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May 30 - Texas
Republican Governor Rick Perry took another kick to the
shins this week following on the heels of his nominee
for the Texas Board of Pardons and Paroles
getting rejected on the basis of
being over the Texas UIL limits of shankiness.
Now his rightwing Talibaptist,
Don McLeroy, could not drum up the needed 2/3 votes
to lead the State Board of Education into the vast
Sillyland of the Uptight Far Right.
The Senate rejected
Republican Don McLeroy's nomination as chairman of
the State Board of Education on Thursday after
Democrats decried his lack of leadership and
"endless culture wars" over evolution and other
volatile topics.
And under the category of "Well, I Suspect So," comes
this quote from Republican Senator Steve Ogden.
Ogden decried much of
the criticism of McLeroy as a "slur."
"It is not fair to
say that if you don't believe Darwin's theory of
evolution or accept the argument that global warming
is occurring, that you should not be on the State
Board of Education," he said.
And he said that like it was a bad thing. Best I
know, he said it with a straight face. Amazing,
huh?
As far as I'm concerned, it should be taken a step
further and even more wild eyed radical - if you don't
believe in public education, you probably shouldn't be
on the State Board of Education. Yes, it's you I'm
talking to, Cynthia Dunbar of Richmond, Texas.
When you think public education is evil, you have no
place on the State Board of Education. You don't
see a bunch of Christian Scientists on the State Board
of Medical Examiners or a bunch of purposefully ugly
people on the State Board of Cosmetology.
For the crapteenth time, Steeple People, you cannot
practice your odd brand of voodoo on Texas
schoolchildren.
Thank you, Texas Democratic Senators, for giving Texas
schoolchildren the gift of science.
I am so glad McLeroy is out. Everything
that comes out of his mouth is a lie,
much like Governor Goodhair. They don't
seem to understand that evolution is a
theory which is supported by facts (so
many it would take about 15 years to
read it all if you never slept for that
time and read 24/7/365). Better yet they
don't understand survival of the
fittest. They are not the fittest, and
they won't survive for much longer!
Change is a comin, slowly but surely
(hmmm much like evolution?). Better yet
when the election comes, we'll see
Stephen Jay Gould's punctuated
equilibrium in action!
Despite repeated efforts
to obtain information about the nude man arrested as
he walked down a major Cinco Ranch thoroughfare last
Sunday, the Fort Bend County Sheriff’s Office has
not responded to inquiries from FortBendNow.
According to witness
accounts, officers subdued the unidentified man late
Sunday evening as he strolled down Cinco Ranch
Boulevard near Cinco Ranch Junior High School and
the trendy LaCenterra shopping center.
One
of the top Republicans in the Senate, John Cornyn,
is repudiating recent comments by Rush Limbaugh and
Newt Gingrich which claimed that Supreme Court
nominee Sonia Sotomayor is a racist.
"I think it's
terrible... This is not the kind of tone any of us
want to set when it comes to performing our
constitutional responsibilities of advise and
consent."
Cornyn dismissed
Limbaugh and Gingrich, adding: "Neither one of these
men are elected Republican officials. I just don't
think it's appropriate. I certainly don't endorse
it. I think it's wrong."
Hey, John can count votes, Babe. This is going to
such fun to watch. Can't you just see John calling
Rush after that interview and sobbing, "I am soooo
sorry, Rush, but those Hispanics in Texas can vote."
May 29 -
Look, I wasn't planning on liking Democratic County
Commissioner Richard Morrison all that much because I
flat don't like politicians, and county commissioners
especially.
But, day-um, Honey. New blood on commissioners
court is gonna save you a boatload of money and provide
the best entertainment in a three county area.
Richard Morrison is a helluva lot smarter than
Republican Greedmeister and State Rep Charlie Howard,
and Richard ain't scared of no Charlie voodoo either.
First Richard explains the problem:
Fort Bend County
Commissioners Court members could find themselves
bearing the uncomfortable responsibility for
appointing members of the county’s Appraisal Review
Board - a task they are loathe to accept.
But a provision
tacked onto Texas House Bill 1030, apparently at the
request of state Rep. Charile Howard (R-Sugar Land)
would give that job to County Judge Bob Hebert and
the four commissioners. The provision also would
apply to Harris County.
Precinct 1
Commissioner Richard Morrison said Howard is
undertaking “classic passing-the-buck.”
“Charlie doesn’t want
any responsibility for controlling property taxes,”
Morrison added. “They’re trying to put all the heat
on local government.”
And then, as a featured display at the Museum of Damn
Good Ideas, Richard adds --
“If that bill passes,
I’m going to appoint Charlie as my first appointment
to the board,” Morrison said, calling the amendment
“nothing more than a political game, and I can play
as well as he can.”
As the youngsters say, Pwned!
To be honest with you, if Richard had not been elected
to the court, this would have slid right by because the
other commissioners are shivering scardy cats when it
comes to standing up to Charlie.
And, to get downright upright about it, you'd think
that Charlie Howard could find something better to do in
Austin than making things worse for the taxpayers of
this county by playing cutsie little political games.
May 29 - Okay,
here's some more local stuff.
I made a $100 charity bet with a certain newspaper
person that Marilyn Glover wouldn't show up for school
board meetings half the time. And when she does
show up, she won't be prepared; preferring to use
faddish self-help phrases instead of doing her homework.
If I say it's Christmas, you better go buy some little
twinkling lights.
Sure 'nuff. She missed the very first meeting.
Marilyn will always have a very good reason for not
showing up. One year her mother died three times.
Wait until she starts giving parties to "honor"
herself. That was my favorite part.
I'm gonna enjoy watching this, Hon.
May 28 - And
another Attaboy to Commissioner Richard Morrison today
for
trying to buy local.
The $60 million Taj MaLaw over on the banks of
the Brazos, which got scheduled before Commissioner
Morrison was elected to the court, is beginning work.
Morrison is concerned that not many local
subcontractors have been hired. If we spend money
locally that money stays in the local economy. At
least that's what the Chamber of Commerce says.
So far, he [Morrison]
said, he has indications that five Fort Bend County
subcontractors have won bids to do about $1.8
million in work on the $58 million project.
“We still get just
2%, maybe. I’d like to see more,” Morrison said. “I
still think we should be able to get more Fort Bend
companies” involved in the work.
So, Richard earned his keep today. But he does not
need to get cocky because I'll kick him when he needs
it.
May 28 - Thank
goodness the Democrats put an environmental lawyer on
commissioners court instead
another
dude with a tax-free slush fund from developers. We finally got an ozone monitoring station in Fort
Bend County in January and our suspicions were true -
there's a reason you can see the air.
It'sfilthy.
Twice in the past week,
the Fort Bend County city has exceeded the federal
limit for ozone, a critical threshold under the
nation’s Clean Air Act.
And the forecast calls
for more heavy smog today.
“Ozone obviously isn’t
stopping at the Harris County line,” said Barry
Lefer, an assistant professor of atmospheric
sciences at the University of Houston.
It's particularly bad today.
I have full faith that Richard Morrison will be on this
like white on rice. It is such a relief to finally
have a guy on the court who can talk about something
other than concrete and kickbacks.
May 28 - Okay,
it's officially a contest for who is the craziest
Texas Congressman. Up until now Smokin' Joe Barton
pretty much held the lead with people wondering if space
aliens were eating his brain.
Then out of the blue, Texas Congressvarmint John
Culbertson of Houston started trying to explain his
libertarianism against his belief that we should check
every bed in America at night to make sure that no
same-gender people are in one together. About 45
seconds into his explanation, little spittle things
began to form at the edges of his mouth and the most
astounding words came tumbling out.
You can read the whole transcript here, but here's
the highlight ---
Well under the 10th
amendment, the states have a first responsibility
for providing for public safety, public health,
public morality. All issues that just affect the
people within that state. It’s up to the
states. And you either follow the constitution or
you don’t. [...]
