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September 30 - Oh look, a new scientific discovery:  You can hack a hack.

Gov. Rick Perry's much-touted "Talkin' Texas" online campaign event included eyebrow-raising proposals such as a two-thirds vote of the Legislature and voter approval before state taxes can be raised.

The live Web cast also was unavailable to me and lots of other people who couldn't log in, showing that if you live by the Internet, you can be attacked on the Internet.

"We were definitely hacked. We'll have a statement shortly. The whole site is down," said Perry spokesman Mark Miner.

     I swear that this race is going to involve water balloons, panty raids, and keg stealing before it's over with.

Our guv doesn't want to be the first govenor who has executed an innocent person.  That might not look too good to some voters. Yesterday he abruptly removed three members of the Texas Forensic Science Commission, which was in the middle of its investigation of the tragic fire, which resulted in the execution of Cameron Todd Willingham.  Several weeks ago the New Yorker has a long story about this case.  Barry Scheck in on this matter like no windstorm our purdy guv has ever been in.  Bring on the hairspray!
I got my thank you letter from Perry, and I hope Shaniqua can get a nice car.

September 29 - Max Baucus can kiss my big blue butt.

September 29 - Hey, the Lord of the Dance dang near dropped his partner on her head last night.
     Kinda like he did to Newt Gingrich.  And Jack Abramoff.  And Jack Scanlan.  And the workers in the Mariana Islands.  And Dick Armey (okay so Armey deserved it).  And that little waitress at the Capitol Club in Austin.  And his former business partners.  And ... crap, face it, all of us.
     He's gonna get the boot and he has no way of supporting himself.  He's tried everything and everything has been a dump.
     Look for him next on Biggest Loser!

"He's gonna get the boot..."
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!!!!!!!11  Stop with the negative waves.  This is the best time of the best time of my entire Delay modified life-cycle.  
Puhleeeze rally the troops and vote, vote, vote.  We needs to keep Tom on the airwaves for more and moar public humiliation.  The FACT that he has set himself up for failure on accounta his mainstream press, liberal blogger, Nazi, facist, communist inspired and conspired, near-miss, pre-mixed, pre-stress fracture-type-thing is simply more reason to support him now in his desperate time of need.  Listening to conservatives whine about how they "never had a chance" is music to my ears.  They set themselves up for failure, and then fulfill their prophecies.
Remember, vote early - and vote often.  Delay for Biggest Loser!

Susan - he needs to stay on the show.  He needs the money.  For Lawyers.

Large Tim

September 29 - Dude, this would put Mark Sanford and Bernie Madoff to shame!

Gov. Rick Perry woos campaign volunteers by talking about fiscal restraint, limited government and states' rights.

And if all that fails, he offers them cash.

The Republican governor's re-election campaign is paying volunteers to sign up other volunteers, and it promises more cash for those turning out voters in the March primary. The campaign hopes for big dividends from the Amway-style program, known as Perry Home Headquarters.

     I'm not saying that these fluffy white boys are fixing to be taken on a ride, but what keeps people from scamming the scammers?

A Twitter post from a woman identified as Shaniqua Curry shows how easy it is to join Perry's grass-roots army, even if it is for selfish reasons:


Clicking on the link sends you to a Perry campaign Web page that appears to have a unique identifier so the recruiter can be paid.

     Hell, I'll take Perry's $20 and help Shaniqua get a car.  He can't follow my butt into the voting booth.  I can vote for the Democrat, take Rick Perry's money, and get Shaniqua a car -- talk about a win-win-win.

Isn't this exactly the same thing that has the R's all in a tizzy  about Acorn?


Well I sure do appreciate the effort to help me out. It really does get hard going to school and working and not having the means of transportation to live a stable life.
Here is the link:

Shaniqua Curry

I just signed up Lyndon Johnson for Perry's... er, "Buy Shaniqua a Car" ... campaign :-)  Lady Bird, too!

Richard Grabman

NOTE FROM SUSAN:  I signed up with my real name and address.  The worst that happened was that Rick sent me an email thanking me.  What's he gonna do?  Come over to my house and act prissy?  Y'all, Shaniqua needs a car.  Let Rick Perry buy her one.

September 28 - We get email with visual delights ---


  Hey, didja know this is Banned Books Week? I wonder hominy of your  pal Cynthia Dunbar's books made the list...she'll probably put them in her (soon-to-be?) ex-husband's car and set them on fire...


September 28 - Everybody knows that Governor Rick Perry has barb wire for brains, but he's so lucky that he could fall in a septic tank and come out smelling like Channel No. 5. 
     However, he appears to be luckier than normal when it come to his personal wealth ----

Gov. Rick Perry never had much money growing up, and he has spent most of his adult life in public office, drawing a part-time salary as a legislator and relatively modest earnings in statewide office for the last quarter century.

But thanks to his investments and a series of private land deals, some that took advantage of his political connections, Perry has squeaked over the millionaire line, records examined by The Associated Press show.

“Rick Perry should do an infomercial on how to become a millionaire as a professional politician,” said Hutchison campaign manager Terry Sullivan. “From abusing his power over appointments to getting sweetheart real estate deals from supporters, he’s a regular get-rich-quick icon.”

     It has been said that politics is the art of keeping as many balls in the air as possible while protecting your own.  I can't prove it, but I think that was written about Rick Perry.

September 28 - Well, Tom DeLay made Dickipedia and he's dancing the Tango tonight.  There's not a much better way for me to start a week.
     I'm suspecting that he's gonna come up short in the keeping up department tonight, but, mercy, watching him Tango is gonna be fun.
     We shall see if a money-launderer can do a little cheek to cheek. 
     After looking like a waltzing roadrunner last week, I can't even imagine what Tom DeLay is going to substitute for footwork  this week. 
     Please don't forget to vote for him - being a finalist on Dancing with the Stars will serve him well in prison.  Can you even imagine the bragging rights that Jack Abramoff is getting off this?

September 27 - Texas Governor Rick Perry continues his tanglefooted attempt to keep the Govship.  This time he's hacked off the entire Republican power structure, and hoo boy, they are whining like little girls.
     Rick doesn't like to talk about Kay Bailey Hutchison personally because he looks so bitchy when he does.  So, he's decided to be manly and attack the whole danged GOP.
     Well, I say Good on him!

Gov. Rick Perry’s broad criticisms of Washington Republicans aren’t sitting well with Washington Republicans.

In a closed-door meeting Thursday in Washington with Perry chief of staff Ray Sullivan, several top aides to Texas Republican U.S. House members expressed anger over the language Perry is using as he tries to fend off a challenge from U.S. Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison. Perry often criticizes Hutchison in code by complaining about Washington.

Stoking their anger was a Sept. 14 fundraising letter in which Perry contrasts Texas’ relatively healthy budget climate with the Washington model of “more government, pork barrel spending and fiscal ruin.”

But instead of just talking about Democratic congressional leaders or President Barack Obama, the letter calls out Republicans.

“Let’s be frank,” the letter says. “Washington Republicans got us in this mess.”

     Well, danged, the one time in his whole life that Rick Perry tells the truth and the Ship of Hate turns on him like he's an Aggie in Austin.
     Oh wait.  He is.  Never mind.

September 26 - You can't make this stuff up.  You can't.  Well, maybe you could but your brain would explode and make a mess.
     A dude named Bill Keller, sporting a bleached blonde Afro, who is out of prison for an insider trading conviction, and his buddy Attorney Gary Kreep (see, I told you that you can't make this stuff up) have shot an infomercial to get people to send them $30.
     But instead of getting a Shamwow, you get a Shampoop. 
     It's the world's first birther infomercial
     No kidding, for merely $30, these guys will send a fax in your name to all the state Attorney Generals asking them to force Barack Obama to produce a birth certificate. 
     This might well be the coolest scam ever.
     You get to take people's money, not ever send the fax, and attempt to delegitimize the President all at once. 
     This infomercial is running in Lubbock, Texas.  I have been to Lubbock, Texas.  It was named after a Confederate veteran and it ain't changed much since.  It is home of the university who hired Alberto Gonzales to teach political science.  It ain't exactly hell, but you can see hell from there.
     I'm figuring Keller and Kreep know Suckertown when they see it.
     This infomercial apparently comes on after midnight.  You know, when your audience is a proper mix of drunks and people home from Klan meetings.

Gee, I haven't seen that scam before.  But, I'm thinking that for $30 bucks (that's an expensive bunch of faxes) you should at least be able to get a prayer cloth or something to show for your money.  Either that, or an autographed pic of Tom DeLay in his dancing togs.

