keep the Southern Baptists to a minimum around here, so I
guess it's a fair trade-off.
Good post on the TXU plant in Waco.
I used to be like Zach Crohn and thought I was a
republican. Believed in tort reform to stop the
“greedy trial lawyers”. That was before I needed
one. When I did need one, I found out what a joke
tort reform was and how our rights have been slowly
destroyed by demonizing trial lawyers. That was in
1994. I haven’t looked back since.
And please Zach, don’t tell me how conservative
Baylor is. I graduated from Texas A&M. Was in the
Corp of Cadets. Graduated as a 2nd Lt in the Army. I
was brainwashed from the git go. A&M can kick the
crap out of your liberal ass school. It took me 16
years to realize I wasn’t a republican.
- New billboard in Houston,
these folks. (I don't know anything about
them except that they certainly do nice billboards.)
It's at the intersection
and Cleburne, where 59 goes over Almeda.
February 20 -
As my friend Deb says, "Republicans accuse Democrats of
supporting terrorists, while terrorists are supporting
And she can prove it.
February 20 -
your county commissioner today and
demand that they buy a verifiable paper trail for our
Do not buy any bullcorn from County Judge Bob Hebert,
who is not really a judge but likes to wear a dress, that
we cannot declare an emergency to buy the proper
equipment. Sweet Holy Mother of Pencil Marks!, the county
declared an emergency to buy a used WalMart that had been
sitting empty for 4 years and then let it sit empty for 2
more years before they did anything with it.
That little adventure cost us $6 million dollars and
you Commish Boys could find the money then, you political
Yep, I’m angry enough to eat red ants and spit
there’s any Republicans who drop by here, which I hope
there’s not but Republicans have been known to be drunk or
lost, I have a question for you.
How come American juries can be trusted with
decisions of life and death, but cannot be trusted with
decision of punitive damages?
The Supremes (in a 4-5- decision) overturned
a jury’s decision about punitive damages today. It’s
being touted as a boon for big business. Just what the
tobacco industry needs – more money.
WASHINGTON - The Supreme Court threw out a $79.5 million
punitive damages award to a smoker’s widow Tuesday, a
boon to businesses seeking stricter limits on big-dollar
The 5-4 ruling was a victory for Altria Group Inc.’s Philip
Morris USA, which contested an Oregon Supreme Court
decision upholding the verdict.
Remember how tort reform was going to lower all our
insurance rates significantly? If you’ve been holding
your breath for that one, you’re in trouble.
Punitive damages are just that – meant to punish a
company for negligent behavior or for making claims they
knew were false.
Example: the Peter Pan peanut butter people knew
since August that the peanut butter was contaminated.
But, nobody died, so it made better business sense to let
people get sick than to pay for a recall. I was mad
enough to eat nails when I heard that!
So, we can’t trust juries to decide punishment for a
corporation, but we can trust them to decide punishment
Republicans – they’re not just for starting
unnecessary wars anymore.
February 19 -
always say, Tom DeLay is the gift that just keeps on
You know the
guy arrested last week for sending over $150,000 to
terrorist training camps in Afghanistan and Pakistan?
And he’s also a big Republican hotshot and political
His CV lists US National Republican Senate Inner
Circle Member for Life, US National Republican
Congressional Committee NYS Businessman of the Year- 2003,
and NRCC’s appointed US President’s USNRCC White House
Business Advisory Committee, among other Republican
It’s that White House Business Advisory Committee
that caught my attention.
That was one of
Tom DeLay’s scams. He had folks called up people and
play them a recording of Tom DeLay saying they had won an
award. Only late in the call did the “winner” learn that
the award was going to cost him $2,500 or so.
However, there’s a sucker born every minute, which
also explains why there’s so many Republicans, and people
fell for this scam. They sent their money to Tom and he
sent them a real nice $1.99 certificate. However,
a lot of the contributions were illegal because they
were bought by foreign nationals.
Tom taught the RNC this trick, and now it’s come back
to bite them on the hiney.
has confirmed that Alishtari is a donor to the
Republican Party, as he claims on his curriculum vitae.
Alishtari gave $15,500 to the National Republican
Campaign Committee between 2002 and 2004, according to
Federal Election Commission records. That amount
includes $13,000 in 2003, a year when he claims to have
been named NRCC New York State Businessman of the Year.
Aren't you glad you didn't go to the
Lincoln Day Dinner? No telling how many
terrorists were there!
February 19 -
Okay, can you even imagine what Bill O’Reilly’s or Rush
Limbaugh’s head would look like if
this had happened under the Clinton administration?
All but one of the U.S. attorneys recently fired by the
Justice Department had positive job reviews before they
were dismissed, but many ran into political trouble with
Washington over issues ranging from immigration to the
death penalty, according to prosecutors, congressional
aides and others familiar with the cases.
months after the firings first began to make waves on
Capitol Hill, it has also become clear that most of the
prosecutors were overseeing significant
public-corruption investigations at the time they were
asked to leave. Four of the probes target Republican
politicians or their supporters, prosecutors and other
I mean, we’d be cleaning O’Reilly spit off the teevee
screens in all twenty states and more than a hundred
insane asylums. I hear that O’Reilly is big at insane
And speaking of which, if Clinton had done this, Rush
Limbaugh would have gotten so excited that he could have
skipped his medications for that day. Okay, so maybe
that’s a little much. Rush needs his meds.
Have we checked to make sure Nixon really is dead? I
mean, what if he’s still alive and just bought a Bush
February 19 -
Well, you know how I get when the weather turns nice. I
start thinking baseball and I’m totally useless until
My friend Thomas, who also loves physics and
baseball, sent me something to keep me entertained until
spring training – the
gyroball. It’s Bigfoot, Anna Nichol, and the Scooter
Libby trial rolled into one!
According to Himeno, a gyroball will head toward home
plate looking like a fastball before breaking straight
down as it crosses the plate. He described to me a pitch
that would work differently than a traditional breaking
pitch, spinning, as best I could understand it, more
like a Tom Brady spiral than a Curt Schilling splitter.
So what causes the break? ``Simply gravity and the drag
force caused by the ball itself," Himeno says.
