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August 31 -
Okay, now they've really hacked me off.
     As you've heard a bunch of very pathetic people went to Austin this weekend to try to get Rick Perry to secede Texas from America.  They are prepared ---

On Saturday, secessionist speakers denounced the federal government in general - and the Obama administration in particular. One speaker said, "We are aware that stepping off into secession may be a bloody war. We understand!"

     I guess they forgot who won the last civil war in America.  Hint: it wasn't Texas.  I'm just wondering whose blood he's talking about.  It better not be mine because as a fifth generation Texian who loves her state in spite of the Bushes and Phil Gramm, I ain't cuttin' and runnin' and having to have a passport to go to New Orleans. 
     Boys, you lost the election for President of the Unites States and you're fixing to lose Texas in the next election.  Cowboy up and take like an old bull in a blue norther.  We put up with 8 years of you trying to destroy America, but you can't even put up with 8 months of us trying to fix it.  What the hell kind of chicken are you?
     But where they really got my goat was by claiming that my personal Texas hero - Sam Houston - favored secession.
     Go to the back of the class.
     Sam was willing to give up his office rather than secede from the Union. 
     Sam would not have put up with this crapola.  Sam would have ridden his horse into the crowd, drunk, and still whipped all of you.  He was a better man drunk than these dudes are sober. 
     They better leave Sam out of this.  I'll get me up a posse with Deaf Smith, Juan Sequin, and Jane Long and come after their goofy butts.

August 31 - Oh wonderous gloriful visions - this is better than seeing him do the perp walk.
     There's pictures. 

     I hope he wins every week.  I'm organizing Women Who Love To See Tom Dance to do call-in vote campaigns. 

August 30 - My friend Alice showed me the most wonderful piece of charming genius in the New York Times this morning.  Enjoy!

August 30 - I told you how Pete Olson gleefully exploited a child at his health care town hall in Fort Bend County.  He has a photo of a little boy who had a heart transplant and lived, after his mother had to go all the way to Detroit to find a doctor who would do the surgery.
     Olson uses this child to praise the free market, ignoring, of course, all the children who have died waiting for medical care or medicine their parents couldn't afford.  
     And then there's this:  why did this mother, who lives within biking distance of the Texas Medical Center have to go all the way to Detroit?  Why did the free market in Texas fail her?
     Well, they were ready for Olson in the other half of his district. John Cobarruvias took this amazing video of Olson being more stumped than a toe in a room full of rocking chairs. 
     When baffled for an answer he simply says, "Well, this mother believes he would have died under Obama's health care plan."


     Notice how quickly Olson shuts the meeting down when he gets caught.
     Thankfully, in this country we do not base on our laws on what one mother in Clear Lake, Texas, believes might happen.  Unthankfully, in this country we have congressmen who will exploit that mother and her child. 

August 29 - You'll be unproud to know that our two United States Senators from Texas will not be attending the funeral of their colleague, Ted Kennedy. 

Neither of Sen. Ted Kennedy's colleagues from Texas, Republican Sens. Kay Bailey Hutchison and John Cornyn, will be attending the Massachusetts senator's funeral in Boston on Saturday.

Hutchison, who is running for governor, will be attending private meetings in Texas. An aide to Cornyn confirmed via e-mail that the senator would not be traveling to Boston for the funeral but did not say why.

     My theory is that Kay is holding private meetings with her hairdresser in her upcoming battle of the do's, and that Cornyn's fringe jacket is at the dry cleaners. 
     That's just my theory.  Thelma says they're both suffering from the crippling disease of bad taste coupled with chronic social retardation.  Thelma's a philosopher so she should know.

I'm watching the funeral now and think their absence kind of classes up the whole affair.

Sam Davis

Susan, I guess to have gone to Teddy's funeral was just too much hypocrisy even for them --- and that's saying a lot! Or maybe they were afraid the crowd of people who loved Teddy would turn on them.<G> Literally.


August 28 - As a matter of fact, Glenn, "Oligarchy" has a C in it - for Crazzzzy.


     I am not certain what pharmaceuticals were harmed in the making of this video.

In Glenn Beck's defense, it's simply a little known derivation.

olig - from the Greek for "few or scanty"
argh - from the Pirate for "vocalization indicating affirmation"

What that's got to do with Obama is anyone's guess, though...


Click on the little one to get a mentally imbalanced, paranoid, oilygharkiky wingnut



Teh stupid, it burns!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mah Fellow Murkahn

Oh I love it when they do stuff like Glenn Beck did.  I wonder if he had any comments for his audience after it was pointed out that he had just made an ass of himself on national t.v.?


August 28 - Okay, I was the first to warn you that the Rick Perry - Kay Bailey Hutchison race was going to be a real bitchapalooza. 
     If you thought I was wrong, it's only because you forgot what a complete and total bitch Rick Perry is.
     (Click the little one to get the big one.) 
     It seems that Rick wants to use a video that Kay did of her own announcement tour.  He wants it on his vicious little website, .  Rick thinks Kay's video is  "disastrous" and wants to use it against her.
     Then he writes a snarky letter to the Texas Ethics Commission asking how he has to report this.  Is it an in-kind contribution?  And then in classic Hollywood bitchery, he has his campaign manager ask, "I am not certain of a dollar amount for the video but would be willing to report it as 'priceless'."
     Oh snap.  Oh, girlfriend.  Talk about priceless.

August 28 - Thank you to Kal ---

August 28 - Thanks to Dennis for this heads-up about our favorite campaign contributing engineering firm - PBS&J.
     They seems to think that giving large campaign contributions allows them to the keys to the public coffers.  They've been to League City.

The city, which already has spent $42,000 to figure out why a broken water plant wasn’t working, will spend another $33,000 to turn it on.

The city bought the plant in 2000 for $175,000 and spent $1 million fixing it in 2005, but it never worked.

By The Numbers

• $175,000 to buy the plant in 2000

• $1 million to PBS and J engineers to get plant operational

• $42,000 to Camp Dresser and McKee to assess why plant wasn’t working

• $33,343 to Camp Dresser and McKee to make it work

     I dunno about you, but I'd ask for my million back.

August 27 - Reason #498 of Why I Truly Dislike Republicans.
     Click the little one to get the big one.

     Okay, that's what Republicans would do so they figure that we're as perverted as they are.

You're only up to reason #498 to truly dislike Republicans?



August 27 - Thanks for the heads up, Robin.
     They are dropping like flies in Harris County. 

A Harris County Criminal Court-at-Law judge was indicted this morning for misdemeanor official oppression, officials said.

Few details were immediately available regarding the charge against Don Jackson, a 17-year judge, said Joe Stinebaker, spokesman for Harris County Judge Ed Emmett.

     Thank you for making it so easy for us, Guys.

UPDATE: well, we should have seen this coming - sex solicitation

I still they were separated at birth or Guido is moonlighting. You know priest have to go to extremes to get some.



August 27 - My friend Kary passed this along because he knew I'd love it. 
     Conroe, Texas, is just north of here and Kary grew up there.  As soon as he could, Kary left there like a bullet with legs because Conroe is redneck country.  Real redneck.  Hon, their necks are red as baboon butts. 
     Their Congressvarmint, Kevin Brady, who I really ought to keep a better eye on, held himself one of those town hall events.  His was an ice cream social.  I do not kid about ice cream.  In my world, ice cream is serious. 
     Some folks were a tad upset because they couldn't get in the meeting what with all the free ice cream.  See, Bush just flat out ruined the economy in Conroe.  People are hungry.
     However, this woman from the newspaper article was worth it all even if they ate all the ice cream in Brenham. 
     I'm just gonna quote it ---

Cheryl Carter and her husband arrived in Conroe as soon as possible but found themselves several feet away from the door, waiting for the second meeting. They came from San Jacinto County just to be heard.

