December 31 -
Garrison Keillor is my favorite essayist.
To give an excerpt here would be an injustice. Go
read a wordsmith at work.
Thanks to Bob Dunn for being on top of a big one.
two companies vying for the right to build the
controversial Trans Texas Corridor now plans to widen
State Highway 36 to four lanes, at its own cost, and
then charge motorists a toll to use the road.
Antonio construction company Zachry American
Infrastructure has received the blessing of Brazoria
County commissioners to pursue the project in that
county with the Texas Department of Transportation.
The Facts newspaper, Fort Bend County Judge Bob
Hebert has met with Zachry American representatives and
wrote a Dec. 18 letter to TxDOT expressing an interest
in allowing the company to expand Highway 36 and turn it
into a toll road in Fort Bend County as well.
Oh Good Lord, County Bob
Hebert will take a meeting with anyone who might give him
a kickback, er campaign contribution. The campaign
contribution and expenditure reports are due January 15th.
I'll post them here.
I sure do hope that Judge Hebert doesn't expect me to
pay a toll to get to Needville. Plus, I'm wondering
where this toll will end -- Sealy? Highway 36 goes all the
way to Abilene, but if it's all the same to you, I'll get
off in Rising Star.
I cannot believe that we're selling our roads to people
in Spain and our military to people in China. Damn
December 31 - I'm
sitting here trying to think of a logical explanation of
why the President of the United States did not attend the
funeral of Gerald Ford. Why would he not leave "the
ranchette" (any man who is scared of horses doesn't have a
damn ranch) to attend the funeral of a President - a
Republican one at that?
The best I can come up with is that he's on a two week
binge and they can't sober him up.
That, or he took a wiz on the electric fence again and
is walking kinda funny.
You are thinkin'
too hard on this one. I figure G.W. wasn't thru
in his neato
Who knows now that it is out that he has one right
there in Crawford, some Texas family that lost a
child in Iraq this week might question the use of
an armored vehicle as storm cellar by the man who
chose to be in Crawford and chose to send their
kiddos to Iraq.
Happy New Year!
December 30 - You
know how the
GOP is fighting each other in Fort Bend?
Well, the entire
State of Kansas is doing the same thing.
Republicans lost their U.S. House and Senate majorities
and 350 seats in state legislatures across the country.
The early post-election Kansas experiences show that a
recovery could be difficult because the splits inside
the party between social conservatives and moderates
will not be easily healed.
think the divide between the moderates and conservatives
is deepening rather than closing," said Kansas State
University professor Joseph Aistrup. "This type of
politics is continuing into our future, at least another
And, it seems like a similar
fight may break out in Austin over
Tom Craddick. It's pretty clear that GOP
insiders are trying to replace Craddick
with Pitts. Craddick is going to be one mad
Those crazy GOPers are going to spend all the
profits from their Lincoln Day Dinner on lawyers.
Maybe ol' Abe will rise from the dead to settle
this civil war between the Repugs. Too bad, they
all seemed like such nice people. :-)
Support the Troops!
Only 35 percent of the
military members polled this year said they approve of
the way President Bush is handling the war, while 42
percent said they disapproved. The president’s approval
rating among the military is only slightly higher than
for the population as a whole. In 2004, when his
popularity peaked, 63 percent of the military approved
of Bush’s handling of the war. While approval of the
president’s war leadership has slumped, his overall
approval remains high among the military.
Just as telling, in this
year’s poll only 41 percent of the military said the
U.S. should have gone to war in Iraq in the first place,
down from 65 percent in 2003. That closely reflects the
beliefs of the general population today — 45 percent
agreed in a recent USA Today/Gallup poll.
I know I generally stick with local politics, but if I see
one more "We support President Bush and our Troops"
yardsign, I'm getting out of my car and taking this
article to the front door with a demand, "Make up your
mind, People! One or the other. You can't have
both. Either you support Bush or the troops.
Which is it? Here, I have some leftover duct tape to
mark-out the one you don't support. Let's get
crackin'. I have lots of work to do."
And don't even get me started on young Republicans who
Here's an idea. Make copies of the Army Times
article and stick it on the windshields of people who have
both a W and a Support Our Troops sticker on their cars.
Okay, I know you people from foreign states don't know
what I'm talking about. Let me explain: You
know the 28% of people who still think Bush is a great
President? They all live in Sugar Land.
Seriously. They do.
Great idea! I am printing out copies of the
article. I'll keep some in my glove box, along
with my Car Talk (pronounced 'Cah Tawk' back in
Boston) traffic violation notices (see
here) When I see the combo W and Support
Our Troops stickers, I'll slap one on the
windshield. I may even include a piece of duct
tape...and if they are pahked lousy (likely) or
have an SUV (very likely), they'll get one of
Click and Clack's as well.
sent letters to local papers in 2005 saying that
people who had W stickers and and the "I Support
the Troops" ribbons were hypocrits. You either
support one or the other. Anyone who still has
their W sticker on should have a "Pray for our
Troops" ribbon cause God knows with him at the
helm they need all the help they can get.
December 29 -
It's still simmering, but this pot promises to boil over
with a week or two. Check out what
Bob Dunn at Fort Bend Now has uncovered about our
This is another little gift from Tom DeLay that just
keeps on giving.
December 29 -
No, no, she really said that.
No, seriously. I couldn't make this up.
Fran Townsend, Homeland Security Advisor to George W Bush,
waited until the end of the year to make the greatest
statement ever uttered from a human mouth this entire
whole year, and she saved it for CNN's Ed Henry ----
HENRY: You know, going
back to September 2001, the president said, dead or
alive, we're going to get him. Still don't have him. I
know you are saying there's successes on the war on
terror, and there have been. That's a failure.
TOWNSEND: Well, I'm not sure -- it's a success that
hasn't occurred yet. I don't know that I view that as a
Day-um, Honey. (There are times when damn needs
to be a two-syllable word and this is one of those times.)
Fran, Babe, the same could be said of Junior Janochek,
Jr. and the $8,345 he's spent not winning the lottery.
We have a Texas friend
who moved here to the foreign state of California.
She went around saying day-um for a long time
before we knew what she was talking about.
We thought it was an odd take on a Harry
Bellefonte song. Thank you for warning others
about the syllable rule.
December 29 -
Just in case you're locked-in for the bad weather tonight,
here's some entertainment friends have sent.