Federal law
cannot permit — if one state, Vermont,
wants to do that, you can’t let that cross state
lines. You’ve got to let — frankly, a lot of these
issues have got to be left up to the states. But the
federal government cannot permit for example — The
federal government has a legitimate role in
interstate commerce. And that’s where the federal
government comes in. I think the federal
government can’t recognize — shouldn’t recognize it,
it’s just a bad idea. And uh — But
fundamentally, the right of privacy’s fundamental.
I’m not interested — what people do at home’s their
own business.
I am holding the 10th amendment in my hand right now and
nowhere, nada, no way does it say anything
whatsodamnever about the states regulating morality.
And thank God for that! Can you even imagine Rick
Perry regulating morality in Texas? And the Texas
Lege? Good Lord, whorehouses in Calcutta are more moral
than the Lege. That's a scientific fact.
By the way, I included the second paragraph because my
personal opinion is that he was drunk or that the
cabbage people took over his thinking mechanism.
Joe Barton - the ball is in your court.
John Culberson was featured in
Olbermann’s “WTF Moment” last night.
The congressman seemed to be engaging in
some sort of stream-of-consciousness
speaking. He did appear to be
conscious, though appearances can be
deceiving. But it was classic
Culberson, completely irrational. Best
thing I can say is that I don’t live in
his district, so he is not
representative of me.
The
powers not delegated to the United
States by the Constitution, nor
prohibited by it to the states, are
reserved to the states respectively, or
to the people.
Don A
May 27 -
Whoa. Pull in on them reins, Pat.
Pat Buchanan said that Sonia Sotomayor isn't very
intelligent.
Pat, Dude, you represent the political party of every redneck
tobacco chewing Cletus in the entire South. Don't
you be talking no smack about intelligence, ya hear?
The woman went to Princeton. Don't you know what
Summa Cum Laude means? Do you think Phi Beta Kappa
is a social sorority?
Cripes, Pat, Sonia Sotomayor ain't no Harriett Meyers,
but ... not intelligent?
Well, at least you remembered her name, which is more
than that other intellectual heavyweight Mike Huckabee
did. Maria?
May 27 -
This is of local interest:
You all know Burt Levine, the full-time political slut.
Candidates give him money just to keep him from tearing
down their signs. Hell, I've even seen him take
money from one candidate while working for the opponent.
Well, Burt's done it again. And he couldn't have
done it to a more deserving person.
Burt sent out a mass email congratulating Marilyn Glover
for her election to the school board. Marilyn is
an African-American Republican. Burt's a slut.
I read the first paragraph and then couldn't hit delete
fast enough.
However, one of my friends, who is the kind of person
who can't resist looking at a car wreck, read
the
whole thing. And, bless their hearts, sent it to
me with instructions on how to read it properly.
When you scroll way down in the email, goofy Burt left
the remnants of an email conversation he had with
Marilyn. There are differing opinions on whether
Burt did this on purpose or not. He's goofy enough
to do it by accident, but he's ego-bound enough to do it
on purpose.
Marilyn is already semi-famous for using faddish words
and phrases she doesn't understand, but now she's hit
the What The Hell Does She Mean? jackpot.
You know the drill. Hit the little one to get the
big one.
That's something I don't want to even think about, much
less know about.
Burt's still a slut.
May 27 - Okay, so
this has nothing to do with politics, but it's
important. Pavlock Farms is harvesting
corn this week. Bubba and I bought some and,
Honey, it is slap yo momma
good.
You do not even need butter on it. Seriously.
I do not joke about corn. Or butter, for that
matter.
Locals can head on over to Pavlock's off of Hwy 36
North on
210 Huntington. You'll see a sign on 36 about
a mile past going under the railroad bridge.
I can also speak highly of the homegrown squash and the
fresh black eyed peas. I cooked up the black eyes
with a big sweet onion and some sausage last night.
Oh boy, that was tongue dancing food.
Pavlock's is open every day except Sunday from 9 to 6.
They close a couple hours early on Saturday so they can
eat the leftovers.
Tell them I sent you and they won't charge you a penny
extra. However, that deal is only good for this
week.
May 26 - Okay, you
guys remember Shandra Perkins, the woman who got
semi-famous for trying to ban sex toy parties in her
hometown who then went on to glory by having Rick Perry
nominate her to the Board of Pardons and Paroles because
Rick Perry does not abide sex toys and God knows that's
surely a qualification for the Board of Pardons and
Paroles.
Well, Shandra got the boot, of course, by a vote of 27 -
4 but the upside for Republicans is that they got to
talk dirty for a while. They love to talk dirty.
And sex toys is one of their favorite dirty talk.
Bless her heart for providing that opportunity.
So anyway they found this picture of Shandra standing
in front of law books and used it to try to convince the
Texas Senate that she can read and all so she's got to
be qualified for a state board.
Come to find out, she was simply delivering Hunger
Busters from her job over at the Dairy Queen.
Bless her heart. For a minute there I thought
maybe that was Katherine Harris behind all that Mary
Kay.
I
thought that picture of Shandra
Perkins was the "crackho" mentioned
on the previous entry! ROFLMAO
She looks like she just got off
work from the strip club.
Sarah Smith
The taller the hair, the closer to
God, right?
Hey Zeus
I could have
gone my entire life without seeing
that picture. Reminds me of The
Munsters.
Maybe
someday a cultural anthropologist
might do a study of Republicans and
hair. Could it be as easy to explain
as them not having mirrors in their
homes?
Dennis
May 26 - I hope
that Judge Sonia Sotomayor doesn't have as many problems
getting confirmed as Obama's other nominee.
Thanks to Carmen for the timely heads-up.
May 25 - Well my
goodness, while I've been off celebrating the beginning
of summer, something very nice happened here that caused
my hit counter to go through the roof ---
Got to your site thru
Crooks & Liars. You're right about Republicans
being meaner than 10 acres of snakes. (Tho' I don't
really think snakes are so bad.)
I just like to say that Republican are one of three
things...They're either Mean, or Stupid,
or Mean and Stupid. Joe Barton falls into
the last category.
Cheers,
Chriss
Thanks to my buddy Barbara in Dee Cee for giving me a
heads-up through the mobile magic of Facebook.
And thanks to the good folks at Crooks and Liars for
letting everyone know that my little corner of Texas is
full of those suckers!
May 25 - Here's
the deal. A woman in Houston who runs the website
crackho.com (yeah, I know, it's a shame I didn't get
that URL first so I could link it to the Mike Elliott
for DA website)
used a seal of the State of Alaska on her website.
She immediately got a
cease and desist letter on official stationary from
Governor Sarah Palin's lawyers because it appears that
it's against Alaska law to use the seal of the State of
Alaska without permission. Who knew? Not me,
that's for sure.
The letter says, "It has come to our attention that the
website www.crackho.com has hijacked a State of Alaska
webpage." Well hell, when you put it that way....
I mean, hijacking on the Internet machine is something I
hadn't even considered.
The letter states, "Alaska law prohibits the use of the
official seal of the State of Alaska without permission.
Violation of this law is a misdemeanor punishable by a
fine of up to $500 or six months imprisonment."
Dude, I need one of those letters. Real bad.
I've got myself a frame ready, empty space on the wall
and everything.
How cool is it to be in violation of Alaskan law?
Pretty damn cool. And to have KissMyBigBlueButt
written on Sarah Palin letterhead? Honey, that would
bring several thousand dollars in an auction to benefit
Democrats, just on the irony factor alone.
So, here ya go, Alaska writ twits. Come on, make
my day!
"Alaska law prohibits the use of the
official seal of the State of Alaska
without permission. Violation of this
law is a misdemeanor punishable by a
fine of up to $500 or six months
imprisonment."
Honey, ain’t you in Texas? Sarah gonna
send a Mountie all the way down here to
arrest you?