“I don’t want it (health care system) to change,” Carter said.

She said she just dropped her insurance two months ago because of a lack of income, which she blames on the current government.

     That some stunning talk, ain't it?  Honey, if you're rich enough to be a Republican, you're rich enough to buy health insurance.  If you're too poor to buy health insurance, then you ain't no damn Republican.
     Cheryl, where's all them big bucks you saved up during the 8 years of George Bush?  Did you just waste it all down at Wal-Mart on new kitchen curtains?

August 27 - Remember Cap'n Randy Neugebauer, who is paying for his yacht with his campaign donations from big insurance and banking?  Randy, as you recall, lives in Lubbock, where is not enough water to bathe properly.  So Randy keeps his yacht in DeeCee so he doesn't have to slum with people who live in his district.
     Well, Randy has found a brand new way to spend all that money that big insurance and oil interest heave on him:  he's going to defeat Nancy Pelosi
     I think she made a comment about the size of his yacht. 

LUBBOCK, TX (KCBD) - Congressman Randy Neugebauer says it's time for conservatives to regain control. His plan includes ousting democrat Nancy Pelosi as Speaker of the House. To do so, Neugebauer pledged $250,000 to help conservatives from other districts win their campaigns. Money will come from his campaign as well as fund raisers.

     And here's how he plans to do it ---

He says people don't want the government to tell them what to do, and feels Pelosi has shut out democracy. That's why he pledged to help true conservatives around the nation win their campaigns. "I had people come up to me and say I want to give to this cause. So, I think when the people are so motivated right now, they're going to rally around this cause," Neugebauer said. 

     People!  Heads-up.  Duh.  He ain't gonna use your money to defeat Pelosi.  He's gonna buy a new car with it.  Or some of them real prissy yachting shoes. 
     But y'all just go ahead and give this fool money.  You might as well burn rocket fuel in a coal oil lamp or buy pearls for a pig.
     Randy, wonderful Randy.  He's a Republican money pit.

August 27 - Thank you, Tom Toles ---

August 27 - I have some explaining to do for my Republican lurkers at this website. 
     We're gonna bury Teddy Kennedy this weekend and you're not going to understand it.
     Democrats are not all Episcopalians.  Unlike you, we are raucous when we plant our departed.  A proper planting can be heard a block away.
     I remember the Republicans pitching a fit when Bill Clinton laughed out loud at Ron Brown's funeral.  They used this as absolute proof that that Bill Clinton had Ron Brown killed.  And then they hollered for months that we used Paul Wellstone's funeral as a political event. 
     That's what we do.  It's how we funeralize.
     If I go to Sweet Jesus' arms without loads of laughter to propel me, Jesus will think he's got the wrong Susan and I'm going to get comfort for something that wasn't even bothering me.  My life will have been a failure if there's more tears than laughter at my passing over.
     And if my friends don't discuss politics at my funeral, I'll be back to haunt them.  Dammit, I cared about campaign finance reform; it's part of who I am.  Planting me without discussing politics would be like burying Mickey Mantle without discussing baseball. 
     I also want them to sing - very loudly, off key and with complete joy and abandon.  And dance a little. 
     So don't pretend to be mortified this weekend.  You know for a fact that you wish you were one of us because we comfort, love, and laugh.  We believe in community and good works, and we want our lives to mean something.  Our friends and family take on the duty to to keep our dreams alive.  They make a lot of noise doing it.  Good on 'um.
     So if you're prone to  jealousy, don't even turn on the teevee this weekend because we're gonna be loud.
     You just won't understand it.

Greetings from greater Boston, where you can't swing a dead cat over your head without hitting someone who (a) has been helped by one of Senator Kennedy's bills, (b) has had personal constituent service from Himself, or (c) has a great story to tell about running into Ted on the campaign trail, at a public event, or just putting around hither and yon.
Thanks for your piece warning your Republican lurkers about the revelry that will accompany our mourning here over the next few days. I shall continue to pray that those who are just dear misled souls will find inspiration in our remembrance. As for those less dear souls who may try to pull a Wellstone on us, let me remind them of the old Irish toast:
May those that love us, love us.
And those that don’t love us,
May God turn their hearts.
And if he doesn’t turn their hearts,
May he turn their ankles,
So we’ll know them by their limping.

Pulling a Wellstone in the midst of this remembrance would be like wearing orange in South Boston on St. Patrick's Day--a very, very ill-advised idea.


Thanks for mentioning the Republican ire over Bill Clinton laughing at Ron Brown’s funeral.  My memory of that is still pretty fresh. As I recall there we no Republican members of Congress in attendance at his service.  Not one.  Clinton may have laughed, but at least he had enough respect for his cabinet member to be there for the funeral.


If your friends don't bring over enough food to make Jenny Craig faint, you've not got enough friends.

If your family doesn't bring out the dorky pictures of you on Easter of your thirteenth year, you've done them wrong.

If there are no tears, you never mattered.  If there is no laughter, you had no life.

Singing and storytelling are necessary.  And I'm an Episcopalian. 


Ted was a Mick...of course there will be laughter and tears and probably lots of booze at the various wakes.  I'd hoist a pint of Guiness for Himself!
If the Rethugs don't like it, they can go to Hell; no doubt many are headed that way now.


August 26 - I was at Congressman Al Green's town hall on health care last night in Missouri City.  I took some great pictures for you, and then promptly went off and left my camera at the event.  So, if you found my camera, call me.
     Here's a shot I took with my cell phone of the line of people just waiting to get in.  Okay, so that's boring.  I lost my danged camera, okay?  I'm a natural blonde - just consider yourself lucky that I even remember where I was last night. 
     Republicans in Fort Bend County are very fond of saying that they are not concerned about winning in 2010 because African Americans won't vote with Obama not being on the ballot.
     They are whistling past the graveyard, Babe.
     Over 1,100 people attended Al Green's town hall in Fort Bend County. Contrast that to the 200 people who showed up at Pete Olson's.  Black Americans feel empowered.  They will show up and they will vote. 
     Of the 1,200 people there, no more than a couple dozen were Republicans Screamers. 
     They didn't scream.  That could have been because Constable Ruben Davis, who is so big that he looks like he ate his brother, was keeping order.  They took one look at Ruben and decided he could have all the order he wanted and then some.
     And then there was Congressman Al, a very smooth operator.  He got us all to agree on rules and all agreeing to respect each other before this sucker even started.  Al Green's intelligence, good humor, and obvious love of his country came shining through last night as it usually does.  He caught the Republican Screamers off guard
     Also unlike Pete Olson's town hall, Congressman Green ain't no danged scardy cat.  Questions were not screened.  No siree, he took questions from the floor.  All he asked is that if you had a question, you put your name in a bowl.  Names were drawn by different audience members who verified that was the name they drew. 
     Congressman Al Green ain't no Pete Olson wimp. 
     He made us a promise that night.  Whatever health care reform they pass, he will give up his congressional health care and take the program all the rest of us have.
     It was a great evening with great friends.

August 26 - I was prepared to write about Congressman Al Green's town hall this morning, but even the 1,100 people there, almost to a person acting like a Norman Rockwell painting, which seemed so grand and promising last night, seems small compared to the loss of health care's largest leader.

"For all those whose cares have been our concern, the work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die."

-Sen. Ted Kennedy
1980 Democratic National Convention

     I will write about the town hall later.  I promise.

