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March 31 - Can't wait for tomorrow?


Was that one of the relatives of a Python doing the voice over?  Here is something to ponder for your upcoming dinner with the scientific illiterati.


March 31 - This is an official wall eyed snot nosed hissy fit.
Okay, here's the deal. 
     Texas sucks.
     When this is the first news I see this morning ---

       ---- then it's obvious that I live in the formerly Great State of Texas.

The bill, which passed the Senate Finance Committee 6-5 with little discussion, is scheduled to come before the full Senate floor Wednesday. The House is working on its own budget bill.

The ban is considered to have a chance to prevail because it’s contained in a larger bill moving forward. Opponents said the policy should be fully debated in stand-alone legislation.

Sen. Steve Ogden, R-Bryan, the provision’s author, accused critics of exaggerating the provision’s impact, saying it makes “explicit what was already the implicit state policy.”

“In absence of clear state policy, the rider just says we’re not going to use state funds to destroy human embryos,” said Ogden. “Many Texans have moral concerns about this type of experimentation on human life.”

     This is the biggest pile of poopie del polo I have seen in a long damn time. 
     And shame on Judith Zaffirini and Eddie Lucio for voting to let it out of committee even "with reservations."
     Let me tell them what I have reservations about:   no mother - NO mother - should ever have to watch her child die a slow and painful death in her arms.  That is the real obscenity behind this effort. 

Not  only does TX suck, so does VA --- with Dems like these, who needs Republicans?

I don't think VA is for lovers anymore. If it is, they'd better be sure to take all precautions to avoid pregnancy and the resulting children. 
This is all over our news this week. Don't read it if you can't take a second snot nosed  hissy fit in one day. Do they really care more for unused frozen embryos than they do for real live children?


March 31 - Ah, baseball season --


March 30 - Okay, I have a date for the adventuresome among you.  Our triple z crazzzy member of the State Board of Education and founding member of the Belles of Heaven Republican Women's Club - and one of my neighbors! - Cynthia Dunbar has .... ta da! .... an event.

"State Board of Education member Cynthia Dunbar will speak on the controversial textbook that may affect children at the April 2 Austin County Republican Party meeting. Dunbar represents District 10 on the board. The meeting starts at 6:30 p.m. at Tony's Restaurant in Sealy. Dutch treat meal is available from the buffet or menu, but is not required. The meeting is open to all."

     I suspect that I am included in the term "all."  You probably are, too. 
     I'm strongly considering going with proper instrumentation to perform scientific measurements of how much ignorance, homophobia, racism, paranoia, and hate can be put into one room before it collapses on itself. 
     To hell with the hadron collider, Hon, you introduce me into that room with questions about how Ms. Dunbar walks her talk, and we can accelerate some particles.
     Dunbar believes - honest to God, I am not making this up - that a terrorist attack on America during the first six months of an Obama administration "will be a planned effort by those with whom Obama truly sympathizes to take down the America that is threat to tyranny."
     And she's convinced that Obama is going to declare martial law just any minute now.  Plus, she's still worried about Janet Reno's black helicopters.  Okay, so I made up the Janet Reno part, but sometimes I do wonder whatever happened to that conspiracy theory. 
     To those who are considering attending:  When asked to retract her hate filled statements about Barack Obama, Ms. Dunbar said, and I am quoting exactly, "Right now, we're still in America and we still have freedom of
speech, and unless that's changed, I'm not aware of it."  Okay, so I know that's not grammatically correct and her syntax suck, but I think her intention was that she believes in free speech.  Let's see if she can walk that talk.
     A warning, though - the Belles of Heaven will be there and they can cause serious bodily injury with their Christian sarcasm, viciousness, and acrylic painted fingernails.   Plus, these are the people who believe in their God-given right to carry guns anydamnwhere they want to.  Just so you know.

Dear Susan,
    Did Ms. Dunbar (wasn't Dunbar one of the nutcase pilots in Catch-22?) happen to reveal the title of the "controversial textbook"?

Don A

Dear Don,

I'm not for sure, but I believe it is entitled "Seventh Grade Math."  The correct answer to one of the long division problems is 666, which, of course, proves that Barack Obama is  a Muslim answerable only to Osama bin Laden and that Jennifer Anniston is a tool of the devil.


Susan, you should invite Michele Bachman as your guest to the Austin County Republican Party meeting. I'd pay to see her and Cynthia Dunbar try to out-hate speech each other. It's guano loco women like them that sometimes make me wish I was born a bird so I could crap on their heads. In public.

Susan, if you go I'll buy a ticket!!!!  However, I am scared that she will put some kind of curse on you.  She has the power to do that, you know.  Just look at what she did to her husband .... errrr ..... ex-husband.

Sugar Lander

If you do go, make sure your irony meter is heavily shielded.  I doubt there are more than a half-dozen operable ones left in the entire state, maybe in the world, since the overload from the Republicans during the past 3 months or so.  Mine burned out long ago.

Muh Felklow Murkuhn

March 30 - Okay, so it's Monday and you have spring fever.  Here's a treat:  another really cool website I have on rss feed.  It you need a little daydreaming break, check this entry

March 28 - We get theories ---

Dear Susan,

The drought did not end here in Lake Jackson.  No sireeeee!  We got little rain.  If you watched it on radar you saw the storms literally split over Lake Jackson. This phenomenon  has been going on for a few years now,  I have come up with my own explanation: Ron Paul.

For all the folks who don't know,  Ron "we don't need no stinkin government" Paul lives here in Lake Jackson and represents all the fine folks of Brazoria County.

You see our own special Libertarian who hates public school, medicare, social security, public housing and anything that might remotely smack of government itself is ruining our weather.  While he and his wife may take advantage of government insurance and pension benefits he thinks the rest of us should not.

How does that affect the weather?  Well even the God, Goddess or Great Spaghetti Monster In The Sky can no longer take it!  The hypocrisy of denying others while you live off the salary of tax payers and then proceed to tell them to go pound sand is too much.

I have a theory that unless we rid ourselves of this so call congress person the drought will continue, heck we barely got a inch during Ike.

Anyway that is my theory and I am sticking to it.



I really enjoy the blog, but Ron Paul has never participated in the congressional pension program. In a world full of hypocrites, I feel like he should at least get some credit for putting his money where his mouth is.
Take Care,

Well good for Dr. Paul Steve!  As soon as the rest of us become congressman, doctors, lecturers on speaking tours and get paid to write I am sure we too could give up our pensions.  I don't know, does he get paid for those talk shows too?

Till  then I think I'll make another cake for the bake sale fund raiser this weekend for yet another resident of Brazoria County.  How silly are they not to have had enough money, or a good enough job to pay for that bout of cancer?

Some how Steve I think it is real easy to tell folks what they don't need from the government when you have plenty.  For folks worried about medical. food and shelter maybe not so much.


March 27 - Thank you, Gary Markstein

March 27 - I told you this would happen if we let the members of the State Lege get together in one place.  But would you listen? Noooooo.....

Oozing Through Texas Soil, a Team of Amoebas Billions Strong

After producing superlatives like the world’s biggest statue of a jackrabbit and the nation’s most unpopular modern-day president, Texas can now boast what may be its most bizarre and undoubtedly its slimiest topper yet: the world’s largest known colony of clonal amoebas.

Scientists found the vast and sticky empire stretching 40 feet across, consisting of billions of genetically identical single-celled individuals, oozing along in the muck of a cow pasture outside Houston.

     So now we've got us a famous oozing amoeba ranch - just what we need to go along with our oozing crazy State Board of Education -  and even Rice University can't figure it out. 
     The stars at night are big and bright ... Deep in the heart of Texas ... The sage in bloom smells like ... eeeccckkkk giant oozing amoeba!

I think it's wholly inaccurate to compare the lege with this ooze that "...can carry out stunning feats of cooperation...".

March 26 - Well, there's good news from Texas today.
     We won't have to teach science huddle around a campfire with chicken entrails, gree-gree, chubracabra howls, and tea leaves as our textbooks.

Proponents of an amendment that would mandate teachers explain the “strengths and weaknesses” of the theory of evolution to Texas high school students suffered a defeat Thursday morning, when the measure failed during a preliminary vote. 

The vote was 7-7, and the amendment needed a simple majority in order to pass. However, the board still has to make a final vote on Friday and depending on political pressure, the decision could change in the next twenty-four hours.

     But the fat lady is only warming up.  She will still have a whole legislative session to sing. 

Though the board’s vote is significant, it is not the final word on this issue. Rep. Wayne Christian (R-Center) has sponsored a bill that would make the “strengths and weaknesses” language in classrooms and textbooks law.

