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April 30 - Our friends over at Folo gave us a heads-up this morning.  MSN has a cute little dealie that lets you find the cheapest gas in your zip code.
     Here's mine - just enter your zip code at the top and see if you can do better than $3.429.

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April 30 - Thank you, Signe Wilkinson!

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April 29 - Would somebody please remind me what country I live in and what the dickens happened to my Bill of Rights?

Following in the wake of February's news that customs agents were seizing electronics and making copies of all the files on cell phones and laptop hard drives, a federal appeals court has ruled on the legality of such searches. The result: Yeah, customs can do whatever it wants to your computer when you come across the border, without a warrant, and without cause.

The ruling extends to all electronics: In addition to laptops, feds can seize phone records and even digital pictures on your camera as they hunt for evidence. The ruling was unanimous among the three appellate judges.

     Oh, I get it.  I have an I-Phone so I must be a terrorist.
     Well hell's bells, if they're gonna steal my photos, I'm gonna find some cool things to photograph with my I-Phone, like these three obviously terrorist women at the State Democratic Executive Committee meeting last weekend in Round Rock. 
 

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April 29 - Okay, so you just gotta go read this.  You just gotta.
     As you know, our buddy (and the best damn Republican spy Fort Bend County has ever seen), Fenway Fran, up and moved to Oregon. 
     As expected, she's causing trouble there, too.
     But, this will be your favorite story for a long while. 

The Oregon Voter's Pamphlet is out. Yep, everything you want to know about the election coming up. And if you still have questions, there's even a phone number you can call.

A letter from Secretary of State Bill Bradbury encourages you to call for voter assistance. The number is conveniently posted in 11 places in the pamphlet. Problem is ....

     No, no, I'm gonna let her tell it.  It gives a whole new meaning to "hot line."

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April 29 - Thanks to Brian for the heads-up.

Sighting: Former Rep. DeLay finds religion in the Capitol

Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Texas) was spotted on the third floor of the Capitol last week.

What was he doing there?

“Bible study,” said DeLay.

     But of course he was.
     God's gonna get him.  You just watch.  It's gonna happen.  You don't jack with God like that. 

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April 29 - Earl rides again ---

April 28 - Alfredo is wondering if these two stories, both breaking today, have anything to do with each other.
     Democrats Registering in Record Numbers
     ... and the Supreme Court Upholds Law to Prevent Democrats From Actually Voting. 
     Okay, so you have to admit it's gotta be more than coincidence. 

Stepping into a partisan political battle, the nation's high court voted 6-3 to reject a challenge to Indiana's toughest-in-the-nation voter identification law.

Democrats and other opponents had argued the law was unconstitutional because it made it too difficult for some people to vote, especially minorities, the poor, the disabled and the elderly. Those groups are most likely not to have government identification and also tend to vote for Democrats.

     Every time I hear a Hillary supporter say that they will vote for McCain is Hillary's not the Democratic nominee, I want to scream in their faces, "And you want a permanent Supreme Court set on the destruction of this country?"
     I'm just waiting for them to rule that you have to be a white male to vote and then we'll only count it if you live in a red state.

     Alfredo also adds, "Voter ID laws - because just beating up Democrats isn't enough to stop them from voting."

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April 28 - Ya know what?  I think they're scared of us Texans.
     Democratic Chairman Howard Dean made an announcement that the fighting had to be over in June.

But Dean didn't say which candidate should drop out, only that it should happen after primary voters have been to the polls.

"We want the voters to have their say. That's over on June 3," Dean said in an interview on ABC's "Good Morning America."

     June 3rd?  Hummmm ... the Texas Democratic State Convention is on June 5th - 7th.  I think maybe that Howard Dean is scared of what we Texans will do to each other if there's still a fight going on during our convention.
     I guess he heard of the Alamo, Goliad and San Jacinto.  We are a fightin' bunch of people here.
     On the upside, the Texas Democratic Party Chairman, the lovely and talented Boyd Richie, announced this weekend that both candidates have been invited to speak at the Texas convention.  Neither has accepted as of yet, but --- and I'm just thinking out loud here --- June 5th might be a good time to have one of them make an endorsement speech of the other one and then let the two of them stand together and vow to put a Democrat in the White House. 
     Best of all, they could do it in front of 20,000 hollerin' Texans. 

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April 27 - Charly Hoarse over at Zippidy Doo Da, where the glorious motto is "I'm not stupid.  I'm from Texas.", sent us a heads-up about Tom DeLay - the 12th conviction in the Abramoff probe.

The Justice Department lost one of its own to the Jack Abramoff lobbying scandal Tuesday as a former high-ranking department attorney pleaded guilty to conflict of interest.

Robert E. Coughlin II admitted in federal court in Washington that he accepted meals, concert tickets and luxury seats at sporting events from a lobbyist while helping the lobbyist's clients. He pleaded guilty to a single conflict-of-interest charge and faces up to 10 months in prison under a plea deal with the government.

     That's the fires of hell you feel burning on your rump, Tom.
     By the way, it's worth a trip to Zippidy just to follow their links! 

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April 27 - As my friend Deb says, "If ya can't beat 'em, call 'em names!"
     Bill O'Reilly, he of the sex pervert fame, is calling Bill Moyers, an ordained Baptist minister, names.  And, Lord help us, Newt is joining in ---

Fox News’s Bill O’Reilly attacked Moyers on his show last night, calling him a “far left PBS guy” who is “extreme” and “pathetic.” At the end of his Talking Points Memo segment, O’Reilly suggested that Moyers and Wright should “take a long vacation, perhaps in Iran.”

     Isn't this the seventh sign?  Two guys who have been through more wives than your average Texas Mormon cult leader are accusing a Baptist minister of hating America. 
     Damn, Moyers, you're good.  You've got them foaming at the mouth. 
     By the way, Bill Moyer's "The Power of the Myth" is one of my favorite reads.  I doubt O'Reilly has read it - it has big words and no sex scenes. 

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April 25 - A grin and a thanks to Richard in Mexico for allowing us to visit. 
     Richard describes a Belles of Heaven Republican Women's Club meeting in his Mexican resort town.  He says, "They sound like they'd be right at home among your Super Delux Christian Ladies... though not being Texas, I somehow think tequila was involved in all this."
     It usually is, Richard, it usually is.

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April 25 - Friday's Toon compliments of Dana Summers and the stinkin' Republican Party ---

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April 24 - For those of you waiting for Sweet Jesus to return, you're in for a little bit of a shock.  Apparently, He ain't so sweet any more.  See for yourself.
     Our local sheriff, Milton Dufus Wright, has "given his blessing" to allow an inmate to paint a Jesus mural on the chapel wall. 
     I'm not going to post the picture here because it will scare the bejeebers out of little children and Momma.  Momma is expecting Jesus of the Sermon on the Mount, not Evil Wizard Jesus riding a pissed-off unicorn. 
     I dunno, but if you look close, I think there's some flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz in the background on the right.  I know Sheriff Milton gets the two confused all the time - Wizard of Oz, Bible, Wizard of Oz, Bible, Wizard ..., oh heck, what's the difference?
     I dunno know 'bout your hometown but we have a sheriff here of thinks Zane Gray is great literature and Fabio is in all real art.
     For those who are wondering:  yes, the ADL has been notified, but somebody needs to call the Christians, too, because that Jesus looks like he could hurt somebody.  Maybe it's just me, but I'm not totally certain that's what we should be using as an inmate role model. 

