McCain Visits German Restaurant In Ohio

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July 22 - For those of you from foreign states who are asking, no, I am not in Dolly's path.  She's headed to South Texas but we're dancing and hoping for a little rain here. 
     Besides, she's only a Cat 1 storm.  We don't even get out the umbrellas until it's a Cat 4. 

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July 21 - Brian lets us know that there's some real class acts in the South Carolina Senate.  Please meet Republican Senator Kevin Bryant, a deacon at the "Concord Community Church, a New Testament fellowship."  He also spends a week each year at Camp Hope, a "Christian Youth Camp." 
     And in his spare time, he embarrasses Jesus.
     He just put this on his website.

     Anybody who lets this guy within a mile of their kids is either drunk or insane. 
     You might head on over to his site and let him how how proud his church must be of him, what with his dirty mouth and his hateful attitude. 
     I dunno know for a fact, but I kinda figure he's the kind of guy you'd find over Double Shot Liquor and Guns.  Drooling.  Or, in the South Carolina Senate.  Same difference. 

That's funny, I thought the difference between Obama and Osama was  that the Republicans are actually going after Obama. Silly me. Marita   I've tried to post the comment below several times to his web site but, for some inexplicable reason, it just won't stay.  Wonder why that is? "  For equal time, I’m waiting to see you post a “satire” of McCain cheating on his crippled wife before finally hooking up with a rich heiress young enough to be his daughter, and obtaining a marriage license to the mistress while still married to the wife?  " Kathy Susan-   You know I love me some KMBBB (hey, it's more entertaining than cable TV, and cheaper, too), but I've been thinking...what your Website really needs is...a contest. That story about South Carolina State Senator Kevin Bryant has inspired me...permit me to inaugurate the first Kiss My Big Blue Butt Weenie Of The Month! Here are the contestants for July:        A. Ballpark      B. Coney Island      C.  Chicago Style     D.  Just Plain Weener   Voting ends on Thursday, July 31st, and is open to regular readers of this Website (and all those who know a real weenie when they see one). The winner (weiner?) gets an autographed CD of The Ballad of John Cornyn, the song that's sweeping the nation (and embarrassing Texas). Kellybee

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July 21 - Well damn.

The Food and Drug Administration has found salmonella bacteria on a jalapeño pepper imported from Mexico and warned consumers Monday not to eat fresh jalapeños and products made with fresh jalapeños.

     Anybody have any idea what I'm supposed to eat now?  Hell, Honey, I put jalapeños on my oatmeal. 

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July 21 - I'll be handing out hundred dollar bills to registered Republicans tomorrow morning on the Iraq / Pakistan border.  See ya there!
     Somebody give the man a globe!

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July 21 - David just emailed and suggested that ---

Perhaps Republican County Commissioner Andy Meyers should invest $85 of his campaign "contributions" and take this class: Houston CPA Society Schedules Ethics Course in Fort Bend

     Which reminds me:  They filed reports again, but I haven't had a chance to scan and upload them yet.  I'll do it later this week.
     However, it's interesting to note that AFTER we caught Andy Meyers using corporate donations to plan his fundraiser, he decided to reimburse Walter Sass (not the corporation; Sass is the owner) $447.20 for all the corporation's help.  Cute, huh?  So, next time you need to give a $100,000 fundraiser, I'm sure Walter will make all the arrangements for a mere $447.20.  Heckuva deal!
     Andy Meyers is slicker than snot on a doorknob.
     By the way, Andy raised $75,000 for his tax free, vendor funded, lifestyle supporting campaign funds.  And wait till you see what he spent it on - not even including the $5,500 to his adult son. 
     That's $150,000 a year tax free from county vendors that he can spend however he damn well pleases.  Not bad work when you're already on the government teat for $120,000 a year.  And he doesn't even have an opponent.
     No wonder Republicans don't trust government - Andy shows them how easy it is to be a slimy politician. He's nothing more than a teevee evangelist with a government job on the side.  And all you gotta do is convince your rightwing electorate that you love Jesus and hate anybody who doesn't look like you. 
     As they say, Andy Meyers is just a shiver looking for a back to run up.

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July 20 - There are many cool things about spending the weekend in Halletsville and Austin at Democratic trainings, and I'll share some pictures with you later this week, but one of the coolest things is taking a first timer to eat at Matt's El Rancho Restaurant.
     Not only is the food great but you get to order something called "Bob Armstrong Dip" as a appetizer and then you get to explain who Bob Armstrong is.  Is he a wrestler like Matt or a beloved Texas politician?
     Southern Living goes with the lore passed down to me in my college days - it's Texas' Bob Armstrong and it's good.
     Bubba, Jr., Middle Bubba, and Baby Bubba all grew up calling it El Matt's.  It's an Austin tradition. 
     You can eat at Stubbs (or my other favorite, Ironworks, on Friday, El Matt's on Saturday and then just roll yourself home on Sunday.