I’m going to pass along to you some really cool
information about the gyroball that Thomas found. My bet
is that even if it does exist, it’s the new screwball - an
arm-killer. Or, it could be hype for the American debut
of a Japanese ballplayer. But, I’ve been wrong before.
Here’s an article about it, along with a great graphic
to help you understand what it is. And there’s some You
February 19 - Happy
President's Day! Can we get rid of this one?
Okay, so Junior’s
lunchbox was not any safer than his peanut butter
2005, when government scientists tested 60 soft, vinyl
lunchboxes, they found that one in five contained
amounts of lead that medical experts consider unsafe --
and several had more than 10 times hazardous levels.
that's not what they told the public.
Instead, the Consumer Product Safety Commission released
a statement that they found "no instances of hazardous
levels." And they refused to release their actual test
results, citing regulations that protect manufacturers
from having their information released to the public.
Hey, we gotta get these jerks out of power before they
kill us all.
Listen up, Republicans: here’s something we need
government for – insuring the safety of our food and our
children’s lunchboxes from unscrupulous corporations.
It’s like smokin’ a cigar in a fireworks factory to
let these guys be in charge of anything.
February 17 -
What the fool tarnation is happening to
food supply? I know the Republicans want to do
away with the FDA, but even Republican children eat peanut
butter and cantaloupes.
The Dole Fresh Fruit Co.
recalled several thousand cartons of imported
cantaloupes today after the fruit tested positive for
The recall, which covers the eastern United States and
the Canadian province of Quebec, is the second sparked
by salmonella fears this week.
I guess I'm gonna have to live on a diet of weeds and
fresh fire ants - the only thing that grows in my
February 17 -
we are in what is assumed to be the conservative
stronghold of America. It’s Tom DeLay’s old district, for
Yet all three of the Congressmen from Fort Bend
County – Al Green, Nick Lampson, and Ron Paul – voted
against the President and his war.
Take that to your Lincoln Day Dinner and chew on it,
February 17 - Breaking
News! Saddam Hussein is still dead.
Somebody needs to tell Jeff Session, Republican Senator
Sessions, who thankfully is not from Texas, gave a
speech on the Senate floor saying we did not start this
war over weapons of mass destruction or anything Bush told
Here's the deal according to Sessions: We invaded
Iraq to prevent Saddam Hussein from being able to say that
he'd won the 1991 Gulf War.
He said that.
Thank God for Alabama! They make John Cornyn look
- Oh dear, nasty Brent Wilkes
and his partying ways move
closer to Tom DeLay this morning.
It looks like Republican Congressman John Doolittle is
the next to go down and he's one degree of separation from
Doolittle said in an
earlier interview that he befriended Wilkes though Ed
Buckham, a former staff member for then-Rep. Tom DeLay
who became a lobbyist for the Alexandria Strategy Group
and was a close associate of convicted lobbyist Jack
Abramoff. Doolittle also has described Abramoff as a
In April 2005, Wilkes'
corporate jet was used to fly DeLay to Las Vegas for a
fundraiser at the Venetian Resort Hotel Casino for
Doolittle's PAC, the Superior California Federal
Tom's gotta be clipping coupons for lawyers.
February 16 - Damn,
I love Texas.
Right now in our State Lege: the theory of
evolution is a Jewish conspiracy, and the theory of
gravity is a feminist plot to the keep fluffy white men
the first half is front page news. The second
half, not so much, at least for now.
AUSTIN – The second most
powerful member of the Texas House has circulated a
Georgia lawmaker's call for a broad assault on teaching
Committee Chairman Warren Chisum, R-Pampa, used House
operations Tuesday to deliver a memo from Georgia state
Rep. Ben Bridges.
The memo assails what it
calls "the evolution monopoly in the schools."
Mr. Bridges' memo claims
that teaching evolution amounts to indoctrinating
students in an ancient Jewish sect's beliefs.
"Indisputable evidence –
long hidden but now available to everyone – demonstrates
conclusively that so-called 'secular evolution science'
is the Big Bang, 15-billion-year, alternate 'creation
scenario' of the Pharisee Religion," writes Mr. Bridges,
a Republican from Cleveland, Ga.
You know, when your state lege starts talkin' that
Pharisees talk, you're in for a thrilling session!
This bill alone is Reason #478 of Why I Am a Democrat.
This is living proof
that there are two species of humans on this planet.
homo sapiens and homo nonsapiens.
Guess which one Chisum belongs to?
On March 2nd, they are having a symposium
on the Texas redistricting law in Austin at UT. Hook ‘Um.
Take a look at this ----
10:50 am. Panel 2: The 2002 Election Campaign and the
Chair: Professor George Dix, George R. Killam Jr. Chair
of Criminal Law (University of Texas)
Defense Attorneys Dick DeGuerin, Roy Minton, and J.D.
Travis County District
Attorney Ronnie Earle.
Here’s information on the
Bickerstaff Book (PDF format)
Ronnie Earle take on all three of them is just too much
fun to miss.
- Even with all the
GOPper infighting here, Sugar Land Mayor David Wallace
still thinks he's running for congress. According to
(subscription only) yesterday.
Mayor David Wallace (R) has decided against running
for re-election next year, fueling speculation that he
instead will run for the Republican nomination in the
22nd district and the right to challenge Rep. Nick
Lampson (D) in 2008.
In an interview late
last week, Wallace said he expected to announce his
2008 intentions within the next 60 days, and sounded
very much like he plans to throw his hat into the
“I feel I could do a
good job in representing the people of the 22nd
district,” Wallace said.
No mention by Wallace that he could get Bob Perry to spend
a whole mess of money to defeat him, thereby helping
Also in the article was something I hadn't heard.
In the category of
potential candidates unlikely to run is longtime
Channel 11 sports anchor Gifford Nielsen, a former
Houston Oilers quarterback.
Nielsen admitted to
thinking about running for Congress on occasion, but
said he is happy in his job and giving virtually no
consideration to a 2008 run in the 22nd district.
“I can’t say I haven’t
thought about it, but I have never pursued it,”
Nielsen said late last week when reached on his cell
Gifford Nielsen? No, really? My goodness,
hasn't Dan Patrick embarrassed Republicans enough?