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April 23 - One of my friends who trolls Free Republic sent me something very interesting.  I will not go to Free Republic until they can prove beyond a scientific doubt that whatever those people have is not contagious.
     Anyway, my friend found Republican Commissioner Andy Meyers posting during office hours.  You just gotta wonder if he was using his office computer, too.
     There's rumors that he'll run for State Rep if Charlie Howard resigns to run for State Senate.  I doubt it.  There's more graft in being a county commissioner.

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April 23 - About a week ago, David sent me a dandy story about a Texas prison inmate who wants to further his life of crime. 

BOISE, Idaho (AP) -- A federal prison inmate got himself listed on the ballot for Idaho's May 27 primary as a Democratic presidential candidate, the state's top election official said.

Keith Russell Judd is serving time at the Beaumont Federal Correctional Institution in Texas for making threats at the University of New Mexico in 1999. He's scheduled for release in 2013.

Judd, 49, qualified for the ballot by submitting a notarized form and paying the required $1,000 fee, state Secretary of State Ben Ysursa said. As a result, Democratic voters will be able to choose between Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and Judd.

"We got conned," Ysursa told The Spokesman-Review of Spokane, Wash.

     You got conned?  Ya think? 
     I hate to be the bearer of bad news for Mr. Russell, but I don't think that people are going to vote for a crook from Texas.  Again.

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April 23 - Sad reminder - please only eat American farm raised or wild American shrimp. 

Workers in Southeast Asia's shrimp industry suffer regular abuse and sometimes live in what amounts to virtual slavery, a human-rights organization said Wednesday.

     Shrimp:  it's not just for breakfast anymore!

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April 22 - And speaking of ethics reform, about 18 months ago I filed a complaint with the Texas Ethics Commission  outlining how Commissioner Andy Meyers plays hanky-panky with his political contribution account. 
     Andy, the man who gives self-righteous a bad name, has a long and distinguished reputation for supporting his lifestyle (and his son's lifestyle) with his campaign contributions, 98% of which come from local developers and vendors. 
     It's pay to play and Andy's in the Kickback Hall of Fame, Hon. 
     Since filing my original complaint 18 months ago, I've filed two other complaints on Andy.  However, it is of no small  concern to me that it takes over 18 months to make Andy stop it, dammit.  Best I can figure, he's waiting for me to die or the law to change. 
     So, I got another notice last week that the first complaint is  still pending.  Click the little one to get the big one.
     I called the Ethics Commission this morning to find out if the complaint goes away if I get hit by a pickup truck; in particular, a pick up truck purchased with campaign account money.  (Yes, Andy bought a truck with his campaign account.)
     They said the commission made a settlement offer to Andy earlier this month and he has some time to either accept it or appeal it.  If he appeals it, there will be a formal hearing in a couple of months.  I will be there with bells on!  In fact, we may rent a bus so you can go, too.  I want to see Andy Meyers lie under oath.
     Ya see, Andy's Bible says it's a sin to dance or drink a beer, but lying and stealing are negotiable. 
     Anybody else want a seat on the bus to Austin?  I can guarantee you that we'll dance and drink a beer, but Andy's cornered the market on lying and stealing. 
     Hey, maybe we could even get Nookie's to bake us a tata cake in Andy's honor!

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April 22 - Alfredo sends us some news about Texas Senator Slick John Cornyn.
     Cornyn has high-dollar friends in low places.  I know that semi-shocks you, considering that Slick John didn't get his nickname for his hair gel.
     Less than a year ago, The Scooter Store of New Braunfels, Texas, paid a settlement to the U.S. government $4 million to settle allegations of Medicare fraud.  It also gave up about $13 million in pending Medicare claims.
     But, that didn't stop John Cornyn from putting his hand in their back pockets.  Take a lookie here at all the money The Scooter Store gave John Cornyn:

HARRISON, DOUGLAS T
NEW BRAUNFELS,TX 78132  SCOOTER STORE INC./CEO  12/19/2005      $3,200  Cornyn, John   
HARRISON, DOUGLAS T
NEW BRAUNFELS,TX 78132  SCOOTER STORE INC./CEO  12/19/2005      $2,100  Cornyn, John   
HARRISON, DOUGLAS T
NEW BRAUNFELS,TX 78132  SCOOTER STORE INC./CEO  10/20/2005      $1,000  Cornyn, John   
HARRISON, DOUGLAS T
NEW BRAUNFELS,TX 78132  SCOOTER STORE INC./CEO  4/4/2007        $800    Cornyn, John   
HARRISON, DOUGLAS T
NEW BRAUNFELS,TX 78132  SCOOTER STORE INC./CEO  4/4/2007        $200    Cornyn, John   
HARRISON, DOUGLAS T
NEW BRAUNFELS,TX 78132  SCOOTER STORE INC./CEO  4/4/2007        ($200)  Cornyn, John   
HARRISON, DOUGLAS T
NEW BRAUNFELS,TX 78132  SCOOTER STORE INC./CEO  4/4/2007        ($400)  Cornyn, John   
HARRISON, DOUGLAS T
NEW BRAUNFELS,TX 78132  SCOOTER STORE INC./CEO  12/19/2005      ($2,100)        Cornyn, John   
WESTON, DANIEL R
DALLAS,TX 75248 SCOOTER STORE INC./EXECUTIVE    10/10/2005      $250    Cornyn, John 

Oh no, we're not finished yet.  They were very, very good to John Cornyn.  There's more  ---

HARRISON, DOUGLAS
NEW BRAUNFELS,TX 78132  SCOOTER STORE/CEO       12/28/2007      $5,000  To Organize a Majority PAC     
HARRISON, DOUGLAS T
NEW BRAUNFELS,TX 78132  SCOOTER STORE INC./CEO  4/4/2007        $800    Cornyn, John   
HARRISON, DOUGLAS T
NEW BRAUNFELS,TX 78132  SCOOTER STORE INC./CEO  4/4/2007        $200    Cornyn, John   
HARRISON, DOUGLAS T
NEW BRAUNFELS,TX 78132  SCOOTER STORE INC./CEO  4/4/2007        ($200)  Cornyn, John   
HARRISON, DOUGLAS T
NEW BRAUNFELS,TX 78132  SCOOTER STORE INC./CEO  4/4/2007        ($400)  Cornyn, John   

     I hear that crime pays, and Medicare fraud pays even better!
     Even AFTER the settlement, The Scooter Store set up a political PAC and lookie some more at who they big bucks to ---

JUDGE JOHN CARTER FOR CONGRESS COMMITTE
PO Box 6930
Round Rock, Texas 78683
02/25/2008 Contribution to Primary Election 2500.00

     Wouldn't you just know it - the slimiest man in Congress.  And that's why I gave Mary Beth Harrell a campaign contribution two years ago. 
     Now I know that The Scooter Store is just a bunch of fine, upstanding good-ole-boys who are trying to rip off the government like all the other corporate elites are doing while their buddies are in the White House, but there seems something really obscene in ripping off old people.  I think God has a real special place in hell for people who do that.