Dennis
Note from Susan: Damn. I
hope so. I've been needing myself
a Mountie.
AUSTIN,
Texas – While
Gov. Rick Perry is criticizing Washington
bailouts,
state lawmakers are planning to use $11
million in federal stimulus money to help rebuild
the badly burned
Texas Governor's Mansion.
Approximately $10
million in
state
tax money will also be spent on a renovation,
which is expected to cost about $20 million,
officials said Thursday. A House-Senate committee
agreed on the expenditures late Wednesday night.
The mansion was
burned in an arson fire last summer.
Perry has railed
against federal bailouts and what he called the
free-spending, power-hungry ways of Washington. In
January, he said
Texas
was endangered by Uncle Sam's "audacity."
But what you don't know is that Rick is going to allow
all out-of-work Texans to live in the mansion with him.
All you gotta do is show up with your bird dog and your
daughter's out of work tattooed boyfriend and Rick will
let you move right in. It helps get you a better
room if you bring your Bible and your "I Hate Homos"
poster.
At first I thought Rick should raise the money for
renovations through private donations. However,
Thelma pointed out that having his lobbyist buddies pay
for the renovations would cost us far more in the long
run. She's probably right.
Meanwhile, prepare to move into the Governor's mansion.
In fact, I think I'm gonna send him a letter about his
free-spending power hungry ways of building me a
vacation house right next to the capitol.
Hi, Susan,
This is the funding by friends plan
perfected. In order to be ever again
invited into the governor's (publicly
funded) mansion, members of the TX lege just
have to offer up their constituency's empty
pockets to the Cause. The policy
originated with w and depends ultimately on
the wives to insist they have Got to be seen
in that greeting line at the mansion.
Since it's a public place, I guess they
allow weapons, too.
from Ruth
I think a
burned out Governor's Mansion is a pretty
good representation of Republican control of
this state. Has anyone checked with the
next occupant, Kay Bailey Hutchison, as to
her color scheme?
Convicted lobbyist Jack
Abramoff should not be allowed to use his tax refund
of more than $500,000 to pay back his lawyers,
accountants and others because he has yet to make
restitution for the millions of dollars he defrauded
from Indian tribes he represented, the Justice
Department says.
Abramoff admitted that
he and Scanlon, a onetime press aide to former House
Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Tex.), ran a kickback
scheme that defrauded the tribes. Abramoff told
tribes to hire Scanlon's public relations firm at
inflated prices and the two split the profits.
So we're
still wondering if Tom DeLay gets to keep his tax
return.
But the big fun here is the last paragraph..
'More than a dozen people, including an Ohio
congressman and a deputy secretary of the
interior, have been convicted in the
wide-ranging federal investigation into the
lobbying scandal, and Justice Department
officials said the probe is continuing.
Still under scrutiny are DeLay (R-Tex.) and
former Rep. John T. Doolittle (R-Calif.)."
I wonder what they'll have to say over at
Fox News when one of their favorite talking
heads is finally led away in shackles.
Regards,
Charly Hoarse
May 22 - So, I'm
usually the last person to find cool things on the
Internets, but a friend told me about
this site and
it's pretty darned cool if you just need information
quick.
It leans heavily toward the scientific as opposed to
literary. I asked it to figure my Body Mass Index
and it gave me more information than I wanted. I
entered "Sonnet 18, Shakespeare" and it had no idea what
I was talking about.
It's just a another time wasting fun toy brought to you
by someone who thinks you don't waste near enough time.
May 21 - Poor
Ole John Cornyn. Now he's got the
conservatives on his back. (Warning, the link
will take you to site where cooties are present.)
The neo-nuts are upset that Cornyn endorsed Charlie
Crist in Florida ---
Yet, in Florida,
John Cornyn has endorsed a man who supports
Obama’s spending and borrowing. How the
hell does he expect to make the case to voters who
have “anxiety about spending and borrowing” that
they can trust Charlie Crist on that issue?
Senator, you should
flush the endorsement and your manure filled
statements along with it.
Apparently, the neo-nuts like their Senators to be
consistently crazzzy.
Thanks to Dale for the heads-up. It takes a very
courageous man to look at rightwing sites.
May 20 - Y'all, Texas' own Smokey Joe Barton, Congresscritter
from Dallas, has moved from damn weird into
delightfully entertaining. I think maybe that
Jesus Cheeto was meant for him. This morning on C-Span, Smokey Joe was discussing the
American Clean Energy Act ---
– “I would also
point out that CO2, carbon dioxide, is not a
pollutant in any normal definition of the term. … I
am creating it as I talk to you. It’s in
your Coca-Cola, your Dr. Pepper, your Perrier water.
It is necessary for human life. It is odorless,
colorless, tasteless, does not cause cancer, does
not cause asthma.”
– “And something
that the Democrat sponsors do not point out, a lot
of the CO2 that is created in the United States is
naturally created. You can’t regulate
God. Not even the Democratic majority in
the US Congress can regulate God.”
You really have to see it. It's especially cool to
see him discuss how teenagers need big ole hunker cars
because "we move around."
Y'all, we need to get Smokey Joe is own teevee show.
He could do more to help Democrats than Rush Limbaugh
ever dreamed of doing.
You might be delighted to know that last
night Rep. Joe Barton was Olbermann's Worst
Person in the World, behind Sean Hannity,!
Sybil
Hi Susan!
2 comments about Smokey Joe
1. Do you not have an IQ test your state can
give anybody wanting to go into government?
You seem to have your share of, how to say
this nicely, dolts,
representing your state.
2. Ask Smokey Joe if he would be willing to
go into a sealed room with only his
"natural" CO2 available to him.
This would solve 2 problems; Smokey Joe
would no longer represent you and it would
prove that although CO2 does occur
naturally and he may just want to regulate
it. Or his estate, since he would be DEAD.
Honestly, does he not think before he opens
his mouth?
Diane
Wrong gas
---
You and I
emit CO2 when we exhale; Joe and his group
breathe out something more on the order of
Methane.
Sam
May 20 - Okay,
I've made the trip between Houston and
Dallas
hundreds of times in my life, and Cheetos are my
imitation cheese flavored cardboard crunch of choice, so
how come
this has never happened to me?
A Preston Hollow couple
driving home from Houston was snacking on a bag of
Cheetos when Sara Bell had a religious experience.
"Jesus appeared," she
told the Preston Hollow People newspaper last
week.
Or more exactly – a
Cheeto in the shape of what appears to be a two-inch
tall figurine with extended arms.
Bell had bought a bag
of Cheetos in Jersey Village, about 20 miles
northwest of Houston, and was eating the
cheese-flavored snack when she made the discovery,
the newspaper reported.
It's double odd because Sara Bell is a retired Methodist
school teacher. Things like this rarely happen to
a retired Methodist school teacher. Things like
this happen to a retired Baptist beautician.
According to my rightwing fundamentalist friends, this
is the first time a Methodist ever saw Jesus at all.
They say it has something to do with
solar cycles or Michelle Obama's arms. They
are not sure which.
If you limit yourself to Cheetos,
you'll miss out on sooooo many
opportunities...
There's the Virgin Mary Grilled
Cheese Sandwich that sold on
eBay for $28,000.
The donut in the shape of
Texas(????) that fetched $5100.
At least that went to a
hurricane relief fund.
A
piece of toast that has a
miracle image of Kay Bailey
Hutchison's Official Campaign
photo on it.
A
chicken breast with the profile
of Pope John Paul II. It's
uncanny.
And finally, an Animal Cracker
love story that is simply
priceless.
USExpat
Dear
Susan,
The Jesus Cheeto story you mentioned on May
20 intrigues me, as these things always do,
because it makes me wonder: how do these
folks know it's Jesus? I mean, it's not like
there are any photographs of Jesus floating
around, nor even any contemporary images.