“If it fails, I will push my legislation through,” Christian said before the vote.

     So, if Wayne Christian has his way, Texas license plates will have to read: "Insanity:  It's not Just Fun, It's the Law."

     It's amusing to me that the rightwingers are claiming this is a First Amendment right for teachers.
     You know, we don't allow math teachers to say, "Well, some people believe that 2 and 2 are 4, but they might be wrong.  It might be 5.  Who knows?"
     We do not allow English teachers to teach that split infinitives are only a suggestion, not a grammatical rule. 
     We do not allow Spanish teachers to teach in German or geography teachers to make up their own maps.
     The First Amendment does not cover talking voodoo stuff in a classroom. 

You have a Representative named Wayne Christian sponsoring a bill that requires explaining the strengths and weaknesses of Darwinian theory?
Wayne "Christian"? ...Really? Is that his birth name for real? You're kidding, right?
PS: Any science teacher worth their salt will explain this stuff anyway. It's just that people like Mr. Christian are too dumb to understand it.

Dear Steve - I have decided that God loves irony.


The sad thing about Steve's P.S. is that there are a large number of Texas teachers who believe that dinosaurs and humans were roaming the earth at the same time...

Don A.

(Click the little one to see the big one)


March 26 - Cripes, y'all!  The drought has ended.

     Pea sized hail already and it ain't over.

March 26 - Oh snap!
     I can safely go to Commissioner's Court now.


     And ---- Dude, I could get rich renting these suckers in the viewing balcony of the Texas Lege! 
     Creepy, huh?

March 25 - We get email from other suffering Texas Congressional Districts ---

Jeb Henserling is claiming the tanking economy is Democrat's fault since it happened after 2007 when Dems became majority in the house. Apparently the previous 7 years had nothing to do with it. Where do you start?

Dale, Mesquite

March 25 - Best thoughts about yesterday's news shredding at the Houston Chronicle?  Former newspaper editor and gentleman farmer Bob Dunn.  Good reading.
     I guess worse than having only one newspaper in a town is only having half of one.

March 25 - To the shock of those involved in hoping to have a George W. Bush Liberry in Texas, not everyone is for sale.
     Even for one million dollars.

Southern Methodist University has offered to pay former condominium owners more than $2 million to settle a lawsuit over some land slated for the George W. Bush Presidential Library, but there's no deal so far.

The offer, which was disclosed for the first time Tuesday, would have given two former condominium owners more than $1 million each to settle the case and drop their claim to the land.

But it wasn't accepted, and both sides in the long-running case have recently beefed up their legal teams in anticipation of a jury trial, which is now delayed until October.

     Boy Howdy, this may be the only chance we get have Bush under oath.  I'd pay cash American money to see that!
     I'm considering moving to Dallas and taking my chances on getting in that jury pool. 

March 25 - Thank you, Mike Luckovich -

March 25 - Remember how we used to take Tom DeLay down to the river and dunk him every so often so he could get born again again?  Remember how afterwards we had to skim nasty for a week?
     I can go you one better:
     Newt Gingrich just converted from Baptist to Catholic, which makes him a Baptholic or maybe a Cathotist.  Or maybe he just stayed an Idiot to keep matters simple.
     We suspect he did this so he can drink and dance.  However, that still leaves the whole sex thing.  And for Newt, that's a whole thing. 
     Newt twittered that he was shocked, shocked I tell you, that Notre Dame invited President Obama to speak because "his policies are so anti Catholic values."
     Resident Smarty Pants Matt Cooper responded that "thrice divorced pro death penalty" Newt sure can talk the talk. 
     Yep, that's Newt Gingrich on moral values.
     (Thanks to Delores for the heads-up!)

March 24 - Fluffy pale pink hibiscus in bloom right out the door to my study. 

     These suckers are 8 inches across.  Everybody say Amen, Spring!

March 24 - You know your small town is getting urban when you see this at the WalMart parking lot ---

     It says, "Have Acupuncture.  Will Travel." 
     Hell, I needle locals for free.

March 24 - They are lower than a cockroach's belly.

As credit markets froze, banks loaned millions to insiders

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Banks nationwide hold $41 billion in loans to directors, top executives and other insiders, a portfolio that experts say should be stripped of secrecy.

Insider lending to directors is particularly troublesome because it could cloud the judgment of people charged with protecting shareholders and overseeing bank management, the experts say.

     There has to be a real special place in hell for these guys.  But until then, I'd like there to be a real special place for them in the Federal Bureau of Prisons.   

March 23 - Oh lookie, here's another "degree" our county judge Boss Bob Hebert can get!

Bill in Texas would allow creationists to grant Masters of Science degrees

     My friend Steve in New York sent this, allowing as how Texas has more rightwing religious nuts than you can shake a stick at.  He's right.
     Now, call me nuttier than squirrel poop (and you won't be the first), but I'm wondering what the curriculum looks like for a Master's in Science in Creationism.  I mean, these folks can't understand The Good Book so what makes anyone think they could understand Galileo or Newton? 
     Is your thesis a crayon picture of Jesus petting a baby dinosaur? 
     It's Texas, where the Fundamentalists and the fire ants are taking over. 

     I thought just for the heck of it, I'd add a photo from my large collection of Actual Churches I Have Actually Seen.  This one was in Georgia.  Click the little one to get the big one because you wouldn't want to miss the drive-thru options of "Miracles, Healings, or Deliverance." 
     Can I have Healings with a side of slaw?


PBS (NOVA) has repeatedly shown the hypocrisy:

When the only references for these 'degree granting institutions' have 'Intellegent design' as their curricula, anything is possible. These 'Fort Bend Republicans' continue to fish in a stagnant gene pool.

Most probable is a 'whine' from the 'sour grapes'.


Hi, Susan,
I am sure I recall that the degree in creationism is given after you prove you can successfully cure the afflicted of their worldly goods and thereby release them from the temptations of the flesh.   Honors work in tent erections follows.  Yeh, in every sense of the words.

from Ruth

A while back some people got all upset about Obama's use of  "lipstick on a pig" trying to spin it in to an insult of Sarah Palin. Now they are really defining  the expression  with this "Masters of  Science in Creationism".


Is "Master's in Science in Creationism" an oxymoron, an oxen for morons, or an oxen moronism?



The final exam is pretty tough...


“Examine me, O LORD, and prove me; try my reins and my heart.”



Take a look at this web site  

Notice what is missing?   How about information on accreditation?  Hmmmmm...none mentioned.   

Yet at least one counseling center operator (and former Houston Chronicle blogger) bills himself as having a “Doctorate Degree in Psychology” from this place.   

 Yes, but from an unaccredited store front bible college.   A worthless piece of paper.  He gets away with it because Texas law does not regulate “educational” places calling themselves “institutes”.      

I thought bearing false witness violated one of those Commandments Christians say they follow. 


March 23 - Oopsy Daisy there, Pistol Pete.
     Alfredo gives us a heads-up that the FBI is investigating Texas Republican Congressvarmint Pete Sessions.

LAKE PLACID — The Federal Bureau of Investigation has issued a subpoena for all Olympic Regional Development Authority documents related to the Congressional Winter Challenge that former U.S. Rep. John Sweeney used to attend every year in Lake Placid.

--- yada yada yada ---

    Sweeney and U.S. Rep. Pete Sessions of Texas were the only congressional attendees in 2006, although other members of Congress had attended in the past. Also in attendance were former and then-current Sweeney staffers, family and friends, Power Authority officials and guests, and lobbyists, some of whom had contributed to Sweeney’s campaign, according to the Syracuse Post-Standard and Associated Press. Most of the guests had no influence over federal funding for ORDA, but their getaway was covered by the taxpayers.

     You know, my kindergarten teacher should be in charge of hollering at Congresscritters.  I'm serious.  She told us, "Don't take things from strangers, play nice and share."  That seems simple enough.

March 23 - If you want to start your week off by standing up and shouting, "Amen!" at your internet machine screen, click here and bask in one damn fine editorial. 

Of all the wise observations in Ecclesiastes about seasons -- times to be born and to die, to weep and to laugh, to love and to hate -- the wisest for this moment in history may be the one about speaking and keeping silent. It's tailor-made for U.S. Republicans in the party's far-right wing, and for their fans at home and abroad.

In short, it is now time for the rabid right to shut up.

     And it gets better from there.
     Thanks to Carl for passing this along, knowing I needed a kick start this morning.