You want another media personality?
February 15 - More
Just when you think you'll run out of
examples of Republicans in love, along comes ---
SANIBEL, Fla. - A former Pennsylvania congressman was
accused Wednesday of exposing himself to two women at a
Joseph M. McDade, 75, was
issued a summons on a charge of exposure of sexual
organs, a misdemeanor that carries up to a year in jail
and a $1,000 fine.
Thanks to Deb for the heads-up.
DeLay is getting his name in the news again. It’s not
pretty. Brent Wilkes, of buying hookers for Cunningham
fame, was also a dear friend of Tom DeLay.
Tom DeLay was a frequent flyer on Brent Wilkes's
corporate jet - the same jet that Wilkes used to bribe
During one weekend campaign swing in July 2003, DeLay
used at least a quarter of Group W's 50-hour annual
allotment on the jet. DeLay
flew the Group W jet from Dulles Airport in Washington,
D.C., to John Wayne Airport in Orange County to appear
at a campaign dinner for Rep. Dana Rohrabacher,
R-Huntington Beach. When the dinner was over, DeLay flew
from Orange County to Seattle, where he appeared at a
campaign event for then-Rep. Jennifer Dunn. Once that
event ended, DeLay used the Group W jet to fly back to
The DeLay, Rohrabacher and Dunn campaigns, which
jointly funded the trip, paid Group W a total of $3,057
-- about what DeLay would have paid for a single hour on
the jet, if he were paying for it on his own.
DeLay's spokeswoman, Shannon Flaherty, declined to
answer questions regarding the Group W flight. "He has a
lot of other things on his mind these days," she said.
No mention of Wilkes also providing in-flight
entertainment. But the Wilkes/Michael indictment
indicates the in-flight meals on Wilkes's corporate jet
were quite nice.
And there’s even more evidence that
Jack Abramoff wasn’t DeLay’s only friend with seedy ties.
… and $30,000 to Tom DeLay, who flew on Wilkes'
jet several times and has been a frequent golfing buddy.
Over the past three years, Wilkes' lobbying group in
Washington – Group W Advisors – also paid about $630,000
in lobbying fees to Alexander Strategy Group, a firm
headed by DeLay's former chief of staff Ed Buckham and
staffed with former DeLay employees.
The firm has a well-publicized reputation in Washington
as a conduit to DeLay's office.
"The Alexander lobbyists' sales pitch was, 'Either you
hire me or DeLay is going to screw you,' " an anonymous
source identified as a top Republican lobbyist told the
Congressional Quarterly weekly last month. "It
was not really a soft sell."
Besides donating money to DeLay's campaign, Wilkes also
has given money to a political action committee that
DeLay helped organize: Texans for a Republican Majority.
The group is under investigation for allegedly breaking
Texas law to divert corporate contributions into its
drive to redraw the state's election districts.
I did a search at tomdelay.com but there was no mention of
Mr. Wilkes. Hummm....
February 14 - More
Republican love as told by
Fort Bend Now
Sugar Land Mayor David Wallace is taking his marbles
and going home.
Outbid by Houston
homebuilder Bob Perry for the right to introduce the
keynote speaker at the 2007 Lincoln Reagan Day Dinner,
Sugar Land Mayor David Wallace has pulled out as a
sponsor of the event.
Perry, of Swiftboat fame, has bought the right to
embarrass Wallace and run the show. Republicans are like
that. If they're not messing with "Prostitute
C," they're messing with each other's money.
And as if to prove my point, lookie here at our county
commissioner's favorite deep-pocket kickback donors, PBS&J
are doing now.
It's very cute. PBS&J is using the embezzlement case
disguise tens of millions of dollars in overcharges to
state and local governments.
Engineering firm PBS&J
overcharged government clients for several years,
auditors investigating embezzlement at the company have
PBS&J has attributed some
of the millions in overbilling to three former employees
who tried to cover up a $36.6 million embezzlement. But
in filings with the Securities and Exchange Commission,
the firm also admitted to its own overbilling, although
it won't say by how much. One big client, the Florida
Department of Transportation, estimated that more than
half of the approximately $11 million it was overcharged
had nothing to do with the embezzlement.
The discovery is part of
the fallout from the investigation of a $36.6 million
embezzlement scheme that lasted about a dozen years
before it was detected in early 2005. The probe was
conducted by a team of lawyers and forensic accountants
hired by PBS&J, formerly headquartered in Miami but now
hope that Bob Hebert, Andy Meyers and Tom Stavinoha are
please with themselves for conducting county business with
such a reputable firm and then taking money from them for
Republicans - you're gonna get screwed one way or the
- As a special "Republicans in Love" Valentine's Day
Event, I present you with two pages of the indictment of
Brent Roger Wilkes, government
and close, personal friend of Duke Cummingham. Oh so
close. Oh so personal.
Republicans in Love - read
it here. Start at paragraph 102.
Underlining the good parts so you don't have to read
the whole 42 pages is just another free friendly service
we offer here.
Susan, what was the $500 tip for? Not
February 13 - More
you will have to clean up your act. It seems you will be
fined 300,000 if you let any porn linger on your site. So
you might want to see if the words fluffy white and boy
are on the list!
worry. I have installed a porn warning system. It’s
called Momma 2.0
there is ever porn on my website, Momma would call me
within two minutes and say in a very loud voice, “You were
not raised like that!” At which point I reply, “No,
Momma, I wasn’t, but I’m getting over it as soon as I
can.” Momma calls this “sass.”
way, Momma 2.0 is shareware. Everybody can get it.
- From the
the Baytown P.D. has a sense of humor, and that's a good
SUMMARY: CASE SYNOPSIS. ON FEBRUARY 4, 2007 THE MANAGER
OF A FAST-FOOD RESTAURANT LOCATED IN THE 7000 BLOCK OF
GARTH ROAD, REPORTED THE RONALD MCDONALD LOCATED ON THE
PLAYGROUND HAD BEEN STOLEN. RONALD WAS DESCRIBED AS
HAVING A WHITE FACE, RED HAIR, RED NOSE, AND A RED
MOUTH. THE MANAGER ALSO STATED RONALD WAS APPROXIMATELY
6'00" TALL AND WAS WEARING A RED, YELLOW, AND WHITE
OUTFIT WITH BIG, RED SHOES. CASE CURRENTLY UNDER
INVESTIGATION. END OF SYNOPSIS.