Way back in the 70's David Viscott wrote a book called "The Making of a Psychiatrist." It's opening sentence, as I recall, was "Happiness is watching Lubbock get smaller in your rear view mirror." More than a modicum of truth in that statement.

George Walker

I am all in favor of a good con job, especially when carried off by unctuous right wingers.  I’m also in favor of ignorant right wingers becoming poorer.  Less money they can donate to Rick Perry.  

Not one court hearing this birther nonsense has found a bit of evidence to support it.   All the more reason Keller and Kreep should keep on trying. 


September 25 - Thank you, Nick Anderson ---

September 25 - My friend John pointed me to something I want you to know about.
     It seems that Trent Lott does, in fact, favor the public option on insurance - homeowners insurance

Unlike people without health insurance, homeowners have access to public option flood insurance. 

Even those who fail to take personal responsibility to buy insurance to protect their property can get benefits, thanks in good part to politicians who are leading opponents of public option healthcare.

Consider the example of  Trent Lott of Mississippi, who was that state's senior senator when Hurricane Katrina hit in 2005, flooding his home looking out on the Gulf. Lott had not exercised personal responsibility by taking out flood insurance even though it was available from the federal government at low cost. He did have private insurance, but his insurer refused to pay much of the claim, saying it was not wind damage (which was covered by the policy), but water damage (which was excluded).

     So, on those days that Mr. Ego jumps in your head and you start thinking you're all that, just remember:  you are far less important that Trent Lott's house.
     By the way, does this make Trent Lott's house the birthplace of Mississippi Socialism?

September 24 - I would like to make an apology to my Congressvarmint, Pete Olson.  Thanks to a heads-up from my friend Alfredo, I now know that Pete Olson is not the dumbest man in Congress.
     This guy is.

U.S. Rep. Paul Broun is again raising the specter of Democrats turning the United States into a totalitarian state. Broun, R-Athens, apparently has not changed his belief that President Obama may be a fascist since he made similar remarks in Augusta in November and then in an Associated Press interview.

He told a meeting of the Morgan County Republicans on Wednesday night that Obama already has or will have the three things he needs to make himself a dictator: a national police force, gun control and control over the press. “He has the three things that are necessary to establish an authoritarian government,” Broun said. “And so we need to be ever-vigilant, because freedom is precious.”

As he did when comparing Obama to Hitler and the Soviets last year, Broun cited a speech Obama gave in Colorado during the campaign last July calling for “a civilian national security force that’s just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded” as the military.

     Thankfully, there is a cure for this.

September 24 - I like Hank Gilbert.  I have given him campaign donations and campaigned for him.  I think he'd be a great Governor of Texas.  I do.
     But, he has got to quit this kind of stuff

Hank Gilbert, a Tyler-area rancher who ran for agriculture commissioner in 2006, today accused fellow Democratic gubernatorial hopeful Tom Schieffer of stealing his education ideas.

Gilbert’s concern centers on Schieffer’s remarks about pre-kindergarten, dropout prevention and vocational education during a visit to a University of Texas at Arlington class on Tuesday that was documented in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram.

     Whining and issuing press releases that someone stole your ideas ain't leadership.  It's silly.  And sending the press a memo with “SCHIEFFER_HIT" written on it reeks of immaturity.  I know Hank's better than that.
     Look, good ideas are good ideas.  If your opponent thinks you have a good idea, be flattered. 
     I ain't voting for you just because you said it first.  Nobody expects a Governor to invent all the good ideas.  People expect a Governor to know a good idea when they see one.  Period.  The end.
     This ain't junior high school and somebody is copying off your paper.  These are real issues about people's lives.  You got a good idea - dammit, share it.
     Look, Hank, smile that great smile you have and simply say, "I'm glad that Mr. Schieffer likes my idea.  I hope he gets some of his own because we have lots of problems to solve in this state after Rick Perry made a mess so big it wouldn't fit in Palo Duro Canyon."  And then leave it alone. 
     Get this train on the track, Hank, because you'd be a great Governor. 

     By the way, please do not interpret this to mean that I can think of even one nice thing to say about Tom Schieffer.  I can't.  And I even pondered on it for a while.  I got nothin'.

September 24 - Somebody ought to stain his backside.

In a column for, action star and conservative activist Chuck Norris calls on tea partiers to stop using the modern American flag as a means of protest against the current administration. And if you insist on using the 50-star flag, well, you can buy a tea-stained one for just $73.50 to show "solidarity with our Founders."

     Chuck Norris is so full of hot air that he could give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation over the telephone. 
     Okay, so my neighbor hangs out an old flag with a stain on it.  Wanna know what I'd think?  I'd think he has an old flag with a stain on it. 
     Sounds to me like the ultra conservative World Net Daily has got themselves a dandy little scam.
     Babe, for $15.99 cash American money I can send you a flag stained with whatever you'd like - tamales, grape jelly, Truman's muddy feet, wet crepe paper, you name it. 
     And I wanna know what the fascination with "solidarity" to the Founding Fathers is all about.  Does Chuck want to go back to slave owning?  No suffrage for women?  Child labor? 
     Just between you and me, I highly suspect that this whole Founding Fathers thing is code for at least two of those things.  They probably like children.

Somebody ought to explain to  Mr. Norris that desecrating the flag is unlawful.  I have no idea what the legal parameters are, but it seems to me that deliberate soiling of the flag would constitute desecration.


It is against the rules to fly a damaged or stained flag. If it is not in proper condition it is to be disposed of. A stained flag is an insult to the whole idea of a unified symbol. Only the best looking standards are displayed by any country, army etc. It's called pride. Chuck seems to have lost his.


September 23 - Poor Tom DeLay.
     No, seriously.
     Is it possible to have the anti-Midas Touch?
     First, he resigns from Congress.  Then he tries to find a job.  Having no luck at actually working for living, he writes a book called No Retreat, No Surrender, which is ironic considering that he retreated, surrendered, and ran away from Congress waving a white flag while speaking French.  The book sells three copies. 
     Then he tries a hand at a pay-per-view website.  That attracted about as much attention as a hog callin'.  And, come to think of it, it pretty much was a hog callin'. 
     Then he tired to open a Republican think-tank, momentarily forgetting that the word "think" was in the title.  That went down faster than double geared lightening.
     Next thing we know, his much-touted homes for foster children, Rio Bend, has gone from 8 families to 1 family and that Lutheran Ministries has pulled out.
     Then he tries dancing on tv to earn money.  He's just awful at it.  Even worse, now we find out that he hurt the ratings of the show
     If his next job is back to exterminating, I wouldn't have him to your house because he's probably carrying the plague. 
     I know that everybody wants to see him in an orange jumpsuit, but watching him fail at everything he does is perfectly fine entertainment for me.

You mean he got PAID to do that???  I STILL liked his Wild Thing dance.  It explained to me why he was called the hammer......partied with the democrats indeed.......and had no hip action!


Susan. One more time. Bud

September 23 - A good lawyer knows that the best legal strategy is to stall a case until everybody dies or they change the law. 
     Good lawyers are winning in Dallas.
     It seems that the lawsuit to stop SMU from building a library to George W Bush, also known as The Temple of Doom, has hit a timely snag. 
     A gnat's knee away from settling this sucker in SMU's favor, the judge withdraws himself from the case.

But the implications for the case itself – which has indirect ramifications for the George W. Bush Presidential Library at SMU – were fairly obvious: It no longer seems to be on the verge of ending.

     So the hemming and hawing will continue, and we can still hope that the seats in the Texas Lege will be regained by sane people who will pass a law that you cannot build libraries to The Worst President Ever. 

September 22 - Y'all, Richard, who knows where all the booty is hidden, sent us the best link ever.  There is a contest to give the Texas GOP a new logo.  Here's the winners so far
     Some of them are a little ... oh, shall we say ... raw for my family oriented website, so head on over and take a gander at them all for yourself. 
     My favorite is -----

September 22 - Y'all are gonna just love this.
     The Huffington Post has set up a special Rick Perry is Going To Hell Faster Than An Angel Can Catch Him page.
     I have a scary feeling that Rick goes to the page every day just to look at the handsome pictures of himself.  
     I want to thank Kenneth for sharing this with me.  When he dies, we're gonna have to screw Rick Perry in the ground.

September 22 - A small group of determined people trying to make a difference can be fun to watch.  Go take a look.
     It is hopeless to contact our Texas Senators.  One is the man mixing the kool-aide and the other has sold her soul to be Governor.
     Our Congressman, Pete Olson, is dumb as a sack of hammers and will only move away from his desire to see the children of undocumented workers die at the door of emergency rooms when Sweet Jesus rolls his eyes at Pete personally.
     So, if Democrats aren't willing to stand up for the 75% of American who want the public option, they can kiss my big blue butt.
     Help these guys out.