August 25 -

Dear Sweet Jesus,

     You know that Sermon on the Mount you gave because so many people came while you were healing the sick that you had to climb a mountain to be seen and heard?
     Remember that part where you said blessed are the merciful?  You didn't exactly mean us, did ya?  See, I'm wondering about that because there are so many Christians who want to leave all the healing up to you.  They don't want everybody to have heath care, just the rich, who, of course, you love best.  Which I'm sure makes you very happy, but also very busy because there are so many un-rich since you won the 2000 election.  Not a criticism.  I'm just saying .....
     And that Love One Another stuff was just your hippie phase, right?  You changed your mind about that after you met some Romans, right?
     And that part in Matthew 6 about religious ostentatious behavior, concerning alms, praying, and fasting not being done in public?  Well, that wasn't for Michelle Bachmann, right?
     So, anyway, here's the deal - if you hear a prayer from starving Michele asking you to do something really mean, a few of us would appreciate it if you could ask your Father about that lightening thing. 

Your Friend Susan

Susan, the one thing I've learned here in South Mississippi is that when someone talks about what a fine Christian they are, or if someone tells you that someone is a fine, pious, honest Christian, look out.  You're about to get screwed.  But don't worry.  They are against gays and abortion so they must be fine Christians, and they'll be in church Sunday slapping backs and singing psalms.

August 25 - I am going to enjoy the 2010 Republican primary more than I ever even dreamed of. 
     Most of you know that Sarah Palin will be endorsing Governor Rick Perry for re-election over Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison. 
     Now come to find out, Newt Gingrich, my personal favorite Republican moral degenerate in a field of plenty, is coming to Texas to endorse Railroad Commissioner Michael Williams for Hutchison's senate seat. 
     Ho boy, I get a front row seat to a Republican free for all right here in Texas.  I'm gonna have to install a Nasty-O-Meter before this sucker is over.

August 24 - I pledge allegiance to Bob's shirt, under God, with liberty and justice for Bob.
     Can you even begin to imagine what Republicans would say if we had done a stunt like this?

Illinois Republicans are a patriotic bunch.

They start their meetings with a recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance, the nation’s unofficial loyalty oath. And so it was last week when Republican Party leaders met at a Springfield hotel prior to attending Republican Day at the Illinois State Fair.

Republican county chairmen (party leaders, not county board leaders) held a meeting and prepared to recite the pledge. Oops. There was no flag in the room for them to face while reciting. What to do?

Why, call on a fellow named Gene to come to the rescue. Gene was wearing a shirt decked out in an American flag pattern. He came forward, and the group of assembled Republicans pledged allegiance to his shirt.

     This is not Gene.  However, I suspect this is Gene's wife, Rhonda Lynn, borrowing Gene's shirt for a little post-meeting head knocking.  It just ain't proper to hit somebody you disagree with unless you're wearing a flag. 


Ms. Susan,

It's been over forty years since Abbie Hoffman wore a shirt like that before the House UnAmerican Activities Committee. He was arrested for flag desecration and sentenced to thirty days in jail. Those were the good old days, huh?

Brad Dean
Clear Lake

Susan, I don't remember exactly when or where, but the same thing happened (pledging to flag shirt) in Fort Bend at some Republican function in the last few years. I wasn't particularly offended or I would have written about it. I just thought it was silly.

I do remember going to a Republican convention a few years ago when they were determined to keep me out of the party and I was determined to be in just to irritate them. Everyone there--man, woman and child--had on some form of a flag or red, white, and blue on their person. I do remember writing then that the same people wanted to throw hippies in jail for wearing the same things 20 years ago.


The last time I saw the American flag hanging from something that ugly was Jerry Jones' new stadium in Arlington... (sorry...Cowboys-hater from way back...)  



August 24 - Speaking of Phil Gramm, there appears to be a stint on Dancing with the Stars to make money in his future, too ----

IN recent days, yet another wealthy private customer of the Swiss-based banking conglomerate UBS admitted to criminal fraud in a growing parade of perp walks that could extend into the thousands.

It is a case that threatens to ensnare former Sen. Phil Gramm, the Texas Republican who is vice chairman of UBS' investment banking business. Given the widespread involvement of UBS in what the Justice Department alleges were systematic efforts to violate U.S. tax laws, it must be asked: Did Gramm as a top executive have no inkling about what was going on?

     It's worth reading the whole article to see how Phil and his wife are going to have to decide if they are the most crooked or the most naive and incompetent people on the planet.  Given both their egos, they would never admit to the last.

Ever notice how as he gets older and older ol' Phil comes more and more to resemble a malevolent stomped on toad Muppet?


Dear Ms. Susan,

I've been waiting a long time for this. Phil and Wendy were big players in the Enron debacle, but they skated on all that. Gramm was behind the deregulation that crashed the US economy last year bringing world-wide disaster, but somehow that's getting blamed on Barack Obama.  Now he's done a number on the Swiss Banking system. Makes me wonder if the Gnomes of Zurich are the type of folks that would have somebody whacked for messing up their business.

Charly Hoarse


August 23 - As I've said before, my Congressvarmint, Pete Olson is Phil Gramm's puppet.
     That becomes very obvious at townhall meetings when Pete can't answer questions if Phil's not there; and even if Phil is there, Pete can't talk when Phil's drinking water.
     Pete had a townhall meeting yesterday in Republican country.  I didn't get to go, but my friend Hal taped the event and my friend Geri scanned copies of the handouts.  
     Pete Olson could not answer the simple question, "What is the Republican health care plan?"  His gold star answer was, "To have affordable, available, quality healthcare."  Period.  The end.  That's it. 
     Helluva plan.
     When he was asked the one word question, "How?", Olson launched into a crazy rant.
     Go see it on Hal's site.  It's a treat.  Hals' entry about the event is also a treat.
     And Geri scanned the handouts.  It has a copy of the Republican plan (You'll just love it!) and a picture of a little boy that the Democrats would have killed.  Pete Olson gleefully exploits children. 
     I think what Olson needs are pictures of people who have died while insurance fat cats got between them and their doctor.  I can provide him some dandy ones.
     Here's the handouts in pdf format.  When you see it, you will understand why Pete Olson is singlehandedly responsible for the dumbing down of America. 
     The #1 thing that will pop out for you is that the Republicans have no plan for stinkin' anything.  And it's right there in writing.   
     I particularly like the graph that doesn't understand that there are fewer 70 year olds than 30 year olds.  Pete Olson is hoping that his supporters failed math.
     Thanks to Geri and Hal for being our eyes and legs this weekend.  They said it was great fun!

August 21 - Thanks to Mike for this excellent Tom DeLay website.
     I wish I could do Photoshop.  It's a skill I haven't bothered to learn, but I guess that's going to have to change this television season.  Otherwise, this won't be any fun at all.
     I have never seen this many people have this much fun with Tom DeLay since .... well, since his book came out and flopped.  No, maybe since his website flopped.  No, no, wait, since it was discovered that he has no marketable skills and can't get a job. 

August 20 - Well, I raked a little muck today.
     And a big ole hi to Lou Dubose, too.  Those of you who don't subscribe to The Washington Spectator are missing a real treat.  Head on over there and subscribe - it's the smartest $18 you'll ever spend.  Lou is as smart as Rice University with a ten pound dictionary.

August 20 - This is local stuff, but I am sure that Republicans are doing much the same thing in your area.
     This is on this week's Commissioners Court Agenda:

268th DISTRICT COURT:  Take all appropriate action on request to authorize reimbursement for the cost of roundtrip airfare to Reno, Nevada, $838.90 to Judge Brady Elliott, for use of private aircraft to attend judicial courses at the National Judicial College.  (Fund:  268th District Court, Travel)

     Republican District Court Judge Brady Elliott wants taxpayers to pay $839 for a private jet to take him to a judicial conference. 
     I checked and I can get the same flight for $250, for a savings of $589. 
     Now, you'd think that in tough economic times, elected officials would be aware of the hardships that taxpayers are facing instead of being in your face with their fancy pants ways.
     You'd even think Elliott would watch the spending since he's up for re-election next year.
     You'd think wrong.
     This is Republican Judge Brady Elliott.  What a jerk.