March 22 - Those of us in Fort Bend felt the cold devil's breath on the backs our necks when County Judge Boss Hawg Hebert allowed that he believed property values had gone up in this county. 
     Like hell you say, Boss Bob?
     Hebert is preparing us for the cruelest tax of all - saying that our property values have increased when they haven't. 
     Politicians often make statements like Hebert did to send a message to the Central Appraisal District that we need to increase property values instead of the tax rate because .... you guessed it, Boss Bob is up for re-election next year.
     That way, Boss Bob can say, "I didn't increase your taxes."  What he means is that he didn't increase your tax rate, but his buds on the CAD falsely increased your valuation, making you pay more taxes.  Taxes that Hebert spends to give his other friends county contracts to build buildings we do not need.
     It's typical Boss stuff.  Hebert is slicker than a eel dipped in axel grease.
     A local citizen sees this backdoor tax increase coming, too, and sent the following letter to the county commissioners:


For the record, I am a property owner in Missouri City.  I live within the boundaries of Pct. 4 and within the city limits of Missouri City. 

I have heard and read with dismay in the past week or so how Mr. Hebert has been “warning” homeowners in Ft. Bend County that we can expect our assessed valuations to rise this year.  I believe one of the statements I heard was “we will have good (increased) values this year.”   And then in the same article I read where Mr. Hebert is telling all the county employees to be prepared to have budgets for 2009 that are 5 to 10% lower (or more).   

I bring this to your attention now as I just read an article in the Houston Chronicle that maybe you all have missed.  Please go and read the following article: 

After you have read this article, I would appreciate some comments from any or all of you on how ANY of you can even remotely think that housing prices and property values in Ft. Bend have done anything but go DOWN from 2008.  I can guarantee that if FBCAD sends me a valuation notice that is anything but flat compared to 2008, I will be first in line to protest it.  I can assure you that everybody in this county will be right there with me.   If 84% of the valuations in Harris County will be down or stagnant, I just cannot fathom how FBCAD and you the Commissioner’s Court can even think of trying to float the notion that our valuations will be higher! 

Where I grew up and where I moved here from the taxing system is different.  The CAD sets a value.  The various tax rates are then adjusted up or down, as required, so that the net effect on your tax bill would be neutral.  THEN if any agency needs more money, they must hold public hearings and justify why they need the additional funds.  The way it seems to work here lends itself to you (and all taxing entities) getting an increase in your revenues just due to rising property costs.  You all can tell the public that you did not raise their taxes (rates).  But my tax bill has gone up and up and up since moving here.   

I am interested in your comments, and will await them with bated breath, 

David C. Atwood

     The only mistake I can find in Mr. Atwood's letter is the word "Gentlemen," because there ain't no gentlemen involved in this thing - there's only hookers and pimps. 

March 22 - My friend Kary sent me this Obstructionist Republican LONE STAR CLOWN.

     You can find it on Flickr right about here.





March 22 - You know how some of our members of the Texas Lege want to do steroid testing on Texas student athletes?  How 'bout we do IQ testing on members of the Lege first? 

At a hearing yesterday of the House Committee on Human Services, Elkins and other members of the panel considered more than two dozen bills related to Medicaid and the Children’s Health Insurance Program.

Three hours into the hearing, Elkins asked: “What’s Medicaid?”

The Houston Republican continued: “I know I hear it — I really don’t know what it is. I know that’s a big shock to everybody here in the audience, OK.”

He could have kept quiet. He could have asked an aide. He could have Googled it. Instead, he asked the question into the microphone in the middle of a public hearing.

     I bet he knows what "campaign contribution" means. 

proving, once again, when the Texas Lege is in session, many a village is missing its idiot.



If IQ testing was a prerequisite, all the Republicans and a good chunk of the Democrats would fail.


What is Medicaid?  We can excuse a Republican state rep for not knowing of such matters.  If it doesn’t involve opposing a tax increase or preventing  a gay or lesbian from getting married, or a person without a drivers license wanting to vote, it is an irrelevant matter. 

We lived in the Commonwealth of Virginia when George Allen was governor.  His secretary of education – a perky little blonde who brought her husband and her little white poodle to staff meetings – asked one of her staff  “what’s this GED you are talking about?”   We know the story is true – a good friend of ours was in the room. 

How in god’s name do these people find their way to their desks in the morning? 


March 19 - Thank you Tom Toles.

March 19 - We get an email plea.  I agree with Cheryl and will try to name names at AIG instead of being mad at the company. ----

Hi Susan,

Please, I'm begging you, dial down the AIG hate a bit.  I work at AIG, as do a lot of other good people.  We don't make the big bucks, and are worried about what will happen if we lose our jobs - every day.  I agree big bonuses are out of line, but those big shots are NOT the ones here in Houston taking the hits.  We have people with picket signs outside of our building and news crews to film them.  We now have police on campus to protect us.  Our building has been attacked, people are yelling at us in stores.  This is wrong.  While a FEW people caused this problem, thousands of us work for AIG.  We had nothing to do with the problems. AIG owns a LOT of companies - MOST of them make money - ONE of them caused this mess.  I believe AIG will pay back the government.  I pray I still have a job at the end of this mess.
Cowering in Houston....

I'm with Cheryl! Today we got a call from our B of A guy, letting us know his job is disappearing as of April 2. We've had investment advisors over the years who have been not nearly as honest and helpful as this guy has been. In fact, he's the main reason we've stuck with B of A in the last couple of years. I'm sick thinking that really
promising young people like Neil are losing their jobs because of things people way above them have been party to.


March 18 - It's amazing what a little new blood on commissioner's court can do.  He can leap tall tales in a single bound! 

  A bill that would move up the time when the Fort Bend County Sheriff’s Office could implement a civil service system received the disapproval of the county Commissioners Court Tuesday.

    Members of the court voted 4-1 in favor of a non-binding resolution expressing their opposition to House Bill 1184, introduced by District 27 State Rep. Dora Olivo,D-Rosenberg, that would allow members of the Sheriff’s Office to vote on implementing such a system as early as next September, instead of waiting until 2011, as current law requires.

yadayadayada ... and then ....

  Precinct 1 Commissioner Richard Morrison cast the lone vote against the resolution.

     Thank you, Commissioner Morrison.
     My question is this:  why do we have to wait a year to treat people right?  Why does the sheriff's department want to continue a tradition of cronyism for two more years?
     County Judge Boss Hawg Hebert has some cock-n-bull theory that they need a year's training to learn how to play fairly and act decent.  Knowing this sheriff's department, Hebert might be right. 
     However, Hebert quotes some hummm... let's see,  statistics ... yeah, that's the picture, statistics ... that  the first year brings the most complaints.  He just made that up.  I've looked for a whole damn day and it doesn't exist.  Even if it does, what the fool tarnation difference does that make? 
     So, the new guy on the court hasn't been tainted with vendor money or Hebert's crazy reasoning.  Hell, on a clear day, Morrison can see forever.
     Way to go, Morrison.  Being contrary was why you were elected.  Staying contrary will keep you there.
     By the way, somebody needs to whack Grady Prestage upside the head.  You're a Democrat, Grady, so start acting like one instead of Dumbo the Rightwing Republican Elephant.  Grady, if civil service ain't worth going to the mat for, what the heck is?

March 18 - Alfredo sent me this link and I just keep looking at it.  And lookin' again, and again.  Holy Mother of Equal Justice in a Hula Skirt, that's a nice headline.
     Hope to see more like very soon.

March 18 - Okay, file this away when our county commissioners vote to give PBS&J a contract, because they will.  And the reason they will is that PBS&J is throwing money at them in the form of campaign contributions. 

They've been associated with the Orlando-Orange county Expressway Authority since 1982 - a deal that's been worth over $100 million to PBS&J. Audits and grand jury reports haven't been kind to the engineering firm. But it's the case of a $15 million mistake that may sever the ties between PBS&J and the OOCEA.

A 2007 internal audit of the Orlando-Orange County Expressway Authority shows that they were given misleading information about their new headquarters by engineering firm PBS&J - including a $15 million mistake about how much the authority would be able to charge for leasing space in the new $24 million building.

     Now, I don't know about you, but I kinda figure that a $15 million mistake on a $24 million building is kinda bad.  I mean, you'd think someone would buy a pocket calculator and catch that one. 
     Just add it to the honkin' bad business that PBS&J has pulled all over the place.

March 18 - Arrrrgh.  Grumble, grumble ....
     Tom DeLay's pals saved him from another one by saying - along totally partisan lines - that "funds" are not the same as "a check."
     According to the Republican judges on the Third Court of Appeals, the average politician in Texas could not possibly know the difference between "funds" and "checks."  You can't buy a politician with "funds," but if you pay by check, everything is hunky dorey.
     So the Republican majority on the Third Court kept it out of the hands of the full court for a hearing.  
     You know, for a man who whines about activist judges, Tom DeLay sure readily accepts their generosity when needed. 
     I guess this just proves the old saying that if your lawyers can postpone a trial long enough, everybody will die or the law will change. 