Nobody knows what Jesus looked like. That
Cheeto might be the spitting image of his
next-door-neighbor or the guy who ran the
Galilee Falafels-R-Us store.
Something to ponder.
Regards,
Deb
West Yorkshire, UK
May 19 - The Texas
Senate has just given preliminary
approval
to a bill allowing college students to carry concealed
handguns on campus. The vote was 10 - 20.
Yes, that solves a major problem in Texas: not
enough gun play on college campuses.
Sen. Jeff Wentworth,
R-San Antonio, said he introduced the bill because
of the 2007 massacre at Virginia Tech, where he said
victims were "picked off like sitting ducks."
"I would feel
personally guilty if I woke up one morning and read
that something similar had occurred on a Texas
campus," he said.
Yo, Jeff. Listen up. How guilty are you
going to feel when the cops show up and can't tell the
good guys from the bad guys and neither can the extra
gun toters who will come running at the sound of
gunshots because they are so damn anxious to use up
their ammo?
Democratic State Senator Rodney Ellis has this to say
---
"As
it is today, campus law enforcement knows that
if they see someone on campus with a gun, that
person is violating the law and needs to be
treated as a suspect. Under SB 1164, we are
going to make if much more difficult for law
enforcement to know who the bad actors are.
"Senate Bill
1164 is a bad solution to a serious problem. It
makes us feel like we've gotten tough --
deputizing students -- but the fact is that the
universities don't want it and law enforcement
doesn't want it because they know it will not
make our campuses safer."
Nobody wants this but grandstanding Republicans.
As a
soon-to-be law student, I’d like to
announce that if this bill is passed,
not only will I carry a gun to class,
but I will take it out of its holster,
place it prominently on the table in
front of me, and idly caress it anytime
my professor asks a question I can’t
answer. Furthermore, I will occasionally
make casual references to it by the name
“Archimedes,” and mutter to myself about
a snail sliding along the edge of a
straight razor.
Elizabeth
May 19 - The
President of Rush Limbaugh's Fan Club, GOP Chair Michael
Steele, has got his thinker mechanism in a knot this
morning.
He's saying that the Democrats are pushing America
"to the left farther and faster than I think anyone
could have imagined."
I wish.
Of course, Steele doesn't truly believe
that
either but that's the argument he uses to justify that
the GOP must be given some power to keep America from
falling off the left edge.
Yo. Cowboy. Pull in on them reins and take
notice that in the last eight years we've been a
locomotive on a greased track headed downhill with a
Saturn Five rocket on our butts pulled by a bullet with
legs. Honey, we went downhill so fast that it's
gonna take us a year to pull to a halt.
Now, I searched the Internets, and all during this time
I cannot find one statement from Michael Steele saying,
"Let's let the Democrats have some power."
I wonder why that is?
I suspect it's because that Mr. Steele keeps most of
his religion in his wife's name and all his cajones in
Rush Limbaugh's pocket.
Susan,
I'm still
pondering Mr. Steele's comments on Meet
the Press last Sunday -
Torture may
have been wrong before our guys said it
was ok to use it, and it may be wrong
now, but it was NOT wrong when we used
it during Bush's tenure. Imagine
that!!! What a putz.
Stephanie
up in
Arlington
May 18 -
For you folks from foreign states, here's
DA John Healey and Former ADA Mike Elliott going
after each other on teevee. Enjoy!
Yeah, they're both tad sissy.
And, for the record, the reason that Healey doesn't try
cases in court is because he's even a worse lawyer than
Elliott.
Dear Susan,
Thank you for the link to the clip about
Mr. Elliott. Just hearing Dominque Sachse
again was worth it but hearing her say
"...but others say prosecutor Mike Elliott
had a history of poor performance during his
seventeen years on the job.", well that just
cracked me up. It took seventeen years to
discover his poor performance?
The whole thing reminds me of our own
District Attorney who can't seem to win a
case on his own and seems to lose a bunch
that shouldn't have been brought in the
first place. Like the one against the
students who participated in the annual
"streak" up at the Pennsyltucky Snake
Yewniversity. He lost that one when a
clever defense attorney (former prosecutor
from a neighboring county) pointed out that
in order to sustain a charge of public
lewdidty, someone has to be upset by the
action and since everyone was cheering, no
one could have been upset. He too had to
fire one of the prosecutors -- the one who
specialized in abuse cases was sending
steamy text messages to witnesses.
Rick
Perry is the longest-serving governor in Texas
history, making him one of the most influential
people in a state primarily known for its barbecue,
belt buckles, longhorn hood ornaments, and lethal
injections of the mentally handicapped. As such,
Perry has appointed nearly every state officer,
board, or commission member a governor can appoint
someone to, including five of the nine state supreme
court justices. He also does most of the
choreography for the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders.
Leathery and
blow-dried, Perry easily lays claim to the title of
“Most Bouffant U.S. Governor,” especially now that
Rod Blagojevich has officially been barred from
holding the office ever again.
So, he's no longer known as Rickalicious, huh?
May 18 - Bubba,
Jr. and Mrs. Jr. are here visiting for a few more days
so you get nothing from me of importance today because
I'm out doing fun things while you're stuck at the
office.
There's a press conference this afternoon about the
Mike Elliott firing. I'll bring you more
information about that, but meanwhile I just gotta tell
you that having your DA tape a pink slip to the
underside of a glass tabletop, and then have the guy
he's firing move books to see it, is about the damn
weirdest thing I've ever heard of and it's all everybody
is talking about. Nobody is talking about the
firing because that was loooong overdue, but everybody
is talking about the glass top table.
I still go with the porno flick explanation, but
someone else said it was DA John Healey's attempt at
being funny. As I have explained before, Healey
has absolutely no sense of humor. He had a
humorectomy years ago and hasn't been able to get
reconstructive surgery under his health plan, which is
tragic because even when you tell him that something is
funny, he still doesn't laugh.
All in all, I, for one, really look forward to the
Healey / Elliott fight. I know both these boys,
and it's gonna be a hair-pulling, fingernail scratching,
purse slapping event. We really need to bring in
RuPaul to judge this thing. That failing, I guess
I have to be the one.
I'm gonna be rating their verbal assaults against each
other with tubes of lipstick raging from 1 tube for "Oh
sister, that was lame," to 5 tubes for "Girlfriend, get
back!"
I'm looking forward to this. Yes, I am.
And because I'm leaving you to your own devices today,
here's a little grinner ---
May 15 - It's true. DA John Healey finally
fired ADA Mike Elliott today at 5:00 and had him
escorted from the building by bailiffs.
UPDATED: Here is John Healy
leaving the courthouse tonight at
7:00.
He confirmed that he did, in fact, fire Mike Elliott
today. I asked why Elliott was fired and Healy
replied, "Not for anything he did today." Healey
says he will have more to say on Monday morning but was
going home now for dinner and ball game.
With all the
crazy things Mike Elliott has
done in the past and
not gotten fired, everybody was wondering what the
fool tarnation he did that finally, finally warranted
firing. I mean, think about it. This has to
be something outstandingly evil or frighteningly gross.
In absence of any real information about this long
overdue event, the best we can offer you is the Top Ten
Unsubstantiated Rumors of Why ADA Mike Elliott was
fired:
TOP TEN UNSUBSTANTIATED
RUMORS OF
WHY MIKE ELLIOTT WAS FIRED
1. Apparently he was overheard saying that Rush
Limbaugh is not The Anointed One. Word came
directly from Michael Steele to fire his butt.
2. Turns out he was the one stealing
Annie Elliott's political signs.
3. Discovered that prosecutorial immunity does not
protect you from swine flu.
4. Mike Elliott learned the hard way that you
really should clear your internet browser before you
leave for lunch.
5. Just sayin'. Mayor Jamie Roberts.
Voodoo doll. You do the math.
