District Attorney Chuck Rosenthal bluntly rejected
the local Republican Party leadership's request
Sunday night that he abandon his 2008 re-election
campaign because of the scandal over personal
e-mails he sent to his executive secretary on
"What part of 'no'
don't you understand?" Rosenthal asked party
chairman Jared Woodfill, according to County Judge
Ed Emmett, who attended the emergency meeting.
I dunno, Chuck, maybe the part of no that goes "let's
hand the Democrats Harris County on a silver platter?"
Look, I don't mind that Chuck was doing the wild thang
with his secretary and she got all kinds of benefits and
privileges that no one else in the office got. Have you
seen Chuck Rosenthal? I figure she earned anything
she got, Honey.
What I do mind is that the Harris County District
Attorney was likely being extorted by someone who knew
about the noodlin'. This ain't about sparkin';
this is about opening yourself to extortion.
However, for the Republicans, it's about the sex.
It's always about the sex. They are sex-crazed
people. They don't mind that Chuck was abusing his
office; they mind that he had too much sex.
is the problem," thus sayeth St. Ronald
Reagan. It's taken me an inordinate amount
of time to figure out why he hit so many
buttons with that malarkey. It's because
the closest anybody generally gets to
government interference is
and that's not something Presidents or
Senators or Congressional Representatives
have any control over.
It's taken two and a half decades for folk
to wise up. In the meantime, the Rethugs
have bankrupted the country for the
forseeable future. Can you imagine? There
yahoos out there (like Jack Kemp) promoting
"trickle-down economics." How did that work
out for you?
I love me some Fenway Fran. Thanks for
introducing her to me.
I agree with Rick Casey again. About both the
movie and the politics.
As I read it, I was reminded of Commissioner Andy
Meyers, who would never occasionally cheat on his wife,
but cheats on the citizens of this county every day.
How anyone other than his wife ever votes for him is
beyond my ability to understand.
Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul's
internet regiment has come to World of Warcraft--
a group of his supporters are planning to form a
guild on Whisperwind and do a march from IF to
Stormwind (which means they'll probably be Gnomes or
Dwarves, which is too bad, because I liked the idea
of "Trolls for Ron Paul") on New Year's Day at
Now, I don't have anything against being odd. Odd
is good. However, I do not know if I can handle
people dressing up like Ron Paul and showing up at the
opening of Star Trek IX, Starring People Who Didn't Get
Over Ayn Rand By The Age of 20.
And, to be honest, I think our current President is
fantasy-based enough without adding anything to the
problem. But, that's just my opinion based on 7
years of reality observation.
Remind me to tell you about the Super DeLux Brand
Christian official paid
advisor to Ron Paul who has taken to calling people
"fat" when he's on the shallow end of an argument.
It starts about #43 and hits the black hole of political
literacy at #57. Yep, that's what Jesus would do.
OK Susan, now you did it. I'm sitting here
in a plaza scamming free WiFi and came
across your Ron Paul post.
However, I do not know if I
can handle people dressing
up like Ron Paul and showing
up at the opening of Star
Trek IX, Starring People Who
Didn't Get Over Ayn Rand By
The Age of 20.
made me laugh out loud, prompting
funny looks from passersby.
also come across far-too-earnest Ron
Paul folks. Smart move on his part
to be identified as the anti-war
Republican right off before anyone
realized what a nutcase he really
Ayn Rand comment wins a special
prize. I remember my mother reading
'The Fountainhead' in the 1950s but
never mentioning it afterwards,
which was unusual. I read it about
25 years ago because there was
nothing else to read on my ship and
thinking it was rather silly.
Architects and skyscrapers? More
like she was in awe of men who made
big erections. Sorry, I couldn't
find a more delicate way to put
that. On the other hand she drove
Alfa Romeo cars, of which I have
eight, so she.. forget that, she can
be all that bad.
contribute to the Alfa Romeo
Bulletin Board, and until recently
it was just about obscure car stuff.
Then a local curmudgeon threw a fit
about a proposal to allow illegal
aliens to get drivers licenses in
New York which got all the xenophobe
talk radio nuts involved. And then
me, who brought my future wife and
son to the US in the trunk of my car
20 years ago. It got pretty intense.
Before the fireworks died down an
exec from Blackwater (which I found
out about later on) laid into me,
much to my delight. I could have
written paragraphs on each of his
points, but the old saying "Never
wrestle with a pig- you both get
dirty and the pig likes it" came to
mind. It's really funny, I'll send
you the link when I come across it.
wishes for a happy new year and keep
the hits coming!
- Okay, it appears that something is real wrong with
Texas District Attorneys.
First, we learn this morning that the
Harris County (Houston) District Attorney is playing
footsie with his executive assistant and was probably
being extorted. His emails slipped out, and we
discover that he likes to kiss his women behind the ear.
How far behind, I dunno.
Next we discover that the
Dallas District Attorney has had his ticket pulled
by the State Bar of Texas and is no longer licensed to
practice law in Texas.
In non-breaking news, the Fort Bend County John Healey
still should have his learner's permit revoked.
I think we can help Chuck Rosenthal out by
proxy request to radio stations. Since he
is obviously preoccupied by his scandal we
should call stations and ask them to play
the following songs in his honor.
Chuck E's in Love
Me and Mrs Jones
I Got You Babe
Love the One You're With
And in consideration of what his wife may
do: Gimme Three Steps (Mrs)
wrote a new press release for Mr. Rosenthal ---
Contact: Chuck Rosenthal
Friday, December 28, 2007
Statement by Chuck Rosenthal
Recently some Harris County District Attorney inner
office emails have been released in the media. It
makes me look like a hypocrite which lately is not
hard to do in the Republican party.
I understand that I have said some things that have
caused pain and difficulty for my family, like
writing an email that said I wanted to kiss my
secretary behind her right ear when in fact her left
ear is just as luscious. Or wanting to caress her
firm supple breasteses. (Ok I didnt write that, but
I did think it) I deeply regret having said those
things although I had quite a woody when I did.
I also understand that sometimes things happen for a
purpose. Maybe this will encourage my wife to leave
my sorry ass, or for the Harris County Republican
Party to denounce my adulterous behavior and demand
my resignation. But I am not going to hold my breath
since Jared Woodfill is a big wuss and won't do
diddly squat. In fact maybe Jared should resign.