February 12 -
Kathy let us know that Dan Burton, the California
missed 19 votes to play in a golf tournament in
January, is attempting to make amends to his
constituents. However, he doesn’t do it too well.
blames it on the Democrats, of course.
told talk show host Greg Garrison that he made
reservations to play in the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic
when Republicans were still in control of the House.
Democrats took control, he did not expect them to
schedule votes so early in the month. "I probably made a
mistake," he said.
I knew it was Nancy Pelosi’s fault. First she makes
them work five days a week, then she makes them work in
January. The woman is just unreasonable.
As a former Hoosier, I am sorry to say that Rep.
Dan Burton is from Indiana, not California.
On the good side, at least this means that Texas
doesn’t produce all of the idiots in Congress.
February 12 -
just heard that Tom “No Shame” DeLay left his home in
Virginia to come to Texas last weekend.
He attended the
Junior Service League’s Fire and Ice Ball at Safari Texas.
Of course, what with ARMPAC still being broke and his own
political funds being spent on a team of
and computer scrubbers, Tom didn’t buy a table or
spend any money. He sat at Bob Brown’s table. I guess he
was the Ice part.
The story going around is that he “came late, left
early, and didn’t spend a dime.” Hey,
making money at $52 a pop is hard work, even if you
don’t write your blog yourself.
February 12 - Email
First they give themselves OUTRAGEOUS pay raises and then
It is (or should be) SHOCKING that FBC Commissioners
outsourced part-time employment (increasing part-timers'
hourly rate 23% for employees originally hired by the
county, but 33% for replacement of all who fled) to a
company so unprofessional as to
publish such a grammatically-errant and typo-riddled job
posting; for the LIBRARY, no less. I do not imagine a
free website attracts the best candidates, either.
this was not a one-time deal either.
I generally discourage people from using the terms FBC
Commissioners and shocking in the same sentence, but I
think you’ve hit on something.
I have another problem with this whole deal. Let’s
see, for the library job you have to have a high school
and two years college. You have to be able to type, use
the internet, and operate a database. You have to have
good communication skills and interact easily with staff
and public. The job also requires heavy lifting. It pays
$8.75 an hour.
Criminy, Annie, our Commissioners wouldn’t be qualified
for this job and they make $50 an hour even if you assume
they work a 40 hours work week, which they don’t.
Heavy lifting. Ha! Interact easily with staff and the
public. Double ha! Good communication skills? Har
Shocking? Only to sane folks.
Just to clarify:
addition to the hourly wage paid to the contract
worker, we the taxpayers also pay the staffing
agency 33% (the percentage may have increased
since originally negotiated) of that worker's pay
each-and-every hour/day/week/month/year. It’s not
like the County paid part-timers any benefits of
any kind, so why pay an agency?
Seeing the agency's employment postings, it seems
they do not require even minimal professionalism
from their own staff. It doesn’t seem that they
are competent enough to vet and hire people for
wonder if anyone listed on our commissioners’
campaign reports runs that Houston agency.
a few updates from the weekend:
Thank you, Dixie Chicks, for reminding folks that Texas
women don’t back down. You've done us proud.
And, our friend
Steve went camping this weekend. With a blender.
He did, however, bring back some great pictures.
friend Dr. Doyle and I have been speculating today on
this enormous news story that is coming in under the
radar due to the even more enormous story of
Artist hopes to float
giant banana over Texas
Montreal artist wants to construct an enormous banana
that would float over Texas, but critics say the project
isn't worth government funding.
Cesar Saez conceived the project, called "Geostationary
Banana Over Texas," and prefers to let the art speak for
asked why he would want a helium-inflated 300-metre
banana to hover above Texas for a month, he simply told
CTV Montreal: "Texas is as symbolic as the banana."
You knew it was just a matter of time.
Of course Dr. Doyle, being aware of my world-famous
figuring abilities, wanted to know what I thought of
this. My first gut reaction is that it’s a
Trojan Horse filled with socialized medicine from
Canada. I don’t trust those Canadians. They like snow.
There’s something real wrong with that.
Either that or it’s a Trojan Horse
from Canada filled with peace. Or ideas. Or a real
Governor. Or any number of things that we’re doing
perfectly well without in Texas.
How ‘bout this? They’re just waiting for us to get
out the piñata sticks to find out what’s in that banana
and – bam! – next thing you know, we’ve got a sudden urge
to play sand hockey out in West Texas.
Anyhow you look at it, a floating banana could not be
a good thing.
Dr. Doyle, who is, after all, a doctor, says,
“Actually, I think probably Canada is trying to cut off
the sunlight to a large, banana-shaped patch of our Texas
farmlands. Clearly this is an act of war. And isn't
the symbol of Islam a crescent?!! Obviously we
should invade Iran.”
Yep. That’s it.
One more thing.
Y'know, it could be downright handy to have a
banana floating in our sky. If Jesus comes back soon
enough, we can say "Jesus, that's not a banana;
we're just happy to see you."
Dr. Doyle in Nacogdoches
February 9 -
know this is going to come as a big shock to everybody,
but Governor Rick Perry picked
another fluffly white boy to be the new District Court
Judge. There were two far more qualified female
candidates in the running, until, of course, it was
revealed that they both were … well, you know, female.
Okay, let’s look at the diversity in our District
Court judges here. They are all Republicans but, boy
howdy!, the alikeness ends there. We have a short old
white guy, a tall old white guy, a crazy old white guy, a
stupid old white guy, a bald old white guy, and now an old
white guy. That’s Republican diversity.
Can I get you boys some coffee or something?
February 9 -
Every now and then, I get a question in the email box.
Please go to the GOP dinner! You promised us a chart
explaining the different types of Fort Bend Republicans
based on hairstyles awhile back. This would be an
excellent opportunity to gather evidence.
no can do. First off, I can’t drink that much kool-aid.