August 20 - For those of you emailing me and looking for something about Tom DeLay's claims concerning one of his townhalls ---

When I did my town hall meetings — I’ll never forget one back in the 80s, on health care, by the way. They brought in quadriplegics on gurneys and dumped them on the floor in front of my podium.

     That never happened. 
     Since the early 1980's when Tom was in the State House and I was writing for the local newspaper, Bev Carter, the publisher of the Fort Bend Star, or I attended every damn townhall that Tom had.  Something like that would have made the news.  Quadriplegic dumping is not something Bev nor I would have taken lightly. 
     Please remember that back in the 1980's, Tom has admitted, although I beat him to the punch by writing about it at the time it was happening, that he was drinking very heavily and trying to chacha nakkid with every filly in a swatch of counties between here and Austin. 
     My theory is that he was in a whorehouse, so drunk that he had to hold on to a rug to lean against the floor, and had a Come To Jesus Meeting with Jack Daniel, Jose Cuervo, and a pavement princess - who wasn't enjoying it. 
     I can see how he'd get those things confused. 
     Yes, Friends, Tom DeLay makes stuff up.  Maybe he quit drinkin' but he hasn't quit lyin'.

UPDATE:  I called Bev Carter again today to see if remembered anything about what Tom described  after she had a while to think about it.
     "That did not happen," she said in a very loud voice.  I agree. 

After seeing your latest entry on "Drunky McPukeshoes," my husband suggested that Tom is confusing the time HE was on a gurney in Detox and fell off, thinking he was speaking to his constituents.

Susan, I liked him better when he was drinkin'.  He quit lyin' when he started drinkin'.


Susan, you’re not the only one who found happiness when  ‘ol Possum Head decided to take up dancing.  Gail Collins of the New York Times was tickled too.

“Headed to the studio for my first rehearsal and to meet my partner. Hope it’s not Nancy Pelosi :),” DeLay twittered with the wry sense of humor we have come to know and love. The new site had only 1,489 followers as of Wednesday. It hasn’t been up long, but he had better get cracking. One of his competitors, the recycled reality show star Kelly Osbourne, has more than 110,000. “

Here’s the link

There’s truly is a God and He or She has a wicked sense of humor.

Take care,



I don't EVER remember someone doing that and I think we certainly would have heard about it.

My favorite part of his interview with Chris Matthews is when he said, "keep the government out of my healthcare!" Wonder why he didn't feel that way about Terry Schiavo?


August 19 - Those of you who saw Tom DeLay go all certifiable on Hardball today, claiming that quadriplegics were dumped in front of his podium when he spoke and showing off his high heel prancing shoes   ....


... will be happy to know that we found his birth certificate. Thanks to USexpat for the sleuthing.

     And then there was his whine that he cannot carry a firearm while indicted.  Tom, Honey, your indictment has had the lifespan of a crowbar.  You want your gun back? Quit ordering your lawyer to set up roadblocks to going to trial. 

     OF NOTE:  A local celebrity girlfriend and I will soon be announcing a special Tom DeLay Watch Night for the Dancing With The Stars that shows Tom shaking his moneymaker.  So, go get yourself a can of Aqua Net, some Catch-me Kiss-me shoes, and a feather boa, 'cuz there won't be any left in town once we announce this sucker. 

August 19 - Thanks to Carl for letting me know that some politicians may be owing me some money.
     It seems that Governor Sanford's in-laws are requesting a refund on campaign contributions they gave him.

In the latest example of the dismantling of one of the Palmetto State’s legendary political partnerships, the family of S.C. First Lady Jenny Sanford is reportedly asking S.C. Gov. Mark Sanford for its money back.

The Sullivan Family – which is heir to the Skil Corporation fortune – has contributed substantially to both of the governor’s successful statewide campaigns ....

     You know, this is a plan I like.
     Say you give a campaign contribution to a politician and that politician turns out to be a stinker, getting in bed with the other Party or a South American hottie.  You can request a refund.
     Helluva an idea.
     What this country needs is more money-back-guarantee politicians, dammit.
     From this day forward, I am going to make politicians sign a guarantee contract before I give them money.

     Can I get a second to this motion?

    Susan. You have mine. A backup plan would include a hammer, nails and a couple of two by fours.


Susan, Do you stay up nights, dreaming these things up? If so, here's to productive insomnia! Can we include right wing talk show hosts guaranteeing that their rants are truthful to this list....never mind! What was I thinking?


If we do this, I know a couple of Blue Dogs who owe you and me a lot of money!


Hi Susan,

John Edwards owes me and yours $ back as well.  Pay up, John!  Sanford just keeps getting better and better.  Don't bite the hand that feeds you can be such a burden.


August 18 - Thanks to Sybil for sending me this pretty darned clever YouTube. 


     "I'm not crazy" indeed.  It has been my experience in life that if people have to tell you that they're not crazy, they probably are.  Sanity is of those thing you usually notice by just looking.

     By the way, you can see it in full size right here.

I've noticed the same thing with respect to racists.  If they feel inclined to just tell you "I'm not a racist," when no on has asked or accused them of such, it strikes me they are racists.


August 18 - Okay, so it's on the frontpage of the Houston Chronicle this morning.  Dancin' Tom DeLay claims that he can actually dance. 
     So I know he claimed he could actually write a book that people would read, and that he's not a slut, and that he didn't even know Jack Abramoff, and that he's innocent of all charges, and that child labor laws were being followed in the Marianas Islands, and that he did not pay a voodoo queen to put a curse on Newt Gingrich.  But this is a whole new deal.  You don't lie about rubbin' bellys on the daince-floor in Texas.  You can go to hell for that.
     Tom's website has undergone it's fifth money-maker revision in preparation for Tom to take his righteous place on the world stage.  I know his other money-makers fell flat, including at short but brilliant stint at selling DeLay Inspired Jesus Scented Bibles.
     Yesterday, I got an email from some wacky woman at some non profit who wanted me to write a petition against Tom appearing on the show so she could send it around to get it signed and then send it to the show's producers. 
     Are you nuts?
     Y'all, I'm so excited about this that butter melts in my presence.  My bobbin is wound tight and you'd think I had fire ants in my britches. 
     We're planning female watch parties all over the county.  We're wearing boas, big ole hair, and strappy heels.  There won't be a sequin to be had in a five county area.  It's gonna be bigger than a ten buggy prayer meeting, Babe.  I'll make sure you're invited.
     So some damn fool said I might regret this if Tom is a good dancer.  No, I will not.  I want him to be wonderful. I hope he wins every week.  I do.  Then I gotta walk sideways to keep from flying until the next week. 
     Y'all, listen up - this is great.  The Good Lord has kept me alive the last two years just to see this.  I've earned it. 
     I only have one qualm.  Back when Anna Nicole Smith had her own teevee show, I watched it once.  Only once because I thought it was sad.  Anna was intellectually challenged and did not realize that people were laughing at her - that she was an oddity being exploited, not a star, but she wasn't smart enough to know that.  It made me feel a sorry for her being so desperate for attention.
     I am a tiny bit afraid that I'll feel the same way about Tom.

Tweet with Tom.

Hey Zeus


Apparently Tommy is out doing sum kinda promotional tour for his much anticipated appearance on DWTS. 



Oh look, Susan.  He's using emoticons.  Isn't that just too adorable!!!!????!!!! 