This event should serve as a wake-up call to the
voters of Harris County concerning the lack of
ethics, intelligence, and Christian family values of
the Gross Old hyPocrite party.
Charles "The Horny and Incredibly Stupid" Rosenthal
Soon to be Former Harris County District Attorney
December 27 -
The Super DeLux Brand Christians are just taking over
No, I’m serious.
It’s serious. Serious as a snakebite.
Okay, so first David tells us that they’ve found a Holy
Highway, and it, of course, would be
right here in Texas.
A devout group of evangelical Christians in the
Midwest are flocking to help purify a spot they
believe the Bible has ordained as holy ground -- and
it happens to be 1,500 miles of interstate asphalt.
Why the location?
According to CNN, the small contingent of
churchgoers believe that Interstate 35, a sprawling
highway running from Texas to Minnesota, is
specifically mentioned in the Book of Isaiah,
And it ain’t enough that it’s Divine Asphalt. No,
siree, we gotta help God by praying over the road.
Churchgoers in all six states recently finished 35
days of praying alongside Interstate 35, but the
prayers are still continuing," reports Tuchman.
"Some of the faithful believe that in order to
fulfill the prophecy of I-35 being the 'holy'
highway, it needs some intensive prayer first. So we
watched as about 25 fervent and enthusiastic
Christians prayed on the interstate's shoulder in
Imagine that. Dallas has a Holy Highway. This
starts at Nuevo Laredo and goes to Duluth. I have no
idea why they chose Dallas to do the praying at, except
maybe Dallas has better food and more Strip Joints than
David says that this Holy Highway is a disgraceful
thing - imagine them all out there praying up a storm
over the interstate and they haven’t even adopted the
durn road and cleaned it up. I think we should have
laws covering things like this. I’m certainly not
claiming to be an expert on pavement prayer, but I think
we should give them some litter bags and see if they can
pray the empty beer cans up off the side of the
And then to subtract even more IQ points from
frontiers of ignorance, Texas has deemed it necessary to
offer a legitimate
degree in science education in creationism.
Because Baylor University is not doing enough to
plumb the seas for Noah's Ark, an advisory committee
of the Texas Higher Education Coordinating Board
has recommended that the
Institute for Creation
Research be given the authority to grant
Master's degrees in science education. Perhaps the
training will help graduates stay employed in the
Lone Star State, rather than
getting fired like the state's former director
of science curricula, a shameless Darwin booster.
I bet our
County Judge Bob Hebert will be the first to try to
buy a degree from there!
In all honesty, you have to kinda respect the far
right wingers. Those guys will do anything to get out
of taking physics. On their science tests, all the
correct answers are: “Magic!”
And a note to them from me. Hey guys, Newton’s
Laws aren’t really Newton’s Laws. They are God’s Laws –
Newton didn’t create them; he just found them. God is
not David Copperfield – God is the coolest scientist
ever. And I'm serious as a snakebite.
Your December 27 post is the best ever!
I needed that this morning, too funny! I
caught the SDBC's on TV on the side of
the road. I wish I am not quite sure
where they were praying, but they need
to get down here to Red Oak and work
some of that Mojo to get the DAMN
get me started on the online science
thing. Hmmmm, if I went and got one,
though, will it count towards my masters
and I can get a raise? Then I can
covertly work from within their system
to discredit them! MmWhahaha! Excellent!
(said with Mr. Burns inflection...)
ends at Nuevo Laredo I would have
serious doubts about it being anything
near Holy. Nuevo Laredo is in a virtual
state of Anarchy and controlled by Drug
lords. If y'all remember this is the
place where a new police chief lasted 4
hours before being assassinated. I'm
surprised they didn't pick I-30 since it
goes through Little Rock where Hucky
lives and Dallas too. It's much more
- Our friend John sent us a hoot of an email with a
song you'll love!
Did you know that the website that the
Larry Craig song is linked to declined
to print it? What the hell is going on?
Have the Baptists taken over the
Internet? Isn’t a highway enough for
these people? I always thought that one
day the whole damn state would go stark,
staring mad, but I didn’t think it would
happen so soon.
I was staying at
a Fairfield Inn (a subsidiary of Marriott
which is ultimately owned and controlled by
a devout [rabid] mormon/republican). When I
tried to access the Larry Craig song on my
computer using their wireless, I got a
screen telling me this was a forbidden
zone. Now I could access porn on the
Internet using their system (I only checked
as a test) and they were more than willing
to offer me "adult" movies on my TV (for a
price), but I guess in their eyes political
dissent is worse than even hootchy
Sam in Pearland
- Okay, so my whole entire family (even including
the Cajuns who usually get lost somewhere on I-10 and
never make it here until New Year's) were all here for
I'm knee-deep in gift wrap, there's a ringing noise in
my ears, there is not a scrap of turkey left in the
house, and we think Uncle Hank is secretly hiding in a
closet upstairs because he bought Aunt Earline a dress
two sizes too big and she. was. hacked. off.
Tragically, Aunt Earline will be to Beaumont before she
misses him, and then she'll have to pull over and ponder
for a while whether or not he's worth coming back to
get. I may be stuck with him and his insulting
ways for a week or two. On the upside, Uncle Hank
quit drinking about a year ago and joined one them Holy
Roller churches. He can be real entertaining when
somebody mentions Hillary Clinton. We think he's
speaking in tongues but maybe not, because he's not real
good at English, his only language. We think the
mention of Hillary's name throws him into a seizure
disorder. One of the kids tried to poke him with a
stick. It was more fun than a remote control
The great news is that Bubba got me an I-Phone for
Christmas (no, I will not give you my phone number) and
after a few hours of study, I almost have that sucker
out of the box. I may be distracted until I figure
it all out.
And speaking of Hillary Clinton, I have a great
Congressman Nick Lampson story to tell you when I have
time. Check back because this story takes
scanning, and sorting, and all manner of time-consuming
stuff and I have gift wrap to pick up before the health
department shuts me down.
I'll be back real soon.
- I thought and thought about what to get you for
Christmas this year.
I finally decided on the gift of music; a Christmas
tune to warm your heart.Luckily, I know an
Click to enjoy.