UPDATE:  Alfredo found more.  Remember - these contributions came AFTER the $17 million dollar settlement:

SCOOTER Store
PAC Contributions to Federal Candidates
2008 Cycle
House Candidate         Total Contribs 
Carter, John (R-TX)     $500       
Rodriguez, Ciro D (D-TX)        $1,000       
Ross, Mike (D-AR)       $500       
Smith, Lamar (R-TX)     $1,000
       
Total to Democratic House Candidates:   $1,500 
Total to Republican House Candidates:   $1,500 

Presidential Candidate  Total Contribs 
Clinton, Hillary (D)    $2,000
       
Total to Democratic Presidential Candidates:    $2,000 
Total to Republican Presidential Candidates:    $0     

Senate Candidate        Total Contribs 
Cornyn, John (R-TX)     $2,500       
Specter, Arlen (R-PA)   $1,000
       
Total to Democratic Senate Candidates:  $0     
Total to Republican Senate Candidates:  $3,500 
 

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April 22 - Thank you, Don Wright!

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April 21 - I have a little self-awareness confession to make here.  Maybe some of you can identify with it.
     I recently made a writing commitment with a deadline.  (I'll tell you more about it later.) It's been five years since I worked on a deadline. 
     I like deadlines, especially that whooshing sound they make as the fly past.
     I have noticed something.  I have drawers that only need cleaning when I'm on deadline.  For the past two days, I have found more errands to run and drawers to clean than I knew I owned.  All of a sudden, my belt drawer is a mess, the same mess it's been for two years, except if I don't clean right now this minute, all my belts will run away from home and join the circus or something.
     And I couldn't live without a new orange tee-shirt today.  It was an orange tee-shirt emergency.  After all, you never know when you're going to need an orange tee-shirt to go with that orange ...., oh crud, now I have to go buy a pair of yellow pants tomorrow to go with the orange tee-shirt.
     So the clock is ticking and I'm seriously considering taking up macramé. 
     Bubba says he likes for me to be back on deadline - the house gets cleaned and I take a sudden interest in cooking elaborate dinners. 
     Okay, I'm going to click one of those tabs on the bottom of my screen and go stare at a blank word document until I realize there's real live dust bunnies under my bed screaming to be set free.
     I'm on deadline.

     And then just to save me from myself and some serious writing, Sybil sends me this.  Enjoy, but don't click at work.

Prepare yourself for this one - maybe with a Stoli martini or two. 

Back in the days of the Soviet Union, the Soviet Red Army had an official choir composed of male soldiers and musicians.  It still exists.  The Red Army Choir performs throughout Russia to this day.

Now consider the Finnish rock band called The Leningrad Cowboys.  A little while ago, they held a concert in Russia, in which - to the screaming applause of Russkie teen-agers - they got the Red Army Choir to join them on stage for a performance of "Sweet Home Alabama."  In English.  You couldn't make this up.

We're talking seriously off the wall here. 

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April 21 - Okay, ya'll, Earl is funny.

April 21 - Alfredo calls it the YCVUYAR Law in Florida (You Can't Vote Unless You're a Republican).

If the point of elections laws is to make voting as convenient as possible, Florida has missed it. The state has just been named by three voting rights advocacy groups as "the most hostile state in the nation to new voters."

     I don't know about you, but I've already made up my mind:  I am not going to let them steal another election.  I'm gonna pitch a walleyed snot nosed hissy fit this time.  I hope they know that they are on notice that we're taking ten acres of snakes mean once you really hack me off. 

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April 20 - My friend Lorraine in Spring (who was a gift to us from Philly) sent me this picture and link, saying, "I couldn't be prouder of my hometown!"

     That there is what they call Independence Hall in the background with 35,000 people in front wanting change.  Gorgeous picture!

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April 20 - And not to be outdone by Don, Squire Al checks in from Vermont ---

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April 20 - Oh the shame!

     And Vicki sends us this shocking picture of George Stephanopoulos.

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April 19 - Don A., our foreign correspondent in Pennsylvania, sends us the latest from primary country. 

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April 19 - We get some dandy ideas ---

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April 18 - Oh dear.

At a small closed-door fundraiser after Super Tuesday, Sen. Hillary Clinton blamed what she called the "activist base" of the Democratic Party -- and MoveOn.org in particular -- for many of her electoral defeats, saying activists had "flooded" state caucuses and "intimidated" her supporters, according to an audio recording of the event obtained by The Huffington Post.

     Oh dear, now she's complaining about the vast left-wing conspiracy.

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April 18 - David gives us a heads-up on this whole George Bush and history deal ----

President Bush often argues that history will vindicate him. So he can't be pleased with an informal survey of 109 professional historians conducted by the History News Network. It found that 98 percent of them believe that Bush's presidency has been a failure, while only about 2 percent see it as a success. Not only that, more than 61 percent of the historians say the current presidency is the worst in American history.

     I would like to personally thank the Republican Party and especially The Belles of Heaven Republican Women's Club for helping make every Democratic President  look so darned good.
     Anyone who voted for Bush the second time has exhibited such poor judgment and mental capacity that they should have their voter registration card revoked for at least 16 years or a mental health re-evaluation hearing, whichever comes first.  No, I'm serious.  We should not let those people vote again.  It would be like letting some guy who lost his shirt at the racetrack place your bets for you. 
     We cannot afford that kind of stoopid again. 

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April 18 - Friday cheer from Signe Wilkinson --

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April 18 - The delegation of SD 18 Fort Bend to the Texas Democratic Convention has been challenged.  A challenge was filed by a Hillary delegate to throw out the entire delegation and seat no one, including the other Hillary delegates. 
     Ho Boy! They're willing to sacrifice each other.
     The challenge, which we will cheerfully post online early next week, is both self-contradictory and full of misstatements of both the facts and the rules of the Texas Democratic Party. 
     The Hillary delegate filing the challenge is a recently disbarred Florida lawyer with a stack of grievances and no history of voting in the Democratic primary.  We have no idea who paid the approximately $500 mailing and copying costs of the challenge because this same delegate gave sworn testimony in a Florida court last year that she was financially unable to repay her student loans.  Her employment situation has not changed since then. 
     If the Hillary campaign is behind this challenge, then they can really pick 'um - recently disbarred Florida lawyer who tried to weasel out of her student loans, and admits under oath that her boyfriend/baby's daddy is her only means of support.  Cripes, people, is that the best you can do?  Why don't you just hand John McCain the election on a silver platter? 
     The best part, however, is the nuttiness of challenge itself.  The challenger obviously does not realize that there are videotapes of things happening that she swears did not happen.
     The challenge will not be successful, but if it were, none of SD18 Fort Bend's delegates would be seated except for our one state super-delegate, who is an Obama supporter.  He would cast our district's entire 64 votes, all to Obama.  Hillary would lose the 18 votes she currently holds in the district. 
     Double dog duh with little chocolate sprinkles on top.  It don't take a mathematics professor to figure that one out!
     I'll keep ya informed.
     Ya know, I like Hillary just fine.  It's her supporters I can't abide, and I'm just gonna have to break down and write about it. 