September 21 (after DWTS) - Absolutely true story:  the minute Dancing with the Stars was over, I got a phone call from a guy who served in the Texas Lege with Tom.
     "You know how he shook his beehind in everyone's face as often as he could?" asked the guy. "Well, that what he did - figuratively - every day in the Lege."
     I believe it.
     By the way, if I tell you that it's Christmas, you better go buy some little twinkling lights.  I told you he would be just gosh awful, didn't I?
     Oh please, go vote for him so I can watch some more.  Oh pretty please.
     By the way, his daughter Dani sent two emails during the program explaining how to cheat when voting for her Dad.  Just habit, I guess.

I just watched Tom's first dance.  He looks like he has one buttcheek, indicating he was either wearing a Spanx (you can tell it ended just above the knee) or a diaper.  What do you think?

Tom DeLay, the highest ranking indicted guest on this show!

WILD THING!!!!   He truly carried it off, which tells me something about being the hammer.  him saying i have much tougher critics than these (punk ass) judges.  they should have had Ronnie Earle be the guest judge!


I don't care about seeing DeLay in sequins, near as much as I would like to see him in an orange jumpsuit.


Ms. Susan,
Thank Zeus for the hammertoe video.
I haven't seen high heels like that on a man since Sonny Bono was on TV.
Charly Hoarse

Susan, I love the line that Tom is an extremist makeover.

Hey Zeus

      Susan. A classic guffaw. The Olbermann program. “And next Tom Delay Dancing with the Stars – that should serve him well in prison”. Bud

September 21 - Y'all, do not forget to watch Tom DeLay on Dancing with the Stars tonight.  There is a giant Liberace treat involved ---

Elvis meets animal print ... They said I wasn't sparkin' enough compared to Cheryl, so they added rhinestones to my collar.


    And do not forget to register to vote for him because I am almost positive that his next outfit will involve pink and lots of sequins.  You know they'll have to do that to keep people interested.
     Y'all, I really need to see Tom DeLay dancin' for dollars like a pavement princess at the Colorado Club.  I've worked hard and fully deserve to see this every week for a month.
     And for those who are believe that voting for Tom will just encourage a comeback:  Remember Tucker Carlson on DWTS?  Yeah, right, great career move, Tucker.

     Dani DeLay begs for votes from her dancin' fool of a father.


Last Saturday night at Discovery Green Park there was a benefit for the SWAMP (Southwest Alternative Media Project) that featured a sing-along with the musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Once More With Feeling.  I think that Tom Delay starred in it:

Actually, this role was played by the amazingly talented Hinton Battle.

If anyone was wondering how HTT out-altituded his dance partner, here is the uncropped truth.
(Created with MS Paint in less than 9000 hours)







I love Wonkette.   Here's her(?) post about Delay's daughter sending out instructions on how one person can vote multiple times for her father tonight.  Fruit, tree, yada yada.  Since you're hoping to watch him make a fool of himself several weeks in a row, I thought you'd enjoy this.


Susan - Larry Craig ain't the only one.

Hey Zeus

September 21 - Okay, if you're in need of a Monday morning laugh, go cast your vote for the funniest protest signs ever ---

My favorite.
     You can even upload some of your own!

September 20 - Now some of you are going to think that Rick Perry spent this 20 seconds doing a George Bush impression ---

     -----but, in truth, George Bush spent 8 years doing a Rick Perry impression.
     Rick Perry is dumber than bean dip.  With dog dump on top.

September 20 - Ya know, something just doesn't smell right about this ----

Texas advocates for the wrongly convicted are going after a sheriff's deputy who says his trained dogs have sniffed out bad guys in more than 2,000 scent identification lineups.

The Innocence Project of Texas says it will release a report next week that exposes scent identification as junk science that's led to an untold number of wrongful convictions. The group argues that scent lineups should be inadmissible in court, and it dismisses what Fort Bend County Sheriff's Deputy Keith Pikett does as “dog whispering.”

Pikett also faces two federal lawsuits from men implicated in the dog handler's scent lineups. Charges were later dropped in both cases.

Pikett's attorney said his client believe the scent IDs are accurate.

     I can't prove it, but I am pretty near darn certain that this has something to do with lazy deputies.
     Let me tell you this:  For a treat, my puppy Truman will come tinkle on the leg of anybody who smells vaguely like that cute little poodle down the street. 
     I'll head on over to the goofy head honchos at the Fort Bend Sheriff's Department and see if there's gainful employment for me and Truman. 
     Bubba really doesn't want me commenting negatively about this whole thing because he thinks it'd be more fun than the circus to cross examine the dog on the witness stand.  It should be noted, however, that the dog has 40 more IQ points than the handler.

    Susan. Sniffing out bad guys – what about the biggest stinker of them all – DeLay?


September 19 - For both of you who have been wondering what I've been up to --- there's this evidence that I have, in fact, been doing something constructive.  It's a list of the 14 Democratic Senators who are wavering on health care.
     You can now comment on the Democratic website without registering first.  However, this is subject to change if those two idiots who messed up the conversation on Fort Bend Now make an appearance.  Yes, Charlie and Chris, I am talking about you!
     So, head on over there and throw in your two cents. 

September 18 - Thank you, Bill.


September 17 - Okay, but the question is --- is she bragging or complaining?

As we told you yesterday, the Texas State Board of Education is meeting in Austin today for the first public discussion of new history textbook standards, which include a controversial section that would require knowledge of Newt Gingrich, Phyllis Schlafly, et al.

Before the board turned to social studies, the hearing got to an odd start when an animated member of the public testifying about the importance of health education declared, "I'm 56 years old and I'm a virgin." The chair promptly warned her to stay on topic.

     No wonder the far right is so damn cranky. 
     Honey, I think that by now, since you've been putting this off for quite a while, you've got about the same chance as a pig in a dog race to do anything about this problem you've got. 
     And, there ain't nobody at the Texas State Board of Education who can fix it for you.  Head on over to the men's room at the Minneapolis airport and somebody will be along directly to fix this. 

September 17 - The Texas Democratic Party has a brand spankin' new spiffy website.  Go kick the tires

     And, speaking of facelifts,  Wonkette's fans are wondering about why Tom looks kinda pasty.  Tom had a full facelift about 6 years ago and I'm pretty sure he's had some work done lately.
     His bald spot on top seems to be gone, too.  Plastic surgery or Dorian Gray?  Your choice.

September 17 - Oh sweet irony, rain down on Texas Congressidiot Kevin Brady's little bald empty head. 

Rep. Kevin Brady asked for an explanation of why the government-run subway system didn’t, in his view, adequately prepare for this past weekend’s rally to protest government spending and government services.


The Texas Republican on Wednesday released a letter he sent to Washington’s Metro system complaining that the taxpayer-funded subway system was unable to properly transport protesters to the rally to protest government spending and expansion.

“These individuals came all the way from Southeast Texas to protest the excessive spending and growing government intrusion by the 111th Congress and the new Obama administration,” Brady wrote.

     Oh Honey, when even the conservative Wall Street Journal thinks you're funny, you win some kind of award.  I'm not sure what award that would be, but I'm sure it's gold and has First Place written somewhere on it.

     Thanks to Jane for the heads-up.

Evidently the Hon(?) Mr Brady voted against increased funding for Metro.


September 17 - Y'all, I generally make it a rule not to make fun of people with obvious mental health issues, but sometimes you just gotta ----


     I wonder if Rush Limbaugh could loan Glen Beck some of his pills?  The poor man needs something to calm him down. 
     No, seriously, come on.  You gotta feel bad for someone that disconnected with reality.  He's so out there that his reality is 50 miles from nowhere, by telephone.

September 16 - Bob Dunn, my friend and neighbor has a new website we all can relate to:  Splattastic
     Check it out  - it's truly news you can use. 
     (It's work safe, ironically.)

September 16 - Feliz Deis y Seis de Septembre!
     Here's the deal.  I'm going to the most popular Mexican restaurant in town for lunch and a Margarita with some girlfriends.  We have decided that if we see any Republicans in the restaurant who even look like they might be celebrating Deis y Seis, we're going to go to their table and holler "You lie!" repeatedly. 
     Plus, we're going to tell them that the guy in the back who washed their knives and forks has a hacking cough and a rash because you - yes, you, Mr. Republican - denied him health care. 
     This should be fun!

I had to LOL when I read about your plans at a Mexican restaurant.  As a Hispanic, Chicano, Mexican-American or whatever is PC I say, you go girl!
Feliz Diez y Seis de Septiembre to you. Have a margarita for me.