“Carabeth’s Waltz” was written by
Mike Rose and included in a 1995 collection of
Christmas tunes gathered up and published by
Carrie Crompton. Since then, the tune has been
enjoyed at Christmas time by countless traditional
musicians. Here, it is played on octave mandolin
(Albert Hollan), accompanied by guitar (Bill
Thank you, Albert for
letting me share.
May your Christmas be warm and wonderful, and may you
find the peace that passes all understanding.
December 24 -
One of our jolly customers, Brian, is spending
Christmas in Hawaii this year. He's working
and away from his family. But, he got a pretty
good gift this year. He woke up this morning
to this ----
Nice of him to share it with us, huh?
- I promised more pictures of Momma with celebrities
and here goes.
Here's Momma with everybody's favorite candidate for
the Texas Supremes,
Judge Susan Criss.
You would be hard pressed to find two finer Texas
Momma's birthday. She's 83 and can still walk your
legs off and whip your patootie at Scrabble.
However, she can no longer do both at the same time
- We get email about crazzzy things in other parts
of Texas, where they believe that Jesus was bottle-fed.
Now, Momma, here's your warning: Read the column
but not the comments. (For those of you who are
new here, Momma don't put up with no dirty words.)
December 22 -
Wright N. Justice
brings us a stunning presentation for all those who
have soldiers spending Christmas away from home. I
share your heartache.
And to all of those who finally have their soldiers
home, I share your joy.
- Alfredo says Just when you think the Republicans
couldn't engage in any more self-mockery,
Speaking of an article written by Republican
Congressman Congressman Thaddeus G. McCotter and his
newly established Champions of American Freedom PAC
(Political Action Committee) ....
From there it gets
truly ridiculous. The article says that
“Republicans successfully promoted economic
prosperity and protected homeland security”
following the 9/11 attacks, but these
accomplishments were “eclipsed in Americans’ minds
by a dark foreboding of chaos” resulting from events
that the GOP seemingly had no control over or hand
in: violence in Iraq, “the doddering incompetence of
FEMA after Hurricane Katrina,” the expanding federal
deficit, and the higher costs of healthcare, and
“unfolding Congressional scandals.” (Wisely, the
article does not mention any names here–Duke
Cunningham, Mark Foley, Jack Abramoff, and Tom DeLay
come to mind.)
Babe, y'all better watch out. The Republicans are
just getting crazier and crazier. Personally, I
think it's a bad case of the DeLay Armageddon Disease,
spreading like a plague over the Congress.
- Comcast is an egg-sucking dog of a company.
They are as worthless as a 4 card flush when you need
customer service. I have had no service since 9:00
a.m. on Wednesday night. They have made and missed
two 3-hour time windows for tech support and been exceptionally stoopid
on the phone.
So, to those of you who were worried, I am fine.
Comcast, however, is not. PLEASE NOTE: if you sent me email in the
past two days, please resend. The odds are that I
did not get it.
There is a very good reason why we don't
have cable TV. Paying for 500 channels of
stuff we don't care one whit about is a
I realize that I live in an area which has
three (count em, THREE) public television
stations, which, unfortunately ALL have
pledge drives running at the SAME time,
makes one want to weep. But, there are many
who don't suffer from this apparent
embarrassment of "riches." Why, oh WHY, did
the Republican-controlled Congress take
funds away from the folks who want to EDIFY
all of us???
mercy, you're okay. I was afraid that
some county commissioner had come cut your
worst customer service on the face of the
planet. They hold special training
sessions to help keep their people rude and
- Alfredo says that only in America could a company
that just paid the Federal government over $6 million to
settle charges that it overcharged the Federal
government for its services see an increase
in its Federal contracts.
Let's hear it for PBS&J - they obviously have the
keys to the Magic Hot Rod.
This must be Military Industrial complex Ike
warned us about...
"Retired Air Force Maj. Gen. L. Dean Fox, a
PBS&J senior vice president, will lead the
division based in Beltsville, Md."
For those who think that the GOP is primed to make a
comeback, there's some real sad, oh so sad, news.
In the poetic and wonderful words of State Democratic
Chairman Boyd Richie ---
congratulate our newest Democratic State
Representative Dan Barrett on his victory in
House District 97. In an election marred with dirty
tricks and Craddick cronies, Dan ran as an
independent voice, who could be trusted to stand up
against Tom Craddick's special interest agenda and
fight for the best interests of Texas families.
"Dan Barrett won in a
district drawn by Republicans to elect a Republican,
and his victory is a slap in the face to Speaker
Tom Craddick and the failed Republican
leadership in this state. Voters have sent a message
that they are tired of "business as usual" in Austin
and want leaders who will replace the pay-to-play
politics of the Republican Party with a state
government that works for all Texans."
case against Bastrop County Commissioner David
Goertz, state prosecutors are now accusing him of
crimes and misbehavior dating to his first days in
Goertz was arrested
earlier this year, accused of using inmate labor to
install electrical wiring and do other projects at
his Bastrop home. The additional accusations, named
in a notice filed by prosecutors seeking to
introduce them at Goertz's upcoming trial, include
ordering that tons of gravel be stolen from the
county, ordering the dumping of toxic waste and
lying to a grand jury.
I've often said that County Commissioner is the most
corruptible office in the State of Texas, and Goertz is
making my argument for me by ---
Ordered county employees and inmates to spread
gravel intended to pave the county's roads on
• Oversaw payments
for gravel to a Bastrop man that were $50,000 to
$60,000 more than the value of the gravel the county
• Ordered county
employees to bury antifreeze, paint and oil on
county property and then tried to cover up the
illegal disposal to thwart a criminal investigation
by the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality.
• Ordered employees
and inmates to work on vehicles and lawn mowers
belonging to him and his family and friends using
supplies bought with county funds.
• Told employees to
bill the county for overtime hours the employees did
not work and for hours worked on his properties and
those of his family and friends.
• Accepted a riding
lawn mower modeled after the General Lee, an orange
Dodge Charger from TV's "Dukes of Hazzard," from a
county jail inmate, a violation of state law.
• Lied to the grand
jury that indicted him.