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April 16 - I know I'm always thinking of ways for you to spend your money, but this is the best bargain in town.
     The Washington Spectator is a bi-weekly with one of my favorite Texas writers, Lou Dubose, as the editor.  It cost a whopping $18 a year for a subscription.  You can't even buy a pair of earrings for $18, Honey!  You will love yourself for subscribing.
     Yesterday, Lou did an article on Hillary's campaign in Texas that is worth the whole $18.  It's called Winning Ugly and the free part says ---

Since the beginning of March, every major contest in the race for the Democratic nomination has been do or die for Hillary Clinton. (Never mind that Barack Obama actually "won" in Texas.) The Clintons have always responded to adversity with unshakeable resolve and a willingness to fight. The country is now in the process of learning if that resolve is an asset or a liability in a national political campaign. More and more, it looks like a liability.

And a little taste of what's not free ---

Yet the Texas primary brought new life to a moribund state party, most of it in the form of younger voters turning out in record-setting numbers to support Obama. Their passionate commitment to their candidate was evident in the fact that many of them didn't vote in down-ballot races, voting only for their presidential candidate at the top of the ticket, according to analysis by the Dallas Morning News. It was, however, their guy who got stiffed in what is widely perceived to have been an election won on fear and deceit. Those Obama Democrats, the first new blood the party has seen that wasn't drying on the floor, might not come back if Hillary Clinton gets the nomination.

     I have tried my darnest to avoid what some folks call "Hillary bashing," which has come to mean that you cannot say anything critical of Hillary, which is a sort of an elitism that rises above even royalty. 
     However, Lou's work cannot be missed by any Texas Democrat.
     Go give yourself a treat!

     And here's another treat  - from Jon Stewart on elitism. 

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April 16 - Alfredo sent the following cryptic message: 

 Soon to be attacking a Democrat near you

     The uncreatively named "Texans for Freedom" was formed by Vanessa Cahill, who claims to be a Texas artist.  She's even got a website, decorated adoringly  with oddly elongated pictures of Ron Paul.
     She also rumped out of a Corpus Christi GOP convention with about 40 other people because she claims that the chairman wouldn't give her the committee selection minutes.

He [the convention chair] was prepared to give Cahill the committee contact information until a friend sent him an e-mail in which one of Cahill's associates called county leadership "marxist, fascist and warmongers." The e-mail was addressed to an Internet group in support of Paul.

     I've never known Alfredo to be wrong about anything, but it seems to me that Vanessa is waaaay too busy attacking Republicans to have time to pester Democrats.  Paulicans are kinda famous for that.
     Plus, there's that whole conundrum about how you could be a Marxist and a fascist at the same darned time.  Trying to figure that out makes my ears ring.
     I make it down to Corpus every now and again, so I'll see if I can hunt-up some of Vanessa's art to show you.  Odds are that it's kinda prissy.

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April 15 - I have a theory that when anything really odd happens in Texas, the perpetrator is either stoned, drunk or just a good ole boy acting naturally.  Here's one for ya:

A water moccasin wasn’t the most unusual thing police found in the late-model Buick of a man charged with burglary this weekend.

A day after police found a 4-foot long water moccasin in the car of William Eric Johnson, authorities discovered a live, 6-foot alligator lounging in his back seat.

“It was like Crocodile Dundee, Brazoria style,” Brazoria Police Chief Neal Longbotham said.

Johnson, 30, had “several addresses,” including one in Tennessee but was possibly living at a trailer park in the 500 block of West San Bernard Street in Brazoria, Longbotham said. Johnson was charged with burglary of a habitation early Sunday after he was found with items missing from a trailer in the same park, Department of Public Safety Trooper Steven Stanfield said.

Johnson also was cited by a game warden for illegally possessing an alligator.

     Okay, you figure it out:  stoned, drunk or good-ole-boy.
     By the way, I've got a deal with alligators- I don't eat them and they don't eat me.  So far, it's worked out okay.
     And the icing on the cake is this quote from the article:

“It was a weird deal,” Stanfield said. “The alligator was perfectly content — happy. You don’t see that every day, that’s for sure.”

     Okay, so how do you tell that an alligator's happy?  Wags his tail and votes Republican?
     You just gotta go read the whole story.  There's no tellin' when's the next time you get to read this about a burglar ---

“A TV was too big for him to carry by himself, so he knocked on a door and asked for help getting it into his car,” Longbotham said. “The neighbor saw the man and the alligator and wanted no part of that.”

     Yes sireee, that's some fine Texas reading.

     Thanks to Kathy or the heads-up.

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April 15 - My personal geek - and if you don't have one, get one - David rode in the MS150 last weekend, and although he's older than dirt, he has kept the aching and whining to a minimum. 
     He told me yesterday that he met people with MS along the route who kept thanking him.  "My little aches and pains from riding are nothing compared to what they go through every day," he said.
     David is short of his goal of $2184, to match the number of miles he's pedaled in the MS150 over the years.  So if you have some extra money, pitch it into David's pot and feel good about what you've done. 
     Another sidelight - I've sponsored riders every year since it's beginning and I can assure you that donating to the MS150 doesn't get you hounded for more money and on half the email charitable lists in the country.  You donate, they thank you and that's it.
     Give them a little money.  It's the right thing to do if you're a lefty.

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April 15 - We get email from Earl.

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April 15 - You think you've got it bad on tax day?  That ain't nothing compared to trying to run for office with Tom DeLay on your back.
     Alfredo tells us, "Tom DeLay - the gift that keeps on giving. Tommy boy is going to cost the Republithugs a U.S. Senate seat in Colorado." 

Democratic staffers involved in the 1999 [Abramoff] hearings said that at that time an extensive Republican effort to change the subject and quash legislation that would have imposed strict immigration and labor laws on the islands was being directed out of the office of Rep. Tom DeLay, R-Texas, the powerful majority leader, and communicated to Republicans on the Resources Committee.

DeLay was one of Abramoff's most powerful allies, and several former staff members were later caught up in a wide-ranging federal corruption probe that had Abramoff at its center. DeLay resigned his seat under pressure from the scandal.

     Yeah, DeLay resigned and left his friends hanging.  And he still claims he did nothing wrong.  Gotta love that 'bout Tom - he just keeps on making Democrats happy.

---

April 14 - Well, I wonder if he's thought of looking in the want ads under "Torturing Sycophant Idiots Sons of Motherless Goats?"
     Turns out that Alberto Gonzales is having a hard time finding a job in that free market economy he loves so well.  Listen here:

Alberto R. Gonzales, like many others recently unemployed, has discovered how difficult it can be to find a new job. Mr. Gonzales, the former attorney general, who was forced to resign last year, has been unable to interest law firms in adding his name to their roster, Washington lawyers and his associates said in recent interviews.