August 18 - Those of you around here for the last election know that we got ourselves a Democratic county commissioner in my precinct after years of a Republican who was more concerned with scoring baseball tickets from county vendors than actually doing something that even vaguely appeared to be work. 
    Our Democrat, Richard Morrison, needs our help.  He's put together a plan to widen Crabb River Road, which is desperately needed with the new growth in the area.  Read all about it on Richard's blog
     Richard needs letters from us to get a TIGER grant, and he needs us to show up at commissioner's court to let them know we support this mobility project.
     The last paragraph of Richard's blog entry is the bottom line.  If you live in Fort Bend, here's a chance to do something that will make a difference in our everyday lives.  Just do it.

August 17 - Deb and Jesus both sent me another to add to our collection of Very Smart Republicans:

     Personally, I like having pubic options because I enjoy being a girl.  And I like to cha cha with the other pubic option.  However, having known some Republican men, I can understand why a Republican woman would oppose it. 

August 17 - I want to thank Mike for making my whole day - no, make that year
     The following actual newspaper clipping is brought to you by the letters W, T, and F.

NEW YORK (AP) -- Former Republican Majority Leader Tom DeLay will join 15 celebrities from the worlds of entertainment and sports in kicking up their heels on the new season of ''Dancing With the Stars.''

The show's largest cast ever, announced Monday, features singers Mya, Macy Gray and Aaron Carter; actors Ashley Hamilton, Melissa Joan Hart and Debi Mazar (MAY'-zahr); and models Joanna Krupa and Kathy Ireland.

Contestants also include reality stars Mark Dacascos and Kelly Osbourne; entertainer Donny Osmond; mixed martial artist Chuck Liddell (lih-DEL'); professional snowboarder Louie Vito; Olympic swimmer Natalie Coughlin (KAWG'-lin); former Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Michael Irvin and the former congressman from Texas.

The ninth season of the hit ABC show premieres Sept. 21.

     Well, we should have seen this coming.  He's good at the sidestep. 
     Tom DeLay's new slogan:  Have given up on Jesus.  Will dance for green fees.
     He's gone from "I am the Federal Government," to "I am Charo."
     He has been reduced to making a fool of himself on national teevee just to get attention.  Honey, that's even better than seeing him go to jail.
     Oh God, now I can die a happy woman.

Susan, watching a guy the size of a pixie dancing around in a sequined shirt will be more fun than I can almost stand.  You should ask for no more favors from God.  You've gotten your dream.


LOVING THIS!!  I guess Blagojevich is the new model for the professional trajectory of disgraced politicos.  Can't wait to see Sanford on I Survived a Japanese Game Show...I hope he gets the one where they put scorpions in his shorts.


You know your career might be fading when ... you're billed behind Melissa Joan Hart, Kelly Osbourne, and Ashley Hamilton.  Read and weep, Tom.

Hey Zeus

DeLay will move to L.A. until voted off Dancing with the Stars:
Maybe Texas can pass a law to prevent him from coming back?


One of the comments on the HuffPost story about Delay was:
"Someone hold back my hair while I vomit"
There were many other good ones.


Oh Lordy, Susan. The only thing that would make this better is if Jerry Springer were on this year too.  I wonder what kind of stickum he’ll use to keep from losing his hair. The Hammer does the two-step . . . . . Must stop laughing before co-workers call the emergency response team -


I was wondering how they decided which celeb is paired with which professional dancer. The ol' dreaded short straw.


The only thing that would tempt me to watch that jackass on DWTS would be to see if his dance partner would deliberately trip him.
I'd pay good money to see that!
But I'm also in the "makes me want to vomit" club.


August 16 - The McClatchy newspapers have done some research on who is behind the rightwing assault on improving health care in America. 
     Shock of all shocks - it's all about who stands to financially benefit on the backs on the middle class. 
     Remember when the rightwing extremists used to call us Commie Dupes?  Honey, they had no idea how dupey they would become.

August 16 - Those of you who saw Meet The Press this morning know why you should feel ashamed that you cost Dick Armey his job.
     That adorable lug could not possibly make a living anywhere else.  Explain to me how he's supposed to keep up the caloric intake that it requires to be Dick Armey when he can't find gainful employment now.
     My personal favorite part was when Dick was astounded and shocked, shocked, I tell you, that some guy was taken off disability and sent a bill for $21,000 after he had been on disability for 7 years.  This is proof that people should be mad at their government.  Look at what they did to this poor guy!
     Dick was horrified, horrified, I tell you, that this guy's congressman or Senator wouldn't help him so the guy was reduced to calling Dick for help.
     Ya know, we have no proof that this guy even exists, but if he does then I'll bet you my best pair of pink boots that he got caught in a little fraud.  It may take them 7 years to catch you, but they will catch you.
     In fact, I think I got an email from this guy wanting to split his lottery winnings with me.
     Dick Armey - they don't call him Dick for nothin'.

Concerning the man who owed $21,000 --

 I remember my mother used to tell me things like that they went “ I knew a little girl who crossed the street without looking and….”   The stories were all about “a little girl”  and let me tell you they never had a happy ending.


The looks on Rachel's face throught the program were priceless. If she had been a cat, her back woulda been arched , every bit of fur on end and claws ready to strike. That man makes my skin crawl and she had to have been in great discomfort. I thought she handled it all very well.


Susan , I thought the same thing you did - omg, Armey is feeling badly for a man who defrauded Medicare Disability for 7 years.  I guess that's no more strange than making a hero out of Joe the Plumber.

Ethel from East Texas

I couldn't decide if Dick's wringing his hands and twiddling his thumbs was a nervous tic or just a symptom of a strong desire to get them around Rachel's neck.


August 14 - Shame on you.  I hope you're proud of yourself now.  You pushed Dick Armey out of his cushy job.  Shame, shame, shame. 

Dick Armey, the former House Majority Leader, is leaving his job with top Washington lobbying firm DLA PIper, citing negative attention that the firm is receiving thanks to the role of Armey's corporate-backed outfit, FreedomWorks, in turning out protesters to shut down town hall meetings on health care.

     No, it was not Dick Armey's fault for getting involved with some shady activities.  No, that was not why he was asked to leave.
     He was asked to leave because you're a jerk.  Got that?  It's your fault, dammit. 

August 14 - I got mine ordered.  Head on over and get yours.

     Click right here and get yours for only $10.  Face it, it's worth $10 to hack off your brother-in-law.
     And I have another question this morning.  When are we going to prosecute Karl Rove?  Good Lord, what is wrong with that man?  Why does he hate American so much?  Does he think people will ever trust him again after 8 years of the Worst President Ever?  Is he mentally and emotionally handicapped?  Why can't he just shuddup?  Okay, so that's more than one question, but not if you say it all real fast.

August 14 - And Carl sent this one - click the little one to get the big one.

August 13 - My good friend Bud in Minnesooota sent us this picture of the day ---



Encouraging bumper sticker observed yesterday in the Houston Heights: "Los Republicanos no hablamos por mi".

Buzzards have come home to roost over Republicans in Tejas!


Yellow Dog Democrat in North Montrose

Susan -

Reminds me of  this one ---

I am saddened to know that our ONLY lanaguage is English.  I wanted another lanaguage, like Spanagish.

Hey Zeus


Well, the two photos of the English speaking "morans" is right on.  Unfortunately, the bumper sticker that Bruce quotes,
"Los Republicanos no hablamos por mi", is as bad.  Hablamos should have been "hablan".  Obviously written by a south Texas gringo rather than a good south Texas Texican.