The Wall Street Journal lists best and worst ads for
the year. I agree with them.
does the same, but comes off as bland as .... well, as
any night there's a substitute host for Keith Obermann.
And Very Funny Ads brings a few smiles. But some
of them are a little raw for Momma, so
Momma don't click
Bush finished four points behind Flesh Eating Virus.
Okay, when only 27% of your own political party thinks
you're a hero, it's time to learn to say, "my bad."
- I am often asked if I am related to
Steve at White's Creek because I have linked to him
for so long. The answer is no, I am not. I
just think he's a good writer and an insightful guy.
Take today .....
President Bush says that
"clearing brush and riding his mountain bike" helps him
"clear his mind"...The obvious question is...."Of what?"
December 28 -
the State Representative from the Texas Association of
Business, has announced his candidacy for House Speaker as
a "compromise candidate" between Craddick and McCall.
Yeah? Compromise what?
Pitts is one of only 2 Reps with a 100% voting record
with TAB. 100% of anything scares me, and when it's
with Tom DeLay's old cronies, it scares me even more.
One of my Austin friends remarked a few minutes ago,
"We've often wondered how Pitts gets his suit on in the
morning with all those strings attached to him."
Pitts is just Craddick with strings instead of baggage.
Okay, there’s a rumor going
around that a bunch of 20 to 30-something Democratic
bloggers are going to attend the Democratic State
Executive Committee meeting in Austin next month, armed
with flyers, copies of “Crashing the Gate,” and just
slightly less attitude than Paris Hilton.
They are on a mission, by gawd. They are going to try
to help the SDEC understand them and their progressive
Good on ‘em.
It’ll be a trip down Memory Lane for a majority of
the SDEC. There was a dynamic shift in the SDEC at the
last state convention. Over 50% of them are new to the
SDEC, and this is only their second meeting.
The SDEC members I know, and I know a few of them
pretty damn well, have already read Crashing the Gate and
couple of other books, too. In spite of that, they are
waiting in grinning anticipation for the rumored visit of
I happened to overhear a couple of SDEC members – who
are damned close to being 60-somethings – grin and say,
“Hey, they’re just like us forty years ago, only they have
keyboards whereas we had megaphones.”
I applaud the bloggers for gumption. But I also
counsel them that understanding is a two-way street. You
might be asked how many SDEC meetings you personally have
attended before you decided to attend this one. You might
also consider giving the new SDEC members a chance to get
their rumps in a chair before you attempt to light a fire
under it. They may surprise you.
You might keep in mind that some of these SDEC
members were in Chicago in 1968 and had their heads
bashed. Some of them marched with Dr. King. Some of them
went to jail. Some of them went to Nam. Some burned
their bras. Some fed and clothed union members on
strike. Some of them have more passion for this Party
than you can imagine.
You did not invent progressivism. Some of these guys
were liberals when it was dangerous to be one. No, I’m
serious. Physically dangerous. You might want to thank
them for making blogging safe for you.
Maybe the new SDEC members should bring their
megaphones to be understood, too. Maybe they could teach
bloggers how to end a war, get a Voting Rights Act passed
through Congress, lower the voting age, and force a
President to resign. Blogs haven’t been as effective as
megaphones in those areas.
The gate was crashed at the state convention.
Electing Glen Maxey as chairman was not the gate –
electing a new SDEC was. You gotta watch those sly old
hippies. They may be wearing bras now and most of them
have quit saying “groovy,” but they all still want to rump
December 27 -
The Quorum Report
(subscription only) brings some good news for Texas
MONTGOMERY POLL COULD
PRESAGE SHIFT IN TEXAS VOTER ATTITUDES
tested Texans, not likely voters
In another indicator of
the shifting political climate, a poll released today by
Montgomery & Associates shows that more
Texans identify with the Democratic Party than the
In the poll, 45.1 percent
of the respondents called themselves Democrats while
42.6 percent called themselves Republicans. This marks
the first time in the poll’s three-year history that
more people identified themselves as Democrats than as
Republicans. Last year, the spread was 49.2 percent to
37.2 percent in favor of the Republicans. The year
before that, the spread was 54.7 percent to 33.9
Kronberg also reports that fewer Texans see themselves as
Independents than ever before. I guess we can thank
Kinky for that.
Heads-Up - my sources in Austin tell me to keep an
Brian McCall of Plano. It looks like it might be all
over except for delivering the bad news to Craddick.
only thing I know about McCall is that he ain't real
particular about who he gets his picture taken with.
And that he probably ain't real scared of Craddick's
December 27 -
Somebody please tell her to
hang around for the ransom money.
BERLIN (Reuters) - A
21-year-old German woman who did not feel like going to
work at a fast food restaurant sent her parents a text
message saying she had been kidnapped.
Police in the Bavarian
town of Straubing said Wednesday they had launched a
massive search throughout the region for the woman who
disappeared on December 23 but turned up unscathed the
following morning, saying the kidnapper had set her
A spokesman said the
woman was questioned over the Christmas holiday and
admitted she made up the story because she owed a
colleague 25 euros ($32.9) and did not have the money to
pay her debt. She now faces a fine of up to 1,000 euros.
You know, if Darwin was right, how come there's still many
dumb people around.
December 27 -
Congratulations, Dr. Lisa. You're getting one darned
- Just keeping
you up to date on dirty money that eventually comes out of
your pocket in the form of more expensive government
In December, the Justice Department indicted
Alaska State Rep. Tom Anderson [R] on charges that he
accepted bribes from a lobbyist representing a private
Turns out the unnamed prison company is the
Houston-based Cornell Companies.
It seems the Cornell Companies PAC has a long
contributing to members of the Texas delegation.
They also have given
a lot of money to state and local candidates in Texas.
Y'all really need to keep any eye on the prison being
built here. There's some big bucks involved and we
don't have any self-sacrificing public servants making the
December 26 -
The Dallas Morning News is doing at end of the year
countdown for Texan of the Year.
Tom DeLay got nominated, but not in a
we'll be reading about on his blog.
Aside from the Texan-in-Chief at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.,
the one Republican most responsible for this year's
calamitous GOP Election Day defeat was Tom DeLay. Though
he wasn't standing for re-election on Nov. 8, Sugar
Land's native son was the embodiment of what the
Republican Congress had become – and what the American
people decisively rejected.
Read it all. It gets better.