He has, through friends, put out inquiries, they said, and has not found any takers. What makes Mr. Gonzales’s case extraordinary is that former attorneys general, the government’s chief lawyer, are typically highly sought.

     You know how it is - you hate to spend time training a guy to be the WalMart greeter just to have him have to go off to prison.
     They say he's making money giving speeches.  Isn't there some law about criminals not being able to make money off their crimes? 
     Thanks to Deb for the heads-up!

---

April 14 - Okay, back to local politics.
     My heart got all a'flutter this morning over my morning newspaper when I read that GOP State Representative Charlie Howard, founding member of the Fort Bend Christian Coalition and self-described Tom DeLay BFF,  is pondering on running for the State Senate seat that Kyle Janek is resigning in June.

And state Reps. Charlie Howard, R-Sugar Land, and Scott Hochberg, D-Houston, also are considering running ....

     Oh Holy Mother of Crash and Burn, this is the best news for local Democratic political pundits since Dean Hrbacek announced he was running for Congress. 
     Charlie Howard is so much fun to kick around because he takes hypocrisy and arrogance high enough to see the lights of Memphis. 
     Short description for you folks from foreign states:  Think Tom DeLay with more money and less good looks.  That's Charlie.
     Yep, that's a picture of Charlie campaigning next to Tom DeLay on election day in front of Sugar Creek Country Club.  Charlie is the shorter one on the left.  In real life, he's to the right of Tom, but still shorter.
     I've got some good stories about Charlie because the two of us go back years and years.  One of my favorites involves a personal moral confession he shared with me a decade ago.
     I was asking him why he kept his horses on land owned by Fluor-Daniels, giving Fluor millions of dollars in agricultural tax abatements over the years.  Charlie admitted to me that he paid Fluor a "small amount of money" to keep his horses there and so it was a win-win for everybody.
     "Not me," I hollered.  "I don't win.  You get a cheap place to keep your horses.  Fluor gets millions in tax abatements.  And I get diddle squat except higher taxes to make-up for what Fluor and you aren't paying."
     Ole Charlie looked sheepish and says, "I am a Christian but greed is my one shortcoming.  I pray about constantly."
     I kinda got red in the face and grabbed his shirt and said in that real mean voice I have, "Well, dammit, Charlie, here's the answer to your prayer - quit taking other people's money that don't belong to you.  You need me to go set a bush on fire or something so you can hear that?" 
     Charlie and I haven't been close as you'd suspect since then. 
     I have other great stories about Charlie, many of them on tape, and him running for higher office just gives me an excuse to dust them off.
     Come on, Charlie, do it.  Dean came in fifth - prove you can do better than that.  You're the odds on favorite for fourth.  Think of the bragging rights!

Well, Susan .... I was all willing to come to work for you .... and then you had to go and defame MEMPHIS .... Home of Elvis and Cybill and THE ORIGINAL Al Green ..... I was devastated .....I'm still a dang good secretary in need of a job .... perhaps we can chat -- AS LONG AS YOU LEAVE MEMPHIS OUT OF IT .......I do so love your commentaries :) Zanidew Yo Susan,   Looks like Charlie himself wrote his own campaign slogan:   "I am a Christian but greed is my one shortcoming.  I pray about constantly."   Yep, sounds just like Hot Tub Tom. Except for the prayer part, of course. Looking forward to more Charlie stories.   Your Dam Yankee Friend in Spring, Lorraine   Susan-   I'd like to feel sorry for you kids in FBC over the possibility that Charlie "Baby Bugkiller" Howard could be your next State Senator, but frankly, we-uns in District 7 already have our own arrogant hypocrite to worry about:  (I don't know if he Dan Patrick on the right would be much of a politician, but he'd be less of an embarrassment, for sure). Kellybee Susan, you forgot to mention that Charlie used to quote the Bible saying that men should be the leaders in this country.  Some GOPer women got him to quit saying that.  Even they were embarrassed.  Dee

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April 14 - My friend Carol in Vermont thinks that if Vermont is too cold for me, maybe I'd consider San Francisco. 
     Check this out.  No, really, click that sucker.
     There are a group of people in San Francisco who want to name their sewage plant after George W Bush.  That is dandy!
     However, that last time I was in San Francisco, there was a Gap store on the corner of Haight Ashbury.  That just seemed so wrong. 

     Which brings me to another email I got this morning.  I think my other displaced Texan friend who moved to Vermont, Squire Al, was a bit miffed that I mentioned Carol but not him when I was discussing Vermont last week.  Yes, I have two friends in Vermont.  That information would required that I resign my membership in the Daughters of the Alamo so please keep it quiet.
     Anyway, Al found reason to send me this picture with a note that says -

Susan, Have you ever asked yourself where the producers of this world would be without the consumers?   Attached is a pic of a producer (Ben Cohen, ice cream producer) and a consumer (Al Wright).  Haven't met Jerry yet, but hope to one day.  Al, Squire Extrordinaire

     My friend Al, where Chunky Monkey got its name.

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April 13 - And to round-out our weekend fun, Nancy sent us these pictures taken by a friend of hers.
     Nancy, who is a longtime friend of mine, says, "A friend sent this to me. This was on Hwy 59 S. near Sugar Land. You can see Williams Tower in the background, so you know it's on the northbound side."

     And there's another ...

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April 13 - One more reason why I love Texas on Friday nights.  Can you name one other place where a trailer shoots itself to death?  Okay, so maybe Mississippi, but not with such flare!
     I just love the whole, "I dunno what happened officer.  I was using my ammo dump for an ashtray and then I went to the bathroom and ....

ANGLETON — Constant ammunition fire kept Angleton firefighters away for more than an hour Friday night as they watched a trailer home burn to the ground.

Firefighters responded to the fire in the 3700 block of CR 34 at about 7:30 p.m. Friday. As they pulled up, the heat was setting off ammunition inside the trailer, preventing them from getting near it, Angleton Assistant Fire Chief Hardwick Bieri said.

“I was told there were guns and ammunition all throughout the house,” Bieri said. “We backed away because it got too dangerous.”

Standing a few feet away was Ben Salazar, 52, who lived at the home with his son, Adrian Salazar, 16.

When asked where he would stay Friday night, Ben Salazar said solemnly, “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

Adrian Salazar told firefighters he was smoking a cigarette in his bedroom and went to the bathroom. When he came out, he noticed his room on fire, Bieri said.

     Thanks to Kathy, my foreign correspondence down the road, for the heads-up on this one. 
     And then there's the complications ----

While firefighters monitored the blaze, insulation melted off an electrical wire, causing a transformer across the road to catch fire, Bieri said.

“There has not been a quiet moment,” he said as rounds of ammunition continued to fire.

     Sounds like the only thing that could top this is if the first day of deer season fell on the Fourth of July.

---

April 13 - We get emails with cool political ads ---

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April 12 - Okay, it's a long time past the March primary, but Pasadena Mayor John Manlove, crushed GOP candidate for CD22, is still has his tacky illegally placed signs in Richmond.

     It's on a fence between an apartment complex and an elementary school. 
     Look, I realize that Pasadena ain't exactly a garden spot, but why does in think he can leave his garbage all over my hometown? 
     Come get your sign, nincompoop.