September 15 - If you are delighting in following Tom DeLay on Twitter, which seems a real appropriate venue for a twit, you know he got a stress facture on his foot.  Probably from carrying around all that guilt; that can be stressful.
     Now before I get indignant emails from local Republicans saying that I wish mild harm on their heroes and I should be ashamed of myself, please allow me to say .... yes and yes. 
     Those who know me know that I have a Tom DeLay voodoo doll.  There's a pin in its foot.  Seriously.  Where would you like me to stick it next?
     No, wait, don't answer that.

Whut reelay happened...
He's soooooo heroic!!!!!


Do you think we should get a prayer circle going?

Am I going to heck for that?


Now he's saying it's just a "pre-stress fracture." Kind of like he's a "pre-excon."

Hey Zeus

Dear Susan,
    I think he's malingering so he won't have to be humiliated on that TV dance show.

Don A

Maybe he just now realized what he looks like ----

It's Chorus Line Tom!

How can those little tiny feet hold up that great big ego?

Tammy from Miami

Susan. It would be nice if Tom could have his fracture taken care of by a prison doctor.


September 15 - My buddy Mike found this and I cannot wait for you to see it. 
     The International Brotherhood and Sisterhood for the Establishment of a Republican Homeland Somewhere Far Away has a website.

Relocation Incentives

It is assumed that a  percentage of the refugees will resist our relocation efforts, and so, we will be offering the following incentives:*

40 Acres

A FEMA trailer (one for every two families)

A Mule

A Bible (Gideon Deluxe Motel Edition)

  One gun, chosen by them, from their collection (no ammo please)

A two year subscription to the Wall Street Journal

All the coins they can carry

     This is the best darn idea I've heard all week.  However, it's only Tuesday so somebody may come up with a pill that makes ignorance painful this week.  That would definitely win.
     Meanwhile, you'll get a Tuesday morning grin from this site.

I was up in the D.C. balcony area when Pete Olsen was arguing that his constituents wanted Credit Card Companies to charge 32% so that they could have access to money when they lost their jobs (as God is my witness). I played with my shoe for a long time before I decided not to throw it at him or at the table in front of him. I thought about throwing it at his desk to make a point, but I don't throw well and I might have beaned him accidentally and faced an assault charge... still I thought it might be worth it. It truth, especially after Joe Wilson's behavior, I should have damn well thrown it.


Dear Susan,
    I think they need one for all of them Libertarian types who seem to think that they don't need anyone else.  Let's give each of them an island all to his/her own self and see how long it takes for them to go extinct.

Don A

OMG! I can already hear the screams of the Republicans!<ROFLMAO>  Whoever put up this website deserves the Congressional Medal of Honor  or SOMEthing. Priceless.


Why do they need a mule?  They already have two jackasses in each family.

Sam Davis

My fellow libruls and I are so grateful to you for sharing The International Brotherhood and Sisterhood for the Establishment of a Republican Homeland Somewhere Far Away!

A bit of snark is never amiss on a day chock full of bigotry, lies and other tidbits from the wingnut nation.


September 14 - Just when you thought it was safe for the President of the United States to address Congress -

Boehner on Democrats’ Resolution on
Rep. Joe Wilson

Washington, Sep 14 -
House Republican Leader John Boehner (R-OH) issued the following statement regarding reports that Democratic Leaders plan to introduce a resolution condemning Rep. Joe Wilson, (R-SC):

“Rep. Wilson has apologized to the President, and the President accepted his apology. Last Thursday, Speaker Pelosi said that she believed it was time to move on and discuss health care. I couldn’t agree more, and that’s why I plan to vote ‘no’ on this resolution. Instead of pursuing this type of petty partisanship, we should be working together to lower costs and expand access to affordable, high-quality health coverage on behalf of the American people.”

     1.  Exactly when did Wilson apologize to the American people for being an internationally acclaimed doofus?
     2.  When did Boehner start caring about "working together" on any damn thing?
     3.  What the hell is "heath coverage" and what the dickens does it have to do with heath care?
     4.  So, Boehner, if we start filling the Senate gallery and heckle you, all we owe you is a private apology?  Hell, I'm game, Babe.
     5.  Tell me, Boehner, what he fool tarnation is wrong with you? 

When the heck did they stop caring about petty partisanship?  I thought that was part of their MO!!!
love ya,
Stephanie up in Arlington

September 14 - Things only a Republican could believe is pretty darn funny.

Jennifer Radcliffe reported in the Houston Chronicle on August 23, an inspiring story of a 50-year-old man overcoming illiteracy.  What amazes me is that he once was among the 52% of adults in Harris county who are illiterate.  That explains a lot.  The majority of adults can only get their information by listening to it, and they seem to favor listening to Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, etc.  Quick, everybody, volunteer in adult literacy programs, and you know what to use for your lesson material.

September 14 - So when they ask me exactly what day it was when I gave up on CNN, I have an answer ---

     There was rude behavior at the MTV awards.  Well, now there's a shocker. 
     And in what possible way is this news anyway?  They feed us "news" that's only of interest to teenagers and then wonder why some of us act like junior high schoolers during a Presidential address to Congress?  
     Cripes, people.  You cannot put Kanye West acting the fool in the same front page location you put World Trade Center attacked.
     If you cannot tell the difference between news and entertainment, then you belong on Fox.
     And that's why CNN just lost its spot on my bookmarks toolbar.

September 14 - Only one week away ---


     Watch Tom DeLay pole dance for money!  Hey, a boy's gotta do what a boy's gotta do for good whiskey, fat cigars, and green fees.  The DeLay lifestyle doesn't come cheap and now that all the lobbyist are gone ---- Daddy needs new Gucci's, Baby.

He's too slimy for a pole dance.


Susan, I have to tell you that I have always enjoyed "Dancing with the Stars", however I don't think that I will be watching it this year (at least until DeLay is voted off). I just don't like to watch snakes slither...

September 13 - Thank you, Sharon ---

Mark Twain said, "If you don't read the newspaper, you are uninformed.  If you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed."

He wasn't around to add the next line.  "If you watch Fox News, you're dyslexic." 


September 12 - Thanks to Sybil.
     I give it a 10, Dick.  It's catchy and you can dance to it.


September 12 - May Sweet Jesus have mercy on the soul of ----

---- the cracker who thought this was a persuasive argument because there's a real special place in hell for them.

There are days I am so afraid for my country.
And so ashamed of people who claim to be "patriotic" Americans. How could any one be so cruel and heartless as to design and/or carry a sign such as "Bury Obamacare with Kennedy"?
Karma's a bitch. And I hope she comes and bites everyone of those million morons on their collective asses.


September 12 - Keith Obermann should give up on the special comments and let Bill Maher handle it from now on.  Best Maher ever.

September 12 - Y'all, listen up, we really need to do something about white Republican men.  They are waaaaay outta control again.

After months of trying to use the legal system to protect herself from her former fiancé, 29-year-old Amanda Ross was found shot to death early Friday outside her home in downtown Lexington.

Hours later, the man she feared, former state representative and one-time gubernatorial candidate Steve Nunn, was taken into police custody at the edge of the Hart County cemetery where his parents are buried.

     If it's okay with y'all, I'd like to be "Would Somebody Please Get Republican Men Under Control Czar."  I think I'm just perfect for that job.  I have a big whip and a chair.

September 11 - We get email from Patrick in Washington Dee Cee.

Texas is still represented by plenty of STOOOPID.  And rude as well.  You know the guy holding the handmade sign?  That is none other than Texas’ Rep. Louie Gohmert.  I absolutely could not believe what happened last night.  I just hope we can get rid of these guys.


NOTE FROM SUSAN:  Patrick, see the dope sitting next to Louis, sleeping?  That's Pete Olson, my very own Congressvarmint.  Making us proud, ain't he?  He's dumber than bean dip.  Also, just between you and me, Olson is in desperate need of a glitter enema.  Lazy, dumb, and goofy looking - the trifecta of the Republican Jackpot.

Reply from Patrick:  I didn't recognize Pete without his sailor suit.

At least bean dip tastes good. If I took a bite of him, I’d have to wash my mouth out with Tequila.


September 11 - We get email, yes we do ---

John Stossel moves from ABC to Fox -- and raises the average IQ in both locations.


September 11 - I've been outta touch for the past 24 hours so I don't know if this is old news or not, but Alfredo has let us know that ---

Joe Wilson's FEC reports during the 2006 election cycle were so bad that the FEC found that the campaign was not in substantial compliance with the Act and the campaign got fined.

     Have a look-see for yourself.  It opens in PDF format.