David Bodwell
Editorial Mazatlán

August 13 - Bud also wants me to remind everybody that Michelle Bachmann makes Sarah Palin look like a Mensa member. 
     Bud found a collection for our entertainment. 
     Michelle speaks only to God and her husband ---


     Yep - my kind of woman.  One taco short of the Laredo plate. 
     My favorite part is when she calls herself a "fool for Christ."  I'm sure that Sweet Jesus appreciates the disclaimer.

Susan, Michelle Bachmann's admission that she fasted as part of her decision making routine does explain a lot! The poor woman isn't bat crap crazy! the poor baby is just light headed from lack of nourishment to her brain.


Hi Susan,

I want to share something, speaking of fools.  I went to a "singles" thing a few years ago at a church.  (I am not a Christian, but always nosey).  So the minister (very hunky, married) got to speechifying and told the story of him being tempted by a woman from work.  So he went to his wife and they went on their knees and prayed about it............etc. you know the rest.............
So, WTF is that about?  He takes this to his wife and makes it HER problem?  Get up off your knees and slap him silly and tell him to go back to work!

So here's the good part.  When there was a break, people said to me, oh, we don't pay any attention to that stuff!  OMG don't you just love it???


PS:  Is M Bachman a member of the Family?  Maybe they can't join, but she is subservient to her husband, maybe they make an acception in her case.  acception, get it, I made a joke.

August 12 - Oh lookie, now they're leaving their gang sign on Democratic congressional offices.

     That's good - the rightwing has finally selected an appropriate gang sign.

At a contentious town hall meeting last week, Rep. David Scott (D-GA) shot back at the protesters who were disrupting his event by accusing them of “hijack[ing]” the gathering. Now, Scott’s district office in Smyrna, GA, has been vandalized with a four-foot swastika painted onto his door.

     Gee, what a great way to say, "Nazis have been here."

August 12 - This is a very cool tool.
     It generates side-by-side comparisons of the different health care plans now in play. 
     It's interactive so you can hone-in on what is important to you and help settle any arguments you might be having with the crazy guy across the street. 
     Go take a goo.  You'll thank me.

August 12 - Oh Lord, I'm so excited that I gotta walk sideways to keep from flying.  This is going to be more fun than a fire at the IRS office.
     Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison is gonna take on Gov. Rick Perry all over Texas, starting in LaMarque

U.S. Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison will return to her hometown of La Marque next week to formally announce she will run for governor.

While her campaign staff would not confirm the early morning rally to be held at La Marque High School on Monday, La Marque City Manager Eric Gage let the cat out of the bag Tuesday morning when he posted an announcement on his Twitter page.

     This race has already gotten so good that Harvey Kronberg has this at The Quorum Report.

     It's worth the price of admission, Babe.
     Let the biting, pinching and hair pulling begin!

August 12 - We get email from far away places ---


I got pointed to your site from my favorite ex-pat, Avedon Carol, and just wanted to say hi.

Good catch on the hypocrite jerk demanding to see Obama's birth certificate.

I am another ex-pat, originally from Kansas City, Missouri, so you already know why I ran. met a girl from Australia, fell hard for that accent, (and married someone smarter than me too good to let go of), and find myself in Melbourne, Australia permanently 33 years and two kids later. The kids turned out real good, even though they were mostly raised outside of the USA, broad background and all of that stuff.

In Australia, as in England, we enjoy Universal Health Care that works well, although a hybrid public/private plan, public good coverage, and the option of private to jump the queue for elective types of surgery.

So I now try to let everyone I can know back home, (and as evidenced here, some I don't know), that universal Health Care is a very good thing.

And I also wanted to pass onto a Texan how very much I miss Molly Ivins. You all had a jewel there, and I miss her wit, her passion for America, and the constitution.

I have bookmarked ya, and will come by a visit occasionally. Best of luck, enjoyed reading your site, and love your brand...

Bill Davis
Melbourne, Australia


August 11 - My friend Charly Hoarse does something he calls The Chupacabra Report - News That Gets My Goat.  I honestly wish I had thought of that.
     Anyway, today Charly takes after Joe Nixon, a man in desperate need of taking.  Joe was often on the Texas Monthly's Ten Worst Legislators list.  He got his rump defeated a couple of years ago but still loves big insurance.
    It seems that Joe's captors, the Texas Insurance Lobby, require him to write something every now and then even if he has nothing to say.  And the Houston Chronicle publishes it.
     It's a sad state of affairs.

August 11 - The Harris County GOP Headtwit, Jared Woodfill, sent out an email yesterday with instructions to his sheeple to "make your voice heard" at Sheila Jackson Lee's town hall meetings.
     You know what that means, don't ya?
     Very loud and disruptive whining. 
     Having been a part of some GOP head busting at another event, I am pleased to announce that there's laws against thuggery in Texas.

... the 1st Amendment to the U.S. Constitution protects one from being prosecuted for political speech, but does not protect you from disrupting the political speech of others.

     Smart folks will take a good ole Republican law-and-order stance and demand that charges be filed. 

Have you seen this?

Don A.


August 11 - A friend of mine from Minnesoooota sent me this heads-up in one of the local papers.  I filed it under the title of, "How Would Jesus Riot?"

Jan Markell of Maple Grove–based Olive Tree Ministries called on her radio listeners to attend congressional town hall meetings in August. “Here’s what you can do, your congressmen and senators are coming home for much of August,” she said on last week’s program. “They are going to have town hall meetings all over the place. You need to go there and give them an earful. The ideal thing to do is to go to their town hall and read them the riot act — in Christian love — but read them the riot act on this issue of health care.”

     Let me see if I've got this right.  We're supposed to pray when we get sick, but put on our hat and go kick butt when heath care is on the table?
     I dunno.  Maybe I went to the wrong churches all my life, but I have a hard time finding any scripture to support living in compound in Waco, Texas, with child brides or screaming to drown out other people's right to free speech.  I never remember Sweet Jesus ever saying, "Go forth and holler your danged fool head off."
     I could be wrong about this.  I've been wrong about Sweet Jesus before.  I mean, I didn't even know that he's a Republican. 

August 10 - Thanks to Barbara for reminding me why the Libertarians are oh so wrong.

August 9 - Our buddy, West Texas Congressvarmint Cap'n Randy Neugebauer, of "The Yachting Neugebauers" fame, has signed on with other goofy congressvarmints to demand that they get to see Barack Obama's original birth certificate. 
     They think President Obama is an illegal alien, and only producing the original birth certificate would disprove that. 
     Accordingly, today is Day #1 of Where in the World is Randy Neugebauer's Birth Certificate?
     In a charming turn of events, it seems that Yachting Randy refuses to produce a birth certificate of his own.  I, personally, think it's because he was born in France, which would explain a lot about those those sissy pants he wears on the yacht.   
     It is certainly interesting that Randy wouldn't even produce his birth certificate for the Houston Chronicle.

Texas Rep. Randy Neugebauer declined the chance to show his proof of birth. His staff sent a one-line e-mail response: “Congressman Neugebauer will not be submitting a copy of his birth certificate."

     Also, you have to wonder how upset Randy would be if John McCain had been elected President, because McCain truly was not born in the USA.    
     Bubba says he doesn't give a flip about Randy's birth certificate, but he would like to see the certified results of Randy's IQ test.

He doesn't want to produce it because it shows he was born in MISSOURI.


August 9 - Thank you, Jim Morin. 

August 7 - My friend Ellen sent this and says she got it from her friend Elizabeth, so this is third hand but I believe it ---

How Dry Is It?

It's so dry in  Central Texas that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling; the Methodists are using wet-wipes; the Presbyterians are giving out rainchecks; and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water.

August 7 -  When the going gets tough, the Republicans ..... quit.