6. Elliott's behavior became such a political and
civil liability that even someone with Healey's very
limited political instincts had to get rid of him.
7. The Texas Bar Association Disciplinary Division
named a whole new section after him: Mike's Hike.
8. Police reports indicate he forcefully enter the Las
Vegas hotel room of two reputable sports memorabilia
dealers, assaulted them, and demanded the return of his
Heisman trophy.
9. I'm not sure of the specifics, but his dismissal
order mentions something about "inappropriate
foot-tapping and hand signals in Healey's private
restroom."
10. The political climate has grown unfavorable due to
the infamous "Indictment to Nowhere."
Bob Dunn has the whole bizarre story! This
promises to be the best feud in Fort Bend history since
the Jaybird Woodpecker Wars. Except this one has
the added funfest element of two severely weird guys and
an upcoming election. KMBBB will be your premier
source for all things odd and amazing in this continuing
saga of Mike and John's Crazy Summer Vacation!
(He taped his pink slip to the underside of a glass
tabletop? I think I saw that in a porno flick
once.)
Susan, you
made a very happy weekend for the entire
justice community in Fort Bend County.
You're the only "news source" confirming it
and you even have pictures! It's good
to have Juanita back!
Is he
going to apply for work at All States
Roofing or Fulshear City Hall?
Lovingly,
Legal Tender
You know
more than you're telling, don't you?
HT
Dear HT
- I'm not telling. Susan
So you're
saying that the Democrats will win the DA's
race in two years through no fault of their
own?
Carl
Susan,
As the
Fort Bend Republicans form a circular
firing squad, I think that it's time for
us Democrats to step up to the plate and
support them. We need to invite them to
Wal Mart after church tomorrow and buy
them some live ammo since they've been
firing blanks for years.
The number of Travis
Elementary School students diagnosed with swine flu
has jumped to 12, likely the largest cluster of the
new influenza virus in Texas, health officials said
today. The school will be closed until May 26, HISD
officials said.
Nearly 400 of the
Heights-area school's 712 students stayed home sick
today, and a steady stream of parents were removing
their children from school throughout the day.
This is in Houston. It's hot and sultry today so I
wasn't planning on breathing anyway.
May 15 - I think
James Dobson just enjoys talking dirty. Don't
listen to this Momma, because Dr. Dobson lingers just a
tad too long on some of these words, rolling them around
in his mouth and enjoying them before he moves on to
another one with the alacrity and joy of a little girl
picking posies. Dr. Dobson,
who is apparently an expert on these things, says there's 30 forms of sexual
deviancy. Thirty. Cripes, I only know two or
three - you know, the fun ones.
The dirtiest talk I have ever heard in my life comes
from the religious right. We've got this woman
here in Fort Bend named Terese Raia who was one of the
founders of the Belles of Heaven Republican Women's
Club. Terese is just not happy unless she's
discussing in graphic details what homosexual do alone
in a bedroom not bothering anybody else except Terese
who can't quit thinking about it.
A word to Dr. Dobson: Hon, there are now
officially 31 sexual deviancies. They named the
new one for you. Dobsonaphilia is fretting way to
much about what other people do in private.
Susan-
1) Note
to Dr. Dobson: you are incorrect, there are
32. My wife and I are quite sure about this,
having conducted extensive research over the
last couple of years (not to mention buying
a pastry or two at Nookie's).
2) Note
to Wanda Sykes: you rock big-time..
3) Note to
Michael Steele: you're Urkel from Family
Matters, aren't you? No? Get that resume
updated anyway, buddy.
3) Note to
Miss California: bimbos shouldn't
pontificate about anything, unless it's a
great place to get a pedicure.
Note To
Rush The Entertainer: last month I compared
you to the airship belonging a world-famous
tire company... silly me. The airship
belonging to the world-famous tire company
is an elliptical semi-rigid object filled
with an inert gas; you are an elliptical
semi-rigid object, too, but that gas inside
you is definitely not inert.
Kellybee
Sounds like Dobson has been
having sleepovers with Ted
Haggard.
Sam
Dear
Susan,
I get these guys mixed up! Wasn't it Dobson
whose mama spanked him with her girdle? Is
that included in the 31 kinds? Maybe it
could lead to one of the 31 kinds!
Sybil
May 15 - Maybe
it's just me, but I have had it up to here with Dick
Cheney. I've only got about one nerve left after
the Bush administration, and Dick Cheney is getting all
over it.
My friend Brian wonders ---
Susan,
Seeing Dick Cheney
talk more in public the last two weeks than he
did the previous 8 years is so good it almost
makes me want to get a TV. How long do you think
it will be until he has a Col.
Jessup moment?
May 13 -
Y'all, there's something real wrong with Texas Governor
Rick Perry. I just don't think he's coming up for
air often enough or something.
His
latest nominee to the State Board of Pardons and Paroles
has no college and no experience, but she did sleep in a
Holiday Inn last night. And, she has had family
members in prison.
However, her greatest qualification for the $95,000 a
year job seems to be ---
Perkins was also notable
for her role in stopping the sale of sex toys in
Burleson in 2004. An arrest in that case eventually
led a federal appeals court to overturn Texas' law
banning the sale of sex toys.
So, she was on the losing end of the Texas sex toys
case. Well hell's bells, that alone should get her
an Evening With Rick! I'm just saying.
Burleson is a small town south of Dallas / Fort Worth
with 30,000 very frustrated souls and one very mean old
woman who isn't going to get on the Board of Pardons and
Parole.
"This person is
unqualified," said Sen. John Whitmire, D-Houston,
who led the charge against Perkins' confirmation.
"This is not a partisan issue. This is not a
personal issue."
Bill Clinton jokingly
laughed off a question Wednesday about former Vice
President Dick Cheney and his recent claims that the
country is less safe under the Obama administration.
"I wish him well,"
Clinton told CNN while greeting voters after a
campaign stop with Virginia gubernatorial candidate
Terry McAuliffe. "It's over," he added, apparently a
reference to the Bush administration.
"But I do hope he
gets some more target practice before he goes out
again," Clinton said with a grin before moving along
the ropeline.
And watch Bill smile when he says it. Also, Donna
Brazille, who is the second smartest woman in
television, couldn't keep a straight face either.
May 13 - My friend
Christi Dunn writes a great blog called
Motherguilt.
Bless her heart, Christi still has little squirmy ones
at home. I don't, and I could not possibly be more
proud of that.
I haven't been able to offer much comfort to Christi,
except that at some point I made a decision about this
guilt thing: I decided to be a distributor instead
of a carrier.
Christi's blog is one you might want to keep up with so
I put a link over on the left. Today's entry is
fun - she writes about
riding the bus. Christi is a secure woman -
she even encourages backsass.
Someone took a $100 purse from a 2005 Mazda car in
the 900 block of 11th Street at 10 a.m. Sunday,
Freeport police said.
There were 12 hydrocodone capsules inside the purse
that also were taken, police said.
There were no signs of forced entry, and the car was
left unlocked, police said.
Officers have no suspects, police said.
Brazoria County - just up the road from me. Honey,
if you have $100 and a dozen hydrocodone pills, you're
the most popular girl in Brazoria County. Hell,
they'll let you be mayor!
May 12 -
Well, rats! And it was working so well for the
Palin Family. Oh, wait. Never mind.
President
Obama's new budget would eliminate most
money for abstinence-only sex education and
shift it to teen pregnancy prevention — a U-turn
in what has been more than a decade of sex
education policy in the USA.
The proposed budget, sent to Congress last Thursday,
"reflects the research," says Melody Barnes,
director of the team that coordinates
White House domestic policy.
Reflects the research? What the hell kind of talk
is that? Up until now, we did faith based
education in this country. We didn't care what the
research said, we just believed
things weren't happening.
Oh Lord, when the Steeple People hear this they're
gonna get so mad that they'll go out and buy more guns.