And then to add pounds to wide hips, it appears that
even The Conservative Union doesn't want him. (Hey,
I don't vouch for anything Bob Novak says; I just
report it - especially when he's snarling at Tom DeLay.)
In a Christmas Eve column for the Chicago Sun-Times,
conservative columnist Robert Novak claims he has heard
of potential resignations of board members at the
American Conservative Union, should former GOP Texas
Congressman Tom DeLay, who was indicted on state
campaign finance charges, be hired as a lobbyist for the
Oops. Now his homies are all down on him.
according to sources who can make a chart, his website
isn't doing all that well, either.
December 26 -
Those who have been hanging around for a while know that I
oppose concealed handguns. I think you ought to have
to wear it in a holster so everybody can see it, or do
like me and just carry your shotgun with you.
It's the concealed part that I don't like. I want
to know who's packing heat around me in the Stop-N-Go, the
elevator, the art museum, or the moving picture show.
I want to have the opportunity to stand or sit where I am
not in the crossfire. I don't think that's asking
By the way, have you ever noticed that the people who
make the concealed handgun laws will not let you carry a
handgun anywhere they might be. You cannot carry at
the courthouse or the balcony of the State Lege. I
think that defeats the whole purpose of carrying. If
we'd allow guns on the balcony overlooking the State Lege,
we'd have a helluva lot better laws.
But I digress.
What brought all this up is a real scary statistic in
Dallas Morning News this morning.
who are 55 or older are more likely to get concealed
handgun permits than those who are in their 20s, 30s and
40s, according to Texas Department of Public Safety
statistics. That falls in line with national surveys
that indicate seniors are more likely than any other age
group to be gun owners. In Texas, 42 percent of those
who have concealed handgun permits are 55 or older.
Texans who are 60 or older have about 25 percent of the
permits issued, statistics show.
You might consider that fact the next time you smart-off
to the Wal-Mart greeter or park in a handicapped zone for
just a few minutes. Old people wouldn't think twice
before they plug your tires or your kneecap.
And you've been getting on my nerves a lot lately ,
too. Might want to watch that.
Got a great website
there Lady. I am from Galveston County and Nick
Lampson was my congressman prior to the Tom Delay
debacle. Unfortunately for Tom that little mistake
also put me in his district.
When Nick came back to run against Tom DeLay that
made it a personal vendetta for me and all the
bikers in that district. We sweated blood to win
that race but victory would have been so much
sweeter had Tom DeLay stayed in the race.
I have one correction to make on your article
about the Concealed Carry Law. You can carry a
concealed handgun anywhere in the capitol you wish
to. I helped Senator Jerry Patterson with that
Bill. Don't know if you are aware but last session
I helped write and pass HB 823, giving you the
right to carry a concealed weapon in your personal
vehicle without a permit.
Politics is the best game in town once you learn
the rules and we are very good at it.
Texas Motorcycle Rights Association
- Shelley Sekula-Fibs bought me a Christmas present.
I hope you like it because she used your money to buy
She mailed me a four page, full color, no expense spared
"Report" of what she will be doing in Congress these last
I scanned the front page for you because I knew you'd
want to see it. (Click the little one to see the big
It's got nice full color pictures of her with with
Denny Hastert, Ted Poe, Kevin Brady and Michael DeBakey,
all suitable for framing.
There's also a picture of some guy in a space suit
flying around in what appears to be - uh, space. A
good working definition of irony would be that Shelley's
not in that picture.
It also has a decorative tear-off card of
important federal government phone numbers, suitable for
your refrigerator door.
I wish I could take credit for this --- I can't.
I do take comfort in knowing that there are other like
minds in this area.
And......I sure second the motion. This was in this
morning's only newspaper in town -- in Houston.
In the letters to the Editor the following:.
I nominate Shelley
Sekula-Gibbs for the "Congress Member Who Wasted
the Most Taxpayer Dollars in the Shortest Period
of Time Award."
This Republican was
elected Nov. 7 in a costly special election to
serve as District 22 congress member for the few
weeks before the new Congress is sworn in in
January. Her brief tenure includes the long
congressional holidays for Thanksgiving,
Christmas, and New Year. What a waste!
Recently, I arrived
home to find something very unpleasant in my
mailbox. I received a slick, full-color and thus
expensive, four-page newsletter " ... prepared,
published and mailed at taxpayer expense"
(according to the newsletter) describing work she
has done and causes she has supported in her brief
time in the House. I didn't know whether to laugh
at the absurdity or cry for the complete waste of
taxpayer dollars. She has not had, and will not
have, any impact on anything occurring in Congress
during her brief tenure. All these taxpayer funds
were wasted for nothing except the self-promotion
In 2008 District 22
residents will remember, or will be reminded, of
the taxpayer dollars wasted by this (expected)
JAN BAKER DABNEY
p.s. Do you
reckon she (Ms.Dabney) wrote something else in
there where it says (expected) maybe it said
(expletive) before the editing.
- Unless something big breaks, I'll see you guys after
December 22 -
Okay, so a Hill
staffer gets fired for trying to hire a hacker to break
into his college's computer system to
raise his GPA.
What school did
this paragon of virtue graduate from? Texas Christian
Guess he missed the Christian part.
December 22 - My
friend Steve over at
White's Creek sends New Year Greetings I know he won't
mind me sharing. Steve tells a good story, so treat
yourself to spending a little time there.
One of my recent favorites.
Thanks for the
And a big happy
birthday to Momma!
Does Ms. Elliot just
have a burning desire to be sued?
And the local GOPers;
bless their little, pea-pickin' hearts.
- First things first - Happy Birthday, Momma.
Momma is having her 11th annual 70th birthday party today.
She decided that her 70th birthday party was the best
ever, so she just keeps having it over and over every
year. Why tinker with a working plan?
December 21 -
This is a serious note. I just learned that Janice
Wile in the District Clerk's office has been informed that
her services will no longer be needed after December 31st.
I am acquainted with Janice because I frequent the
courthouse, and I once served on the grand jury where
Janice was in charge of carrying the indictments to the
clerk's office. I respect her highly for her
professionalism, efficiency with a smile, and honesty.
If you've ever served on a grand jury, you know Janice.
I have never heard anything but praise from the public
Her new boss, Annie Elliott, let it be known that
Janice does not have a job after December 31st.
Janice is 9 months from full retirement, having served
the county for 22 years. She has served this county
well and now she's being tossed out like rubbish. It
tells you much about Annie Elliott and the type of boss
she will be.