A Duke of Hazard riding lawnmower - well, I can see
where one would sell one's soul for something as dandy
Republican county commissioners - you just gotta love
how Texas County Commissioners always
campaign like they're one of the Duke Boys
and then govern like Boss Hogg. Too bad it
was a Yankee who coined the self-serving
term, "Honest Graft," because we sure got a
lot of Texas politicians who believe in it.
Dana Summers must be peeking in Fort Bend County ---
White House visitor
logs are public documents, a federal judge ruled
Monday, rejecting a legal strategy that the Bush
administration had hoped would get around public
records laws and let them keep their guests a
The ruling is a blow
to the Bush administration, which has fought the
release of records showing visits by prominent
A big ole hug to
the organization who keep the lawsuit going.
And it seems just a tad sweet that the ruling was made
not by a liberal federal judge, but by a Reagan
administration had sought to have the case moved to
another judge by consolidating it with a similar
lawsuit before U.S. District Judge Rosemary Collyer,
an appointee of President Bush.
Lamberth, who served
in the Justice Department before President Reagan
put him on the federal bench, has roiled Democratic
and Republican administrations alike with rulings
rejecting government secrecy claims.
I knew there was one Republican on earth with
convictions and ethics. I think we just found him.
You know, there's petitions going around to impeach
Bush. Heckfire, I'd rather impeach every judiciary
appointment - including the ones in the Department of
Justice - as tainted by the filthy hands of Karl Rove,
Roberto Gonzales, and Harriet Meyers.
December 17 -
My friend Granny
Geek is handy with a camera around her neighborhood
of Oak Cliff (near Dallas).
I'm not so handy with a camera, but I've never let
something as minor as competence stop me.
Right down the street from me is this Christmas
a couple of miles away in Pecan Grove ---
But my favorite of all, a real Texas Christmas ---
I gotta get me one of those! Man, I'd plug that
sucker in year 'round! That's ain't neon, Honey;
I'm visiting my next door neighbors today.
And speaking of Commissioner Andy Meyers, there's
something else on his campaign report that bothers me, I
mean besides buying himself a truck and paying his son.
On last January 8th, he says he had a "Meeting with
supporter / constituent" at Snapper Jack's restaurant on
Jones Road in Houston.
I looked it up. That's 22 miles and a 30 minute
drive from here. It's way the heck out past Jersey
Village on 290.
First off, why would one of his constituents need to
meet so far away from here? I mean, how cute was
Second off, last January 8th was a Monday. What
the fool tarnation was Andy doing out past Jersey
Village on a Monday when he's supposed to be at work?
Rick Noriega, the
Democratic Houston legislator and candidate for U.S.
Senate, is tall, trim, handsome, and bald. The
National Guard lieutenant colonel, 49, was working a
small crowd of San Antonio Democrats and donors this
past September with both the habitual shoulders-back
posture of a career soldier and the fluid ease of a
onetime junior college infielder. “I’m nobody’s Don
Quixote,” he told me in a later interview,
acknowledging the odds against his turning out
Texas’ incumbent junior senator, Republican John
Cornyn. “I’m too old to go off tilting at windmills.
But I’m fed up.”
Take a trip to the site and see some awesome
pictures of Rick and Melissa taken by Troy Fields.
I'm designing a bumper sticker that says, "My Senator
Wears Combat Boots."
Now I want you to stop and think for a minute what
would have happened
if this had occurred to fluffy white male voters
during the Clinton administration. Rush Limbaugh
would have had to hire five or eight more housekeepers
to buy his drugs just to keep him calm enough to to keep
Department's voting rights chief stepped down Friday
amid allegations that he'd used the position to aid
a Republican strategy to suppress African-American
John Tanner became
the latest of about a dozen senior department
officials, including former Attorney General Alberto
Gonzales, who've resigned in recent months in a
scandal over the politicization of the Justice
Department in the Bush administration.
In recent months,
McClatchy has reported on a pattern of
decision-making within the department's Civil Rights
Division, of which the Voting Rights Section is a
part, that tended to narrow the voting rights of
Look, we survived Nixon and we'll survive Bush.
I'm just not so sure how much longer I can personally
December 15 -
There's hardly anything better than living in a
small Texas town with the
State High School 4A Champions. (By the way,
the coach is a former student at Lamar. There's
something so sweet about that.)
Maureen Dowd in her Houston Chronicle column
this Wednesday about Mitt Rommney was
quoting Jon Krakauer, who wrote a best
seller about the Mormon faith. Krakauer
worries that "the Mormon Church, while more
welcoming, is still not a place that grants
women and blacks equal status, and it's a
terrible place to be gay. The leadership is
authoritarian, male, white and absolutely
intolerant of dissent."
Heck-fire, I thought he was talking
about the Fort Bend Commissioners Court.
been after them for some time to appoint
a woman or minority to the first
available judgeship. Someone said, "Give
it up. They wouldn't appoint a woman as
Yeah, but if
they need someone to fetch coffee
Oh good grief. Texas Governor Rick Perry is
running all over Iowa saying stoopid stuff.
Rick Perry is like the crazy uncle you keep in the
attic so the neighbors won't know that insanity runs in
your family. However, I suspect that for Texas,
George Bush kinda let the cat out of the bag on that
Anyway, Rick fancies himself taking Dick Cheney's
place. So, he's trying to
scare the beejeebers out of everybody.
Gov. Rick Perry aired unusually pointed criticism of
President Bush while stumping in Iowa for Rudy
Giuliani for president last week. Perry predicted
too that if Democrats prevail next year, the war on
terrorism will return to U.S. soil.
I guess they finally taught Perry to read
polls, because he's changed his tune on his big buddy
Bush. Buit talk about a fair weather friend --
"Let me tell you
something," Perry said: "George Bush was never a
fiscal conservative. Never was. ... Wasn't when he
was in Texas. ... I mean, '95, '97, '99, George Bush
was spending money."
And you know Rick, he can't miss an opportunity to kiss
Perry also revealed
in his Iowa appearance that GOP presidential
candidate Mike Huckabee, the former Arkansas
governor, had asked Perry to chair his campaign
earlier this year.
"It was a hard
conversation to call him and tell him I was for
Rudy," Perry said. "He was disappointed, a bit
frustrated. I still love him, and he still loves
We know Rudy
is a big ol' two-timer. Do you think he's
cheatin' on Rick with Haley?