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July 18 - Good news!  Phil Gram is still in the running to become Secretary of Whiners:

After Sen. John McCain publicly repudiated his close friend and adviser Phil Gramm's comments about a "nation of whiners" and a "mental recession," the two old political comrades patched up their relationship.

Gramm apologized to McCain for his remarks that gave Democrats an opening against the Republican presidential candidate and provided several days of ammunition for blogs, cable television and radio talk shows. McCain told Gramm not to worry about the expected pitfalls of a campaign surrogate. Gramm will continue as an adviser and surrogate.

Gramm remained a steadfast supporter last year when it appeared that McCain's campaign had collapsed. McCain was a loyal backer of Gramm's failed 1988 campaign for president and did not leave until the candidate dropped out of the race.

     Gee, I know married couples who aren't that in love with each other!  Well, and these two guys would be perfect examples of that.

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July 18 - Thank you, John Deering.

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July 18 - Oh no, I'm not putting up with it. I am not.
     Pete Olson and Nick Lampson owe us an apology.
     If this kind of paid political consultant oh-so-cute crapola continues from now until November, I'm sending Momma over to swat both their rear ends. 
     I have a question.  How come candidates can't speak for themselves?  How come they have to hire barely post-pubescent testosterone overdosed former second string college debaters to do their talking for them?  Is this some sort of winkie thing I know nothing about and aren't within a mile of understanding?
     If a young female got this snippy and silly, I'd call her and tell her to quitit dammit.  So, if the Lookie, Lookie, Ain't I Clever boys plan on keeping this up, I'm going to tell Momma and there's gonna be some patootie poppin'.  That's a promise.

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July 17 - Now, I live in Texas so I've seen some real bad ideas in my life.  This, however, raises the standard ---

     It's in Schulenburg, just up the road from here, and David spotted it and stopped to buy me a koozie.  Damn, I have good friends.
     Just in case you can't see the sign ---

     Now, I know you're wondering who would fill out an application to work there, considering guns and hooch generally don't mix all that dandy.  Ya know, you put a little too much testosterone and not enough IQ with those "double shots" and nothing good is bound to happen.
     Well, maybe this helps.  It appears that Double Shot Liquor and Guns ain't all that big on the guns part - at least ones with bullets.  Now, the problem is that they don't specify how the guns must be unloaded.  I've unloaded a few guns in my life in a manner not appropriate to a liquor store parking lot.  Gee, I hope Bubba and Cooter don't shoot up that ice machine just to unload. 

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July 17 - Bam!  Sweet Sugar Land just kicked it up a notch.

SUGAR LAND, Texas -- An overturned 18-wheeler that spilled its load of molasses closed a Sugar Land highway during rush hour on Thursday, KPRC Local 2 reported.

The accident happened in the southbound lanes of State Highway 6 at the Southwest Freeway shortly after 4 p.m.

Sugar Land police said the big rig tipped when it made a turn, dumping its load onto the roadway.

Officials said it would take at least four hours to clean up the accident.

     Pancakes, anyone?

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July 17 - I've been pondering on this and I come to believe that Sweet Jesus doesn't mind you selling tires.  Nor does he mind you advertising.  However, I think he really gets antsy when you use him to sell your tires.

     Yep, right down the street from this, is a more tasteful version of Lord Jesus Cars.  This, I guess, is Riding on Jesus Tires.
     I kinda figure that someone who would use Jesus like that would probably use me, too.  I'd head on down the road and shop at Big Joe's Tires, Hubcaps, and Bait Supplies if I were you.  The more religious sometime tells me they are, the more I count the silverware.

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July 16 - Okay, here's the #1 Reason why a Democrat, Nick Lampson, will keep the seat formerly occupied by Tom DeLay:  Tom DeLay is still running for that seat.  (It's a safe site to open while at work.  However, don't get into arguments there because it just entertains the mentally ill Republicans.)
     You know how to pronounce Pete Olson's name backwards?  Tom DeLay.