Second off, I do not want my obituary to say, “innocent
bystander in a vicious eruption between Checkbook
Republicans and Bible Republicans.” I do not want
“innocent bystander” anywhere in my obituary. When I die,
I want to be real sick or doing something worth dying
for. Getting crushed between some greedy old fart and
some wild-eyed religious nut leaves a bad legacy.
off, I have been told that this is becoming an ego battle
between David Wallace and the Perry Family (as in Bob and
Will). My money is on the Perrys because they have a
whole generation on Wallace of doing this stuff. However,
Wallace wins the pretty category. There is doubt, however,
that the ballroom will hold all the egos, especially if
Bob Hebert insists on showing up.
off, what if Tom DeLay shows up in diapers carrying a wig
a 4 inch knife looking for Shelley Sekula Gibbs? It could
happen, my friend.
off, what if Jesus comes that very night and finds me with
a bunch of greedy people and people who have been using
his name is sell their hateful ideas? Have you thought
off, karma, dude.
I will, however, be at
event honoring a true American hero.
February 8 -
Okay, so I'm sure I'm the fiftieth person to tell you
about this, but
you probably need to listen again. Folk Songs of
the Far Right. Heads-up, it's loud so don't peek
while you're at work at the sheriff's department!
February 7 -
got an email this morning from “former Congresswoman”
Shelley Sekula Gibbs. She says that I’m “a valuable
member of the community,” and she wants me to attend the
local GOP Lincoln Day Dinner.
To be honest, I’m highly tempted to go just to see if a
hair-pulling fight breaks out. Odds are pretty good that
somebody is gonna get shoved before the night is over, and
I’d love to see that.
See, I think there’s trouble already brewing right
here. The invitation announces --
Communication Sponsors: Former Congresswoman Shelley
Sekula Gibbs, M.D., Commissioner Andy Meyers, and the
Republican Party Fort Bend County
Back during the election, Commissioner Andy and Shelley
were tighter than skin on a sausage. At the time, I said
that Andy followed her around so much that if she stopped
suddenly, Andy could be in violation of the state’s sodamy
laws. That situation doesn’t seem to have improved.
The downside to this whole thing, however, is that
their guest speakers get a little higher on the totem pole
of reality every year. They are just one election away
from throwing a love fest for Ann Coulter. This year,
Fred Barnes. I can’t say enough about Barnes and
he thinks about the Republicans in Fort Bend County:
this is a suburban Houston, Texas, district. I mean, who
do you think lives there? Pointy-headed intellectuals
from Ivy League colleges? No. There's a bunch of -- it's
a working-class district, suburban middle-class and
working-class district that's very, very Republican, you
Working class? The current 22nd District has the
second-highest median household income in the state.
However, Barnes did get the pointy-head intellectual
thing right. (Note to Fred Barnes: these are
Republicans. You have to talk very sloooowly.)
You have GOT to go to that dinner. See if you
can get press credentials and interview
Freakin' Freddie. Ask him about his comments
and then ask him if he even knows anything
about any place outside of DC. An interview
with Shelley would be good for laughs. If you
decide to go and do the interviews post it on
the website and we can send you our
questions. OOHh I've got one..ask Freddie
why he's so jumpy on tv that he's got to put
his hands under his armpits to keep them from
flying all over the place.
Susan - I'll buy you
a ticket to the dinner if you'll go and take
pictures. Just think----- you won't be the
most hated woman in the room. They hate each
other far more.
February 7 -
Well see, I told you so. Right off the bat,
the new political website has a dandy article about
our own Bob Perry and John "For Rent" McCain.
It appears that McCain can't make up his mind whether
he's for campaign finance reform or not. Seeing a
politician claim to be for reform is like watching a lion
claim he's a vegetarian. I don't trust either one.
Sen. John McCain, who is
pushing a bill for a federal crackdown on independent
"527" political groups, has accepted campaign money from
the prime financier of an independent group McCain
accused of "dishonest and dishonorable" tactics in the
2004 presidential race.
The $4,200 contribution
came from Bob Perry, the Texas homebuilder who was the
biggest donor to Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, which
aired television attack ads that wounded Democrat John
Kerry's presidential bid.
let's get this straight right now. Money is not free
speech. If it was, I'd have to whisper and Bob Perry
would get a megaphone. That ain't America.
February 6 -
There's a new political website with the promise of good
things. It's called, aptly enough,
Right off the bat, first thing, el primero, there's
Tom DeLay wanting to shut off the C-Span lights.
guess so - That way there
would be no evidence of Members being physically
threatened to get their vote on Medicare. What a
And then listen to this whine ---
When Congress is in
session, reporters clog the hallways like cholesterol;
they practically mug legislators walking out of their
offices, and often shove cameras and microphones in
people's faces without the least courtesy.
If ya can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen.
Oh, yeah. I forgot. He already did that.
He's a surrender monkey.
February 6 -
Hallelujah! I can feel the love of my Christian brothers.
Errr.... and sisters!
In the most remarkable recovery in history, the Rev.
Ted Haggart is pronounced cured of his homosexuality
and immediately asked to leave town.
One of four ministers who
oversaw three weeks of intensive counseling for the
Rev. Ted Haggard said the disgraced minister emerged
convinced that he is ''completely heterosexual.''
and then ....
Another oversight board
member, the Rev. Mike Ware of Westminster, said the
group recommended the move out of town and the
It was also the
oversight board that strongly urged Haggard to go into
Secular work? As in, "anywhere but here, anyway
but with us?"
Why, that's just real Christian of them, ain't it?
I'm taking two to one odds that they're fighting over
the Haggart loot.
February 6 -
Apparently, Republicans haven't learned anything
from Tom DeLay and Jack Abramoff
danger of golf:
Rep. Dan Burton skipped 19 House votes, including
measures to reduce college costs and cut oil industry
tax breaks, so he could play in a golf tournament last
month in Palm Springs, Calif.
Burton also missed hearings on Iraq and North Korea to play in the
Bob Hope Chrysler Classic, which pairs top golfers with
politicians and celebrities such as actor and director
Dan Burton is
one of those people who never learn. Check out
the entire article for the tricky way he's paying to
That worthless piece of doodoo Dan Burton is the
same fool that was shooting watermelons in his
backyard near Indianapolis to prove that Vince
Foster did not commit suicide. At the time he must
have been addicted to CSI...or angel dust
..whatever. They even wrote a little song about the
February 6 -
Okay, so it’s Hillary time again. Apparently, Hillary
Clinton has a magic wand she can wave and cause people to
Last week, we saw
Sugar Land Mayor David Wallace sell his soul
(literally) to keep Hillary Clinton from being President.