---

April 11 - You know how you keep hearing about that 18% of America who still support George Bush?
     Well, wouldn't you know it - he lives around the corner from me.  The crankiest old man in the entire greater Houston area lives about a mile from my house. 
     Bubba says the old coot keeps that sign in his yard because he knows I have to pass by his house to get to my best shopping buddy's house. 
     He has the last moldy old Yeehaw Bush! sign in the entire world. 
     Used to be that every stinkin' Republican had one of those signs in their yards.  Slowly, they started coming down in the middle of the night as the war got uglier. 
      You don't even see Bush bumper stickers around here anymore.  But, by golly, this old fart is standing by his man, no matter that both of them are dumber than bean dip.
     I'll let you be the first to know when he puts a McCain sign in his yard.

---

April 11 - My friend Carol up and moved to Vermont a few years ago.  We stay in touch with email and I even sent her a Goode Company pecan pie (simply the best) when she had surgery last fall.  It is a scientific fact that pecan pie will cure anything.  One day I'm going to get a Nobel Prize for all the research I've done in proving that.
     Anyway, Carol keeps telling me that I need to move to Vermont because they have much better politicians than we do.  She even sent me a signed Pat Leahy tee-shirt to sweeten the deal.  Well hell, truth be known, Louisiana has better politicians than we do.  Abilene has better politicians than we do.  We are the whale poop on the ocean floor of politicians, so I didn't take her bait.
     Then came Bernie Sanders.  Carol was staff on Bernie's campaign.  That's hard to top in the desired goals of political junkies.  She sent a Bernie! tee-shirt.
     And she knows Ben and Jerry personally.  I imagine that honor includes some free ice cream.
     So, I was semi-seriously pondering on packing up and moving to Vermont where my politics wouldn't stand out like black roots on bleached blonde hair. 
     And then today I get an email from Carol.  I'm sitting here in shorts and tee shirt, overlooking my garden in full bloom and then Carol writes me ---

Other than the dog shedding up a storm, getting rid of her winter coat,  the attached picture is the only sign that winter may soon be over.   Of course there is a blizzard in MN and our weather comes from the west except when we’re blasted by the Montreal Express.  Sigh.

Carol

     I ain't moving to no damn Vermont.

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April 11 - When Republican voting officials can't prevent Democrats from registering to vote, they just resort to physically attacking Democratic candidates.

A Republican voter registration deputy faces battery charges after he tackled a newspaper reporter and hit the Democratic 6th District congressional candidate after a contentious Delaware County Election Board meeting this afternoon.

The meeting had just ended when Will Statom, GOP registration deputy and secretary of the local Republican Party, attacked Star Press reporter Nick Werner while Werner was interviewing Ball State University student Johanna Perez about hundreds of last-minute voter registrations for Democrat Barack Obama’s campaign.

------

Statom had just walked past Werner when Statom turned around and pushed Werner against the wall, grabbed him and they fell to the ground, according to witnesses.

     Okay, so my question is this:  Was it an anger attack or just flirtatious erotic playing man to man?  With Republicans these days, it's hard to tell.

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April 10 - Okay, an old buddy named Brian showed up at my joint a few minutes ago with this. 

     Vaya con diablo, Shelley.

---

April 10 - Okay, NOW I finally get to buy a copy and read for myself how he lied, lied, lied about me. 
     According to his spiffy new website, Tom DeLay's book is now selling for one cent.  No, really.
     Okay, so I know that's still too much.  I mean, a penny can also buy ... ummm ... let me think here .... uh .... well, one penny buys diddle squat in this Republican economy. 
     However, the next time somebody complains about the rising price of gas, groceries, housing, hair spray .... you can step up and announce, "Yes, but one cent still buys a piece of Tom DeLay."

---

April 10 - You know how I believe it is my solemn duty to bring vital news about my community to people from those unlucky foreign states, so ---
     The Pecan Grove Fire Volunteer Department seems to be lighting more fires than they are putting out. 
     First, it was ta-ta fires.  Now they've got flaming tempers at board meetings. 

LeDoux refused to release the names of firefighters, saying that the department is a nonprofit corporation and not a government agency. Since the department is not a public agency, LeDoux said, it is not obligated to release such information.

Minchew challenged LeDoux’s refusal.

“So, therefore, as a private group, you do whatever you want to do?” Minchew said. “Obviously that’s the problem that’s been going on with the fire department. You’re trying to hide under the corporation and you’re a firefighter.”

LeDoux repeated that the department was not a government agency, only to have Minchew again accuse him of “hiding.”

“Here we go again, we’re hiding under the corporation,” Minchew interjected.

LeDoux turned in his seat, pointed at Minchew and shouted that he was not hiding.

     Well, Cowpoke, it appears that nobody is hiding nothing over there at the fire department.  I mean, if that ain't irony, I ain't a short redhead with way too much time on my hands.
     And how the fool tarnation the Municipal Utility District got involved in this investigation is one of those Texas mystery things only understood by downtown Houston law firms who charge major bucks to be the only people who understand.
     Anyway, the sheriff's department is spending perfectly good tax dollars investigating the legal fact that some grown woman flashed her hooters and hiney at the fire department when no one was there except somebody armed with a camera and a sense of humor.
     But, the Boys at the Sheriff's Department are gonna solve this crime before sunset because there's boobies involved. 
     My bet is that all these fellas are going to have a dozen or so meetings about this, get the Greater Mount Hope and Utopia Baptist Church Ladies' Missionary Union and the Republican Men's Club involved, and find themselves some pictures of nakkid lungs.
     We just have all the fun in Richmond.

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April 10 - Locals will not want to miss Hal's farewell tribute to Shelley Sekula Gibbs.  It's a damn hoot.
     But, think about sad old Dean Hrbacek - that unfortunate dude lost the election twice!

---

April 10 - You just gotta love a guy who brings back good old Henry Kissinger.

     And they said no one could top Cheney.  Honey, you ain't seen nation building yet.
     Thanks to Bob for the heads-up.

---

April 10 - And Kellybee has another treat for us ---

Susan-    I'll just let this link explain my latest set of pitchers: As a veteran of the Armed Forces, I find tin-plated little poseurs like this "tough guy" from North Carolina both annoying and offensive... Kellybee

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April 9 - In local results, County Commissioner Tom "Mr. Hawaii" Stavinoha got himself beat in his own primary.  Greg Ordeneaux whipped him like a red-headed stepchild.
     Interesting side note - if you recall, I got a testy letter from Ordeneaux's sister jumping me with the  comment, "My thoughts are people you have nothing good to say about them, generally resort to finding fault in others. Think about it---", which we think comes close to meaning that I shouldn't be writing.
     Well, she needs to save her lectures for her brother, who ran a very negative half-page ad against Stavinoha the week before the election.  Yo, Paula, Rock's on the phone - he wants to talk to you about glass houses.
     On the Democratic side for that race, it was a tough choice.  Bubba and I gave money to three of the 5 Democratic candidates because good people should be encouraged to enter politics.  The race stayed clean and on the issues.  Richard Morrison was the victor.  He'll take it in November because nobody except 15 Houston lawyers and some concrete salesmen wants a tollroad through the heart of this county.