If there is another opening in the county where Janice
can work for 9 months, she can keep her retirement and
insurance. She will be an asset to any county
Janice Wile is a
supervisor. She insists that those she
supervises work for the taxpayers. We need a
million more like her. Thank you for
sticking up for her.
December 21 -
And the hits just keep on rollin'.
Poor GOP Party Chairman Gary Gillen is surrounded by
the Moses Rose faction. They don't want their names
revealed, they resigned when confronted, and most of them
appear to be just out walking the streets.
The treasurer of a controversial
political action committee – apparently created to
operate what has been the Fort Bend County Republican
Party’s top fund-raiser – resigned on Wednesday.
“A.D. has resigned. I replaced him as
treasurer, with me,” county GOP
Chairman Gary Gillen said on Thursday. He referred to
precinct chairman A.D. Muller, who originally served as
treasurer of Fort Bend Republican P.A.C.
The line in the sand got drawn and Gary crossed over
before looking behind himself and seeing 12 acres of
As we say in Texas, bless his heart. He sure
didn't catch no lucky.
- So Tom DeLay
is going to have
one of those pay-per-view blogs. It’s gonna cost $52
Harvey Kronberg costs $275 a year and so does
Roll Call. I guess you get what you pay for.
But, here’s my favorite part.
annual fee of $52, members are promised “insider
information” on Congress and “updates on the ways of
combating the plans of the radical left and their
associates in the left-wing media elite.”
spokeswoman for Mr. DeLay, Shannon Flaherty, said the
group was sorting hundreds of applications and would
withhold approving anyone’s membership until “we’ve
checked the references.” She said the group was
concerned that liberals would try to “infiltrate” the
Look, there’s no nice way to say this, so I’ll just say
it. Tom DeLay is a money slut. He would take the gold
out of Grandma’s teeth. He will do anything for money.
You cannot even imagine the things he’s done for a fine
dinner, a cigar, or a free airplane ride. If there was
money in going to the grocery store nakkid, he’d do that,
If I offer up $53., he’ll sell me a subscription. He
don’t care diddle squat about liberals – he cares about
Infiltrate, my patootie. References, my big blue
This is the man who tried to sell Phony Congressional
Awards to anybody with $500. I remember reading that
some porn dealer paid the $500 and got DeLay’s Award.
I swear, when gall goes to $87 a barrel, he’ll have the
Tell ya what – if there’s anybody willing to make a bet
that I won’t get a subscription within a month, I’ll take
your money from ya. And I ain’t even all that smart.
- Okay, so Jack
Abramoff's 2001 Christmas list has been revealed ....
Then-House Majority Whip
Tom DeLay (R-Tex.) was listed as the intended recipient
of a $250 box of Godiva chocolates
See, here's the deal - I thought you had to die to get
$250 box of Godiva chocolate. I thought that if you
led a good life, never hurt anybody, and didn't lie more
than necessary, that St. Peter gave you a $250 box of
Godiva chocolate when you arrived.
My friend Elizabeth says the other way you can get a
$250 box of Godiva chocolates is if your husband does
something real bad. With your bridesmaid.
Either way, you have to do something really good or
something really bad. Knowing Tom, it was not good.
December 19 -
Yeah, but what if they were really cute lesbians?
Senator Sam Brownback (R., Obsessionville) has
worked himself into a tizzy about a judicial nominee
attending a lesbian wedding. Just attending.
having a good time. Perhaps not even bringing a
Maybe the judge was just accidentally in the same room
as a lesbian wedding. It happens to me all the time.
(AP) -- Sen. Sam Brownback, who wants to champion social
conservatives in the presidential race, said Tuesday he
wants a Senate panel to re-question a judicial nominee
who attended a same-sex union ceremony.
Brownback, a Kansas
Republican, said he wants Michigan state judge Janet
Neff to testify about her role in the 2002 Massachusetts
ceremony, her legal views on same-sex unions and her
ability to be impartial if called upon to rule on such
Neff's nomination to a
federal district court is among a dozen or so now
stalled in the Senate, a logjam in part due to
Brownback's questions about Neff's attendance at a
lesbian commitment ceremony. The Senate Judiciary
Committee has already approved her nomination.
Wanna know what? I think Brownback just wants
another excuse to talk dirty. I think his questions
will have more to do with the honeymoon than the wedding.
That's my opinion, and it's a good one.
- Fred Barnes being the honored hired-gun guest
speaker at the local
Mired-In-Mess Republican Lincoln Day Dinner, was just
too much fun for Mark of
View from 22
Mark sent me this.
It was so long that I had to create a new page for it.
I think you'll have some fun reading it. Last year,
they had toe-sucking Dick Morris as their honored speaker.
I didn't think they could go downhill from there, but they
By the way, Mark is making noises about a new blog.
December 18 -
somebody's talking in the PBS&J political corruption case.
been delayed until Feb. 16 for the three former
PBS&J employees who pleaded guilty to their
roles in a $36 million embezzlement scheme at
the engineering firm.
Financial Officer W. Scott DeLoach of Aventura
and former subordinates Maria M. Garcia of
Hialeah and Rosario Licata of Davie originally
had been scheduled to be sentenced today by
senior U.S. District Judge James Lawrence King.
Our County Commissioners have to be a little bit nervous,
being as how they are Pavement Princesses when it comes to
taking money from anybody who wants a service in return.
December 18 -
Well lookie here. The Republican Party of Texas,
that bastion of self-righteousness, just entered into a
negotiated settlement with the Federal Elections
Commission to pay a $7,500 fine for Failure to Disclose
$235,000 in Contributions.
PDF format of the agreement
To add stink to this garbage,
Christopher Maska was the
treasurer of the Republican Party of Texas when the
Party's FEC reports got "unreported."
Hummm.... would that be the same Christopher Maska who
is an administrative judge, president of the Texas
Alliance for Life, and the
ethics officer of the Texas Board of Education?
Could we be that lucky in the hypocrisy department?
Ding! Ding! Ding! Yes, we have a
winner. We are, in fact, that lucky!
Maska wins a trip down Hypocrisy Lane with his
rightwing buddies and two cartons of Can-O-Fraudulence in
his favorite fragrance - Sweet Southern Sweat of
On the other hand, a $7,500 fine for not reporting
$235,000 in contributions is just the price of doing
business when you're shooting for the big prize: a
- Awww, come on, don't be a spoil sport.