I commented at the time that Hillary wasn’t my first
choice for the Democratic nominee but you have to give
Hillary her due – I admire a woman who can crumble people
Well, now Hillary has brought shame on the Fort Bend
County Sheriff’s Department. Okay, so I admit that’s not
hard to do, but Hillary did it from 1,200 miles away.
Terriann Carlson, the public information officer for
the sheriff’s department, sent out an email to every
living and breathing news media source in the greater
Houston area. The email consisted of a Power Point
presentation demonstrating the use of “digital editing.”
The first slide was a pretty woman. The second slide
was the same picture but the woman’s skin had been
airbrushed and her hair was improved. This routine went
on for several slides. The last one was of a horse’s
patoot and the improvement was Hillary. You’ve seen it a
million times – it’s been going around for about 2 years,
which, of course, is the average time it takes for the
sheriff’s department to discover anything.
Ten minutes later, another desperate email goes out
from Terriann. This one says, “I am truly sorry for that
unprofessional mistake. That was sent by error and I
apologize if I offended anyone. Please accept my sincere
Offended? Nah, I’m not offended. I think it’s delightful
that the sheriff’s department Public Information Officer
and Crime Victim Liaison Coordinator has time to be
fooling around on a county computer, entertaining her
friends with bad things about Hillary.
I’m gonna send Hillary an email with a list of the
other people around here that I want her to embarrass.
February 4 - Oh,
holy blessed mother of chunky peanut butter with
a damn cherry on top!
The newspaper didn't print the whole interview with
Dick Armey about Tom DeLay. Armey's complete
interview slaps ole Tom. Last time I heard talk like
this, hair pullin' started and Lana Sue whacked Bettyjean
so hard that her grandchildren were born shaking!
Yes, my friends - you knew from looking at those two
wimpy guys that it would come to this.
It's a catfight!
Q. Why don’t you like
him [Tom DeLay]?
A. I don’t like sneaky,
conniving people. I don’t like people who get behind
closed doors and contrive against other people. (He) has
had -- what’s the word I want? -- an aggressive tendency
to create the opportunity to do back-door,
behind-the-door, closed-door, dark-room contrivances
against people. I just consider that unacceptable.
I'm just saying right here, right now, that if Tom DeLay
came over here and wizzed in my swimming pool the night I
after I called him as worthless as cornflake recipes, I'm
gonna send him the bill for cleaning it.
See all those
words Dick Armey used to describe Tom? I can
describe Tom in three words: poopie del pollo.
February 4 -
Oh, holy blessed mother of chunky peanut butter, Dick Armey is
finally telling the truth!
today’s Fort Worth Star Telegram, former Texas
Congressvarmint Armey, who we thought was Tom DeLay’s best
friend, goes off all over Tom’s little pointy head ---
Not a good person? Not a good person? Oh, what will
we tell the children? Tom DeLay is not a good person?
Think of all the broken hearts over that one, Dick!
Q. Did Tom DeLay become a liability to the party?
Oh, yeah. I'm amazed at the number of people who tell me
this. I have my own understandings and feelings about
Tom DeLay. ... I don't believe he's a good person, and I
don't believe he ... should have been in public office.
And I noticed that Armey sure did take money from the
“not a good person.” Hey Armey, does that make you
"rental property of not a good person?"
February 4 -
Hal has a
fantastic Molly Ivins clip that kinda fits in with the
Charlie Howard story below. It's 8 minutes long and
worth every second.
And he also has a
great analysis of the required vaccine for every sixth
grade schoolgirl in Texas.
February 3 -
Like HOT on a june bug?
Okay, I’m pretty much the expert on amusing Texas
sayings. I am. My Momma’s family has been here for seven
generations and amongst us, we’ve heard them all.
That’s how we knew that Dubya wasn’t raised here. If
he can’t spit out the whole “Fool me twice” thing while
tending the baby with one hand and playing the fiddle with
the other, then he ain’t Texan.
Neither is our State Representative, Charlie Howard.
Now, I don’t know where you stand on the mandatory
vaccinating of Texas schoolgirls. There appears to be
several sides to this issue.
I am very worried about Charlie Howard’s side.
Charlie is a overly cheerful and zealous member of the far
District 26 State Rep. Charlie Howard was caught off
guard and is upset about Gov. Rick Perry’s Friday
executive order requiring 11 and 12-year-old girls
in public schools to get vaccinations against a virus
that can cause cervical cancer.
going to be leading the charge against it,” Howard said
on Saturday. “I’m going to be talking to a whole bunch
of conservatives in the next 48 hours.
going to be on this like hot on a june bug.”
Hot on a june bug? I have never heard the phrase
“like hot on a june bug.” Never. Apparently, neither has
anyone else. Run yourself a Google search on it. Nada,
I have, however, heard and used the phrase “like a
frog on a june bug.”
I guess you’d have to see how much Charlie Howard looks
like a frog to see how seriously funny this is.
Additionally, the very next paragraph is, “Howard
also fears forcing 6th-grade girls to take the vaccine may
make them more likely to engage in promiscuous sex.”
Well, there it is: the s-e-x word. Which,
of course, explains Charlie's whole mix up on the "hot"
and “frog” thing. Those religious right boys
can't says anything about s-e-x with thinking h-o-t.
Thanks. Not in
the way of knowing the local sayings, being a
California transplant, the way I always heard it
was “like a duck on a June Bug”. And that makes
sense to me. I can picture ducks feasting on June
Bugs because I once witnessed my dog snarfling
them up under my back porch light. But this was in
March, not June. I was mystified by “hot on a June
Bug”. Yeah, it’s hot in June, but . . . eh?
Maybe he should
have stuck to “white on rice”.
appropriately, “like stink on s_ _ _ “.
February 2 -
Sugar Land Mayor David Wallace is a practical man. He
believes in doing what it takes to win, even if that means
becoming a whore.