     And USExpat sent us a new picture of Joe ---

September 10 - Okay, so I sent Joe The Dumber (thank you for that, Sharon) a polite but pointed email at and I get a reply back saying it's an unattended mailbox and ---

I sincerely appreciate your taking the time to contact me. In an effort to better serve you, please visit my website at or click this link provided for your e-mail needs. From my website, I will be better able to respond to your concerns.

     Now, Honey, you just try going to that website or try calling his phone number.  No go. 
     So, I figure the best way to let Joe know that he's earned a passel of hassles from me is to donate to his opponent. 
     Apparently a few others had the same idea.  I gave mine through WesPac because I'm a big ole supporter of Wesley Clark.  You can do the same by clicking right here

Hey, I've been a fan of your "Kiss my big blue butt" page for a while now, and just had to comment on the whole "You Lie" thing.

I just wish us "liberals" had known just shouting "You Lie" at the President is an acceptable response. We'd have been able to get TONS of mileage during Bushs presidency.

"Iraq was involved in 9/11" " YOU LIE!"
"Saddam has weapons of mass destruction" "YOU LIE!"
"No one could have foreseen the levees failing" "YOU LIE!" (and we had actual video evidence of him being TOLD they could fail before he said that one)

I just wish I was good with editing video stuff or I'd MAKE a 'greatest lies of GWB' compilation with "YOU LIE!" after every one.

Tony M.

September 10 - Y'all , it's been 12 hours and already it's made history ----

September 10 - Y'all, I don't mean to be ugly about this but does John Boehner have jaundice?
     Did you see him last night?  It looks like he was going for George Hamilton but got The Great Pumpkin instead.  It's kinda sad to see someone so narcissistic that they'd do that to themselves. 
     Okay, so maybe not sad.  I mean, if he wants to be the color of Tang, that's actually kinda funny. 
     I wonder if he glows in the dark?  However, I am not volunteering to be the one who finds out. 

I know I'm going to h-e-double toothpicks for my irreverence toward such a distinguished member of Congress, but from the first time I saw him, I thought of Boehner as "Orange Boner." And didn't he look like he'd sucked on a lemon last night?
Betty in Georgetown

In my email to Nancy Pelosi, I was going to ask if she could somehow recommend to Mr. Boehner that he lay off the tanning beds for a while; he's beginning to look like an ugly old pumpkin.
I deleted that sentence before sending it. Looking back, I'm kinda sorry I did that.


September 10 - We had some neighbors over last night to watch the President's speech.  I'm glad we did because it was a night for hugs. 
     I was delighted to have President Obama explain liberalism so clearly and brilliantly to Republicans.  I am certain that the end of that speech was not easy to do considering the sophomoric behavior of Republican members of Congress. 
     What's the deal with them waving stuff in the air?  Is this junior high school?  Good Lord, can you even imagine what they would have done if we had done that to George Bush and, dammit, George Bush did lie to us and to Congress.
     My friend David calls them Hatriots.   That has legs.  That's gonna stick, at least around here.
     There was other unacceptable behavior.  Is this the way they'd have their children behave?  Is this the example they want to set?
     And bless South Carolina's heart.  They are on the path to righteously take the title of Nut Country from Texas.  By the way, Joe Wilson's phone number is (202) 225-2452.  His apology is insufficient. 
     And what was that poor guy who gave the response talking about?  The next time he gives a relevant speech will be the first time he does it. 
     Thank you President Obama.  It's great to have you back. 


It seems "Joe the Dumber" committed a court marshal offense against his Commander in Chief when he called President Obama a liar during the speech last night.

Rep Joe Wilson is a Col in the US Army reserves.
Please contact his Commanding Officer and remind him of his duty to maintain discipline in the ranks.
Article 88: Contempt Toward Officials: Any commissioned officer who uses contemptuous words against the President, the Vice President, Congress, the Secretary of Defense, the Secretary of a military department, the Secretary of Transportation, or the Governor or legislature of any State, Territory, Commonwealth, or possession in which he is on duty or present shall be punished as a court-martial may direct.


What a great time to be a Democrat … and be on the right side of history!  Obama did not disappoint and neither did the Republicans.  Your comment about their “responder” was dead on.  What’s up with the guys who pick these people?  Can anyone forget that moving speech by Bobby  Jindal?  And the waving the papers around?  It looked like they were saying” look Ma, I got an A”!  And Wilson?  Guess he thought he was still at one of his town hall meetings. 

As I said, never prouder to be a Dem!   


Hatriots.  Perfect!!!  Thank David for us all.


The Republicants acted like they were at one of those "Tea Parties."  Did you notice how Mitch McConnell looked as if all the clapping was for his when he followed the President into the chamber, or else he just had an unfortunate case of gas.
Your posts are great.  Do you read Margaret & Helen? 

NOTE FROM SUSAN:  Margaret and Helen are who I want to be when I grow up.

So Congressvarmint Joe Wilson is a Colonel in the US Army Reserves!  Well that explains why he shot off his mouth last night.  Any fool can tell you that the two dumbest ranks in the US Army are Second Lieutenant and a full Colonel.

Y'all outta be nice to the boy, he was acting with diminished capacity. At that grade he's had a full frontal lobotomy and not expected to get it reversed until well after he retires or right after he gets his second star.


September 9 - It must be YouTube day here.  This one is well worth 52 seconds of your time ---



September 9 - UPDATE:  He resigns.    

I am deeply saddened that my inappropriate comments have become a major distraction for my colleagues in the Assembly ....

     Duvall, Dude, major distraction?  Ya think? 
     Hon, if you think that only your comments are inappropriate, you've got a real handle on being a Republican. 

You just gotta love Republican men. 

As the OC Weekly reports, 
Duvall has "blasted" efforts to promote gay marriage, and got a 100 percent score from the Capitol Resource Institute, which describes its mission as to "educate, advocate, protect, and defend family-friendly policies in the California state legislature". In March, a spokeswoman for the group called Duvall "a consistent trooper for the conservative causes," adding that "for the last two years, he has voted time and time again to protect and preserve family values in California."


     I mean, that level of dumbbutt has got to be hard to maintain on a daily basis.

What would we do for fun without all those hypocritical "family values" Republicans?

I'll bet his wife stands beside him when he confesses to his "shortcomings."


Duvall's behavior is gross on two levels. 1. He is buying sexual favors with taxpayer dollars (both of his "conquests" were lobbyist) and 2. Voters continue to be suckers to vote for republicans with "family values" and lastly, Duvall is very very ugly.


Jeez, another hypocritical Republican who obviously has trouble keeping his pants zipped up. Why am I not surprised?
And is he apologetic about being a dumba$$ who doesn't understand what fidelity in marriage means?
Nah....he's just sorry his sorry a$$ got caught.
I am so sick of these people. But you know....they are great fodder for Jon Stewart, David Letterman, and Jay Leno.


“I am deeply saddened that my inappropriate comments have become a major distraction for my colleagues in the Assembly…” 

Interesting priorities Assemblyman Duvall has, ain’t they?   Sad about the distraction for fellow legislators, but not a word about being personally humiliated or ashamed or embarrassed for what he did to his wife and kids.   

And these are the right wing nutcases who bleat on endlessly about family values, who wish to deny gays and lesbians equal protection under the law and worry about whether our president is a Kenyan or a socialist or a fascist or something.   Don’t let the door hit you in the butt on the way out, Mr. Duvall. 


Dear Susan,
    I think Mr. Assemblycritter Duvall has some friends in strange places.  When I clicked on the link to his resignation page, my security software wanted to block it because it was "Dangerous". 

    Believe in magic!


From his statement earlier today:

"This is a private matter and I ask that everyone respect the privacy of all involved."

LOLOLOL!  It's an irony-free zone over there in Hypocrisyville.



September 9 - Well, I opened my copy of former State Representative Lloyd Criss's new book, Rough and Tumble: Texas Political Combat, at about 10:30 last night, figuring I'd read a chapter or two and then call it a night.
     I was up most of the night. 
     Literally, I could not put it down.  Among other delights, I met guys named Snake and Butterbean and came to love both of them. 
     I thought I knew all there was to know about Texas' best United States Senator in my lifetime, Ralph Yarborough, but I didn't.  Criss had a ringside seat for the 1970 fight between Yarborough and Lloyd Bentsen, and the sweat and blood spatters across the pages of his book.
     Criss, who is currently the chair of the Galveston County Democratic Party is a colorful character in his own right, and his upbringing prepared him to do battle for progressive Democrats.  You always want Lloyd Criss on your side in a fight.
     You will read about Baptist and Bingo, massage parlor politics, and how brother went against brother in Texas union elections.
     It's just damn fun. 
     Lloyd Criss is a dandy Texas politician and hero of the progressive movement, but, in all honesty, his greatest gift to Texas is his only daughter, Judge Susan Criss of Galveston County.  Nobody will argue with me about that, not even Lloyd Criss.
     If you want to know how politics is done in Texas, Get your copy right here.