Judge Priest got a new web site, and has promised to keep it updated as the case progresses, including the Third Court of Appeals, apparently:


Hi, Susan, the wingnuts are determined to keep our courts a ways away from that justice they're so afraid of.   see here

from Ruth

March 17 - Okay, so it's not a bonus.  It's hush money.

AIG paid 73 employees bonuses of more than $1 million, New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo informed Congress in a letter Tuesday.

Cuomo also wrote that 11 of the employees no longer work for the company. The largest bonus paid was $6.4 million and seven more people received more than $4 million each.

"Until we obtain the names of these individuals, it is impossible to determine when and why they left the firm and how it is that they received these payments," Cuomo wrote to a congressional committee.

     It's obscene. 
     I agree with President Barack Obama that this is about values.  Greed is not an American value. 
     These people know what they are doing is wrong, but they do it anyway.  Because they can. 
     If all Congress can do to stop it is to tax their bonus back to the treasury, I'm all for it.

Robert Reich pointed out the other night that the U.S. taxpayers own an 80 percent share of AIG.  He suggested that rather than get our collective panties in a twist over paying bonuses to bone-heads, we shareholders simply spin off the offender's division, and let it go into bankruptcy.  Or, he slyly suggested, give it to the North Koreans. 

From down here in Sinaloa, I have a better idea.  Give it to our local cartel.  Chapo Guzman is a pretty good businessman, and knows how to get rid of incompetent employees... making the cuts from the top. 


March 17 - The granddaughter of Rose Given wishes you a Happy St. Paddy's Day!

     I'm sure our President, Barack O'Bama will be celebrating, too.
     Which reminds me of a story I've been needing to tell you.  It's a story that could only happen in the deep south.
     Ole Bubba and I were sitting in NOLA one fine evening last Fall and Bubba was wearing his red Obama baseball cap. 
     We noticed an attractive lady at the next table smiled at us several times during dinner.  We returned the smile because we're in the deep south and people just do that, plus we figured she was a Democrat. 
     When she and her friend finished eating, she dropped by our table and said, "Roll, Tide, Roll."  At that point she saw Bubba full face and realized his hat didn't say BAMA;(pronounced "BAM uh" for you Yankees) it said OBAMA.
     It took us all ten full seconds to realize what had happened.  She could only see part of Bubba's hat from where she sat.  Full face, she realized that Bubba wasn't an Crimson Tide fan, he was an Obama fan.
     The lady grinned and said, "Well, that's even better."
     She explained that it was fairly common to see a proud Democrat advertising in N'awlins, but a proud and loud Alabama fan in the middle of the French Quarters just might get his butt whipped.  It'd be kinda like wearing your Gay Pride hat to a biker bar.
     On the way home, Bubba and I figure that the Obama strategy in Alabama should be caps with oBAMA on them.

March 16 - Just when you thought that there might be a bottom to cynicism about Republicans ---
     Governor Rick Perry's office is leaking.  Karvey Kronberg - over at the Quorum Report - heard the same rumor that I did:  Perry will call a special session.
     Perry won't do it to help Texas.  He'll do for the rightwing voters he needs to impress.

On the other side of the rotunda today, House members sound increasingly convinced that they expect Governor Rick Perry to blow up the session and bring us back for a special on either Voter ID or stimulus money or both.

Governors typically avoid special sessions because they are blamed by the public for the dollars "wasted" as most lawmakers are forced to simply hang out until the bills work their way through the process.

But the word on the House floor today was that there are only a million Texans the governor cares about right now -- likely Republican primary voters. Both voter ID and rejecting stimulus dollars work for him with these voters. He would keep center stage as he battled Washington and "liberals", so the storyline goes.

     So that means that all Texans will pay for Perry's pandering.  Oh hell, I feel an alliterative song comin' on.  I'm gathering together Bitchin' Betty and the Sequined Backhoes and see what we can come up with.
     Meanwhile, remember that Rick Perry is pondering on climbing in your wallet to campaign against Kay Bailey Hutchinson.  Not that he ever climbed out, of course.


Dear Susan,
    I took liberties with the Toni Basil song and decided this excerpt was about right.

Oh, Ricky, what a pity
You don't understand
You take me by the heart
When you take me by the hand
Oh, Ricky, you're so pretty
Can't you understand
It's guys like you, Ricky
Oh, what you do, Ricky, do, Ricky
Don't break my heart, Ricky

Oh, Ricky, you're so fine
You're so fine, you blow my mind
Hey, Ricky, hey, Ricky
Oh, Ricky, you're so fine
You're so fine, you blow my mind
Hey, Ricky, hey, Ricky
Oh, Ricky, you're so fine
You're so fine, you blow my mind
Hey, Ricky

Don A.

You could tell Don that it wouldn't be Mitch Miller, who was on Nixon's enemies list and recorded a cover of "Give Peace A Chance." Way cool, but unrepublican.

Charly Hoarse

March 16 - I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore. 

     AMERICAN International Group, my pattotie! 


Ms. Susan,

This mess has sent me reading about how Jesse H. Jones and Franklin D.  Roosevelt did it seventy years ago.

When Jones' Reconstruction Finance Corporation invested in a bank or company, they got the books and had a "Come to Jesus Meeting" with management. If they didn't have confidence in said management, they would replace them with people they could trust.

The fifty billion dollars (worth about $800 billion today) they disbursed in the 1930's to save banks, railroads, farms, and most of all, jobs was paid back with interest as the banks and corporations bought back the preferred shares held by the public.

It's my understanding that these AIG bonuses are being paid to retain 'key personnel.'  In my humble opinion, there can't be that many 'indispensible' people in this oversized monster that ought to be spun-off and broken up. AIG managers that cash bonus checks ought to do so with the understanding that they are going out the door in disgrace.

-Charly Hoarse

March 14  - Bob Dunn has just two simple requests of the Republicans in The Lege.  The first one involves thinking we're stoopid, and the second one involves scissors
     You know how Bob says he's raising kids, crops, and cain?  His kids are adorable.  His crops are dry but doing fine.  It's the cain that needs some work.

March 13 - Okay, so as you know, our sheriff, Milton Wright, has a double digit IQ and senility and a bad case of goofy to top it all off. 
     He's got the county judge's office all a'stir over a bill filed by one of our state reps to extend civil service protection to county employees by this coming September, which, using high level and complicated mathematics apparently not available to the sheriff, I figure will be 6 months from now.
     The sheriff knows we'll have civil service by 2010 and tries to put on a good face about it ---

“It’s not necessarily a bad thing,” Sheriff Milton Wright said of civil service. “It protects people from a sheriff or police chief who’s vindictive. We’re just against doing it on this short notice.”

     Okay, so the philosophical question is this: why do our employees need to wait an extra few months for protection from a vindictive sheriff?  Why is six months "short notice" to treat people right?  Why do you need the extra 3 months to be vindictive?
     Most importantly, don't we freekin have something better to do than waste the time of the county judge and his employees to give the sheriff an extra couple of months of being vindictive? 
     I just don't get it.  Does the chief deputy need some extra time to hone his vindictive skills?
     Like I said, goofy.

March 13 - From my friend Evan --

While in this current economic crises, we are sorry but we see no other alternative but to reduce our staff.

We have to lay off André.


March 13 - I have something I want you guys to read about Stanford Financial, the latest scam to steal everybody's retirement money. 
     It seems that Jesus made them do it.

Interviews with 21 current and former employees over three years show that religious faith, personal ties and the iron grip of Stanford himself created a culture that helped promote the bank’s CDs, the center of what the Securities and Exchange Commission calls an $8 billion “massive Ponzi scheme.”

Stanford, 58, a graduate of Baylor University, a Baptist school in Waco, Texas, recruited his college roommate James Davis, 60, as his chief financial officer. Davis, in turn, brought in Chief Investment Officer Laura Pendergest-Holt, 35, whom he met at First Baptist Church in Baldwyn, Mississippi, where he was a Sunday school teacher, according to Jim Holt, Pendergest-Holt’s husband.

The three Stanford executives were sued by the SEC last month for allegedly orchestrating a fraud.