Perry as your Vice Presidential running mate
thinking he'll carry Texas for you is like
hiring Typhoid Mary as your cook thinking
she'll serve up nothing but good, wholesome
meals. It's not a question of whether that
harebrained decision will cost you, but how
soon and how much. Rick Perry, like the
Vice Presidency, ain't worth a pitcher of
We Texans have long been known to be a
generous bunch. Why should we keep all
of Rick Perry's twittery to ourselves?
If nothing else, letting some of it go
to other states acts kinda like a
release valve and keeps us from getting
all swole up with it. Besides, if he
stays out there campaigning for a good
long while, maybe we can get some money
back on that $10,000 a month castle he's
Dave in Austin
Yes, yes, we've had server problems. No, I
didn't remove any posts - they just disappeared
tubes last night. I'd complain bitterly to Senator
Ted Stevens if I were you.
I restored them all, so stay a while and catch up.
- I've got some real bad news for Houston
Republicans. Last night was the newly formed
Spring Branch Democrats first ever Christmas party.
Otila's was packed. Packed, as in had to eat standing
up. Tough luck if you had to go to the restroom
-packed. It was a T.O.M. crowd, Darlin' - Tough,
Organized, and Motivated.
Whitmire was the keynote speaker and you would have
thought you were at a tent revival. There were
Amens! all around the room as he told us why the
Republicans have outstayed their welcome.
Christina Walsh, Spring Branch Democrats club
president, has done a remarkable thing with this group -
in less that 3 months they have become the "in" place to
be. She's a whirlwind inside a tornado during a
She makes you proud to be a hooter-toter.
Here's a picture of Momma with Christina. I'll be
posting pictures of Momma with other famous people as
the Christmas parties progress.
Momma wants you to know that they took up a generous
donation for her favorite local charity that she's been
supporting since probably before you were born -
Sister Gay and
The Mission Yahweh.
It was another great night to be a Democrat.
December 12 -
Some sweet soul sent me a picture of GOP
Congressional candidate wannabe Dean Hrbacek with the
folks who went blockwalking with him last weekend.
Republicans: The Other White Meat.
Yep. There's plenty of diversity here. Let's
see - a tall white guy, a short white guy, a plump white
woman, a white woman in blue jeans, a young white guy, a
..... oh wait, there's a white guy in a black shirt!
Gov. Rick Perry made an apparent verbal slip Tuesday
by describing former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee as
the best Republican presidential candidate on the
issue of ending abortion and former New York Mayor
Rudy Giuliani as the most electable in the general
That’s no slip, Honey. That’s very calculated.
Perry truly believes that if Giuliani is the GOP
nominee, Perry will be picked to be the Veep candidate.
Two reasons: (1) Giuliani needs help carrying Texas,
and (2) Perry can kiss-up to the Super DeLux Brand
Christians. The “oops!” slip about Huckabee only adds
to Perry’s bona fides with the steeple people.
It’s just Perry preening again.
- Time Magazine is doing their Top Ten end of the
year lists. You might want to check their
Top Ten Campaign Gaffes.
I kinda think we might do that right here in the coming
year. With nine - count 'um, 9 - GOP candidates
for CD22 so
and all of them trying to out-Christian the other, this
year promises to be fun locally, too.
Personally, I'm kinda hoping this guy wins so I can sing
Boat" at every campaign event. He's been out
of the military for a decade, so my best guess is that
he's got a uniform fetish or often tries to get on
cruise ships for free.
And then there's this guy,
who drives a small fast car, still lives at home with is
parents, and keeps emailing me begging me to write about
Okay, Alan, here goes: I have found that men who
drive small, fast cars generally are.
reminds me of an old joke:
difference between a Porsche and a
The pricks are on
the outside of a porcupine.
If "Alan came to Washington DC", then how is
he now eligible to run in CD 22? I did not
see where his About Alan "bio"
indicates that he ever came back to Texas.
- Now where'd I put that burka?
GOP contender Mike Huckabee
signed a statement in USA Today that says, among
other very irritating things, "A wife is to submit
herself graciously to the servant leadership of her
husband even as the church willingly submits to the
headship of Christ."
Hummmm ... seems to me
I've heard that song before. (Links to an old
cache copy. It also contains one of the best lines
I've ever written, "Charlie is a self-confessed member
of the religious right. The religious right is to
religion what pro wrestlers are to sports."
In short, our state representative Charlie Howard
(Rep., Creepy) agrees 100% with Huckabee and announced
it at the Republican Men's Club.
My favorite part of the Charlie Howard story:
I wish to make the
following announcement: At the Republican Men's
Club, Charlie Howard was asked by a woman what she
should do if she is a single mother without a
husband to head up her household. Charlie told her
that she should get a neighbor man to help her. I
ain't kidding; he said that.
Being as how most
married women are not willing to lend Bubba to the
cute widow lady down the street, I offer the
following advice. If you are a single mother with no
husband but need a man to help you, call Charlie
Howard at (281) 565-9500. He is available for
yardwork, grunting, small rodent killing, Bible
Study, scratching when your friends visit, using
your best towels for auto repair, leaving the toilet
seat up, and sitting in front of the tv in his
underwear eating Doritos and hollering coaching
plays at tv evangelists.
And if I had
Mike Huckabee's phone number, I'd post it here for you,
Oh wise one,
Thanks for the heads up on Huckabee. I've
already promised my Democratic sis that if
he somehow manages to get the Repub
nomination, I am staying home on election
day. The shift dress messed up my figure
enough. Can you imagine what a burka would
I have a great idea. How about every
unattached female in Charlie Howard's
district call him to help her with all those
chores that we gals are not qualified to
attend to--you know like putting lights on
the roof, rat killing, trash taking out.
Let's keep him busy until spring so he
doesn't have a chance to campaign and then
we can elect a woman to replace him. Paula
December 10 -
Okay, okay, I swear it's not me who is doing this, but
it's pretty danged funny.
Several months ago, I noticed that CD 22 GOP
Dean Hrbacek had written himself a wiki. I
commented that it's probably not smart to do that
because you can't control the message on a wiki.
Anybody can come along and edit your wiki.