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July 16 - Ya know, Republican Congressvarmint Jeb Hensarling up in Dallas seems to be extremely popular with Countrywide Financial  Services.  They are throwing perfectly good American money at him even though he doesn't have a Democratic opponent this election. 
     And he's keeping it, even though Countrywide is --- well, in a pile of deep dung.
     And it appears that it's gonna get worse.
     So, Hensarling moves down the moral scale from whore to cheap slut. 
     (Sorry, Momma, there's just no delicate way to put this.  I know you don't like me saying whore, and that slut is a four-letter word.  But, Momma, the guy's like a two bit Pavement Princess who's gotta sell himself to feed his power-crack habit.  I can't think of any other way to say it.  Except maybe that he's like Uncle Dewayne who's serving time for armed robbery of a Tupperware Party.  Well, I should add that Uncle Dewayne isn't blood family, he just married into it and that he was armed with a vegetable peeler and that Aunt Clara May peeled him up one side and down the other when he came in drunk and robbed her Tupperware Party.  [Yeah, yeah, he robbed a Tupperware Party in his own house.  Did I mention that he was drunk?  And stupid.]  Well, Hensarling is kinda like that.  Except just the stupid and desperate part.  I don't think he's drunk.  Well, I dunno.  No telling what he is, what with all the recent revelations about Republican men.  Anyway, Momma, I'm sorry about the language so why don't you just skip over that part?)

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July 16 - Those of you who have an unhealthy interest in numbers and politics will love this.  Paul Burka of Texas Monthly wonders aloud how this state will look come November. 
     Cool graphics and charts, too. 
     And local Republicans in Fort Bend need to be afraid, very afraid.  I mean, not just of themselves like this, but afraid of Democrats, too.

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July 16 - We get email from people who read the Wall Street Journal and still have a sense of humor.

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July 15 - Well, there one thing you can say about John Cornyn - that sucker stays bought.
     Five grand from the admitted crooks at The Scooter Store.  Fifty more bucks and he has to wear their logo on his suit pocket.

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July 15 - UPDATE:  They realized how incredibly dumb they looked and took it down.  However, I have a copy of it which I will put back up on my site when I figure out how to do that.  Meanwhile, I can email you a copy if you want it.

Oh sweet torta carnita on a bolillo, we found the You Tube.
     When we saw you last, we were hunting for the famous local Republican You Tube that would get "perhaps nationwide" awareness for Republican values.  Apparently, those values do not include production values.
     Oh dear, someone -- and I won't name names here --- really wants to be discovered as movie star even if she can't read her lines. 
     It's goshawful.
     And oh so silly.
     As one customer emailed after finding and viewing the video, ---

“Any donkey can kick down a barn . . . it takes an architect to build one.” 

John Healey, philosopher

      Well, except it's jackass and carpenter.  Fool me twice, ya can't get fooled again.
     Okay, so I think I've prepared you well enough for this, so here goes.  However, do not be fooled like I was into thinking it's 10 minutes long.  It's only 6:25 minutes of totally boring nonsense followed by three minutes of a blank screen and then a half minute of bad salsa music.
     Pay particular attention to John Healey's facial expression after he delivers his almost clever line of "Keep your change in your pocket."  And remember this guy is our District Attorney.  Are we screwed or what?
 

    
     You know how you know that a Republican You Tube is really, really goshawful?  When a Democrat will cheerfully put it on her website.
     I know each of you will have your personal favorite silliness from this You Tube, but I'm kinda partial to, "Turn off the national news and vote!"  Yeah, dude, you do not want to know what the fool tarnation is going on before you vote. 
     I stayed till the end to discover that this You Tube was paid for by something called Republican Compadres.  I checked and there's no such group registered with the Texas Ethics Commission or the FEC.  But, that's no problem because Healey's the district attorney and he refuses to investigate or prosecute election code violations.  Hummm -- talk about something in someone's pocket.
     Tell ya what - if they'll agree to do another of these things, I'll pay for it!  And I'll even kick in some extra if Andy Meyers is in it.
 

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July 14 - Okay, so I thought local Republicans hit a low with Andy Meyer's distasteful political signs two years ago. 

     But, apparently they hit bottom and are still digging.  A press release went out today with this picture and information.  Now, I'm reprinting this exactly as it was received by the local media.  

FORT BEND DISTRICT ATTORNEY JOHN F. HEALEY APPEARS IN YOU-TUBE WITH DONKEY AND PRECINCT CHAIRS. 

Pictured is Fort Bend County District Attorney John F. Healey, Fort Bend County Precinct Chairs Elizabeth A. Howard, Samuel Reed, and Jenna Le Blanc with D-D the Donkey on the set of the first of the You-Tube videos. 

The taping occured Tuesday afternoon in David Show Walter's new office building in Richmond, TX. The purpose of the You-Tube is to bring awareness to the community, statewide, and perhaps nationwide on Republican values.