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April 9 - Well, the customers are really split this morning about the GOP CD22 race.
     Earl says --

So long Shelley
So long Shelley
So long Shelley
Beat like a rented mule!

Earl

     But Dennis sends a picture with his message ---

Apparently, out new Republican running for District 22 can't hire campaign people any smarter than Silly Shelly.  Outside my polling place at precinct 2088 were three signs.  Apparently he doesn't know the guy he wants to emulate and replace moved that precinct out of his district in the big fiasco a few years back.

The attached pic is for possible public consumption. I am also sending a link to a photo where someone obviously felt the same way I did, but used a word an election judge would never use where momma might read it.

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April 8 - Well, it's runoff day here in Texas and Earl says "there they may be NO joy at Casa Bankston tonight," because all the rightwing nutcases have left the glowing shadow of Shelley Sekula Gibbs and hitched up with Tom DeLay, Jr., Pete Olson.
     First Ed Hendee made robo calls yesterday for Pete.  Yes, that would be Tom DeLay's big buddy Ed Hendee.
     And then Dan Patrick, who is our local Rush Limbaugh except for the cigar and charm, came within inches of jumping up and screaming, "I'm Dan and I'm the man. I love Pete because he's the treat!" 
     Yeah, Earl's right.  It'll take a little work on my part to list all the dirty money and Tom DeLay backwater that ends up in Pete Olson's grab-bag of goodies.  But Sekula Gibbs writes herself. 

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April 7 - UPDATED
     Well, CD22 candidate for Congressbimbo, Shelley Sekula Gibbs, just dumped another $25,000 of her own money into her campaign. 
     It ain't about money, Honey, it's about stoopid.

UPDATE - and if you're voting in the GOPper primary, don't think the information about Shelley is going to make your choice any easier --- Her opponent, Pete Olson got a $2,000 contribution from the leadership PAC of Rep. Hal Rogers (R-KY).  Rogers made CREW's 2007 list of the 22 Most Corrupt Members of Congress.
     So, it's Bimbochick vs. Tom DeLay, Jr.  Heck of a choice!

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April 6 - You just gotta love those Looneytarians!  I took this picture at Highway 59 and FM 762 today. 

    
     Apparently this one is saying, "The government should leave us all alone, uh, well ...., except for that woman's uterus over there."
     Babe, this creeps me out.  There it was right there on the side of the road with the garage sale, cracked windshields, and house for lease important public notices. 
     So, I search online and I discover that this dude is real worried about "preborn Americans." Uh, I guess that makes me a predead American.  Who's worrying about me? 
     However, this guy apparently ain't worried at all about the Texas Ethics Commission because there is no disclaimer on his sign and the sign was illegally place in a right of way.  So, I might just have to give him something to worry about.  I think he might be a prefined and preconvicted American.
     Look, Guys, it's okay with me if you want to be a twit.  I'm fine with that.  Just don't do it on my way to Marshall's. 

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April 5 - Shelley Sekula Gibbs, listen up, you store-bought blonde bimbo.  We natural blondes are getting madder than a wet hen over the reputation you're giving all blondes.  Not all of us are dumb enough to spend perfectly good American cash money to send Republican campaign mailers to triple D Democrats who voted in the Democratic primary.  This is the second one I got from you in two days.  And, yes, I am keeping count of this, as a matter of fact.
     Mercy, woman, what is wrong with you?  I hate to be tacky about this, but you could use some of that money on a decent pair of shoes and a purse that doesn't look like you're toting around Ecuador. 
     I know you're powerfully upset that Pete drives a Mercedes, doesn't trim his hedges, and brutally killed the potted plant in the urn at his doorstep, but Democrats don't give a big bear's butt about stuff like that.  Seriously, we don't.  Okay, so maybe we will in November, but not now.  Right now we don't care which of you two double-digit IQ, opportunistic, money grubbing sons of a motherless goat get the nomination.

(The preceding message was paid for by the Write In Dean Hrbacek Campaign, Juanita Jean Herownself, Treasurer.)

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April 4 - Alfredo is afraid that the GOP is preparing to steal the election.  Again. 
     It appears that they're already doing it.  Where?  Florida, of course. 

TALLAHASSEE --

(AP) -- Florida can temporarily enforce a law that disqualifies any voter registration where the Social Security or driver license numbers on the application can't be matched with government databases, an appeals court ruled Thursday.

The 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Atlanta said a lower court shouldn't have ordered a temporary injunction in December that prevented Florida from enforcing an anti-fraud law that dismissed applications when matches couldn't be made.

Plaintiffs sued in September, arguing the law could easily and unfairly exclude people based on simple mistakes. For example, if someone got their driver's license number wrong by one digit, they could be prevented from registering.

     Holy Katherine Harris in a sombrero!  When are Democrats in Florida gonna take their state back?

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April 4 - Okay, so now I'm going to show you people from foreign states how CD22 GOPper candidate Dr. Shelley Sekula Gibbs got the nickname Dr. Silly.
     Remember that $50,00 she loaned her herownself? Well, now we know why she needed all that money. Bubba and I got a campaign mailer from her yesterday.  Yep, Bubba and me - two people who voted in the Democratic primary and who cannot, by law of the Great State of Texas, vote in the Republican run-off.  A list of that information cost $5.00 at the elections office.
     But, nooooo..... she spent $50,000 to save $5.  Shelley wanted Democrats to see how clever she is with the Dean Hrbacek trick of replacing heads on bodies, and she was willing to pay big bucks for this 4 page full color mailer to send to people who cannot vote for or against her.  You need to make a note of that somewhere.
     Click the little one to get the big one.

     This sucker goes on for 4 pages and will be a dandy reminder that cowboy boots make Pete Olson's butt look big. 
     And, speaking of big butts, Tom DeLay's brother Randy the Lobbyist just dropped $1,000 into Pete's campaign. 
     So, you got your choice this runoff - you can vote for a silly girl or Tom DeLay, Jr.
     Me?  I am encouraging a "Write-In Dean Hrbacek" movement. 

---

April 4 - I almost always read Mark Morford because he's a dandy wordsmith, making words dance around the page in a little jig that makes other editorial writers seem like they've got a bum leg. 
     Kathy sent me his column this morning even before I finished my first cup of coffee.  I didn't need the second cup because Morford's stuff is far superior to caffeine. Yes, it is.

The very best thing about Barack Obama

No, not that. Or that or that or that. It's that other thing, deeper, crazier, intuitive

Nope, it's not what you might think. The best thing about Barack Obama has almost nothing to do with him as a person or as a leader or even as Oh My God The First Black President Who Could Really Change Everything I Mean Wow. It's not even the wondrous oratory power or the charisma or the sweet sense of deeper change overlaid with all kinds of sparkly utopian futuriffic goodness.

There is, I think, something more. Something richer. And it's rather startling.

     Treat yourself to a fine read this morning. 

---

April 3 - Hal found something very interesting.  Two people, supporting the same Presidential candidate (Hillary Clinton), a very different view of what happened at the convention.  I think the comment (s) at Hal's site are interesting, too.