They were just doing it to excite Rick Santorum.
Dog weddings called off
on grounds of cruelty
NEW DELHI, Dec 17
(Reuters Life!) - A Hindu wedding ceremony of 18 dogs
has been called off in India after hardline religious
groups and animal rights activists said it was a mockery
of the religion and cruel to the canines, a newspaper
reported on Sunday.
The event wppuld have been better than The Playboy Channel
for Rick, but noooo....
December 18 - As
if the local Republicans didn't
have enough controversy over their Lincoln Day Dinner,
it appears that their hired speaker,
Fred Barnes (yeah well, he never heard of you either)
has boogered-up on national teevee.
The sources also blasted
the Weekly Standard's Fred Barnes, who appeared on the
Dec. 14 edition of Special Report with Brit Hume,
for implying a cover-up of Johnson's health. Referring
to health updates on the senator, Barnes said, "There is
a long history of the doctors reports about politicians
from the president on down about doctor's reports being
untrue. You really have to be wary of them... I'm not
saying we -- anybody has told an untruth about Senator
Johnson, but this does happen."
Comparing Johnson's condition and updates about it to
that of Ronald Reagan and John F. Kennedy is not
"appropriate." Barnes "implying a cover-up and then
saying he's not" can "arouse suspicion" unnecessarily.
Sources are calling Barnes' insinuation "false and
irresponsible." They make clear that the attending
physician of the Capitol, Admiral John Eisold, was with
the Johnson family and the George Washington medical
team from the beginning and has remained on top of the
I'm here to promise you that this whole event is snakebit.
I wouldn't even get in the same zip code as it. I'd
be collecting 11-foot poles and a couple of life jackets.
- This time of year is usually as quiet as a worm's
heartbeat around the courthouse. Everybody pretty
much minds their P's and Q's, recovers from the election
season, and knocks-off early every day to do some
Usually in December there are more Santa elves at the
courthouse than good rumors and gossip.
Not so much this year.
Governor Rick Perry (I shiver just saying those words)
is waaaaay behind schedule to appoint our new district
court judge. As usual, the Gov decided it would be
better to let him appoint one than have the people elect
The Judge's School (attended by newly elected judges
from the November election) was last week, and locals were
hoping we'd have a judge to send to that school.
So, we continue to wait. And Lord knows from the
names being tossed around, our new judge will need a judge
school like you need ... oh, I dunno - oxygen.
According to sources, the three top names being
Jim Shoemake. They have something in common -
all three have been beaten in a GOP primary or stomped-on
by the Republican Executive Committee. So, we'll get
a backdoor judge again. Just like we got Cliff Vacek.
(Double shiver and cringe.)
The district court hears both civil and criminal
matters, but 80% of what this court hears will be
criminals cases. Only one of the three being
considered has any criminal law experience, Nina Schaefer.
Penak caused a major split in the local GOP when Dubya
appointed her to a judgeship while he was Governor.
More splitting is the last thing the local party needs
right now. Okay, so maybe a Biblical Litmus Test is
the last thing they need, but Penak would be close to
Poor Ole Shoemake came in third out of three in the GOP
primary. You gotta kinda admire a guy who goes for
You can say one thing for Rick Perry - he's not the
You'll know when I know.
December 17 -
Kettle, meet pot.
Tom DeLay recently called Martin Frost "a political
No, I'm serious.
It's in the newspapers and everything.
You might think that
the former House GOP majority leader, is taking it
pretty hard, watching his Republican majority
disintegrate in Congress, seeing his Houston-area seat
go to a Democrat and last week watching Texas Republican
Rep. Henry Bonilla
lose to Democrat
DeLay still defends his hard-fought
redistricting plan, at the root of so many of his
problems, saying recently in a published report that
redistricting succeeded because it “made a political
has-been out of
And what does Frost, of Dallas, a former
Democratic congressman who represented portions of
Tarrant County for 26 years, have to say about that?
“I look forward to the day when Tom DeLay
gets to spend some time as a guest of the government,”
Frost said. DeLay is under indictment in Texas on
charges of violating state election laws, and his former
aides and associates have pleaded guilty to corruption
in the Justice Department’s ongoing
a very fine federal facility in southeast Fort Worth,”
Frost, now a lobbyist, said with a chuckle of the prison
in his former district. “That would be the ultimate
Hey, at least Martin Frost has a job. Best we can
figure, DeLay is unemployed and homeless.
Update: Donna Beth just reminded me that Martin's
wife, Kathy, died of cancer several months ago. She
was a retired General in the Army. I knew that, but
had forgotten, so I removed a comment I made about him
still living with his wife.
The Dallas Morning News has a pretty cool article this
morning about members of the State Lege using campaign
funds for personal use.
only get paid about
$25,000 a year, a lot of them use campaign money to live
on. That's understandable. However, a lot of them
cross the line.
Anybody who's been around for a while knows that the
most corruption in campaign account spending is on the
First off, the local guys don't have to file
electronically so they can hide their expenditures from
the viewing public. Second off, the elected
officials on commissioner courts across the state set the
district attorney's salary, and contrary to popular
belief, Texas district attorneys are not totally devoid of
IQ points - especially when if comes to which side of the
bread is buttered.
And, yes, even though I've moved to a new location,
I'll still be posting the local campaign finance reports.
I may have
moved, but I'm still two shades meaner than the devil
himself. Moving didn't make me any nicer.
Which reminds me, there's a rumor going around that a
few years back I made a county commissioner cry.
It's true and it's the proudest damn moment of my life.
I told everybody that I wanted that on my tombstone.
December 16 -
Yeah, I heard that
even Wharton County Junior College turned it down.
likelihood that the George W. Bush presidential library
will be located at SMU has not been welcome news for at
least one segment of the university community. A letter,
dated December 16, from "Faculty, Administrators, &
Staff" of the Perkins School of Theology to R. Gerald
Turner, president of the Board of Trustees, is now
circulating not only on the SMU campus but also among a
wider academic community, urging the board to
"reconsider and to rescind SMU's pursuit of the
I heard that Big Roy's Transmission School was hunting for
a library. Buck Pochek has been doing graduate work
there, and he says that most days a couple of teachers
show up sober. If sobriety becomes a trend at Big
Roy's, the Bush won't be able to have his library there
Juanita, I mean Susan,
As you may know, Baylor University is still trying
to get the Bush library to locate in Waco. But
there is a local movement afoot to use the
selected site for the Slobodan Milosevic Library
because it would bring less shame to our city's
tarnished reputation. But the speculation is that
since Waco has less to lose than Dallas' Highland
Park or University Park, we are the natural
How sad is it that Waco is the first choice for
something no one else wants? How sad is it that
Baylor hasn't figured it out yet?