Take this, for example. David Wallace, who claims to
be a Bible Beater and a far rightwinger when it comes to
social issues, is supporting Rudy
Giuliani for President.
Now, why would David Wallace support a guy who’s
control, supports choice and gay marriage, and who puts
Bill Clinton to shame in the skirt chasing department?
Because of …. wooo, woooo, scary music, woo …… Hillary.
At least that's what Mayor Wallace says.
Sugar Land Mayor David Wallace, who calls himself "a
strong hard right wing when it comes to social issues"
and who was a host of the Giuliani event in Houston,
said many conservatives will back the former New York
mayor for pragmatic reasons. He noted that polls show
that Giuliani has wide support and could beat leading
Democratic contender, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton.
think that Rudy Giuliani appeals to a broader universe
of people throughout the United States," he said.
Hillary is not my first choice for President and not even
my second or third choice, but you gotta admire what she
can do to fluffy white boys. I mean, she can turn them
into street sluts faster than a bullet with legs. You
gotta stand and applaud that about her.
I suspect that Mayor Wallace knows he’s a no-go on
seeking the Congressional seat in 2 years since
hacking-off Republican mega-donor Bob Perry and his son
For you out of staters, there’s a commercial here in
Texas featuring some cowboys who have just been given
salsa from New York City. The end line is “New York
City? Get a rope.”
So Mayor Wallace better stay clear of trees for a
while because I know some ole Republican boys around here
who carry a rope.
February 2 -
you to do something for me. I’m fixing to start a project
and I won’t have as much time as I’d like to nose in other
I need y’all to start attending the local
governmental meetings and report back to me what they’re
doing. I’ll publish it here for everybody to see. And
just to make it easier for you, I’ve got a handy checklist
for you to take. Just circle the right answer, send it to
me, and I’ll take it from there.
Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.
GRAB A PENCIL AND REPORT BACK ON YOUR
CITY COUNCIL, SCHOOL BOARD OR
1. The reason you picked this meeting:
A. My child got an award.
B. My wife got an award.
C. I was hoping to get an award.
D. My taxes are too high.
2. What was the predominate bumper sticker in the parking
A. Eat More Rice
B. Honk Like Hell if You Love Jesus
C. Guns Don't Kill People, I Do
D. Free the Tom DeLay One!
3. The most disturbing thing you discovered by attending
A. The Christian Coalition is serious about this
stuff. They ain’t joking around. It scares the hell
B. They ran the entire meeting in Portuguese so “the
enemy” wouldn’t find out what they were doing.
C. They have a dedicated phone line to the Psychic
Friends Network listed under "Consultant."
E. The Motto on the Official Seal of the City is
"Nobody Told Me."
4. What factors influenced your choice of this
particular meeting to attend?
A. The neon sign out front that said, "Skul Bored
B. The persistent rumor that Needville City Council
was finally going to come clean about their role in that
whole Area 51 Alien landing thing.
C. Cleaner than the bus station for sleeping.
D. They were discussing the only issues that really
matter - the dress code or cheerleaders.
5. The most important thing accomplished at this meeting
A. They declared Bob Hebert’s ego the Ninth Wonder
of the World.
B. Commissioner Andy Meyers got to blame everything
on everybody else.
C. They temporarily forestalled military action
against Iran for making fun of big hair.
D. They gave Milton Wright more take home cars for
his “Uncle Miltie’s Used Cars and Home Invasion School.”
6. If any member of the public spoke to this session,
what was the elected officials' reaction?
A. Made faces, hoping to win the perennial favorite
government competition: “Bet I Can Make You Laugh First.”
B. Kept asking, "Are you the ones out to destroy
C. Hands out, palms up.
D. Go to the restroom, get cookies, and check the
7. Were any proclamations issued at this meeting?
A. No, they couldn't pronounce that "proclamation"
B. Yes, to a civil servant who got a proclamation
instead of a living wage.
C. No, but they did refer several things to the Ad
Hoc Committee of Ad Infinitum Proclamations, Latin Words
D. Yes, to the wives' of several large campaign
contributors under the category of "Thank You For Just
8. What was the major topic of this meeting?
A. Lowering taxes, the boom, and the top floor of
B. Raising taxes, campaign contributions, and
C. Keeping the status quo, the faith, and those
really great signs that say "Prison Area, Do Not Pick Up
Hitchhikers" on the freeway.
D. I don't know. They were talking in that
9. Commissioner's Court Only: Commissioners appeared
A. Almost sober.
B. Amazingly lifelike.
C. With their attorneys.
D. To all be royally hacked-off at Andy Meyers.
10. The guy sitting next to you said __________
A. Don't tell anybody you saw me here. My wife
thinks I'm shooting pool.
B. Buddy, can you spare $5.00 for a cup of
C. You have the right to remain silent, anything you
D. Do YOU speak Portuguese?
February 1 - Lookie
lookie, they erected a billboard in North Carolina
honoring State Rep. Charlie Howard and
Poor guys. If they lived in North
they couldn't even go to church. Or they'sdbe
there every day, I don't know which.
February 1 - Bless
those poor suckers who gave Tom DeLay money to be
re-elected after he'd already secretly decided to resign.
Tom, the bait-and-switch artist,
used $450,000 of that money to pay lawyers. Tom has a
lot of lawyers. Innocent people generally need one
good lawyer, but for some reason Tom and OJ need a herd of
And then to add a little intrigue, Tom's Year-End
Report shows that he paid $15,000 to the firm of
Stroz, Friedberg, LLC.
It's not a law firm - it’s a computer forensics firm that
conducts investigations of computer systems. Look
where you're at. Look at what you used to get here.
Uh oh. Wave hi to Tom!
I suspect that if Ronny Earle was going to Hotsy-Trotsy
websites, we'd know it by now, huh?
Was Stroz Friedberg the "outside vendor" who
scrubbed the computers in DeLay's congressional
office before Shelly Sekula-Gibbs took office:
David James, DeLay's former chief of staff, who
stayed to work for Sekula-Gibbs -- until Tuesday's
walkout -- said last night that the office
scrubbed and reconfigured by an outside vendor
the days immediately prior to her assuming
office," as House policies require.