     Now, I don't have nothing against the Baptist.  Most  of them are very good people.  My Momma is a Baptist, although she is quick to point out that she's, "not one of those kind of Baptist."  People in Texas know exactly what she's talking about.  Momma is one of those Billy Don Moyers kind of Baptist.  (Very few people know that Billy Don is an ordained Baptist minister.)
     If a person has to tell you that he's a Christian, it's probably because he's not acting like one.  It's that simple.
     The more someone tells you how much they love Jesus and how you ain't being Jesus-friendly enough, the more you need to count the silverware when they leave. 
     It appears that Stanford stole money in the name of Sweet Jesus.  He's ain't the first and he sure the heck won't be the last.
     However, I am pretty near certain that there's a real special place in hell for those who use Sweet Jesus for personal gain.  I mean, I don't know that for a fact, but I'd be willing to bet on it. 
     Accordingly, I've put Mr. Stanford on the prayer list over at the Household of Faith, C.O.G.I.C. in North Carolina, Elder Clifton Braden, Pastor.

Hi, Susan, Guess Stanford is another member of that eternal church of Pay to Pray. 

 from Ruth

March 12 - Okay, y'all, this is my favorite story of the year.
As I'm sure you've heard, Texas Governor Rick Perry has rejected $550 million in unemployment benefits from the stimulus package.
     But, what you probably haven't heard is that he
held his press conference in front of a high-end hardware and retail shop here in Houston named Bering's. 

Gov. Rick Perry will announce today that he is blocking the state from accepting $550 million for expanded unemployment benefits as part of the federal stimulus package.

With an upscale Houston hardware store as his backdrop, he will paint the expansion as a burden on small business.

     Bering's is not your typical hardware store.  They sell $110 reed diffusers and $144 artichoke sets.  It's a hardware store in the same vein that Neiman Marcus is a five and dime store. 

     Now for the punch line  ----

     Bering's sells a line of high-end pastry serving utensils. They call it (THIS IS NOT A JOKE) the "Let Them Eat Cake" Line of Fine Utensils. Click here to see for yourself.  You know the drill - click the little one to get the big one of a screen shot.

     You just gotta love somebody as dumb as Rick "Antoinette" Perry.
     And, hey, if you're going to drop-kick the Governor with your catalog, you at least ought to give him a 2 minute warning to collect both his IQ points.

March 12 - Well, who knew he had a heart

Freshman Rep. Pete Olson (R-Texas) had a pacemaker implanted in his chest on Thursday after fainting in the House gym, but he is expected to make a full recovery, according to a statement by his physician.

The lawmaker is “awake and joking with the hospital staff, and is anxious to get back to work,” according to the statement.

Olson, 46, was taken to the George Washington University Hospital early this morning after fainting, an episode that doctors determined was caused by a slow heartbeat. Doctors gave Olson a dual-chamber pacemaker to continue to regulate his heartbeat.

“The procedure went smoothly with no complications,” said Dr. Allen Solomon, cardiologist at the hospital. “This is a common, often asymptomatic, condition and we expect the Congressman to resume his active lifestyle.”

Olson is planning to return home to Texas on Saturday to spend the weekend with his family and will return to Washington next week for scheduled legislative business.

Thank goodness that Pete Olson has good health insurance.  Too bad the rest of us don’t.   

I don’t know if Pete knows this yet, but he has now joined the ranks of the uninsurable.  When he leaves Congress (hopefully after the next election), no health insurance company will touch him, or if one does write him a policy, it will cost a small fortune and the heart will be excluded as a “pre-existing condition”. 

So, Pete needs to join those of us who advocate for universal health care.  Since he is in Congress, he can actually do something about it.   

Go on Pete, do it for your family, and our families, too. 


What a tasteless comment about your Congressman and his heart.
Regarding Democratic icon Ted Kennedy and his brain tumor....I didn't know he had a brain.

Dearest Paula - imagine my shock that someone with taste came to my website!  I certainly never intended for that to happen.


March 12 - I love Republicans. 
     She beat him with an electric guitar when she found him in the children's playroom with two pavement princesses.  He was the Republican Party Chairman from 2004 - 2007.
      Okay, y'all admit it - that's the best yet.  He had hookers in his children's playroom.  Now that's kinky.

Inverness Police say former Cook County Republican Chairman Gary Skoien admitted having two prostitutes in his children’s playroom when his wife walked in on him early Sunday morning.

The allegation is in a domestic battery report from Skoien, 55, against his 36-year-old, 5-foot-4-inch, 110-pound wife. He said she beat him with her fists and an electric guitar.

But Skoien said the police report inaccurately stated that he had prostitutes in his home. Skoien said he and a friend were talking in the playroom when his wife came down and began beating him.

Eni Skoien spent two nights in a lock-up before being released on a $10,000 personal recognizance bond.

The police report said Skoien had cuts and blood on his hands and there was blood on the walls and stairs near the playroom.

The police report said Skoien “told [the responding officer] he did in fact have prostitutes with him in the playroom when his wife caught him.” The playroom looked like “a struggle of some kind took place there...There were items turned and tossed around the room,” the report said.

     Yeah, but my bet is that the pavement princesses messed up the game room.  I mean, ole Gary didn't hire housekeepers to come play with him, ya know.

March 12 - Alfredo sends us a heads-up that our local buddies, BBS&J are back in the Florida News. 
     Most of you will recall that PBS&J ripped off the Orange County-Orlando Expressway Authority for $15 million, and then things went downhill from there ---

The chairman of Orlando's toll-road agency said Wednesday that he will urge his fellow board members to terminate a multimillion-dollar agreement with a longtime consultant — an attempt to end one of the controversies that has engulfed the agency for more than two years.

Rich Crotty, also Orange County's mayor, told the Orlando Sentinel he would push to sever ties with the engineering firm PBS&J of Tampa hours after he received a scathing letter from Harvey Massey, a former member of the toll agency's board of directors, calling for "real reform" at the Orlando-Orange County Expressway Authority.

     Our county commissioners (with the exception of Richard Morrison) have pimped themselves to the Fort Bend County branch of PBS&J - even after PBS&J admitted to ripping us off and being forced to make a small refund.  Our commish boys kept holding out their hands and asking for money.
     Look, I don't mind our commissioners being pavement princesses to make a little extra cash for themselves, but they're dancing in the slug trail of a major federal investigation, and that just seems stoopid. 
     Oh wait, I'm talking about county commissioners. 

March 12 - Just when you think it can't get any weirder in Texas, the Lege has decided to be the only primates in the world to honor George W. Bush ---

The measure by Rep. Charles “Doc: Anderson of Waco (yes, he is a Republican) recounts Bush’s life story and refers to him as “this dynamic Texan.”

“The Bush administration met numerous foreign policy challenges, while also making constructive progress in relations with India and sustaining a solid relationship with China,” the resolution notes, adding that Bush “lived each day with the safety and prosperity of his fellow citizens foremost in his mind; he took a principled stance on a wide range of issues of great importance to every American, and his tireless efforts will not soon be forgotten.”

The resolution - along with one honoring Laura Bush - is on the House’s Congratulatory and Memorial Calendar, which generally is reserved for measures not expected to draw opposition.

     Look, forget that he was the worst President ever.  I mean, just put that aside.  You still cannot vote to honor this guy in Texas because ... well, hell, everybody knows it so I'll just say it: he's afraid of horses.  I mean he won't even stand next to Trigger or ride Topper.  And Silver is out of the question what with that rairin' thing Silver does.
     You simply cannot honor a man in Texas who is afraid of horses.  It's against the Wussie Law, which is in Article 7, Section C of the Texas Constitution.  Look it up.  It's there.  Right under Desecration of a Venerated Object or a Bowl of Chili.
     Honey, Sam Houston hisownself wrote that law. And while I freely acknowledge that Waco is in Texas only by geographic accident, Doc Anderson still has to follow Texas law when he's in Austin. 
     My theory is that Doc is doing this kiss-up to finagle an invitation to Bush's house in Dallas for dinner so he can get the hell outta Waco for a few hours.  I mean, even George Bush is a intellectual leap up from Waco.  Okay, maybe not a leap, but surely a step or two.
     Doc, don't do this, Hon.  We'll see that you get an invitation out to the Annual Cowboy Poetry Fest in Alpine next year if you just quit this foolishness. 
     Y'all can contact Doc right here to inquire if he's taken leave of his senses.  Remember the Momma Rule:  no nasty talk or threats that you wouldn't want my Momma to read.

Susan, I sent Doc an email like you suggested, but I got to thinking-Doc was just trying to embarrass Dubya for being the worst president ever.  Reckon?

March 11 - Thank you, Ben Sargent.

March 10 - Y'all, there's a pretty good tune over hereIt's a Texas Political/Agribusiness song. 
     And, I included the lyrics in case you're at work.
     I'm a very nice person.