Susan,
I sent two children through the Abstinence
Only Sex Education programs in Texas public
schools and it is my belief that this
program is directly responsible for the
increase in teen pregnancies.
I reviewed the materials my children were
taught on the subject. The texts used very
clearly stated in bold that condoms do not
work to prevent pregnancy and STD's while
footnoting the failure rates of condoms in
very fine print at the bottom of the page.
Common sense would tell anyone with half a
brain what two teenagers who decide to have
sex will do who have gone through this
education program. Why would they
decide to use a condom if it does not work?
It is my belief that the people who promote
this program do not genuinely have the goal
of reducing pregnancy or STD's. The actual
motivation for this type of sex ed is the
belief that teens who violate abstinence
should be punished for their "sin."
Barbara S
May 12 - Y'all,
he's two delusions beyond the limits of insanity.
He's walking the street wearing nothing but a coonskin
cap, talking to birds, and carrying a grudge the size of
Vermont.
He's Pete Sessions.
WASHINGTON – U.S.
Rep. Pete Sessions of Dallas, a member of the House
Republican leadership, is accusing President Barack
Obama of intentionally driving up unemployment and
dampening stock prices in a bid to consolidate
power.
Sessions told The
New York Times that the administration intends
to “diminish employment and diminish stock prices”
as part of a “divide and conquer” strategy.
And he asserted that
the Obama agenda is “intended to inflict damage and
hardship on the free enterprise system, if not to
kill it.”
Look, Pete, if Obama really wanted to kill the economy,
he'd use all those leftover Janet Reno black helicopters
piloted by members of the Illuminati.
I'll tell you a conspiracy theory, Pete: You know
how you guys were going to hold government under water
until it drowned? Well, you were partially
successful - only you got confused and did it to the
Republican Party.
For that, I am thankful.
Meanwhile, Pete, check your meds, Babe, you're a
milligram of Thorazine off center.
Several years ago, I read
somewhere that the theory was
that the level of violent crime
in El Paso was so low because of
the naturally-occuring lithium
in the local water. Uh-huh.
Has the water in Pete Sessions
part of Texas been evaluated
lately?
As a loyal Democrat, I am just
sittin' back an enjoying the
spectacle that is Dick Cheney,
Michael Steele, Newt Gringrich,
Mike Huckabee, etc., etc. I'm
waiting for just one of 'em to
say something that might make a
disinterested voter say, "That
makes sense!"
Really, you can’t make
this stuff up. You have to read it in full to
believe it. Even then you can’t believe it. You
thought that “nullification” had been rendered
inoperative by the Civil War? Well, think again. You
considered secession a pre-Appomattox kind of thing?
Well, reconsider. You assumed that John C. Calhoun
was a dead parrot? Well, turns out he was only
resting.
The resolution is written in a mock
eighteenth-century style, ornate and pompous. Just
two of its twenty sentences account for more than
1,200 of its 2,200 words. But the substance is even
nuttier than the style.
They want another civil war. And, I suspect this
one will be no more civil than the last one was.
Getting blacks out of slavery was bad enough, but
putting one in the White House? ... well nosireee, we're
taking our trucks and going home. Hell, we already
got us some flags.
But, Texas is holding on fast to being Championship
Crazzzy. Why, we even
charge our rape victims for their rape kits because,
surely, she did something wrong.
CNN reports that Texas
hospitals are charging women who have been raped
thousands of dollars for their rape kits that are
collected by police as part of their investigations.
According to CNN, Texas’s crime victim compensation
fund consistently has a surplus and could likely
cover these expenses.
So, the way I see it, as of this morning, it's
neck-and-neck between Texas and Georgia. Red neck,
that is.
Susan, Great
Dittoheads think alike!! Alaskan rape
victims also get charged for rape kits. The
Palinator and Gov. Good Hair are kindred
spirits, it seems. Who knew??
"Sessions told the Times
that Obama's plan is to
"diminish employment and
diminish stock prices." By
doing so, Obama "intended to
inflict damage and hardship
on the free enterprise
system, if not to kill it"
as part of a "divide and
conquer" strategy to
consolidate power."
Go Pete Go! No, seriously. Go
Pete.
USexpat
Maybe we
could hold a formal contest between Georgia
and Texas. It would be a lose/lose
situation.
May 8 - #1 way to
insure that I most certainly will go on your property
(or at least get close enough for a picture) ---
An reporter buddy and I were noseying around yesterday
and came across this sign. Thank God for camera
phones.
We decided, after having earlier driven right past a
sign that says "Trespassers will be prosecuted," that
the really cool thing about having a press pass is that
you can go anywhere that nobody else wants to go - you
can get right in the middle of fires, car wrecks, or
fresh crime scenes.
And, here's a thought for the weekend: if you do the
crime, be sure to check your butt for incriminating
evidence first ---
ID BY PANTS - Missouri City
Police released a photo zooming in on the unique cloth
pattern on the back of a bank robber's pants. The man,
who robbed a Compass Bank branch on April 14, tased a
bank employee during the crime. Police are seeking the
public's help in identifying him (click photo for
related story).
May 7 - Mary
from New Hampshire just sent me a clip she found to be
funny in an ironic kind of way.
It appears that the prissy Mr. Sean Hannity finds it oh
so haughty that
Barack Obama asked for mustard on his hamburger.
Dijon mustard.
It appears that Mr. Hannity thinks Dijon mustard is
some kind of fancy-pants condiment found only in French
refrigerators.
Not so.
Here is a rare glimpse into my refrigerator.
There's some of that there fancy Dijon Mustard,
exclusive HEB house brand as a matter of fact, sitting
right next to my box Sangria from Target and in front of
my high falutin' DelValle Nectar de Pina, which I buy by
the case when Fiesta puts them on sale for 3 for a buck.
Yep, I'm one of them librul snobs who eat mustard.
I confess. I do not eat ketchup on hamburgers.
I love ketchup. I think French fries are merely a
delivery system for ketchup. I can eat ketchup out
of the bottle. I love the stuff. But I do
not put ketchup on hamburgers. Hot dogs, yes.
But mayo and mustard on hamburgers.
What's wrong with these conservatives? Eating
ketchup on hamburgers. Weird.
Mr. Hannity
seems not to know that Grey Poupon Dijon
mustard, that of the snooty commercials, is
a product of Kraft Foods.
Susan. Those sanctimonious
conservatives should try something
entirely unique – for them. Open a
dictionary and look up the word liberal.
It’s under the L’s. You can enjoy the
shock on their unpleasant faces when
they discover that most of them really
are, or wished they were, liberals.
Bud
Susan Honey, if this is the best Sean
can get on our President, then I am a
very happy man. Obama drives them
nuts, doesn't he?
John P
That mustard thing officially
sent me off the deep end.
Especially the Laura Ingraham clip.
What is WRAWNG with those people and
why don't they eat mustard on their
hamburgers???
2. There is little
doubt that this
snooty food
website convulsively
establishes Dallas
Texas as a dump
truck for snooty
food.
3. Dallas is the
home of Southern
Non-Bapdist
University, the
adoptive home of
George the W, the
Forty-Sump'n Former
President of the
United States.
4. Snooty Food =
Dallas = SN-BU = W.
Ergo Non-Sequester
Ipso Factoid
Peninsular, the fact
of the matter is
that Shill
O'Rantitty has a
man-crush on George
the W. It's a well
known fact that Sean
wants to slather W
with
We-Want-The-Terrorists-To-Win-Dijon condiments.
May 7 - You know
the really crazy guy down in Brazoria County who writes
for the
Alvin Sun? Well, he just said that I am more
dangerous that an Islamic terrorist.
I repeat: I consider
today's Liberalism to be as great an enemy of our
traditional American way of Life as Islamic
terrorism.
Okay, so he didn't say me exactly, but I'm taking it
real personal. And you should, too.