Which is exactly what's happening. Take today,
for example. Until Dean comes along and changes it
back, you will be proud to discover that ---
Wallace won the
election after receiving the backing of several
Republican leaders with whom he was allied in Fort
Bend County and a local African-American newspaper
that was sued for libel by Hrbacek. Despite the
support of many gay and lesbian rights groups,
Hrbacek faced a hard race, before losing to Wallace,
who ended up winning 56 percent of the vote.
election, Hrbacek filed a lawsuit against Jon
Matthews and the newspaper publisher, B.K. Carter,
over the comments, which claimed that the comments
also damaged the reputation of Hrbacek's law firm.
Matthews has since been indicted and convicted as a
sex offender for exposing himself to a child and is
no longer on the air or writing columns for the
newspaper. However, he remains in contention for a
run at district clerk on the Republican ticket in
the upcoming election.
Another not-very-bright idea brought to you by the far
rightwing of the GOP.
December 9 -
Okay, one of the things we have got to change in the
upcoming election is the Texas Supreme Court. They
are so outta whack that they qualify for state whack
Rick Casey shows us another example of whose pocket
they are in ---
High court plays gotcha
You don't have to be
a liberal these days to figure out that the Texas
Supreme Court will twist itself into a legalistic
pretzel to favor corporations over the little guy.
On Friday, four
Republican justices who sit on the nine-member court
came to that conclusion.
I don't care where you live or what you do, drop on over
to Susan Criss's
website right here and give her some money.
$5. shows you care. $5. buys a couple of yard
signs. Give her $5. and you're gonna feel good
about yourself because $5 might get the court back in
the hands of the people.
December 8 -
UPDATE: The Lamar Consolidated Mustangs are
going to the State Finals. See ya there! Several years ago, back when I wrote for a
newspaper, I followed a 4-A high school football team in
the small town where I live for a couple of years.
Since I was going to attend the games anyway, I decided
to do a column about it.
The boys loved it and it was some of the best and
funniest writing I've done. The players still look
me up, most of them fully grown men now, and tell me how
much fun it was for me to write, "Honey, he sacks better
than the bag boy a Kroger." They gave me a big ole
obnoxious Homecoming mum with stringers all over that I
still count as one of my prize possessions.
Well, the Lamar Consolidated High School football team
made the newspaper again, but this time it was
on the front page of the Houston Chronicle. No
kidding, all over the front page.
They may win their first state championship. And
5' 6" Jacquizz Rodgers may become the state record
holder for touchdowns in a season tonight.
I live about a mile as the crow flies from the school
and even when I'm not at the games, I can hear it loud
and clear. By the way, the Mustang Band is one of
the best they've had in years.
And, appropriately enough, their colors are blue and
white so they've got that thing going for them, too.
So great to see you covering Jacquizz
Rodgers. I've actually been following his
progress since he committed to my alma
mater, Oregon State, so it was great to see
him get a mention on your site. His older
brother James is playing as a true freshman
for the Beavers, and just won the biggest
game of the year (the Civil War against the
University of Oregon Ducks) for us with a 25
yard fly sweep on the first play of double
OT. Can't wait to see the Rodgers brothers
on the field together for the Beavs.
Go Mustangs! Go Beavers!
love to keep him in the Lone Star State, but
who can blame anyone for going to
Nielsen—the well-connected Orange County
conservative activist who claimed the so-called
liberal media, specifically the Weekly, was
out to get him by publishing a series of exposés on
his pedophile activities—finally admitted on Dec. 5
that he used two boys for sex since the early 1990s.
In open court, a somber Nielsen, who has extensive
personal ties to Congressman Dana Rohrabacher and
Orange County Republican Party boss Scott Baugh,
gave Superior Court Judge David Thompson signed
guilty pleas acknowledging two felonies: committing
lewd acts on a 12-year-old Virginia boy and
14-year-old Orange County boy.
- And in the No Shoot, Sherlock Department ---
strategist Karl Rove decried Democrats in general
and Hillary Clinton in particular as big spenders
Goodness Sake, Betty Sue, irony is not dead.
By the way, Karl, your shipment of failure has arrived.
You can pick it up down at the bus station.
December 7 -
For a long time around here the Belles of Heaven
Republican Women's Club and their fellow travelers have
referred to me as being "Anti-Christian" because I
oppose hypocrisy, nakkid greed, gossip, and
backstabbing, all of which, apparently, are tenets of
I also suspect that spending us into hell is also a
tenet but that's a whole 'nother story.
I have refused to discuss my faith publicly because it
would take all the fun out of their name-calling.
So, it was with great interest that I listened to Mitt
Romney's speech yesterday. For the most part, I
Rick Casey at the Chronicle ---
When John Kennedy
came here in 1960 to face the the skeptical
Protestant ministers of the Greater Houston
Ministerial Association at the Rice Hotel, he
defused American anti-Catholicism with 1,595
Romney's prepared speech to a hand-picked audience
at College Station's George Bush Presidential
Library and Museum contained 2,540 words, nearly a
thousand more than JFK's.
Romney needed the
extra words. His job was tougher than Kennedy's.
Kennedy simply had to
convince Protestants that he was a good American.
Romney has to convince
Republican primary voters that he is a good
But there was something in his speech that made me
Romney promised that he would not allow the leaders of
his faith to dictate his public policy. That's
However, he forgot the add that the leaders of other
extremist religions will most certainly will dictate his
Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson and James Dobson have
trumped the leaders of the Mormon church for Romney's
affection and allegiance. They will dictate
Romney's policy. And they give me the creeps.
the Club! I'm catholic so I've been
considered the "Wrong Kind of Christian"
myself by those same folks. We're gonna
one heck of a party in Hell, won't we?
is Jerry Falwell still dead as a
doornail? Or is he still speaking to the
I've had it
up to my ears with this kind of stuff.
I've decided I'm voting for the person
who stands up to the religious
testers and says "I will work for the
American People, not for the Mormons,
the Catholics, the Southern
Baptists, the Jews, the Muslims, or the
atheists or any haters". Religion should
be personal and private, not a public
display and certainly not a state
supported means test for our elected
they give me the creeps too.