     Yeah, well, their spellcheck broke and they ain't spending the money to fix it, dammit, because that's like .... I dunno .... money they can save and take to heaven with them. 
     And David Showalter, who is fond of putting his picture on billboards, got his name mangled, but hey - there's a donkey in the show!  A real donkey!  You know, the animal that Mary rode to Bethlehem.  Think about that - she didn't ride no damn elephant or Hummer.  So much for Republican values, huh? 
     And then there's the small omission of the link to the actual You Tube that will get "perhaps nationwide" coverage.   Oh ... well ... I can pretty much assure you  that's gonna happen.  Kinda like Dean Hrbacek and suddenly skinny. 
     So, somebody with better hunting skills than I have, please try to find the actual YouTube they are so proud about.  It apparently has Republican District Attorney John Healey and a jackass in it - I hope it includes instructions on how to tell the two apart.
     Best we can figure, two years ago they went for hateful and mean.  This year they're going for silly, silly, oh dear God that's silly.
     And who sent this mangled press release?  Elizabeth A. Howard, the woman in the picture.  And, apparently she really, really wants "perhaps nationwide" coverage.
 

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July 14 - Well, ummm, come to find out, John McCain and Phil Gramm don't even know each other ---

Yesterday, McCain economic adviser Carly Fiorina chimed in on NBC's "Meet the Press," saying, "I think John McCain has been real clear that Phil Gramm wasn't speaking for him, and in fact John McCain has said now for many months that he believes the economy is in a recession. . . . I don't think Senator Gramm will any longer be speaking for John McCain."

They met at cocktail party once, but other than that, uh no - they don't know each other.  Even if they did, they're just friends and John McCain is not having economic relations with that economist, Mr. Gramm.

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July 14 - My theory?  They've come to pick him up and take him back home.

Analysis of Federal Aviation Administration radar by the Mutual UFO Network, a group dedicated to the scientific study of unidentified flying objects, confirms ground sightings of several unidentified aircraft on Jan. 8 flying 70 miles southeast of Fort Worth, Texas, with one appearing to head toward President Bush's ranch in Crawford.

     I think they have plans to use him to destroy other civilizations, too.  I mean, drop him off on Nebula 345H and within 8 years the whole place will have gone to hell and easy for the moongoons to take over. 
     Hey, I said it was just a theory.  Still, it's probably just as good as any theory anybody else had.

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July 14 - It's a scientifically proven well-known fact that Fort Bend Democrats have their stuff together.  Well, now they have two places to put it!
     The first headquarters will be on US 90A - the busiest street in Rosenberg, the center of the county. 

     It's a former used car dealership with plenty of space to put large signs.  It even has a couple of out buildings for storage and fish fries.  The Grand Opening will be the evening of August 9th so reserve that night for loud Democratic fun!
     The second headquarters is the old Charlie's Bar-Be-Que in Missouri City on Texas Parkway, within walking distance of an early voting location.  Skip Belt secured this dandy location and he promises a Grand Opening there by the middle of August.  Way to go, Skip!

     We're ready to turn this county blue and will even have a Pin-The-Tail-On-Tom-DeLay booth at each Grand Opening.  We'll change the sign on the front from Charlie's to Obama's!
     If you live in some foreign state but want to help with our efforts, get a tee-shirt or make a donation!  You'll get a personal thank you note from me!

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July 13 - I tell people that I live dangerously close to Houston.  There are, however, some benefits to that.  It's a 45 minute drive to get there and a sugar high to get home.  El Bolillo bakery on Airline. 

     That's just the cooler.  There's three walls of baked goods. 

     Then there's also the cake factory and warm tortillas in the back.
     They give you a large platter, some tongs, and then turn you loose to hurt yourself in the most wonderful way. 
     It's across the street from the Farmer's Market so you can go buy some squash and carrots to eat --- tomorrow.

 

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July 13 - You know, I've been wondering for a while - why is it that Republicans like the Second Amendment a whole bunch but not the First?

 

      Okay, so they want laws that you can carry a gun into a public library but you can't carry words into a public event?  Yep - them words are dangerous. 
     Rachel Maddow did the best commentary on it.  And by the way, I've been waiting for a good time to say this --- Rachel Maddow is the smartest person on teevee. 

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July 13 - My friend Carl from Cheboygan found something I'd been looking for - Molly Ivins on Phil Gramm.

Gramm both looks like a snapping turtle and has the personality of one. When he ran for president in 1996 and finished fifth in Iowa, all the profiles written of him included the line “Even his friends don’t like him.” Self-righteous and strident, Gramm demonized his opponents and used bitter, polarizing rhetoric. During a Senate debate over Social Security, a member pointed out that the proposal under consideration would hurt 80-year-old retirees. “Most people don’t have the luxury of living to be 80 years old,” Gramm scoffed, “so it’s hard for me to feel sorry for them.” Well, there is that.