     UPDATE: for those of you who are asking, it's on Amazon, too.

September 9 - Flying Duplicity on a Stick, Babe!  Only in Texas would a Super Bowl fieldtrip be sacrosanct. 
     Lord knows that "legendary Dallas Cowboy players" and President Success, George W Bush, have an important message for our schoolchildren.

The Arlington Independent School District, which passed on airing President Barack Obama's live classroom address, has announced that some students will be bussed off campus to hear a message from former President George W. Bush on Sept. 21.

District officials said it's part of a Cowboys Stadium field trip that the North Texas Super Bowl Host Committee invited 28 fifth-grade classes to attend several months ago.

    Texas, I love yew.  Nowhere else on earth would this be considered anywhere near normal.  If I were to call the Arlington School District and attempt to point out this odd set of weirdness, I would surely be told, "What's your problem, Commie?"

I hope those parents that kept their kids out of school used the time wisely.  Maybe some of them made matching sheet and hood sets so they can be fashionable at the next Tea Party/Klan Rally.


Gee, the field trip story just added one more to the 19,998 reasons I already had for getting the heck outta the Dallas area. I could stop counting now that Bush lives in Preston Hollow. That was good for a million bonus points, but some games are too much fun to give up.

Lux et veritas,
Mickey (this morning in wet Wimberley)

I hope they're getting permission slips and providing a meaningful alternative to the field trip.
Arlington's probably football crazy like most of Texas, but there MIGHT be a thinking person among the parents of those children.

September 8 - I heard the President's speech to school children.  I'm a stone-cold total socialist now. 

Found this online --

Hey, if there's anything ignorant fearmongers should fear more than anything else, it's their children actually studying, getting good educations, and learning skills like critical thinking, which will help them reject the kind of thinking the ignorant fearmongers hope to promote.


Hi Susan!  Imagine my surprise when watching local 2 news last night all of a sudden my very own school  board president was being discussed.  Wow!  Did he ever sound upset.  Considering the  way he and his brethren handled the “controversial” broadcast from President Obama today which, btw, was simply dumping the decision off on the poor teachers, I simply had to find out about that letter he sent to Sec of Ed Duncan.  So here it is. As you can see he was pitching what my mama always called a real hissy fit because the Secretary’s letter went to the schools not to the school boards.  Hmm.  Could this be a turf war? How exciting!   

Anyway, in my humble (no pun intended) opinion, what we saw today was what I like to call a real Terri Schivo moment.  The Rs have been more focused on whipping up enthusiasm from their fringes than doing the right thing.  If I were an average non affiliated voter I think I would take one look at what’s been goin’ on the last few days and say “holy cow I don’t want to be a part of that bunch of lunatics!”  and that’s the view from Kingwood.


Boy that letter from the school  board president sure did make him look the fool.


September 7 - Happy Labor Day from Jim Morin ---

September 6 - We get emails from parents ---

I have a great story to share.  Yesterday my son came home from school and in his folder there were two notes.  The first said that the school would not be showing the President's speak on the importance of education due to the loss of instructional time and that the broadcast could be seen at home via the Internet or a rebroadcast on TV.  The second note was about a fundraiser the school is doing for elastic shoe laces.  I asked my son about the fundraiser, because we are always willing to help the PTA supplement the school's program with field trips and additional costs.  My son proceeded to tell me that they watched, in his words, a very long commercial about the shoe lace product.  The irony is killing me.  Shoelaces over the President of the United States.  Come on, SHOELACES.  I'm sure we could watch an infomercial about the shoelaces on the Internet at home.
FBISD Parent

September 6 - I am greatly relieved to know that at least one of the school district in Fort Bend County, Katy ISD, is doing the stand-up thing about the President's speech ----

“As with a Presidential inauguration or other national broadcast event that contributes to the development of respect for our country, Katy ISD will make the President’s address part of each school’s instructional plan,” the district said in a statement Thursday afternoon.

“Allowing parents to opt their children out of listening to our president or any other elected official will be honored as we honor requests of those who desire to opt out of saluting our nation’s flag and reciting the pledge of Allegiance.”

     This is exactly how it should have been handled from the start by every school district.  If you don't respect the office of the Presidency, you can leave the room. 
     Read the comments after the story - the Birthers are eating fire and spitting smoke.  We should have made these people get a permit to procreate. 
     And drop by to send an email to Superintendent Alton Frailey

September 6 - My friend Grace sent me this true story that happened down in Needville ---

 A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote  pasture in Texas when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced
 toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany...

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS- SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Republican Congressman from the U.S. Government", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter.

This is a herd of sheep. .....

Now give me back my dog.

September 5 - Thank you, Stuart Carlson  ---

We've heard from the parents who threaten to keep their kids out of school if their school shows the president's speech.
Why haven't the parents of kids who do want to hear the president speak keep their kids out of school? Works both ways.

I had no idea My Pet Goat was a secret plot to indoctrinate Florida Elementary School children. Now I understand why Dubya couldn't interrupt the reading for news of the attack on the WTC.

Thankfully my youngest graduated Elkins High School last fall. I am tired of FBISD after dealing with it for over 16 years. It is the problem of younger parents now.


September 4 - Oh y'all, it is at times like these that I truly wish that God had made crazy painful.  Then people might do something about it.
     Cynthia Dunbar, member of the Texas State Board of Education who home schools her children and is emerging from a very messy, public and embarrassing divorce from her husband Glen, is hallucinating again. 
     Apparently, she thinks Obama is hiding under her bed or in her closet where her husband used to be so she wears a tin foil helmet and gnashes her teeth a lot.
     She is extremely disturbed about President Obama's speech to school students --

"Understandable concerns may arise that such an address has the potential to open the door to students accepting an unconstitutional level of direct accountability to National Governing Authorities. The fact this presentation is being made at a time when the parents of these students will not be present to monitor the interaction makes it even more problematic.

     National Governing Authorities?  Would that be like, I dunno, Dick Cheney or somebody? 
     Cripes, Woman!, grab hold of them reins and shout "whoa" before you head off to Camp Batcrap Crazy.  Honey, loco is camped out in your eyeballs.  You're driving the wrong herd to market, Babe. 
     Hon, when you are so crazy that you stand out like black roots in bleached blonde hair in Texas, you've accomplished something. 
     Go on, read the whole damn thing; I dare you
     Cynthia, of course, is a founding member of the Belles of Heaven Republican Women's Club but has most of her religion held in a private trust.


Sounds like The new nation of Texass has an entire ready made National Board of Education, ready to go. Has anybody extended them citizenship yet?


Regarding the astro turfers disrupting meetings... behavior that would get you thrown out of a Rolling Stones concert ought to get you chunked out of these meetings too.
Kate oDubh

Dear Susan,

    This blowup about the President's address to school children has me puzzled.  More than one of the "He's tryin' ter brainwarsh ar childruns" crowds has mentioned a "hidden agenda" which is going to "subvert" the children.  It got me to wondering, if it's a HIDDEN agenda, how is it that only some people can see it?  Is this why they don't want you to take the 3-D glasses out of the movie theatre?  Because they give you the power to see things that are hidden?  Or does it only require the X-Ray Specs advertised in Batman comics during the 50's?  Maybe it requires special headgear knit from steel wool to improve reception.
    Whatever it is, it's more contagious than H1N1.

Don A in Pennsyltucky

Let us pray....

Dear Jesus,
Please hurry up The Rapture or at least send The Great Speckled Bird to haul off the self-righteous. We ask this blessing for it would at the same time improve humanity and the chances for Peace on Earth.


September 4 - Okay, wait.  I've got it.  Now it's starting to make sense.
     The reason the Republicans are sooooo scared that President Obama might brainwash their children is because they are fixing to brainwash ours.
     Our State Board of Education (big sigh) has a plan -

Approved textbooks, the standards say, must teach the Texan student to "identify significant conservative advocacy organizations and individuals, such as Newt Gingrich, Phyllis Schlafly, and the Moral Majority." No analogous liberal figures or groups are required, prompting protests from some legislators and committee members.

     Oh crap - we should have seen this coming.

Dear God, what have we gotten ourselves into with the idiots???? Newt et all???? Holy crap!