Look, I've heard that I'm dangerous with a golf club,
and I've been known to hurt people with my cooking, and
if you get between me and a purse sale, you're taking
your life into your own hands, but Islamic terrorist?
Honey, that's a new honor I haven't put on my fireplace
mantle yet.
I put the following comment on their website.
They haven't posted it yet but maybe they will ---
I am a liberal. I am
highly concerned about you saying that I am as
dangerous as an Islamic terrorist. I'd like to have
a piece of paper or a medal to prove that so I can
tape it to my front door to keep the door-to-door
salesmen and the rare conservative away. Are you
supplying those or do I have to get them through
Newt Gingrich?
If any of you talented folks out there can draw up a
certificate from Mr. W. Edward Murphy attesting as to my
danger, I would appreciate it sincerely. I'll even
send a copy to Mr. Murphy asking him to sign it
hisownself. I'm sure they give him some manner of
seal to legitimize claims such as that.
Susan, I
was born into a Muslim family, and I am
a Liberal. Thank you for joining me as
an Islamic Terrorist. But really I
think Mr. Murphy is full of bull sh**,
which make him an expert in fertilizers,
products used to make bombs.
Love with all my ammo,
Farhan
May 6 - Well,
it happened.
The Texas State Board of Education took science out
behind the barn and beat it to death with the books of
the Old Testament.
This was nothing more than a wedge to allow teaching
that the earth is 6,000 years old and that God planted
dinosaur bones just to jack with us.
Mrs. Cargill also believes that the scientific
explanation for gravity is one of two things: (1)
Jesus likes everything to be on the floor, or (2) Satan
is trying to steal all the cool stuff.
Susan, Now
you've done it! You put that Cargill link
right out where unsuspecting idiots like
myself can get to it. Don't think I've ever
heard such drivel in my whole life. I'm
glad that there was an interpreter handy to
explain just what it was that the dimwit was
saying. Poor old Texas, first it was the
Alamo, Bush, Tom whatshisname, and now
Cargill. Isn't it about time for the TA&M
people to come up with a pill of some sort
to end it all?
Al
May 6 - Damn, I
love Houston politics. I truly do. Where
else would a guy who uses a photo like this in his
advertising ...
... also use this
statement?
He is a strong advocate
for pro-life, is passionately dedicated to the
rights of the unborn, and believes that marriage
should only take place between a man and a woman.
Like our Founding Fathers, TJ does not support a
state sanctioned or required religion but believes
our nation can only achieve greatness under the hand
of God. TJ also believes in the right to bear arms
as stated in the Second Amendment of the United
States Constitution and all attempts to change that
are unconstitutional. In the position of mayor, TJ
Huntley’s abilities may be limited by state and
federal laws, but his influence on the city shall be
prominent, his values will never decrease and he
will always promote honorable morals within our
city.
Dude, it's a real relief to know that, as mayor, you're
gonna limit yourself to doing legal things about my
values. I was having visions of tar and feather
and burning at the stake until I got to that last
sentence. Phew!
Now,
here's a link to his website, but it comes with a
warning. Turn down the freekin' sound before you
click it. He's got a self-produced YouTube on
there with loud background music far more appropriate
for Lincoln's funeral. It comes on automatically
and it scared the crap out of my dog. Well, it
kinda scared me, too.
Anyway,
come to find out, Mr. Huntley does not own
property
in Houston, runs his Missouri real estate business from
his laptop out of local Starbucks, and has never been to
a city council meeting.
He does, however, know a very cool barber.
Susan - his
picture is missing a halo.
Bud
Susan,
From those pictures Teejay may very well
have a future in the Republican Party.
Pro-life, pro traditional marriage and
armed theocrat, looking for someone who
might want to go around the corner with him
to relieve a little tension.
Brian
May 6 - I know
for a fact that some people are so stoopid that you have
to tell them, "This whole baseball thing as a sport
seems to be working out."
It appears that
Republicans are on that list.
Dr. Frank Luntz, a top
Republican consultant on the language of politics,
is warning the GOP that the American people want
health-care reform and that lawmakers need to try to
avoid directly opposing President Barack Obama.
“You simply MUST be vocally and passionately on the
side of REFORM,” Luntz advises in a confidential
26-page report obtained from Capitol Hill
Republicans. “The status quo is no longer
acceptable."
Hey, that Frank Luntz can see lightening and hear
thunder, which, bless his lonely heart, puts him four
steps ahead of the rest of Republicans in America.
Another "confidential" thoughts to Republicans:
This Obama guy seems to be getting some traction.
Hi Susan,
Thought
you might like to see proof that
Republicans really are clowns.
This page shows your (and mine)
favorite Texas doofus 'pubbie but check
out both pages. It's a hoot.
Take
care,
Grace
May 6 - Thank you,
Don Wright, for introducing us to the new GOP!
May 5 - Phew!
Well, that's over. I think swine flu was the
biggest bust we've had around here since LaWanda Brown
had the reduction surgery. LaWanda should have
been in the Olympics for being able to sit up, Honey!
But this was bigger. I personally think it was
created by the hand sanitizer people, kinda like the
supposed
ammo shortage is being created by ... well, duh, the
ammo industry.
There's no shortage of ammo. There is, however, a
shortage of flip flops, so, as my Facebook friends know,
I'm stocking up!
May 5 - Happy
Cinco de Mayo! Margaritas on the house all day
today!
As a special treat, I'll share one of my
favorite
Average Betty recipes. It's politics, it's
fun, it's cheese! Enjoy Average Betty and be sure
to
know your Tex-Mex heroes!
I'm having a girlfriend lunch over near the Margarita
machine so if I don't make any sense this afternoon ...
who the heck will know the difference?
May 4 - So it
appears that Florida is taking aim at Texas in the
crooked politician division. However, at least Florida
has a Grand Jury in full operating position.
Susan.
I
read this and thought of you and the
State of Texas. Every prostitute
that has ever served time for selling
their bodies should have their record
expunged. All of the political whores
should visit a cell block for an
extended period of time. You continue to
be my first read every morning.
Bud
Legislators are in full whine
now, saying those nasty old grand
jurors just don't understand how the
system works. Ha. Sounds to me like
they understood it just fine.
Big campaign donor gets state to
build him an airplane hangar
disguised as a college building 15
miles away from the campus. Without
discussion or debate. No scrutiny by
state education officials who
normally approve such projects. No
discussion by budget committees.
Which reminds me, they are talking about our goofy State
Board of Education
in stinkin' England.
Hillis says Texas's high
school curriculum is already behind. "We have some
excellent high schools in Texas and some excellent
teachers. And we have high schools where they're
teaching 18th or 19th century science." If the new
standards prevail, more entering students will be
unprepared. "If students don't have any evolutionary
biology, that means even more remedial education we
have to do."
I hope the State Board of Education is happy. When
you've got British people laughing at you, you've
managed an impressive feat. After all,
this is their marathon race.
May 3 - Y'all,
this might be fun.
One of my conservative friends forwarded me an
email from some joint called Newsmax called "A Call to
Arms" (Whoa, these conservatives are so danged anxious
to shoot somebody!) that goes like this ----
Urgent Message from Newsmax.com
Dear Newsmax Reader:
We have been warning that President
Barack Obama is leading America down a dangerous
path to socialism.
But, en route, he will take us
through an even longer recession than we needed to
have, rocketing inflation, and, perhaps, a second
downturn to cure the inflation.
All this will have grave implications
each of our personal assets and stock portfolios.
Many people are worried — and they
have good reason to worry.
It's extremely important for
Americans to take steps now to protect their money
and their financial freedom.
This is why Newsmax and Moneynews are
hosting a special online seminar online called “The
Call To Arms” hosted by famed former CNN anchor Bob
Losure.
This urgent online meeting is
scheduled for
Thursday, May 7th.