Why was a company that is aiding Tom DeLay's defense
hired to do this and paid with campaign funds?
Shouldn't the House have hired a company to do this
- one that isn't connected to DeLay's defense?
Allowing Stroz Friedberg to do the work at DeLay's
request could be obstruction of justice.
Tom was laughing all the way to the bank. With that
fancy firm for computer forensics maybe he is trying
to force links to his site-I cant imagine people
going there voluntarily ! He is some piece of
work-nothing he does would surprise me anymore.
February 1 -
If you want to do a personal tribute to Molly Ivins, what
would please her most is if you would subscribe to her
Or, make a small or large contribution to the Molly
Ivins Fund for Investigative Reporting, which you can also
do at that site. It's overwhelmed right now, but promise
me you'll go back and do it later.
clicking right here, you can subscribe and/or donate
to the Molly Ivins Fund.
I don’t think there’s a liberal woman in Texas who doesn’t
have a Molly Ivins story. God knows we all owe her a lot,
and she got around to shaking all of our hands.
A couple of years ago, I was honored to be speaking
at the same event as Molly. It was one of those hotter
than hell Texas summer days with more humidity than a
swimming pool. The location of the event was one of those
places in Austin where everything is uphill – both ways.
Neither Molly or I was in the best of health on that
weekend but neither of us was gonna miss the chance to
speak to a mess of Democrats or be on C-SPAN. So, the
organizers of the event got a golf cart and hauled Molly
and my butt uphill when necessary, and downhill when we
just felt like it.
On one of these hauling trips, Aunt Merdene called me
on my cellphone. Aunt Merdene, who had forgotten where I
was that weekend as she was apt to do at 85 years old,
asked me, “Honey, whatcha doing?”
Me, wanting to appear far more important than I am
and knowing that Aunt Merdene votes a straight Republican
ticket, replied crisply, “Why, right this minute I’m
riding around in a golf cart with Molly Ivins.”
There was a long silence while I waited for Aunt
Merdene to absorb this moment in Texas history.
Finally, Aunt Merdene responded with a sigh and what
I'm sure was an eye roll and a foot tap, “Well, Girl. Go
ahead. Tell me. Who’s winning?”
I put my hand over the phone while I whooped, “Molly,
she wants to know who’s winning.”
Molly drawled, “Why, I am, of course.”
Molly and I made a pact to bring golf clubs next time
we spoke together so we wouldn't look like women who
needed their butts hauled around.
Molly Ivins, the Tiger Woods of laughter.
Sadly, I never met Molly but she was
like a sister in my heart. She was beautiful -
inside and out - and witty and intelligent and
every other good attribute anybody can think of.
One of a kind. You said it right when you named her
Tiger Woods of laughter. I miss her a lot!!
Marie in Springfield
By now, all of you who wish to know
will already know that our beloved Molly is gone.
Molly Ivins, one of the great
voices of sanity in an era that needs such voices
desperately, is dead at the age of 62, finally
succumbing to the cancer that she battled for more
than 6 years.
I never met Molly personally, but I
feel, as so many do, that I've lost a friend this
day. The term "speaking truth to power" must have
been invented for her, as that is what she
did every day of her life. She never backed down,
and she stood up for all of us in every word she
wrote, and she will be sorely missed. Sorely
If there is a heaven, she's there,
dudes and dudettes - looking down on the world,
and saying in her delicious Texas twang, "Don't
give up the good fight! And keep some humor about
you - it's the only thing that lets us survive
I found a Yahoo News piece on her
passing - it includes a quote from Molly, I think
from her very last column, that brought tears to
my eyes. Perhaps it will yours as well:
"We are the people
who run this country. We are the deciders. And
every single day, every single one of us needs
to step outside and take some action to help
stop this war. We need people in the streets,
banging pots and pans and demanding, 'Stop it,
RIP, Molly. You earned it.
Molly is gone.
God rest her soul. She will be greatly
missed! If SMU wants a library, let it be
in honor of Molly Ivins.
Damn, Molly Ivins has died. In her memory,
let's all us hooter toters go get the awful
Love your new format!
I am heartbroken that she lost her fight with
cancer ...she fought the Shrub so valiantly
..I wanted her to live to see him forever
banished from the American landscape ..but it
is not to be... I had a friend Ilse, a retired
German professor from the local
university...every year Every year at
Christmas or for my birthday she gave a book
by Molly ....she died a few years ago ... I
hope she and Molly are having a drink together
now ... If you get to go to a memorial service
for Molly, please do me a favor and whisper to
Molly "Thanks for all the courage you gave in
your columns ...Please go haunt the Shrub and
Thanks to you too, Susan .... you just don't
know how much your funny writing has helped
a fellow Texan,
"We are the
people who run this country. We are the
deciders. And every single day, every single
one of us needs to step outside and take some
action to help stop this war. We need people
in the streets, banging pots and pans and
demanding, 'Stop it, now!'"
- Molly Ivins
I am very sad,
but I know what will help - DO SOMETHING! To
OK. Fine. I
admit it - I belong to MoveOn.org. But, today
we are calling our senators to tell them how
we feel about Iraq.
Here's a chance
to honor Molly TODAY:
Cornyn's office at 202-224-2934 and
Hutchenson's office at 202-224-5922
Please be nice
and ask them to stop the escalation, end the
war, and bring our brave troops home now. They
have completed their mission.
PS- OK, Susan,
it's official - you're now my #1 favorite
Texas Democrat. You better not stop writin'!
Yankee Friend in Spring,
Welcome to the website formerly known as The World's Most
Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.
My name is
Susan DuQuesnay Bankston.
I live in Richmond, Texas, in heart of Tom
DeLay's old district. It's crazy here.
No, seriously, it's triple z crazzzy.
I used to be an independent voter, but that all changed when
I got to know a few local Republicans. They are meaner
than 10 acres of snakes and have the ethical compass of a
decided that they could just Kiss My Big Blue Butt.
A lot of
what I post here has to do with local politics, but you
probably have the same folks in your local government.
a blog. Blogs are way too trendy for me. I've
been doing this since 1992, so I'm used to it even if you
and I'll find a place to put it if I like it.