- Our friend Don H.
sent us a link with the comment: "I
can't tell if Tom will take the bait, but if Jesus'
General manages to get a post up before they catch on then
it will be the best moment of 'gotcha' since Colbert
interviewed Westmoreland and asked him to name the Ten
Jesus' General applies to be a
blogger for Tom by saying,
I publish a fairly popular
blog called Jesus' General. I'd like to guestblog for
Mr. DeLay. I am not a homosexual.
That seems to be fully qualified.
- Things got a little fun at the Republican meeting
last night. I wasn't there,
but Bob Dunn was.
It appears that local party chairman Gary Gillen thinks
he's George Bush. Even with the Executive Committee
votes running 14 -35 against him, Gillen still thinks he's
And, he had to come up with fibs to cover his fibs
(sounding more and more like Dubya?) over what he signed
and when he signed it.
So, it appears that local Republicans will end up
spending their vast fortune on lawyers. And who
will pay for Gillen and Mueller's lawyers? Oops, I
wonder if they'll announce that after Christmas, too.
But, best of all ----
Precinct Chairman Paul Ware told the crowd “I see a fly
on the wall…and that fly belongs to the Democratic
National Committee, and he’s listening to what’s
happening. I hurt, and the party’s hurt. And that fly…is
going to let the Democrats know what’s going on here
Hey, I don't know who the Democratic fly on the wall was,
but hell yes we're enjoying this!
Precinct Chairman Paul Ware
told the crowd “I see a fly on the wall…and that
fly belongs to the Democratic National Committee,
and he’s listening to what’s happening. I hurt,
and the party’s hurt. And that fly…is going to let
the Democrats know what’s going on here tonight."
this is a job for Tomboy's exterminating service.
I'll bet they catch some big roaches while they're
December 13 -
Well, it comes to this. Instead of whacking each
other over the head with 11-foot poles (because they
wouldn't touch each other with a 10-foot one), local GOP
Chair Gary Gillen and Vice Chair Linda Howell are throwing
paper at each other.
Howell feels betrayed. Gillen feels neutered.
They might as well get married and argue this like any
normal people do.
One of my favorite comments comes from Gillen, when he
tries to explain why he reserved the
in his own name instead of the party's ---
“Simultaneously,” Gillen said, “I was dealing with
issues resulting from the Congressional District 22
lawsuits, including subpoenas in both state and federal
courts. Being faced with these challenges, I had to move
forward and find a way to function with no risk to the
Told ya he couldn't walk and chew gum at the same time.
No risk to the party? Who ever said the local party
was at risk? Was that something on Fox News that the
rest of us missed? Good Lord, he's practicing law
with an exterminating license.
If they expect Gillen to answer questions tomorrow
night about why he did this, they better check him for one
of those George Bush bulge and earpieces.
Gillian wouldn't need Rove on the other end with a
microphone. Your average high school sophomore would
- The Federal Elections Commission announced today
that it reached a settlement with Bob Perry's Swift Boat
Veterans for Truth (Yeah, right) for
violating the federal campaign finance laws during the
2004 presidential election.
The fine? $299,500 Here's a PDF of the settlement
agreement if you'd like to wallow in it for a while.
Swiftboat Veterans and POWs for Truth
So, amazingly, we have discovered that, in fact, the
rules do apply to Bob Perry. Thank goodness for
science or we may never have known this.
December 13 -
Described as "an
earthquake" by the San Antonio newspaper, Ciro
Rodriguez whipped Bush friend Henry Bonilla yesterday in
Texas CD28, adding one more Democrat to Congress.
San Antonio columnist
Jaime Castillo offers many
explanations of Ciro's stunning victory, one of which is
Perhaps already knowing that the election was slipping
away, Bonilla launched a negative TV ad over the final
days of the campaign attempting to link Rodriguez to
The moved smacked of desperation and unfair play. Add in
his staunch defense of indicted former House Majority
Leader Tom DeLay, and Bonilla wound up looking like
another tone-deaf Republican who would rather stick by
controversial friends and policies rather than bend to
Henry got kicked in the butt so hard that he could
taste boot leather. Henry has to row his own boat
now and it's about damn time. I wonder if he'll
start a blog next week.
I have my own theory on why Bonilla lost. It’s
the Curse of Bacardi. Bad things seem to happen
to politicians who take Bacardi money.
Tom DeLay's TRMPAC took $20,000 in soft money
from Bacardi. He's under indictment in Texas, in
part because of that Bacardi contribution, under
federal criminal investigation and resigned his
seat in disgrace:
Bacardi gave $10,000 to Bonilla's American Dream
PAC and now he's out of a job:
Bacardi held a fundraiser for Senator Mel Martinez
that raised $60,000 for his campaign - now he's
under investigation by the FEC for accepting
illegal corporate campaign contributions.
You'd think politicians would run screaming if
they saw a Bacardi lobbyist walking in their
direction with a check . . . .
- Our friend Sandy reminds us of reason #83 why the
rightwing needs to get their people to just shuddup.
World Net Daily, we get ...
Soy is Making Kids Gay
a slow poison out there that's severely damaging our
children and threatening to tear apart our culture. The
ironic part is, it's a "health food," one of our most
Now, I'm a health-food
guy, a fanatic who seldom allows anything into his
kitchen unless it's organic. I state my bias here just
so you'll know I'm not anti-health food.
The dangerous food I'm
speaking of is soy. Soybean products are feminizing, and
they're all over the place. You can hardly escape them
The writer contends that soy is "feminizing," so it's
turning all our men gay.
He doesn't explain lesbianism. Other than the
fact that he's male, of course.
And our friend Deb shows us a picture detail that has us
giggling. It's of Tom DeLay's blogger briefing.
(I think I see one girl there but it's hard to tell - it's
a large collection of fluffy white boys around the table.
I can't tell if that's a girl in the lower left hand
corner or maybe it's a guy eating soy. No wait,
that's Chick-Fil-A, who must have a corporate jet that Tom
wants to ride on.)