Good Luck to
Yankee friend in Spring,
Anyone who can read
the gospels, read what Jesus said to
the very worst of sinners, and then,
by contrast, read what He said to
the Pharisees, should be pretty
danged terrified ever to say “I
personally define what it means to
obey God, and I set myself up in a
position to call people good enough
at following God or not good
enough.” When Jesus is calling
people vipers and questioning
whether they have any hope of
escaping hell, then that’s clue
number one that the behavior isn’t a
Not that this will
dawn on any of the Belles of Heaven.
Their Bible is a lot more fun to use
like a dictionary: just look up the
sound bite that fits neatly into
today’s designated outrage, and
they’re happy as pigs in slop.
Until, that is, the day they come
face-to-face with Him; then I think
the fun will come to a pretty abrupt
Dr. Doyle in Oregon
Listening to the evangelical's
blather has got me to wondering
why someone hasn't made this
bumper sticker for those of us
who stayed awake in Sunday
PUT CHRIST BACK IN CHRISTIANITY
December 6 - We get
email that makes us semi-jealous.
You know, if I hadn't come across your
'ain't-a-blog' during the DeLay glory
days I wouldn't have ever known what a
fascinating world there is in Texas
politics. Reading this while sitting on
a boat in Hawaii- it's work, not
pleasure- makes me realize that Hawaii
officials aren't the only sleaze around.
Anyway, in reference to the land of real
blogs, Dan has confirmed on the
top of Page 2 of this article what
any idiot already knew. I mean, Fox
believing they don't get the White House
access they deserve? How deep do they
need their collective head?
Thanks once again,
December 6 -
The Republicans who aren't dropping out are dropping
Curt Weldon's chief of staff has agreed to plead
guilty to conspiracy charges for allegedly helping a
consulting firm championed by Weldon obtain federal
funds and for concealing money the firm paid his
wife, according to court papers filed yesterday.
Russell James Caso
Jr. and a top official at the unnamed nonprofit
consulting firm met repeatedly with Weldon to seek
the Pennsylvania Republican's help in obtaining
federal funds for the organization's defense
projects, according to the court papers.
The Federal Pen Caucus of the GOP is becoming a large
force in the Party.
When all these Repubs are paroled, the
movement to restore voting rights to
convicted felons will really pick up some
restored to felons convicted in
Texas when their incarceration, parole,
or probation has been completed.
discharged felon need only
re-register to vote in his county of
December 5 - A big
ole thanks to Nick Anderson this morning.
December 5 -
Alfredo reminds us that
the Tom DeLay saga is not over and offers-up a very
interesting article giving up a glimpse into Tom and
While he had plans to make life
miserable for Plaisted, Abramoff’s RMI strategy
called for devising new ways to combine fun,
fundraising events and policymaking to benefit his
client. In the e-mails, Abramoff and his team
discussed holding fundraisers during Kabua’s planned
First was a fundraiser at a Sept.
12, 1999, Washington Redskins-Dallas Cowboys game to
be held for DeLay and Young. DeLay, according to
e-mails within Abramoff’s team, had agreed to
attend, but Young was not planning on showing up.
At the time, Abramoff and his
fellow Preston Gates lobbyists were contacting DeLay
about RMI legislation. Foreign lobbying records show
they contacted Rudy, DeLay’s deputy chief of staff,
at least 16 times throughout 1999.
Poor Ole Tom. All prissyed up and no one
to pay the bill.
December 4 -
Okay, those of you who have been hanging around here
for a while know that I have some interests
of politics - baseball, ancient Greek playwrights,
radios, and kettle corn. We're not going to talk
about kettle corn. Kettle corn far too complicated
to talk about.
I love radios -- all kinds of radios. I love am
and fm and ham and scanners and shortwaves and if it's
in the air vibrating I want to know about it!
if this happens today, it's likely to save me some
money. While satellite radio is nowhere near as
cool as ham or shortwave, or even scanners for that
matter, it is great for clear reception on road trips.
It would be nice if I didn't have to flip a coin every
year to decide which one I'm willing to pay for.
On the other hand, will it get real expensive if there's
just one? While I'm willing to pay to hear old
radio dramas, weird late-night call-in shows, and
uninterrupted music, I ain't willing to pay to hear
Oprah or Dr. Phil or Howard Stern.
I just thought you'd want to know that unlike all the
other non-bloggers, I care about your radio and will
stand on constant vigilance to insure that somebody is
watching this stuff.
I read your
blog regularly and enjoy your comments.
Keep it up!
December 3 -
Amen, Hal! How Republican County Judge Bob
Hebert can call himself a "conservative" just wilts the
angel on top on my tree.
And how 'bout the taxpayers' right to see how this
money is spend by the EDC? Oh noooo ... we're
supposed to just trust them. This is such a scan,
but when you elect the EDC's pimp as county judge, what
the fool tarnation do you expect?
And here's a question for you: Why do we have to
give the EDC money to do what the Chamber of Commerce is
supposed to do for free? Answer: Presidency
of the Chamber doesn't pay well enough for Bob Hebert's
administration is laying out a new secrecy defense
in an effort to end a court battle about the White
House visits of now-imprisoned lobbyist Jack
agreed last year to produce all responsive records
about the visits "without redactions or claims of
exemption," according to a court order.
But in a court filing
Friday night, administration lawyers said that the
Secret Service has identified a category of highly
sensitive documents that might contain information
sought in a lawsuit about Abramoff's trips to the
Department, citing a Cold War-era court ruling,
declared that the contents of the "Sensitive
Security Records" cannot be publicly revealed even
though they could show whether Abramoff made more
visits to the White House than those already
I wonder how many of our tax dollars were used to pay
White House lawyers to find THAT loophole? Any why was Jack Abramoff anywhere near any Sensitive
Security Records? Can you even imagine if the Bill Clinton White House
pulled a stunt like this? Cripes, they'd be ready
to hang him for treason.
December 3 - This
morning, at what seemed like the crack of dawn to me,
Lt. Col. and State Representative
a breakfast blocks from the home where he grew up before
making the trip to Austin to file papers to make his
candidacy for the United States Senate official. I imagine you'll see lots of pictures about this
historic event all over the internets. But this is
the only place where you'll see a picture of Rick's
wife, Houston City Council member Melissa Noriega, with
Rick's third grade school teacher. Beautiful women both.