March 10 - He has thrown down the gauntlet.  He has tossed his hat into the ring.  He has puked on his boots.
     Chuck Norris is running for President of Texas.
     Actually, he's taunting us with political intrigue.  He says he MAY run for President of Texas, an office that up until last week when Republican Governor Rick Perry accidently drooled on a set of historic documents, has not even existed since 1846, which, ironically, was the same year that Chuck Norris believes God created the earth after a night out drinking with Sam Houston.
     Norris, who was born in Oklahoma, has never lived in Texas.  But that's okay, because our current Governor has never lived in reality, so, apparently, residency is not a requirement for the job.
     I hate to do this but I guess I'm gonna have to run against him.  Instead of a costly election, however, I favor a fight:  his kicking foot against my shotgun.
     Like I said, the boy's never been to Texas, Hon.

Chuck Norris owns 700 acres near Navasota, called the “Lone Wolf Ranch”.

His fan mail address is believed to be: 

Chuck Norris
Box 872
Navasota, TX 77868 

Once he figures out that secession has been tried before and didn’t work out so well, Chuck might end up needing to talk to someone with some good sense.  I hope you can help him.

J Wright

March 10 - So, it appears that I'm not the only one noticing that Tom DeLay is attempting a comeback. 
     Honey, you cannot turn on any talk show without seeing Tom's overly-botoxed and discount facelifted mug on the electric teevee.  Lord, he's starting to look like Joan Rivers' prom date.
     But, anyway, others are taking notice, too.
     In their attempt to make Rush Limbaugh sound sane, they haul Tom DeLay on teevee and have him crazytalk for entertainment purposes. 
     For some reason, they never ask Tom about his record of hog conservatism or even his personal successes since resigning and crawling away in defeat and surrender.
     Tom DeLay has never be one to shy away from hypocrisy  --

Since his indictment in the fall of 2005, the discredited DeLay kept a mercifully low profile. But recently, “the Hammer” has resurfaced on cable-TV news, positioning himself as the leader of the conservative true believers—saying that President Obama’s “world view is socialism”—and castigating the GOP for losing its way. It’s time for a reality check: Republicans lost their way under his congressional leadership.

More than any other figure, Tom DeLay was responsible for the rise of not just the unprecedented pork-barrel spending that conservatives now blame for their defeats, but also the cronyism and corruption, the odd combination of religious self-righteousness and amoral political opportunism, the enforcement of group-think ideological extremism that leads politicians to mistake partisanship for principle.

     Now let me tell you how successful this guy has been with the free market:  his exterminating business went belly-up, his book didn't sell, his pay-per-view blog crumbled in less than 6 months so now about once a month he whines about how unfair everyone treats him over at Townhall, and he admits that his Coalition for a Republican Majority isn't making any money at all.  Typical Republican record.
     So now we have a Republican Party run by Rush Limbaugh, Tom DeLay, and Newt Gingrich. 
     And you wonder why I'm buying champagne by the case?

It's all Chris Matthew fault. Why he keeps inviting Tom the Exterminator on his show is beyond me. I've asked! He won't tell me. But I do think that Tom the Exterminator and The Newt will certainly make the next 20 months that much more entertaining. Heck, for the last 2 months I've been living on beer and popcorn. Who has time to cook with so much entertainment on CNN, MSNBC, and now CNBC! I keep watching Cramer get smaller and smaller every week. Just like my 401K. 
Lorraine in Spring

March 9 -

Thank you, President Obama!

     This is one more American thanking you for giving America the gift of science.

Hi, Susan, only eight years late and we can start research on debilitating diseases - and this from Nancy Reagan;
'Reagan continued, “Countless people, suffering from many different diseases, stand to benefit from the answers stem cell research can provide. We owe it to ourselves and to our children to do everything in our power to find cures for these diseases — and soon. As I’ve said before, time is short, and life is precious.” '

Click here.

Maybe if we could just pass soldiers off as embryos, the wingers would start trying to protect them from destruction, too.

from Ruth

March 9 - It must be gun day.
You know why I hate Republicans?  They are just mean and vindictive people.

Thirteen-year-old Lane Dunkley just wanted to go hunting with his grandfather.

What he got was a lecture on politics.

Dunkley and his father, Daniel Reddy, who live in Tulsa, went to Broken Arrow on Tuesday night for a hunter safety course normally required to get an Oklahoma hunting license.

The class was a reward of sorts. Dunkley, who wants to go hunting with his grandfather, was told he could take the class only if he brought up his grades.

So he did — to a B-plus average.

But when father and son arrived at the lesson, the volunteer instructor, Kell Wolf, asked if any of the students voted for President Barack Obama.

Reddy, a transplanted Californian — and former Marine — raised his hand.

According to Reddy and others in the room, Wolf called Obama "the next thing to the Antichrist" and ordered Reddy and Dunkley from the room. When Reddy refused, Wolf said he would not teach "liberals" and would cancel the course if Reddy didn't leave.

So Reddy and Dunkley left, as did a few others.

     Just mean and hateful.  I have a question:  how little does your winkie have to be for you to act like that? 

How little?

About this big ..

Kell Wolf does a disservice to all the good people of Oklahoma.

Kell Wolf does a disservice to all of us Nation-wide who provide a community service without regard for someone's politics faith, religion, race or creed and do so just because it serves our communities.


Hi, Susan:

I saw your post on the kid being thrown out of the hunting safety class because his dad voted for Obama. I was appalled.  I'd be equally appalled if he had been thrown out because he voted for McCain.  Or George W. Bush, for that matter.

I sure as heck would have walked out in support, regardless of whom they voted for.

This country was founded on the principles of religious and political freedom. And on the sacred right to cast your own PRIVATE vote for anybody YOU see fit..

How dare somebody kick you out of a hunter safety class because of how you voted.

Have the red states declared war on people who have a different opinion? If so, they are  un-American.  And if blue states are declaring war on red states, same to them.

Rapid partisanship is what's killing this country. I speak as somebody who has voted for as many GOP candidates as I have for Democratic candidates in presidential races (I won't lie, I did vote Obama this time around and was proud to do so).

I have nephews in really blue Portland, OR, and nephews in really red rural Missouri.  I love them all equally. The Missourians are hunters (they are farm kids and realize they need to know gun safety to do their job well -- occasionally, they have to kill predators to protect their cattle -- and in a very few cases, humans from rapid wildlife).

I'm not a farm kid; I'm a suburbanite who grew up in the middle and has lived on both coasts in the meantime.  I have no personal interest in hunting. I also have no personal desire to ban hunting. But I don't want ANYBODY to be shooting a gun without safety training.

How dare you turn hunter safety classes into a political statement!  For that matter, would that go for swimming classes, CPR classes, first aid classes?

Bull puckey. Politics should never be part of the picture when teaching Americans to be safe.

Portland, OR, (raised in Kansas City and a resident of the east coast for a lot of years)

March 9 - According to the Texas Legislature, the problem with Texas universities isn't that there isn't enough learning, the problem is that there isn't enough guns, dammit.

AUSTIN -- If some Texas lawmakers have their way, concealed weapons will soon be allowed on UTEP's campus.

A bill filed by state Rep. Joe Driver, R-Garland, and state Sen. Jeff Wentworth, R-San Antonio, would make Texas the second state to allow concealed handguns on college campuses. Eleven senators and 56 representatives have signed on as authors or co-authors.

Since 1996, Texans have been able to carry concealed handguns, but they cannot carry at schools, in courts, polling places, race tracks or airports.

     Okay, I'll make them a deal.  I'll support this the session after they approve the carrying of loaded and functional weapoinery in the balcony of the Texas State Legislature. 
     No, I'm serious.  Think about it.
     If we're allowed to carrying all manner of guns, particularly my shotgun, in the balcony overlooking the Texas House for a full session and no one gets shot, then I'll agree it's a workable idea to carry guns on college campuses, churches, and liquor stores. 
     And the other upside is that if someone does get shot, it's no big loss. 
     This is a win-win for everyone!

March 9 - A big ole slap on the back to our newly elected Democratic County Commissioner (and my own personal county commissioner, which ain't an easy job) Richard Morrison, who got his ideas spread all over the greater Houston area this weekend by being in the Sunday Houston Chronicle.
     They printed his editorial you read here about spending stimulus money on toll roads. 
     I would say that my county commissioner is smarter than the Governor of Texas, but that's not a compliment because my dog is smarter than the Governor of Texas.  So I'll just say that my county commissioner is smarter than a tree full of owls. 