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April 3 - Earl says, "Do your job well, vote GOP, and still get fired because you're suspected of being a WITCH!"

The Justice Department's inspector general is investigating whether a career attorney in the department was dismissed from her job because of rumors that she is a lesbian.

...At the height of the scandal over the fired U.S. attorneys, Goodling admitted to making personnel decisions about career Justice Department lawyers based on improper partisan considerations.

"I crossed the line of the civil service rules," Goodling told Rep. Bobby Scott (D-VA) at a congressional hearing in May 2007.

     I'm going to say it twice in one day:  John Edwards needs to be Attorney General. 

---

April 3 - My friend Lenny in Arkansas sent me this and asked me to share it with you.  By the way, if you're ever in Hot Springs, Lenny knows all the best places to eat.

     Well, when you elect two Republican Texas oil men to the White House, just be glad that a gallon of gas isn't $10 and a pint of blood.  Oh wait, it is.

---

April 3 - It must GOP CD22 day!  My email box is filled with happy little things about the CD22 kiddos.
     Kellybee has fun with photos again ---

Susan-  Not that us peeps here in the Third Largest County In The U.S. feel the need to tell CD22ers who they should send to Congress, but...couldn't you come up with a better Olson than "Pete The Pirate"? Permit me to suggest a couple of alternatives:   The one on the left is helpful, makes a great cup of coffee and has a delightful Scandinavian accent. The two on the left, while occasionally annoying, are cute and feel at ease in front of a camera (great for those C-SPAN moments). Kellybee

     And someone knew I'd love Alan Bernstein's snark in this morning's Houston Chronicle --

Pressing her theme that Olson is a newcomer, Sekula Gibbs chided Olson for incorrectly saying the local NASA facility is the "Johnson Spacecraft Center." But on the health care issue, Sekula Gibbs said the doctor's oath of "first do no harm" is "caveat emptor" in Latin. The phrase means "let the buyer beware."

     Semi-sadly, I don't think English is her strong point, either.

---

April 3 - Alfredo's emails are always filled with good stuff.  First off, he lets us know that CD22 GOP Official Nutty Lady Shelley Sekula Gibbs has loaned herself more money to the tune of $50,000, so if she tells you that you need a boob job, it might be that she really, really needs some more billboards.
     On another note, you know how your Aunt Clara and your Momma are always sending you links that they call "a must read?"  And then they call you on the phone later to give you a test to make sure you read it? 
     Well, Alfredo doesn't do that.  In all the years he's been sending me really good stuff from the world of bigtime politics in Washington DeeCee, this is the first time he's sent something he calls a must read.  I'd do it if I were you.

Unfortunately, the public hasn't heard just how nonexistent the voter fraud epidemic actually is. While progressives have successfully challenged some of the most restrictive laws in court, they're still playing catch-up when it comes to combating the glib sound bites of voter-fraud alarmists. Republicans and the Bush Justice Department have cloaked their schemes under such noble-sounding concepts as "ballot integrity." The GOP's vote-suppression playbook features everything from phony lawsuits to questionable investigations to authoritative-seeming reports, all with the aim of promoting restrictive laws. These tactics were first perfected in the hotly contested swing state of Missouri.

     Democrats have taken their eye off the ball and it may cost us another election.
     Let me add my opinion.  I sincerely hope that whichever Democrat wins in November, they will immediately appoint John Edwards as Attorney General.  I want my country back, dammit.

---

April 3 - If you heard the Hallelujah Chorus coming from Richmond last night, it's because all the paperwork for the State Democratic convention is finally done. 
     I will tell you, however, that I am very cranky today.  I've run out of nice, and I'm highly likely to whip your rear so hard that it shines in the dark if you even look at me like you're gonna get whiney on me.  I had some woman get on my very last nerve last night. 
     I'm gonna spend the day with you guys, catch up on my emails, and romp around the backyard with Truman. 
     I'll get started in a few minutes, so tune back in later today.

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April 2 - Okay, I've got some girlfriends -- both Clinton and Obama supporters because we get along down here -- coming over today to help with piles of paperwork for the State convention that has to be postmarked by tomorrow.  Hell, our feet still hurt from Saturday, and someone expects us to work?
     As with any girlfriend get-together, it will involve hard work, a serious look on our faces, and much wrangling over proper procedures.
     Chairman Richie, if you're reading this, we want you to know that we take our job real seriously.  You know how it is -- a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, and a woman's gotta do the rest.

---

April 1 - And speaking of Pete Olson being easy to whip in November (see below), here's some ammo --- the FEC wants to know what Olson is hiding about his campaign loans.
     Come on, Pete, you're making it too easy.

---

April 1 - Alfredo has sent us some interesting information about Capt. Love Boat, CD22 GOP candidate Pete Olson.
     It seems that the leadership PACs of former DeLay acolytes Eric Cantor (R-VA) and Tom Feeney (R-FL) have dumped money into the Olson campaign against Shelley Sekula Gibbs.
     Darlin', Pete Olson is Tom DeLay in an old sailor suit.  Heckfire, they even have the same sleazy and violence-prone campaign manager, Chris Homan. 
     Now, here's an oddity: 
I noticed an article on Politico where Chris Homan says, "Democrats want nothing more than to say that the nominee is the person picked by DeLay. That’s their hope and dream." 
     Duh.  No, wait, that's not what I want to say.  I don't want to say "duh." I want to say - Double dog duh with a cherry on top and some of them little sprinkle thingys. 
     Olson's got DeLay's campaign manager, DeLay's friends, DeLay's contributors, DeLay's supporters, DeLay's email list, and as far as I know, he might have been awarded DeLay's little black book of best golf courses, big cigars, and hot babes.
     But nooooooo, he's not picked by DeLay.
     Holy IQ points, how stoopid does he think we are?
     And then yesterday I get an email from Olson saying that the Democrats want Shelley to win because she'll be easier to beat in November.  As proof of this valuable information, he quotes an unnamed "prominent" blogger who says, "I want Shelley Sekula Gibbs to win because she will not only be the easiest candidate for Lampson to defeat in November, but also because we all should be in for a few laughs between now and then."  Oh yeah, well, Honey, if you have a blogger saying it, you can take it to the bank and get a car loan on that collateral. 
     Well, here's better proof, Mr. Olson.  As a not-even-close-to-prominent non-blogger, I say we can whip you so bad that you'll have to unzip your pants to see out.  That's a promise.

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My name is Susan DuQuesnay Bankston.
I live in Richmond, Texas, in heart of Tom DeLay's old district.  It's crazy here.  No, seriously, it's triple z crazzzy.

I used to be an independent voter, but that all changed when I got to know a few local Republicans.  They are meaner than 10 acres of snakes and have the ethical compass of a bank robber. 

So, I decided that they could just Kiss My Big Blue Butt.

A lot of what I post here has to do with local politics, but you probably have the same folks in your local government.

This ain't a blog.  Blogs are way too trendy for me.  I've been doing this since 1992, so I'm used to it even if you ain't. 

Email me and I'll find a place to put it if I like it.