Anyway, you have to wait about 15 minutes for the
picture to load, but that's a good thing because you can
clearly see what Tom DeLay is reading at his blog briefing
Talking Points Memo, my favorite liberal blog.
I don't know if you noticed the Fox screen catch
in the background of the picture. Jack the Ripper.
December 12 -
You know you're an idiot when you can't
win an argument against Alan Colmes.
Now Tom DeLay is saying that the reason we're losing
the war in Iraq is because the President can't properly
communicate "the big picture." Ya think?
I wonder when Tom's daughter is going to enlist in the
military. I guess the same time the Bush twins do.
December 12 -
This could only happen in Texas. No, seriously.
Bill would allow legally
blind Texans to hunt
AUSTIN — A state lawmaker wants to make sure no Texan is
left out when it comes to hunting, even if the hunter is
Edmund Kuempel, a Seguin Republican, has filed a bill
for the 2007 legislative session that would allow
legally blind hunters to use a laser sight, or lighted
pointing instrument. The devices are forbidden for
I have only one question. Hunt WHAT?
No, wait. I have one other question: Can we
get Dick Cheney one of those laser sites?
Hey Susan,an Colmes.
I don't know why
you're surprised at letting blind people hunt.
Our county fathers have been letting blind people
design county buildings for years.
in Texas would we have a bill to allow blind
hunters to hunt and will suspend a 4 year old
child on sexual harassment charges because of a
hug he gave his teacher-- This state has gone
totally off into insanity!
- Okay, so now
DeLay is talking about how brilliant the Democrats
He's become a regular on Fox News, and now places blame
at his hand-picked Denney Hastert for not organizing
You know, it's a shame that Tom doesn't live here
anymore so he could
organize local Republicans.
By the way, when you see "intheknow" posting over at
Bob's site, that's stomped-defeated school board candidate
Liz Mitton, who likes to hide behind a mask while she's
calling other people bad names. Creepy.
Meanwhile, it seems it wasn't only liberals who
reacted badly to goback.org.
Norm Ornstein, a
congressional scholar at the conservative-leaning
American Enterprise Institute, scoffed at the idea that
Republicans will be led out of the wilderness by a
politician whose leadership coincided with huge
increases in federal spending and ballooning deficits.
“So now, he wants to save
conservatives from what he set in motion?" Ornstein
asked. "I don't know if there is a Texas word for
'chutzpah,' but whatever it is, he's got it.”
Okay, so who wants to pony-up $52 a year to be in Tom's
Club? If he folds after a week, do you get your
another thing, Move On doesn't charge it's members
to join..especially not 52 dollars a year, what an
odd amount. It sounds like a bribe, if you pay
Tomboy 52 dollars a year he won't run for office.
December 11 - Okay,
here's the best part of DeLay Blog.
The Hill says it'll be an organization like moveon dot
Except, I think in Tom's case, it should be named
goback dot org.
Look, and I'm being perfectly serious about this, Tom
is just looking for another way for somebody else to pay
his green fees. Just watch - within three months
goback.org will be spending money for golf trips with
corporate jets. I'll betcha.
Boy that blog got smashed yesterday..it was
hilarious. He's on Hardball tonight
talking about his new agenda..not like the
old crooked agenda I guess. I guess we
won't get to make comments on his blog..they
only take the ones from loyalists..isn't
that what they did in the Soviet Union?
- Okay, I want to be honest with you. There's
several place on the Internet Pipes where you can see the
comments left at Tom DeLay's new blog before Tom erased
them. However, it's a little (okay, a lot) raw for
me. However, Tom
DeLay's site promises to be fun. For example:
Unfortunately, many D.C.
insiders are simply incapable of looking outside the
capital beltway for fresh opinions and new approaches
that might otherwise help our nation.
This is Mr. Beltway Insider himself. You couldn't
get him to leave Washington unless you dangled a golf game
in front of him. Heckfire, he moved away from home
the day he resigned from Congress to go live near the
beltway. Left his wife and grandchild just to be
near the danged beltway.
He's delusional. I mean it. Totally
delusional. I mean, I expect Rod Sterling voice to
begin every time Tom walks into a room,
is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to man.
It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as
infinity. It is the middle ground
between light and shadow, between science and
superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears
and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension
of imagination. It is an area we call the Twilight
December 10 -
Okay, it seems that somebody is taking stuff off of Tom's
website faster than ole Tom can put it up. However, our
friend Don H is making copies of everything. He
promises to send them to me.
Crooks and Liars has some of it.
I'm sure you've been swamped with messages like
mine about Tom's new blog. The comments section on
the first posting more than doubled from 48 to 103
by the time I read down to the bottom, so people
are having fun out there. (Although I suspect it's
probably the same half-dozen people posting over
and over again.)
Anyway, as of Sunday afternoon two of the entries
by Tom (not the comments) have already been
pulled, and by the grace of the scrollback buffer
I happen to have them saved. If for some
reason (morbid fascination?) you want copies let
me know and I'll send those archives of Tom DeLay
history in the making. I also saved the latest 103
- no, 109 comments from the first entry, although
after a while they start to get mighty repetitive.
I suspect they will all get erased as soon as the
webmaster finishes his can of Pabst (which is now
a Texas beer, go figger...)
-- Don H
December 10 -
Oh, thank you, Sweet Jesus. Santa Claus came
early for me! I'm happier than a blind man at
Braille striptease. Tom DeLay is gonna blog!
Tom DeLay's back,
this time on the Internet. Friends tell us that the
powerful former House majority leader, dubbed the
"Hammer" for his tough persuasion tactics, this week
unveils TomDeLay.com, where he'll blog—DeLay's
Daily—on newsy issues and build a coalition he's calling
Grassroots, Action, and Information Network. Sources
said the right-leaning Texan will give gain members
insider information on the conservative movement and
urge them to step in on key issues. And Democrats need
not apply: His site will have a way to filter them out.
Check this sucker out!
He's just using it to get paid speaking engagements.
Once a whore, always a whore.
Okay, we'll be opening Brazosriver dot com again just
for you, I mean YOU!, to answer Tom's daily posts.
That's right, my friend, if he filters you out, you can
www.brazosriver.com Every damn day!
I'll get to work getting it to work. Or something
December 10 -
Republican Congressman Mike McCaul - who does his
representing in the Texas 10th, dangerously close to us
right here - has named Greg Hill as his Chief of Staff.
Who is Greg Hill, you ask?