March 8 - And in today's Rush Limbaugh update ---
     Texas Republican Senator John Cornyn is going to turn into a toad.  I mean it.  He's kissing himself so much that it's bound to happen sooner or later.
     John Cornyn has decided that it's an outrage -- an outrage, I tell you! -- that Republicans are lining up to kiss Rush Limbaugh's patootie. 
     Well, that's not exactly how John worded it, but that's what he's saying. 
     John, Babe, buy a vowel.  We didn't make Rush Limbaugh king - you guys did.  John, be outraged over the things Rush Limbaugh says, not the fact that we make fun of him for saying it.  And, by the way, since you're so concerned about taxpayer money -- didn't you use a member of your staff to write your letter?  Ain't that taxpayer money, too?
     Has anybody else noticed that there's only one letter and 100 pounds difference between Rush and Bush? 

     Thanks to Deb for the heads-up.

March 8 - If you live in New Territory or you have an HOA in your neighborhood, you'll love this
     My friend Nancy is also share my concern about the coal plant down the road
     I flat love grassroots websites!

March 8 - Well, I sprung forward this morning and couldn't be happier about it. We've been having spring here since Christmas, but in another week or so the pool will be warm enough to take a dip. 
     Meanwhile, Don A. reminds us of something else we all love --- The New York Times.

Dear Susan

Where else can you find people like Paul Krugman ("Basically, the political philosophy of the GOP right now seems to consist of snickering at stuff that they think sounds funny. The party of ideas has become the party of Beavis and Butthead.") and Charles M. Blow ( the Republicans have dissolved into a querulous lot of nags and naysayers without a voice, a direction or a clue) in the same week?

Also, I can't find the reference anymore but today I encountered a reference to the "Limbaugh-otomized".


We now know the definition of a dittohead - a creature that has  undergone a limbaughtomy.


Love the Limbaugh-otomy.   Have been referring to the Geo. Wills sort as pundittoes, myself.

from Ruth

Rushama Lim Baughden leading the Talibaptists against infidels who  refuse the words of the prophet Ayn Rand.


March 6 - Okay, this is almost funny. 
     Republican County Judge Bob "Hawg" Hebert wants every department in the county to cut back 10%.  Well, except for Hebert. 
     Hebert is a guy who thinks non-bid contracts should actually read:  Helping my friends and campaign contributors get rich off the county taxpayers. 
     Plus, he's got hot and cold running staff in his office.  JC Whitten could hit the road and never be missed because nobody knows what he does for a living anyway.  We ought to gift wrap his paycheck! 
     Heckfire, Hebert, if you went over Joe B Allen's bills to the county, we could save .... oh, I dunno ... 30 or 40% right there alone.  Goodness sake, Joe B goes to bed at night with visions of Fort Bend and sugar plums dancing in his head.
     So, Hebert is counting paper clips while the money flow to non-bid vendors is taking us all to the poorhouse. 
     And, mark my word, that new county jail is going to break us all.  I heard the same song and dance when they built the last jail about it being a money-maker and I sure the heck didn't see any money.  We do not need this new jail. 
     And how about postponing building the Taj MaLaw over by the River while the economy is so bad?  We can wait on that structure for sure.  We don't need it anyway.
     But nooooo ... let's count paperclips instead.
     Cripes, I am sick, sick, sick of Republican economics.

What you are describing  in Fort Bend is exactly what is happening to the State on a larger scale. Small minds think alike or steal ideas from each other.
    Gov. Hairball must be Hebert's role model. Does he wear pancake makeup when in front of TV cameras? Opps, I forgot Perry stopped that cause even Bush thought it was dumb and weird.


March 6 - Okay, just one more.  I promise.  Just one more.  Thank you, Drew Sheneman .

March 5 - The worst day of the year?  When I put my sandals and Keds in a box and carry them upstairs.
     Best day of the year?  The day I bring them back
     Oh, come on, fess up, you knew I'd have more than 2 pair of pink sandals!  Actually, my favorite pair kinda got cut out of the picture --- yes, I have more --- they are orange with rhinestones, lotsa rhinestones. 
     I am also fond of Keds.  I pretty much have every color, including both baby pink and hot pink. 
     Sandals and spring training.  Life is good.

March 5 - My friend E. Claire sent this.  Wonkette is right - Rick Perry is such a whiny little bimbo ---

Most of the states that have already signed their certifications are ruled by liberal Democrats who write simple, professional letters quoting the section of the legislation that requires their signing-off. Texas’ Rick Perry, on the other hand, writes a whiny bitch thing, because why is he even taking this money that he doesn’t want?

   I will not be sad to see him gone.  Under his leadership, we have gone from being The Great State of Texas to being The Slightly Below Average State of Texas.

March 5 - God help me, I'm addicted.  I just can't help myself.  I am totally addicted to Rush Limbaugh cartoons. Is there a 12-step program for this?

     Somebody stop me before I use up all my bandwidth.
     It breaks my heart that Republicans are not enjoying this as much as I am ---

Congressional Republicans are trying to figure out how to distance themselves from Rush Limbaugh without really distancing themselves too much from Rush Limbaugh.

Democrats laid the trap by declaring Limbaugh the head of the GOP, and Republicans in Congress can’t seem to figure out how to solve the riddle.

They don’t want to appear that they are taking marching orders from the conservative talk show host, but at the same time, they are wary of criticizing him and enduring the wrath of his powerful microphone and millions of listeners.

     And it appears there's a movement afoot to dump Michael Steele.

Michael Steele should resign as Republican National Committee (RNC) chairman, according to a committee member from North Carolina.

In an e-mail to fellow RNC members obtained by The Hill, Dr. Ada Fisher, North Carolina's national committeewoman, said Steele is "eroding confidence" in the GOP and that members of his transition team should encourage him to step aside. Fisher added Steele's personal e-mail address to the e-mail.

     If the country wasn't falling apart from all their idiotic mistakes over the past 8 years, this would be the most fun since Aunt Bessie got her skirt caught in the wagon wheel. 
     Okay, one more.  Just one more and I'll stop for the day.  I can't quit you, Rush.

March 5 - What do Pete Sessions and John Cornyn have that no one else does?  Money from Stanford Financial.

In addition to the trips, Sessions received $41,375 and Cornyn got $19,700 in campaign contributions from Stanford and other company executives. Average Texans don't get so much time with their elected officials, and neither would Stanford – if not for his wealth, contributions and vacation paradise.

Sessions and Cornyn have donated $9,000 of those funds to charity. They would be wise to donate the rest – and to use better judgment next time.

     Judgment?  Cornyn and Sessions?  Don't hold your breath, Babe.  That'll happen when the flames of hell are making popsicles. 
     So if me and Verdelia accidently rob a bank and take $60,000, we just gotta give $18,000 to charity and all is forgiven?  Hummm ... I think me and ole Verdelia just got us a new occupation. 

March 4 - We get emails about Rush Limbaugh --

Okay, let me see if I understand this.  Rush Limbaugh is calling Jake Tapper of ABC News Obama's butt boy.

Isn't this the same guy who got caught entering the country with extra unprescribed Viagra after going on an all boys "fishing trip" ? (Check out the video.)

Guess Rush would know.  As Robin Williams would say "I can't quit you Rush".


Susan,  Many years ago, long before I became a Squire, I had a supervisor who was a dyed in the wool "Ditto Head" fan of Rush "Flush"Limbaugh.  The guy would come into the break room where all the employees would be gathered for our morning coffee and donuts and start spouting ole Flushs latest bit of garbage.   I actually joined the National Organization For Women and the A. C. L. U.  so that when he'd come down on those two organizations I could flash my membership cards and he'd sputter and leave the room.  The funny thing was that he knew from the git go what was coming and always seemed to be surprised when I'd show him my cards.   I'm still a member of both organizations and don't suppose that  Fox News will be asking me for my opinion on anything.  

Al, Squire 

PS You should have seen me out plowing our driveway and walks yesterday AM, it was single digits and 7" of snow....nice way to start a day.


I just left my humble apology to Drug Rush hisself at this website -

I feel cleansed by my confession.



Was that picture was taken when he was 15?

It's funny to hear his supporters say how popular he is, how 10s of millions listen to him every day and how that makes him so important. 

But in the end that's all he has. Yeah, it's made him rich because 28% is a great marketing tool, but in the big picture it's just 28%.

Limbaugh Conservatives may turn out to be as effective a label as Limousine Liberals (or Liberals for short) was 10 years ago.


March 3 - Okay, y'all, we finally have a county commissioner with a triple digit IQ and a some ethics. 
    Y'all just wish you had a county commissioner with guts enough to stand up against the tidal wave of toll roads and fancy pants developers.  Well, I do.  Head on over there and give Richard a high five.  (You might have to register to comment but it's no big deal.)
     In Texas we are trying to use 2 billion dollars in federal funding to pay for toll roads.  That's double taxation.  That's the new Republican way to do business.  Morrison ain't buying it.