Republican Sen. Mel Martinez of Florida said Friday he will step down from the Senate before his term ends, adding fresh intrigue over who will fill the seat. Martinez, the only Hispanic Republican in the Senate, told reporters at a news conference he was leaving office of his "own free will." He announced his decision in December not to seek to re-election in 2010.

     He was one of the nine Senators who voted for Sotomayor, so I suspect that his GOP base was out to get him. 

August 6 - Uh, John, you just helped me find the  something smelling fishy and, Dude, it's you.

Texas Sen. John Cornyn, accusing the White House of compiling an "enemies list," has asked President Barack Obama to stop an effort to collect "fishy" information Americans see about a health care overhaul.

Cornyn, who leads the Republicans' Senate campaign effort, said Wednesday in a letter to Obama that he's concerned that citizen engagement on the issue could be "chilled." He also expressed alarm that the White House could end up collecting electronic information on its critics.

     John, Babe, people see you acting fishy all the danged time and they send it to me.  Goodness sake, both Jim and Bud and sent me this one.  They both have collected evidence that you're nuts.
     John, remember the Terri Schiavo event, when you threatened judges?  And, John, you sure didn't mind the Bush administration spying on everybody including your Grandma.
     But now when the Obama administration asks us to look for Republican lies on the internet, ho boy!, you put on your tin foil hat and think we're spying on you.
     John, it doesn't take the NSA to find you acting the fool.  Heck, me and Bud and Jim can do it without breaking into a sweat.

John Cornyn looks like Dale Evan's sister.



  Seeing that picture of a duded-up Senator "Hipshot" Cornyn always reminds me of a television ad from the 1960's: " long's it been since you had a big, steamin' bowl of Wolf Brand Chill? Heh heh...well,  that's too long!"

  Of course, I wouldn't buy a can of potted meat product from this guy, let alone chili.

  Geez...why did Noriega have to lose?

Kelly Bee

August 5 - We get Food for Fun Thought email ---

"Thirty hours ago, Euna Lee and I were prisoners in North Korea. We feared that at any moment we could be prisoners in a hard labor camp. Then suddenly we were told that we were going to a meeting. We were taken to a location and when we walked through the doors, we saw standing before us President Bill Clinton. We were shocked, but we knew instantly in our hearts that the nightmare of our lives was finally coming to an end. And now we stand here home and free."


I cannot even imagine.

Also, here's what's weird: If I was in a North Korean prison, cut off from the world, and then the door opened, and there stood George W. Bush........well......I have to say I wouldn't be entirely certain that my ordeal was over.  In other words, you see Clinton and you think "freedom!", but you see Bush there, and you think "What's he doing here? Did they catch him too? Or is he in on it? What the hell is going on?"

And you know, in my mind, Bubba has gone and done made up for a lot of the stuff he did last summer....



August 5 - Want to see a very pretty picture?

Click this one to see the big one.    

What happened to the Southern Majority and where did it go? And do we really want the right wing crazies on our side?

I heard it was catching and turns the brain to mush.

First, your speech pattern deteriorates and you blame the media (Palin). You start screaming, then you get a crazed look on your face (Oreilly). You become rude and yell and shout at people (Hannity). You gain lots of weight, go deaf and talk more crazy (Limbaugh). You begin to look like a man ( Anne Coulter) or a witch (Malkin). The end stage is very crazy paranoid talk and you cry about your country (Beck).

Of course some just go out and have sex with women who are not their wives and then they find Jesus. And a million excuses why they should not resign from their job, even though if we did the same thing, they'd call us pond scum.

You know, maybe those "camps" Homeland Security are going to build are really for the remaining red States. You never know!


August 5 - Oh God help us, it's spreading.

Dr. Rand Paul, a Bowling Green, Ky., eye surgeon and the son of U.S. Rep. Ron Paul, is running for the U.S. Senate and will be in Richmond Aug. 22 for a fund-raiser.

Rand Paul announced Wednesday he’ll be a Republican candidate for retiring Kentucky Sen. Jim Bunning’s seat, according to Sugar Land political consultant Mark Elam, who will host the Richmond fund-raiser.

     No kidding, he named his kid after Ayn Rand.  You would name your kid after a Russian atheist who wrote melodramatic and self-indulgent novels espousing that selfishness is a virtue?  Damn, I know full fledged, hard core Libertarians who wouldn't go that far. 
     Look, I read Ayn Rand in the 10th grade just like everybody else.  However, I got over it by the end of my freshman year of college, like most people do.
     So, the world needs two Dr. Nos?  Ron Paul is plenty entertaining, and God knows he went through a whole bunch of money during the last Presidential election without much to show for it, and I do have to say that he lives by his beliefs, but those beliefs are mean, greedy, wacky, and non productive. 
     Libertarians can be elementary philosophers or they can govern.  But, they cannot do both. 

I wish I had a magic time machine to take every LibbyTarryAnn back to the Triangle Shirtwaist Company in New York City on the 25th of March 1911. This is the result of limited government. Enjoy your factory fire.


August 5 - Okay, so you know it's hot even for Texas when your county posts links to Heat and Drought Emergency information on the Facebook.

     Honey, we haven't had rain since Noah died.  And it's so hot that corn is popping on the stalk. 
     Thank you, Fort Bend County for tips to keep cool, but I think you should have added, "Be nakkid as much as possible.  It won't keep you much cooler but it'll entertain the neighbors." 
     Or - "Try not to upset Republicans.  All that hot air will just make matters worse."

August 4 - Obama may know how to have a beer with the boys, but you still have to call The Big Dog when dealing with crazy people, women, or in this case - both.

North Korean President Kim Jong Il has pardoned and released two U.S. journalists, state-run news agency KCNA said Wednesday.

     Thank you again, Bill.

Hi, Susan,
I admit I never thought Big Dog was apt until now, when by God he did a great fetch this time. 
from Ruth

August 4 - Oh crap, he's made Sean Hannity an honorary Texan.  I guess I'm going to have to start referring to myself as a native of Baja Oklahoma. 

     Does anybody want to guess how drunk Hannity was?  I can't even figure out what he's saying at the end except that he hates paying taxes, and I know he said that because he always says that.

Dear Susan,
    I'm pretty sure that Jerry Jeff qualifies as a Texan even though he was born in the Catskills.  And even though I lived there for a while, I'm pretty sure I don't -- you can take the boy out of Brooklyn and all that.  But what about my dog Joe?  I'm pretty sure he was born in Texas because we got him from the League City Animal shelter and when we moved to Pennsylvania he had a hard time learning about stairs.  But the first time he encountered snow he absolutely loved rolling in it, biting it, and acting like it was his best friend so maybe he isn't.

    But from what I hear, if I could just get Ricky to declare him an honorary Texan, all that stuff about not knowing how to climb stairs and liking snow and being really, really, REALLY stupid wouldn't count.  Oh but wait,  I've never actually SEEN Hannity climb stairs and he acts really, really, REALLY stupid so maybe that's important.

    It all makes my head hurt.

    What I'm pretty sure of is that Willie is a Texan just the same way that Jerry Jeff is and that Robert Earl Keen is a Texan, and Townes van Zandt was probably a Texan and Gary P. Nunn is a Texan and LBJ was a Texan and George W. Bush was born in Connecticut and if he's a real Texan then my dog probably is, too.

Don A.


August 4 - Well now they've done it.
     The Huffington Post is fixing to get sued by Junior Janochek, Jr. of Junior Janochek's Rural Entertainment Promoters and Keg Delivery Service, Ltd. and Inc. 
     They used Junior's picture on their website in an article entitled "For the Modern GOP, It's a Return to the 'White Voter' Strategy."  Junior ain't pleased.