Well, I appreciate you asking. Greg Hill was the
government employee at HUD who was heavily lobbied by Jack
The Miami Herald has the whole story this morning.
If any more Texas Republicans have ties to Jack
Abramoff, we're going to have to declare the whole Party
an Indian tribe.
- Our friend TK sent us a picture taken in Galveston
this weekend of a new venue suspected of being transported
from New Orleans.
(Click on the
little picture to get a big one.)
Yep, we can certainly thank Republicans for
- How in Sam Hill Tarnation can you be negligent in
protecting a child
without it being illegal?
"In all, a pattern of
conduct was exhibited among many individuals to remain
willfully ignorant of the potential consequences of
former Representative Foley's conduct," the report
That's legal? That's tight with the statutes?
If so, then something is real wrong.
Willfully ignorant, huh? You know, what with the
war, the national debt, scandals, the health care mess,
and everything else, "Willfully Ignorant" is the new
Vote for Republicans - they're ignorant on purpose!
- Local GOP infighting continues to make the news at
(subscription only) and
Fort Bend Now continues to keep the story fresh.
Local GOP Party chair Gary Gillen is having a Pecos
Promenade (or maybe in this case, a Brazos Bashing) with
his executive committee. Everybody is taking sides
and the meeting on the 14th at the annex should be as fun
as a Mexico Presidential election.
Knowing this bunch as I do, no matter who wins, the
other side won't concede and the battle will continue long
after everybody forgets what it was about.
Republicans and money - you'd be safer meeting with
Putin while he's carrying a shoebox.
- Okay, the new
Republican minority in Congress promises to be as lazy,
mean, and disgusting as the last Republican majority.
Since we’ve got a war going on, national security
issues, a heath care delivery system that’s coming apart
at the seams, and a national debt that promises to bury
our grandchildren, Democratic Congressman and soon to be
majority leader, Steny Hoyer, says maybe Congress should
start working a five day workweek.
You’ve never heard such carrying-on.
You’d have thought that we asked them to give up
their pay raise, too.
Republican who took the cake was Georgia’s own Jack
Kingston who claims that ……
"Keeping us up here eats away at families," said Rep.
Jack Kingston (R-Ga.), who typically flies home on
Thursdays and returns to Washington on Tuesdays.
"Marriages suffer. The Democrats could care less about
families -- that's what this says."
Jack, Bud, listen up – lotsa people work 5 days a week and
have a happy family.
And, Jack, listening to you whine about your family
when there’s American men and women in Iraq and
Afghanistan on their fourth tour of duty, hacks me off
You don't know Jack.
about Jack the Slack complaining about work (why
is work always so hard for republicans,
anyway?), I had to drop him an email cause he
just flat out ticked me off. I'd share the
message wit ya, but I know your sweet mama comes
here and I don't want to offend her. Needless to
say, I suggested he should put in his 40 hours
(at least) a week like most hard working
Americans and shaddup, or go home to work at
his local Walmart.
BTW, the new blues
and greens give me a slight headache, but it's
worth it to keep updated with all the
Your Yankee Dem in
Gee, I bet those people in Georgia that voted for
Jack are sure proud!
wonder what Jack thinks of the
Administration's regard for families. You know the
fine "Family Values" guys that sent the Military
who by the way are paid way less than $165,000 a
year,to Iraq and don't get to come home on
weekends and some not at all. I bet any
mother,father,wife,brother,sister or child with a
family member in Iraq would
trade salaries and work schedules with 'ol
My guess is Mrs. Jack
Kingston is throwing a
"Girls Night Out Party " and writing
a thank you note right now!
Thanks for the teary testimony from the good
Congresscritter from Georgia about how having to
work in Washington tears him away from his family
in Georgia. What a crock! When my friend Jane's
dad was a Congresscritter from New York, the
family lived in Chevy Chase, MD. And my soon to be
ex Senatevarmint Ricky Santorum was getting the
good people from the Penn Hills school district to
pay him for home schooling his kids in Leesburg,
VA while he was off playing on K Street with
Tommie the Dee. Our local State Senator ran a
campaign ad in which his wife went on and on about
how poor Jake just hates being away from his
family when he's off in Harrisburg drawing his
$100+ in tax free per diem expenses and I say that
all of those politicians who want to flog that
donkey should stay home all year.
December 6 -
Friendswood wants to establish English as the official
language of the city of Friendswood. I’ve been to
Friendswood. They do not speak English there. They speak
snob. Through their noses. Which point upward, as I
Plus, if you’re inviting people who don’t 100% agree
with you to pack up and leave the city, then, can you
honestly call yourself “Friendswood”? I mean, isn’t that
more like “Commiewood”?
I know these Friendswood guys haven’t been here very
long, but if they hang around a while in southeast Texas,
they’ll soon be trilingual. You learn to speak enough
Spanish to order from a menu and enough French to tell
that Cajun neighbor of yours that his crawfish cooker
scares you a little. Around Fort Bend you learn enough
Czech to understand when you’ve been told to kiss a butt.
Otherwise you would starve to death, tremble during
crawfish season, and get your butt kicked.
Hey Friendswood, talk friendly, ya hear?
Would Fiendwood be
- You know what's more fun than recess in heaven?
Watching Republicans fight.
Especially when they're fighting over money.
Our local Republicans right here in Fort Bend County
have come to depend on
big, major corporate donations to run their local
party. When that's threatened with Tom DeLay gone,
they are spatting over who has control of the little bit
that gonna be left. One one side there's Gary
Gillen, the party chairman, and his friend A. D. Mueller.
On the other side is ... well, pretty near everybody else.
Their big fundraising Lincoln-Reagan Day Dinner (two
men who would gag on Bush's name) is the object of the
fight. Bob's keeping a close eye on it because,
dammit, somebody has to and Bob does it best.
Gillen couldn’t be
reached for comment early Wednesday afternoon, but I
seriously doubt at this point that he’s going to listen
to the majority of the executive committee – which he
seems to blame for preventing him from operating the
party with the same sort of freedom his predecessor
Poor Gillen, his plumb line is crooked. He's all
sizzle and no bacon.
December 5 -
ARMPAC still broke.
No money coming in, still
If Tom DeLay tries to write you a check, I'd ask for
By the way, people aren't seeing Tom in the fancy Sugar
Land restaurants as much lately. So, hump it up, you
local Christian Coalition tightwads, and take Tom to
dinner. I mean, it's the talk of the town!