September 4 - I attended the health care rally at Houston City Hall last night.  I know some folks were worried that the protestors would cause some problems since their President, Glenn Beck, had them all riled up.
     Not to worry about me because my friend David fixed me up with the appropriate warning label. He said that some woman at the rally gave it to him but I find that story highly unlikely because David is the size of Vermont.  He looks like he ate his brother.  He does not need a button to remind people not to hit him.  At least the sober ones.
     Anyway, the rally was very successful and my adopted Congressman, Al Green, may be the best person in America to diffuse protestors and steal their thunder. 
     He told the protestors that they could holler NO throughout his whole speech tonight but when this night is over, he goes back to Washington and he gets a vote in the United States Congress and his vote is YES. 
     I love me some Congressman Al Green. 
     Here's a picture of Bubba with Al Green.  That's Bubba saying Thank You.

     It was great being with good folks.  A lot of my friends from Fort Bend made the trip into Houston and the Fort Bend Democrats Club even donated the candles used at the end of the rally.  Here's  Geri, Steve, and Bev holding those candles.

     I was proud to be a part of that night.  Democrats are good people and we are patriotic about American values, not just about war.
     I need to thank Navid Zanjani and Amber Goodwin for getting word to us about this rally.  I also want to thank my buddy Kathy Soltani for the candle thing and
for all her hard work.  Kathy works so hard that she has to be careful not to drown in her own sweat. 
     For those of you asking about Marsha and wondering if some danged fool hit her again, the answer is that Marsha came through unscathed.  Here's Marsha and Kathy. Bubba and Big Ole David stood guard on Marsha all night long.  In fact, I think she finally got so sick of it that she hit them. 

Isn't it nice to go to an event and find out that what they say is true. The naysayers are much fewer in number, just louder and far more rude. Just round up your Bubbas and your man mountains and go, ladies. Remember, these teabaggers are like rattlesnakes. They are more scared of you than you are of them!


September 3 - One of my Democratic buddies just called me.  He's sick at the stomach.
     Because of "so many angry phone calls" his child's elementary school principal has decided that no one can see the President's speech.  No one.
     As my buddy said, "I thought we were supposed to be teaching our children tolerance, where you politely listen to opinions whether they differ from yours or not." 
     But apparently in FBISD the vile aspects of fringe mobocracy rule the day.  What a disgusting lesson to teach our children.
     And patriotism is trampled on again by the rightwing. 
     What the hell has this man - Barack Obama - done to deserve this level of hate?  Nothing.  Not one damn thing. 
     But his name is not Ronald Reagan. 

     To add hypocrisy to mobocracy, there's this at Media Matters.

On November 14, 1988, Reagan addressed and took questions from students from four area middle schools in the Old Executive Office Building. According to press secretary Marvin Fitzwater, the speech was broadcast live and rebroadcast by C-Span, and Instructional Television Network fed the program “t o schools nationwide on three different days.” Much of Reagan’s speech that day covered the American “vision of self-government” and the need “to keep faith with the unfinished vision of the greatness and wonder of America” but in the middle of the speech, the president went off on a tangent about the importance of low taxes:

     And on the site there's other examples of Reagan preaching rightwing doctrine to American schoolchildren.
     So when did it become wrong for the President to encourage schoolchildren? 

I'm madder than a wet hen. Deer Park has posted on the district website, they will "tape the broadcast" to make sure its appropriate for children.
Wait--it was ok for other Presidents of the United States of America...but not for this one?


From Nick Anderson in the Houston Chronicle

I thought this was a great comment at Nance Greggs journal --

Apparently some of them won't be, as their parents prevent them from attending school for a day rather than risk exposure to a speech by the President of the United States on the topic of education.

Well, you can't be too careful. As one shining light of the GOP once put it, "A mind is a terrible thing to lose" - and encouraging kids to stay in school and get a good education could mean losing them as Republican voters in future.


Honey, it's time to cut Texas loose ....

Seriously.  Texas schools are not going to let children watch the elected United States President's speech?  You and Bubba can come live with me and Jimmy.  We have lots of room...bring the animals.  And Maryland is BLUE.  And we ship all the nut jobs to Texas.   And we can work on that secession idea after you're safely evacuated. 


Please join with me watching Peabrain Olson do everything he can to marginalize this President.  Peabrain Olson admits he is attempting to polarize his little children and brainwash them to believe that anyone who disagrees with them is not a real American.  I wonder if he sings "Let There Be Hate On Earth" to them every night when he puts them to bed.

What a sick man and pathetic parent.

Nancy J.

About the president addressing the kids in school and these people raising **** about it, this is the stupidest, dumbest and most idiotic thing I have ever heard.
I have no kids in school, but here in Victoria, the local dumb***** decided not to let the kids see it.
I can only say another thing before I start typing dirty words, I expect the same thing if Cornyn, Hutchison, Perry or anyone other repub wants to talk to the kids.

I read now that Governor 39% and his would be successor, KBH, are “disturbed” by the idea of a president speaking to school children about getting good grades, staying in school and the obligations of being a good citizen.  Wonder if they were similarly “disturbed” when President Reagan did exactly the same thing – even pushed for his tax cuts – in 1988?  Or perhaps somebody can do some quick research and tell me how many time Rick Perry or Kay Bailey have shown up at a public school to talk about those exact same issues.   Funny thing, but when Kay Bailey made the most recent of apparently never-ending series of announcements about running for governor, notice where she did it?  La Marque high school. 

These people are just shameless – and apparently quite seriously mentally ill.   But note this – on this issue and so many others, the GOP whack jobs are winning.  Lies obviously work better than truth with lots and lots of voters.  


It's brilliant! I knew that Barak Obama would find a way to drive the nuts out of the public taxpayer supported  schools. It will be wonderful- no more fundies trying to change the history taught to the kids,  no more fighting them for trying to force required prayer (the ones of their choosing)  no more creationism crap taught as science.
Now we "Obamabots"  will have the schools exclusively for our children alone.  Of course I worry that all of this might make some children to think that they will  not have to pay attention to Nancy Reagan's "just say no"  We all know how well that worked. 
We gotta get Michelle to deliver an address too, cause that will scare them crapless. 



September 3 - Little Bubba, Almost Attorney at Law, found something interesting about the FBISD letter to parents who are very afraid to let their children watch the duly elected President of the damn United States of America encourage their children to stay in school and make good grades.
     If you will recall from yesterday, it seemed odd that instead of asking parents to opt-out of seeing the President, they asked parents to opt-in, thereby insuring that lost permission slips would keep the numbers watching the President very low.
     Some total idiot at the district put this pdf on their website explaining their idiotic position.  If you go to page three of that pdf, you will find a sample letter.  The sample letter states ----

We understand that some parents may not want their child/children to view the address so we are asking that you fill out the form below and return to your student’s social studies teacher by Friday, September 4th. If you choose for your child not to view the address....

     Not.  The letter says NOT. 
     So that means that some son of a motherless goat in that pathetic excuse for a school district  decided to do the reverse and require a signed permission slip to see the President of the United States of damn America.  Somebody sat down and deliberately decided to change the rules for this President.
     I want to know who that person is because they really, truly need to kiss my big blue butt.

Susan. It is unfortunate that the mother of all those strange Texas people did not stay a virgin.


September 2 - UPDATED. 
What follows is generally known in Texas as a walleyed snot nosed hissy fit.  I haven't had one in a long spell, so it's apparently time to pitch one.
     I know I live in Nut Country.  I know some of the people here are rightwing, uneducated, narrow-minded lunatics.  I understand that. 
     I just sometimes forget the depth of that damn ignorance and meanness.
     The following letter went home today with students at an elementary school in the Fort Bend Independent School District.  I am quoting verbatim, leaving nothing out but the name of the school.

September 2, 2009

Dear Parents,

On Tuesday, September 8, 2009, President Obama will deliver a national address directly to students on the importance of education.  The President will challenge students to work hard, set educational goals, and take responsibility for their learning.  The address will air at 12:00 eastern time and will be broadcast live.  Here at XXX XXXX Elementary, we will record the address and integrate it during our social studies time at 2:00 p.m.  XXX XXX Elementary and Fort Bend ISD are not requiring students to view the address nor will we take any grades during the address.  We understand that some parents may not want their child/children to view the address so we are asking that you fill out the form below granting your permission for your child to view the address.  If you choose for your child not to view the address, they will be secured in a supervised location for the address and will return to class once it is complete.  We are asking that this form be returned on Friday, September 4th so that teachers may plan accordingly in their classrooms.  As always, if you have any questions or concerns, please call the school.