March 3 - Pssssst.... y'all, over here.  Quiet now, we don't want them to hear. 
     Here's the plan - from now on when you see a Republican, tell them you think it's a great idea that Rush Limbaugh is their leader and that all their elected officials are kissing his hiney.  Tell them that Democrats are real, real scared of Rush.  Whisper and pass it on.

Recent poll showed Bush with higher favorable rating than Limbaugh

In fact, polls by Gallup in February show that Limbaugh has less favorable ratings from the mainstream public than former President George W. Bush. But while members of Congress and presidential aspirants spent most of the last two years trying to run away from Bush, Limbaugh's power seems to be expanding.

"In a February Gallup poll, 45 percent of respondents said they had an unfavorable view of Limbaugh, to 28 percent with a favorable opinion. The partisan divide was steep, with Republicans favoring Rush 60-23, while Democrats disapproved 63-6," Howard Kurtz writes in Tuesday's Washington Post.

     Yep, we're real scared of Rush.  So, please don't throw us in the briar patch.

March 3 - We get shameful email ---

Well gosh, Juanita.  I'd've sent you an e-mail, but I didn't think you'd need remindin'.  But honey, not even saying "Happy Birthday, Texas" is just tacky.


Dear Wynn, you are totally right.  However, I did it on purpose because the only birthday card I could find over at Bessie Sue's House of Cards and Whatnot was a belated birthday card.  (Bessie Sue has let the stock dwindle since she got religion and burned all the greeting cards because a lady at her church told her that cards are a tool of the devil.  It wasn't until the next Sunday School meeting that Bessie Sue learned it wasn't Hallmark cards they were talking about.  She ungot religion that very day, on the premise that "they need to be clearer what they're talking about before a woman destroys her livelihood ... and all her garter belts."

So I'll be sending Texas a belated birthday card today.  I think I'll address it to God.  He lives in Big Bend.


Susan, are you absolutely positive 100% that He lives in Big Bend? I always thought he lived in the Hill Country - somewhere  up around Wimberley! Now, don't tell me He moved!!  But the way I look at it, He lives just about anywhere He wants to and all at the same time according to the Good Book so I guess we are both right, huh.<G>


Dear Marie, well, here's how it is:  God lives in Big Bend.  Jesus lives in the Hill Country, and the Holy Ghost lives in the Big Thicket.  I've checked this out and I'm correct.  In fact, I think I saw Jesus near Gruene floating down the Guadalupe River on an inner tube once.  Big ole grin on his face.  And if you've even been in the Big Thicket as the sun is setting on a autumn day, you've met the Holy Ghost. 


March 2 - Looks like Joe the Plumber is working on his minute 16.

Joe the Plumber (no longer a plumber; first name actually Samuel) popped into our town yesterday evening to sell his new book and to remind people that he's still a plain and simple guy. Mission accomplished, on at least one of his missions.

About 11 people wandered into the rows of seats set up hopefully in the basement of a downtown Border's bookstore to hear Joe speak. Joe addressed them from behind a lectern and with a microphone, but that seemed unnecessarily formal.

     The really good news, "Wurzelbacher was scheduled to speak and sign books for three hours, but the Joe Show was over in 55 minutes. Total copies of "Joe the Plumber" sold: five."
     (Thanks to Wanda for the heads-up.)


March 2 - When you watch this, and you simply must watch this, note three things.
     1.  Tom DeLay is still not making a living.  His little project is hurting due to the bad economy.  You know, the economy he created.  Ah, karma.
     2.  What money he is earning, he's spending on another facelift and some Botox. 
     3.  He thinks Democrats are organized. 


     (Thanks to Mah Fellow Merkuhn for the video.) 

    And, speaking of Republican scams to raise money, here's a scam modeled after The DeLay Foundation.  Orrin Hatch learned how to play this game.

Dear Susan,
    He's delusional.  Maybe now that DUHbya can's use his delusions anymore he's given some of them to Tom.  Conservatives don't have leadership? Remember the Haster-DeLay leadership team that gave us the paving bricks to build the road to perdition that Rove's permanent majority went marching down?  Lord love a duck and give us more of those leaders for the Conintern coalition.


March 2 - Alert the media!  It's not liberal anymore.  My buddy Carl found us a another good story to throw back at our rightwing co-workers.

A visual analysis of television presidential campaign coverage from 1992 to 2004 suggests that the three television broadcast networks -- ABC, CBS and NBC -- favored Republicans in each election, according to two Indiana University professors in a new book.

Their research runs counter to the popular conventional notion of a liberal bias in the media in favor of Democrats and against Republican candidates.

     And then, what we've all suspected----

"We don't think this is journalists conspiring to favor Republicans. We think they're just so beat up and tired of being accused of a liberal bias that they unknowingly give Republicans the benefit in coverage," said Grabe, who also is a research associate in political science at the University of Pretoria in South Africa. "It's self-censorship that journalists might be imposing on themselves."

     So what did we learn from today's lesson, class?  That whining works.

March 2 - This has nothing to do with politics, but my friend Deb let me know that the South Carolina Quilting Society has found a great way to raise money for Breast Cancer Awareness -- auctioning off bras
     I haven't decided which one I'm going to bid on, because, as you know, shiny is my favorite color, but I also like frilly.

     This is not an easy choice, y'all.

What's the point in buying a bra unless you've got a coupla boobs to stuff in it?

Here, send these to your friends in Pennsyltucky or New Guernsey.  No returns.


March 1 - Apparently there's a new pipeline down I-10 from Florida to Texas.  It's a money pipeline, but you're not getting any.  You?  Well, all you get is screwed, glued and tattooed. 
     Here's the story coming out of Florida.  It appears that the infamous PBS&J, who have recently become oh so good cash buddies of our county commissioners and county judge (with the notable exception of recently elected Richard Morrison) are in tad bit of trouble in Florida.
     A Florida grand jury issued a report saying that --

A "culture of corruption" permeated greater Orlando's toll-road agency for years because contractors of the agency were continually hit up for political contributions, said an Orange County grand-jury report released Friday.

     And whose name kept coming up?

The report said Keen used two contractors to fetch money for him: Ron Pecora, who held the agency marketing contract from 1994 until 2006; and Bob Paulson of PBS&J of Tampa, which has been the authority's main engineering consultant since 1982.

     That would be the same PBS&J who donate generously to our county commissioners, or to the favorite charities of our county commissioners.  Well hell, let's be honest about this:  Every danged vendor who wants something to do with this toll road is throwing money at our county commissioners.  Heckfire, with all the money tossed at them, you could get our commissioner boys a pole and some music and they could be male strippers at a widow woman convention.
     Now that brings us to the pipeline.  Democrat Richard Morrison was elected on the campaign promise to oppose the toll road in Fort Bend, and he's done that.  But, only one other commissioner sided with him. 
     So, the commissioner boys decided it would be cute to get this whole toll road thing out of the hands of the public here in Fort Bend and let Boss Hawg Hebert take control of ramming this thing down our throats.  So, they did that.
     So, you're screwed.  And now is the time to have "Culture of Corruption" tattooed on your head. 
     Until this county passes some campaign finance reform legislation, stops the rodeo, baseball, and football ticket giveaways to commissioners, and quits these generous "working" retreats at fancy resorts for commissioners, we will continue to get glued to the sticky side of crap we don't want or need. 
     If we want to stop this culture of corruption in our own backyard, this is the time to do it.  We only need one vote.  Hawg Hebert is up for re-election next year and do not tell me that he can't be beat.  Democrat Richard Morrison beat the heavily financed Republican Economic Development Council supported candidate by having a clear statement of beliefs and some dandy newspaper ads.  We can do it again.
     If Barack Obama can come within one percentage point of winning in this county, we can elect a Democrat to be county judge.  So, let the big ones line up and little ones gang up because it's time we the people get a damn voice around here. 


Welcome to the website formerly known as The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.

My name is Susan DuQuesnay Bankston.
I live in Richmond, Texas, in heart of Tom DeLay's old district.  It's crazy here.  No, seriously, it's triple z crazzzy.

I used to be an independent voter, but that all changed when I got to know a few local Republicans.  They are meaner than 10 acres of snakes and have the ethical compass of a bank robber. 

So, I decided that they could just Kiss My Big Blue Butt.

A lot of what I post here has to do with local politics, but you probably have the same folks in your local government.

This ain't a blog.  Blogs are way too trendy for me.  I've been doing this since 1992, so I'm used to it even if you ain't. 

Email me and I'll find a place to put it if I like it.