     Junior ain't please because that's not his best side.  Junior says that for the Huffington Post his best side is in the middle of himself backwards. 
     Junior, as you know, loves Jesus but hates Jews,  Mexicans* (except for their cooking), Blacks, homosexuals (which is a 5 syllable word for Junior) and wimmen libbers. He also ain't real fond of Eye-talians except for spaghetti. 
     I suspect that Junior will become the face of the New GOP so I will try to keep you informed of his activities.  I was even strongly considering giving him his own blog.  Seriously. 

August 4 - Woo, woo.  Here's some inside Dee Cee type gossip ---

Why was Kathleen Turner dining (solo!) in Crystal City on Saturday night? Turns out the whiskey-voiced actress had a secret project in D.C. -- playing the late political columnist Molly Ivins in a new one-act production getting a test staging here.

     She'd be great, huh?

August 4 - Campers with keen observation powers will notice that the link for my friend El Jefe Bob has changed.  El Jefe left the maddening crowd at the Chronicle's forum because - of shock of shocks - rightwingers who are a little shy of their hat size barfed their rants all over the place.  He and a buddy opened their own honky tonk.
     Something I've noticed:  rightwingers will attempt to consume anyone who has their own voice, but are pitifully limp when it comes to starting their own blogs --- or their own political party, for that matter.  I'm not declaring that to be law or anything.  It's just something I've noticed.
     So, head on over to The Daily Hurricane and take a gander at someone who can really write, has a great sense of humor, and is a much nicer person than I am.

August 3 - We get email to drive the rightwingers freekin' nuts.

Okay, cut the keerap with the obviously fake Kenyan birth certificate.  This is simply a fake distraction from Barack Obama's real original Canadian type birth certificate that was issued by a socialist health care dictator by the name of Dudley Doright.  It is certificate BR549, which is evidence enough of the legitimacy of this legitimate type Canadian legitimate birth certificate.
If you want to falsely cling to the fake Kenyan certificate you can go here to help with your legitimately certified real name endorsement. 
Piekup Andropov

No driving necessary.  (Turn down the sound if you're at work.)

Ms. Susan,

In "Naked Lunch," William S. Burroughs wrote of latahs, zombie-like people who could be assembled into crowds that could then be induced to demonstrate or riot.

And I thought it was fiction.

Charly Hoarse


Just had an interesting email exchange with George Noory, who is the host of a national late night radio call-in show, CoasttoCoastAM.   

I had written to tell him that after many years of listening, I was turning it off because it had become nothing but a refuge for right wing paranoia and conspiracy theories.  Noory is a birther, unconvinced that Obama is a citizen and spends hours on his show promoting the birther movement.   And he thinks that I am the crazy one for believing in facts.  

Of course, he also thinks Ron Paul, who is his hero, represents the mood of America. 



NOTE FROM SUSAN--- Being a radio freak, I used to listen to Noory because it was a break from politics.  I quit last week and found something else on my radio because Noory is joining the latahs.


August 3 - UPDATE:  Oh Dear Lord, some very smart person had uploaded a PDF of a blank Kenyan birth certificate that you can fill out for yourself.  You, too, can be born in the Kenya!

     Bless their hearts, those birther people started off slow and then tapered off.
     Now they're saying they got a Kenyan birth certificate for Obama.  I suspect they found it in the storage closet under their tin foil hats.  Honey, they have a big garden and a dull hoe.  However, it does not appear that this is going away for them.  They are Hooked on Crazy.
     I also suspect they have far too much time on their hands because some of them have taken to staging protests at Democratic congresscritter's home forums.  Austin's Lloyd Doggett got chased by a herd of them out of the Randall's grocery store in Austin.  I don't know if they were armed with cans of nuts, but I think that would be mighty appropriate. 
     Lloyd, to his everlasting credit, said he was sticking to his guns.

This mob, sent by the local Republican and Libertarian parties, did not come just to be heard, but to deny others the right to be heard. And this appears to be part of a coordinated, nationwide effort. What could be more appropriate for the “party of no” than having its stalwarts drowning out the voices of their neighbors by screaming “just say no”

   Honey, this is Texas.  Those folks are campaigning for a butt kicking because we Democrats have had it up to here with crazzzy Republicans trying to run things.
     I mean it. 
     And they are bragging about their disruptive behavior.  They obviously hate free speech and America.

August 2 - My friend Kary sent me this.  He doesn't know where it came from, but he loves it.  So do I.
     Kary suggests that you could make a whole lot of money by sending this to Republicans.

I am a Kenyan prince, and I have Barak Obama's Kenyan birth certificate, but I need your help to get it out of the country. Just give me your bank account number and I will open a safe deposit box at your bank in your name. I will then have the birth certificate that proves that Barak Obama was born here placed in your safe deposit box. There will be no need to repay me for this service, as I will be rewarded simply by knowing that you will do the right thing with this certificate and take back your country.

If you should happen to notice any large amounts of money missing from your accounts, do not be alarmed, they will be returned in no time. Just go about your business of saving your country and the monies will reappear shortly. Really, they will. Stop looking at the balance. I said stop looking, the money will be there lickedy split. That is unless Obama took it. Yeah, that's it, he's on to us. Hurry, get the birth certificate out of your box. Don't let them tell you there is no box, it is a lie.

August 2 - Feel like doing something that would make a real difference today?  Good on you.  (Work safe.)

August 1 - And they charge you cash American money to see if you're not even a tiny bit sane. 
     Having lost all their potential contributors by totally destroying the economy, the GOP has resorted to online trickery.  You can take a two part "survey" on Obama's domestic and foreign "agenda" (which sounds far more menacing than "programs"), but you have to pay to see the results.

4. Everyone's Survey answers will be tabulated. Those who donate may see Survey results in real time following their contribution.

     So, pay at least $10 and see if you're lockstep with Fox News and Dick Cheney.
     And even if you're not willing to pay, you will enjoy some of the questions.  I am certain that you ask yourself, "Where did I miss THAT?" ---

1. Do you agree with Barack Obama and the Democrats that taxes should be raised for the sake of "fairness," regardless of the negative impact it is likely to have on the economy?9. Do you agree with Barack Obama that empathy, and not impartiality and the rule of law, should be a judge's guiding factor when deciding a case?

9. Do you agree with Barack Obama that empathy, and not impartiality and the rule of law, should be a judge's guiding factor when deciding a case?

15. Are you in favor of creating a government funded "Citizen Volunteer Corps" that would pay young people to do work now done by churches and charities, earning Corps Members the same pay and benefits given to military veterans?

     Barack Obama: he hates churches, the Constitution and your right to shift your tax burden to the poor.  Obama baaaaaaad. 
     Good Lord - this is a Fox News test!
     Thanks to Brian for the heads-up.

I got one in the mail and so did my mother in law.  It's a whiny plea for money.  Survey my ass!


The old saying about a fool and his money applies here.

Of course that always begs the question,"How did the fool get money in the first place?"

The answer is they either got it the old fashioned way of inheriting it or they stole it.



Welcome to the website formerly known as The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.

My name is Susan DuQuesnay Bankston.
I live in Richmond, Texas, in heart of Tom DeLay's old district.  It's crazy here.  No, seriously, it's triple z crazzzy.

I used to be an independent voter, but that all changed when I got to know a few local Republicans.  They are meaner than 10 acres of snakes and have the ethical compass of a bank robber. 

So, I decided that they could just Kiss My Big Blue Butt.

A lot of what I post here has to do with local politics, but you probably have the same folks in your local government.

This ain't a blog.  Blogs are way too trendy for me.  I've been doing this since 1992, so I'm used to it even if you ain't. 

Email me and I'll find a place to put it if I like it.