I am pleased to announce that Dick
Morris, the famous Fox News analyst, will be joining
us for this important meeting to reveal his take on
the current political and economic situation.
We expect upwards of 250,000 people
to participate.
I want to encourage you to sign up
for this "Call to Arms" online meeting.
There is no charge to attend.
After you sign up, they will give you
FREE access to a members-only website.
This site will help you protect your
wealth and investments from the far-reaching hands
of Barack Obama and the Democrats in Washington.
Please sign up for this no risk
online meeting —
Go Here Now.
Thank you.
Well, I don't know about you but when I want to protect
my money from greedy politicians, the first name I think
of is toe-sucking, whoring, lisping Dick Morris.
And apparently conservatives do, too!
I'm laying two to one odds that this "Call To Arms"
will feature a way to part you from your money and into
Newmax's pocket.
I'm signing up, Dude.
By signing up for the webcast, you will be granted
V.I.P access to this website at no charge
whatsoever.
Together we will take back what’s rightfully ours .
. . the American Dream we were raised to be proud
of. Not this path towards Socialism we are being
force fed now.
And then onward to the Reader's Digest Sweepstakes
Winner's Circle!
Good Lord, it don't take a marketing degree to see guys
trying to make a buck, ya know.
oh, Susan,
i'd signup too but i just have too much
stoopid in my life right now to deal with
anymore. i've gotta husband, an ex-husband,
a 16 yr old foster son & 2 younger boys.
that ain't even counting the 20 indoor
dogs. i don't even want to know why the
younger boys are having peeing contests from
the tops of trees, so listening
to republicans just might put me in a coma.
my thoughts will be with you however. best
of luck.
Mary from NH
A
conference hosted by Bob Loser,
excuse me, Losure. And I'm
going to tune in to hear Famed
Fox News analyst Dick Morris.
Couldn't they have shortened
that to inept or despicable or
better still, Liar.
Sam
Oh so
*now* they're worried about the country.
8 years too late, buds. The American
Dream ended with George Bush.
Fools.
John B
Susan, I
know that trashgroup, Newsmax.com. One day
I went to a little used email appl Yahoo
Email, opened it because it said I had
umptygazillion emails to open. I went to
my inbox and found it full to overflowing
with crap from Newsmax.com, which I promptly
deleted and cannot find the thingee that
makes it all go away and not come back. I
read one that first time, but since have
just gone to the "Delete All" and get rid of
it before it makes my PC smell bad. A pox
on Yahoo for allowing such crap.
Al
Squirely
(not squirrely)(mostly not)
Just last
year, Prostitute Toe-Sucker Dick Morris was
forced to pay $2 million in back taxes,
so I guess he does know something about
keeping money from the gubmint. Right up
until the point that they come to haul him
off to jail, and then he hands it over. I'm
sure he has valuable, sage advice that will
benefit all the Newsmax nitwits.
A 9-millimeter semi-automatic handgun was reported
missing from the front porch of a home in the 3800
block of CR 651 near Brazoria about 1:30 p.m.
Monday, a sheriff’s office spokeswoman said.
The owner left the gun on the front porch and when
the owner returned, it was gone. The weapon is
valued at $200.
I cannot find this location on a Google map, but I
highly suspect it's a trailer park. And the
handgun was most likely sitting atop a broken washing
machine.
It's a simple explanation if you
live in Brazoria County-he kept
the gun there to keep anyone
from stealing one of the cars on
blocks in the front yard.
Sam
May 1 - Okay,
this guy should be required to go babysit all the
Lamar Junior High schoolers. That would be a most
appropriate punishment.
In a case of what a
spokesperson for the Texas Attorney General’s Office
told the Fort Bend Herald Friday morning is the
first reported case of alleged price gouging related
to swine flu, a Richmond medical supply company
reportedly tried to sell a box of 35 paper masks for
$350 Thursday.
Rats! The first case just had to be in my
hometown. I've done my last business with KO
Medical Supply. Okay, so I haven't done my first
business with them yet but I assure you that I won't.
May 1 - Sorry I'm
a late getting this up. I do not have swine flu.
They closed the junior high school right down the road
from me for a week which seems like unnecessarily cruel
and unusual punishment to parents, and they just
cancelled jury duty all week in the county which just
seems like lazy judges to me.
Good Lord, pink eye has killed more people than swine
flu. I mean, I don't want to get pink eye but they
don't shut down the county when somebody does.
Welcome to the website formerly known as The World's Most
Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.
My name is
Susan DuQuesnay Bankston.
I live in Richmond, Texas, in heart of Tom DeLay's old
district. It's crazy here. No, seriously, it's
triple z crazzzy.
I used to be an independent voter, but that all changed when
I got to know a few local Republicans. They are meaner
than 10 acres of snakes and have the ethical compass of a
bank robber.
So, I
decided that they could just Kiss My Big Blue Butt.
A lot of
what I post here has to do with local politics, but you
probably have the same folks in your local government.
This ain't
a blog. Blogs are way too trendy for me. I've
been doing this since 1992, so I'm used to it even if you
ain't.
Email me
and I'll find a place to put it if I like it.
As far as I'm concerned, it should be taken a step
further and even more wild eyed radical - if you don't
believe in public education, you probably shouldn't be
on the State Board of Education. Yes, it's you I'm
talking to, Cynthia Dunbar of Richmond, Texas.
When you think public education is evil, you have no
place on the State Board of Education. You don't
see a bunch of Christian Scientists on the State Board
of Medical Examiners or a bunch of purposefully ugly
people on the State Board of Cosmetology. 
One
of the top Republicans in the Senate, John Cornyn,
is repudiating recent comments by Rush Limbaugh and
Newt Gingrich which claimed that Supreme Court
nominee Sonia Sotomayor is a racist.
To be honest with you, if Richard had not been elected
to the court, this would have slid right by because the
other commissioners are shivering scardy cats when it
comes to standing up to Charlie.
another
dude with a tax-free slush fund from developers.
Then out of the blue, Texas Congressvarmint John
Culbertson of Houston started trying to explain his
libertarianism against his belief that we should check
every bed in America at night to make sure that no
same-gender people are in one together. About 45
seconds into his explanation, little spittle things
began to form at the edges of his mouth and the most
astounding words came tumbling out. 
Burt sent out a mass email congratulating Marilyn Glover
for her election to the school board. Marilyn is
an African-American Republican. Burt's a slut.
the
whole thing. And, bless their hearts, sent it to
me with instructions on how to read it properly.
good.
You do not even need butter on it. Seriously.
I do not joke about corn. Or butter, for that
matter.
Well, Shandra got the boot, of course, by a vote of 27 -
4 but the upside for Republicans is that they got to
talk dirty for a while. They love to talk dirty.
And sex toys is one of their favorite dirty talk.
Bless her heart for providing that opportunity.
AUSTIN,
Texas – While
The neo-nuts are upset that Cornyn endorsed Charlie
Crist in Florida ---
Dallas
hundreds of times in my life, and Cheetos are my
imitation cheese flavored cardboard crunch of choice, so
how come
approval
to a bill allowing college students to carry concealed
handguns on campus. The vote was 10 - 20.
that
either but that's the argument he uses to justify that
the GOP must be given some power to keep America from
falling off the left edge.
7:00.
He confirmed that he did, in fact, fire Mike Elliott
today. I asked why Elliott was fired and Healy
replied, "Not for anything he did today." Healey
says he will have more to say on Monday morning but was
going home now for dinner and ball game.
However, her greatest qualification for the $95,000 a
year job seems to be ---
Look, Pete, if Obama really wanted to kill the economy,
he'd use all those leftover Janet Reno black helicopters
piloted by members of the Illuminati. 
Here is a rare glimpse into my refrigerator. 
property
in Houston, runs his Missouri real estate business from
his laptop out of local Starbucks, and has never been to
a city council meeting. 