     Let me get this straight:  some parents would not want their children to view an address from the duly elected President of the United States of America telling their children that education is important and that they should be responsible citizens.
     I need the names of those parents because if we ever need an Idiots List, we'll have a place to start.
     Some people would rather their child be put into a secured location rather than view the President of the United States. 
     He's black, you know, and just listening to him might turn their kid into a ... I dunno, a graduate of Harvard Law School?
     At best, this letter is an attempt to polarize children while they are at school.  It is inexcusable on that level alone. 
     More importantly, it is clearly meant to dismiss and marginalize the President of the United States as an optional President. 
     What the hell message is the school sending?  That the President is illegitimate and not worthy of attention.  Oh Lord, if George Bush had done this it would have been required and the kids would have been encouraged to bring pom-poms.
     My letter to parents would have said, "The President of the United States is going to address children about the importance of education.  Little Johnny will sit down, shuddup and listen because it's the damn President of the damn United States of America, and little Johnny might learn good manners and he just might learn something else from this very smart man.  If you think that might hurt Little Johnny, then you need to toughen your wimpy little kid up."
     He was elected fair and square in one of the biggest landslides in recent history.
     Get over it.
     No, I'm serious, you need to get over it. This is getting waaaay outta hand.  You are drawing little children into your hate of this man. 

UPDATE:  It went out to every school in Fort Bend ISD
     The Superintendent can be reached at
(281)634-1000.  Remember to be polite because that's what separates us from the Teabaggers - we have good manners and were not raised in a barn.   Do not give them ammunition that we're a anything but polite.  But, be persistent that you're a proud American who believes in the electoral process.  Insist that they take your name and phone number. 
     Fort Bend ISD takes state funds so feel free to call from anywhere in the state.  It's your money they spent.

Man, I'm pitching a hissy fit right beside you sister.  I suppose this plan is the alternative to keep the kids from missing school on the 8th.   I read on one of my other liberal blogs about a big movement to keep the kids home that day so they won't be indoctrinated into socialism by our democratically elected president.  I'm going to have to tie on a scarf to keep my head from exploding.  I tried to find the blog by googling "keep kids home September 8" and you don't even want to see the crazzzies that came up.  I had to google XXX just to get the stink off.   I hope every one of those kids who missed school on the 8th should be marked for an unexcused absence.

Keep up the good work.
Kathy F.

Publish the name of the school. They sent the letter home, its public record, and they should have to stand behind what they send home.

Note from Susan:  James wrote this before I discovered that it went to every school in the district.  I agree with him. 

If you haven't called, emailed, written, screamed at the Supt, Principal, and the entire damned school board just yet, I have to wonder what you're waiting on.
Tell me who and I will.......and I know you will also.
Bob A.

Two years ago I had lunch with my grandson at his elementary school in Fort Bend Co.  There was a large framed portrait of George W. Bush in the entry hall, beyond the front door.    After lunch I was invited to visit in the classroom, and the screensaver on the TV in the classroom was a portrait of Bush.  Do you think this was brainwashing?


Hey, Susan! I just wanted to let you know that I share your pain (see email below)  I am so mad about this email I can barely stand it.  I guess I didn’t realize that the president of the United States talking to school children about the importance of education was so controversial and possibly infringing on anyone’s rights.  I suppose that would be the well known Right to be Close Minded and Ignorant!  Thanks for putting words to my anger!! 

In Pain in Kingwood

Please note the following announcements and news items:

As you may be aware, President Obama will be addressing the nation's school children over the internet on September 8, 2009. As classes are well-engaged in curriculum at this point in the new year, Humble ISD will not be directing a district-wide viewing of this Presidential address.

Rather, we will treat this address as we have treated Presidential Inaugurations and other national event broadcasts. Principals, in collaboration with teachers, will employ their instructional autonomy and use their professional judgement to determine if the broadcast enhances the planned curriculum and instruction in the classroom to decide whether to view the broadcast or not.

As we have done in the past, if any parent or student requests to be excused from the activity, campuses will honor this request and provide the opportunity to engage in another constructive opportunity on the campus for the duration of the broadcast.


NOTE FROM SUSAN:  Let us all pray that Humble ISD is not teaching spelling during this "another constructive opportunity."  I kinda feel certain that the President can at least teach someone to spell "judgment" correctly.
     Humble ISD can be contacted at 281-641-1000.  You might ask for their address to drop off a dictionary or maybe a fifth grader who can spell. 


     Why are a handful of bigoted, hateful, unAmerican people being allowed to disrupt the American way?  This proves that they are raising a new generation of hateful people.


I'm with you, Susan. I sent a very pointed, direct email to FBISD, asking them basically WTF is wrong with them. Are they against education? Are they against the students hearing a message about education from the President?
I told them I'm glad I no longer work for them and I'm ashamed I ever did.
Bunch of rightwing, knuckledragging freaks.
They're probably kissing Tom DeLay's butt right about now.
Or Pete Olson. Same difference.


Even the conservative old Houston Chronicle has picked up on the idea that this is being done for political reasons.


September 2 - Lovers of satire, your prayers have been answered ---

     We they even get around to talking about the damn socialized liberries. 
     Libraries  let the government buy books, thereby harming capitalism in the publication industry and then they let any damn commie who wants to come read the books owned by the government.  That's socialism. 
     It has to stop.  And, in my humble opinion, Sean Hannity and Ann Coulter should be the first to demand that their books not be housed in socialized libraries in America. 

     Thanks to David for the heads up!

September 2 - We get email, yes we do.


Here is the latest poll about what Americans want in Health Care. Pay particular attention to the Republican take on it.

Sounds like Barton is another candidate for the Legislature of the new nation of "Texass".

Can you recommend a quiet, utterly useless part of Texas that the state can apportion to these folks for their new country. Then we can send them there and do exactly what they want. Leave them the hell alone!


They can have Abilene, Midland/Odessa and most of Lubbock. 

Anybody got any better ideas?



After the War Between the States, lots of unhappy secessionists took off to Brazil. I understand there are many of their descendants still  living there and "keeping up the Old Southern traditions". (I have amused myself for moments on end speculating as to just what that might mean). I'd like to see this band of modern-day "rebels" out of the country since they profess to hate it so. Could they be taught Portuguese and encouraged to head to South America?


The utterly, useless part of Texas I live in, Victoria, can be of use to some of these guntoters.

How about Oklahoma?  Nobody else seems to be using it.


Dear Susan,
I found this map for Texans wishing to secede.  I hope they find this helpful.


September 2 - My buddy Wanda sent this Handy Guide to What Glenn Beck is really saying.
     I also believe that these folks are not going to be happy until there's bloodshed.  You know it's a craptacular day when Glenn Beck is happy.

September 1 - Y'all have heard me tell Texas Congressvarmint Smokey Joe Barton to kiss my big blue butt before now.  However, he's earned a hoot to go along with it now.
     Smokey Joe fails to realize two truths:  (1) elections have consequences, and (2) you should never make threats with your mouth that your butt can't cash.


     Now you folks from foreign states understand why we consider him to be charmingly unencumbered by IQ points. 

I just lost a few IQ points watching that clip of that idiot.  He really thinks the Rethugs are going to take over the House because health care reform passes without their help?  Permanent Majority, my a$$.

September 1 - I think I might be over the legal limit of buddies named Bob, but my friend and neighbor Bob Dunn is back tending his blog and has done some great reading.  This one will make you grin, and this one will scare crap outta ya

Susan, you can have all the pals named Bob as you want as long as they all can write as well as these two.


September 1 - My buddy El Jefe Bob over at The Daily Hurricane got himself his first guest blogger - Howard Dean.
     And if you haven't played at El Jefe's Smeep Forum, you're missing a lot of fun.

September 1 - The Texas Observer has done us all a huge favor.
     They went to the Crazyfest in front of the Capitol in Austin so you wouldn't have to.  You never know, this stuff might be contagious and until they prove otherwise, I ain't getting near these people. 

WATCH the video where folks in cowboy hats call for another Texas revolution!
READ about the Texas Nationalist Movement's readiness for a new civil war!
SEE the photos of the crowd rallying with portraits of President Obama in white face!
IGNORE  these rightwing extremists at your own risk!
You can count on The Texas Observer.

     You can count on the Observer.  Yes, you can.



















Welcome to the website formerly known as The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.

My name is Susan DuQuesnay Bankston.
I live in Richmond, Texas, in heart of Tom DeLay's old district.  It's crazy here.  No, seriously, it's triple z crazzzy.

I used to be an independent voter, but that all changed when I got to know a few local Republicans.  They are meaner than 10 acres of snakes and have the ethical compass of a bank robber. 

So, I decided that they could just Kiss My Big Blue Butt.

A lot of what I post here has to do with local politics, but you probably have the same folks in your local government.

This ain't a blog.  Blogs are way too trendy for me.  I've been doing this since 1992, so I'm used to it even if you ain't. 

Email me and I'll find a place to put it if I like it.