How can you lose with faces like that supporting you?
December 3 -
Okay, for those of you who want to to see the original
source code before Captain IQ
tried to sloppily change it,
here's a PDF you might want to keep around in case
you need it in the future.
The good news is that I
was right. The better news is that you were wrong.
You have been sending around emails saying that I
cannot be trusted about your
Dean Hrbacek Blog because I’m a Democrat.
Lord . Have. Mercy.
you’re talking, but you ain’t saying
nothing. Is your sanity on backorder?
I never asked anyone to trust me about your insane
need to blog anonymously and go all ga-ga over GOP
congressional candidate Dean Hrbacek. This ain’t
faith-based, Honey. I’m not asking people to believe ME. I have proof
that you are, in fact, connected to the blog
www.cd22watcher, a.k.a. Hrbacekpolooza.
First, we exposed
the connection between cd22watcher and two other blogs
you have. You took down the two blogs faster than
double-geared lightening, and sent out an email to your
entire email list saying we didn’t know what we were
talking about because we’re Democrats. In your email
you say that you are mortified that
Bev Carter of the Fort Bend Star gets information
from this website. There’s no reason to be mortified.
Bev Carter knows that for 20 years I have never printed
anything I cannot prove, and that I know a lot I don’t
print under the theory of “Don’t Tell Everything You
Know Because You Never Know When You’ll Need It.” Then just out of pure meanness,
we showed everyone the RSS widget connecting you to the
blog. You took that off the site within hours , and
still denied that it was you. Girl, has the devil got complete control over you
and your booty? What’s it gonna take to make you face
the reality of your DNA and fingerprints all over this
sucker? How ‘bout a motion picture? A movie! Cinema!
Popcorn, anyone? We have a movie of the latest proof that the
Hrbacekometer is your website, Liz. We tried to get
Glen Close to star in it as you, but she refused, saying
she didn’t want to be typecast as an insane, evil
woman. So, this movie just stars you and your blog,
Hrbacekacita. Those “techno-geeks” who claim to be running your
blog just don’t know squat about source code, or maybe
they do and they’re setting your hiney up for a loooong
fall. Why don’t you just tell Jersey Boy that you’re
not going to be sluttin’ for him no more? LMITTON starring in, “Are You Smarter Than a
For a higher
quality video, click here, Babe.
You left the source code to the widget, Captain IQ. This is probably still on your site, Hon, because we
even checked this morning. And, there’s more. Lots more. And when you
remove it the minute I mention it, it’s admitting you’re
guilty. And you call ME crazy? Hell, at least I know who I
am. You can’t say that ‘cuz the devil done got inside
your head. I warned you once, Girl, don’t mess with me. Don’t
call me a liar. And,
Miz Litton, you’re just edging-up on messing with me
and the FEC. I think you owe me,
Mark, and Bev Carter a big ole apology. Or a lot of
money. I dunno about Bev because I haven’t discussed
it with her, but I’ll settle for you coming over to my
house and cleaning the tops of my ceiling fans while my
friends and I drink Margaritas and watch. Mark doesn’t
have ceiling fans, but he does have a three-legged dog
named Gizmo who needs a leg transplant. It’d probably
be cheaper for you to donate one of yours before he gets
an arm from you, too. I’ve only got about one nerve left and you’re
getting all over it. Face it, my techno-nerds are
better than yours. Funnier, too. Check out my new
www.lizmitton.com. And while you’re there, check
the source code on that site. Oh Heavens, girl, wave a white flag before I tell
some more of what I know. Don’t make me get the flying monkeys.
Oh purveyor of truth and reality and law,
Hrbacekpolooza site - Just who can
get into trouble for running a web site
without proper disclaimers? The
candidate? The volunteers or staff?
Looks like Lizzy Mitton estimates her
cleverness and credibility factors way too
high. Once again Fort Bend County is
indebted you you and yours for exposing the
Wondering - We here at Kiss My Big Butt Butt
Dot Com have a team of legal experts who are
looking at this issue with eagle eyes.
Well, that's not true. We have a
pre-lawyer-in-training who has the email
address of the FEC. However, that
appears to be more than Dean's campaign
support team has.
Upon reflection, I ask that you please do not make fun
of Liz's name. It's sophomoric, below
our abilities, and most importantly, I hear
they're calling her "Mittons" over in New
Territory and we cannot beat that.
Susan, I am a
diehard Republican but I will vote for you
if you run for office. I will.
Dear Dick, do
not get carried away. Grab ahold of
yourself. On second thought, if you're
a Republican that probably isn't good
advice. I would be a horrible public
servant. Telling everyone to kiss your
patoot ain't a great campaign slogan.
scary that this mittens lady would think her
ID Would have to be hidden. After all its
not like in Mexico where mayors and
journalists are gunned down in the streets
for having an opinion. Maybe they know
something we don't know.
CYCLOPS1 (just in case)
It's now 6:30
p.m. I don't know when you posted
this, but the "line" is gone on her website.
You're right about it appearing to be
correct when they fix it so quickly. I
assume you have more evidence?
Dear Mike, I
posted it several hours before. You're
good at that assuming stuff.
I really like Hrbacek and as soon as I
figure out how to pronounce his name, I will
scream his name! By the way, is the H
accentuated as in the way Paris Hilton says
“Hot”? Or is it silent like in Halepeno? (oh
wait, that is Jalepeno, which doesn’t have
Dear John -
it's pronounced "Herr Bad Czech."
notice that this mess made the
New Jersey News? I see you even
got a mention in the comments.
who Parties On
Remind me to
never get on your bad side.....go girl!
With their war chests
swelling and challengers nowhere to be found, the
five members of Harris County Commissioners Court
have spent more than $2.3 million in campaign cash
the past two years on everything from charitable
donations to clothing and rare books.
In doing so, some may
have run afoul of state laws designed to make their
campaign spending transparent to their constituents,
according to experts and a Houston Chronicle review
of Texas Ethics Commission complaints since 1992.
Until we have ethics reform on county commissioner
courts in Texas, we will continue to be sold down the
river to developers, engineering firms, law firms, and
good-ole-boys who want to get some tax dollars.
Our county commissioners have to file new reports in
By looking at their old ones, you can bet it'll be