     Give yourself a treat by reading the whole thing and then thinking to yourself:  THIS is the guy who would be in charge of our economy?  Then think that out loud, To. Everyone. You. Know.

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July 11 - Not only is the fox now watching the henhouse - he's taking bribes from the coyote.

Attention presidential candidates (and independent political groups hoping to make a splash in the 2008 campaigns): The referees are back on the field.

This morning, a full six members of the Federal Election Commission took their seats and announced they were back after a strange, seven-month hiatus. In their first official action, the commission elected a new chairman, Donald McGahn, who previously served as the lead lawyer for the House Republicans' campaign committee and handled legal work for former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Texas).

     Republicans now have their own guy heading up the FEC.  Not only that, but he's Tom DeLay's lawyer, forgoshsakes.
     If that doesn't scare you enough, try McGahn's first statement as head of the FEC ---

After taking the gavel, McGahn made clear the FEC will not be on the sidelines any longer. "We don't have a calendar yet," he said, "but be assured, it's going to be brisk and ambitious."

     Cripes.  Why not just let Karl Rove be in charge?

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July 10 - One of the really cool things about being me, and there are plenty of cool things about being me which I will gladly enumerate for you at some point, is that people tell you all the good rumors. 
     Like this one.  Thank you, Steve.

A spokesperson for Alabama Governor Bob Riley denied that Attorney General Troy King is preparing to resign in the wake of a massive rumor campaign that has yet to be fully confirmed. The word is, according to multiple sources in Montgomery and elsewhere, that King was recently caught by his wife in a gay affair with a male aide and banished from his home.

According to Tara Hutchison in the executive office of the governor they have heard of no plans in the works for King’s resignation. She said she had not heard that he had been kicked out of his home because of a gay affair.

     Okay, so this wouldn't be too funny unless there was a ton and half of hypocrisy involved. 

Recently appointed Alabama Attorney General Troy King replaces Bill Pryor, whose presidential appointment to the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals was rocked with controversy because of his openly conservative views on homosexuality and abortion.

As a law student at the University from 1990 to 1993, King touted similar views, writing frequent editorials in The Crimson White on issues such as homosexuality, affirmative action and abortion.

King called homosexuality the downfall of society in the Feb. 21, 1992, CW.

     On the other hand, it's Alabama.  We should be thrilled there weren't farm animals involved. 

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July 10 - Look, I'm going to keep this simple. 
     Two Texas rich white Republican boys - Bush and Cheney - got us into this economic mess.  And McSame thinks another Texas rich Republican boy - Phil Gramm - can get us out?
     It don't take a triple digit IQ to know that Phil Gramm is Dick Cheney's twin brother. 
     Do not trust rich Texas Republican boys with your money.  Do not. 

"We have sort of become a nation of whiners," he said. "You just hear this constant whining, complaining about a loss of competitiveness, America in decline" despite a major export boom that is the primary reason that growth continues in the economy, he said.

     We've got a gazillion dollar national debt, gas is four buck a gallon, people are losing their homes, prices are skyrocketing, our infrastructure is failing, we can't respond to national emergencies ---- picky, picky, picky, whine, whine whine.
     So, what Gramm is saying is that this is the best we can expect when Republicans are in office?  We should just quit whining and suck it up? 
     Hey Gramm - suck this, buddy.  I ain't voting for none of you and then we'll see who's whining when they have to work for living.

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July 10 - We get email from Sam in Pearland.

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July 9 - Well, I see that Texas Republican Senator John Cornyn flip-flopped on the Medicare bill after the AMA and three-quarters of the State of Texas went after him with intent to bar-be-que. 

The Medicare vote came down to the wire in dramatic fashion as 18 Republicans broke with their party to pass the House-backed bill.

Sighs of relief could be heard on the Democratic side as lawmakers, beginning with Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-Texas), chairwoman of the Republican Policy Committee, joined with Democrats to pass the bill by a 69-30 margin. Hutchison’s Texas colleague, Sen. John Cornyn (R), who was on the receiving end of an American Medical Association ad blitz slamming his pre-recess position, also ended up voting for the bill.

Throughout the day, the pressure was on several GOP lawmakers to side with Democrats on the measure. Vice President Cheney came early to the weekly Republican luncheon, where the Medicare vote was discussed.

     Our friend Alfredo suggests that the story should have been titled, "Cheney Lobbies Senate Republicans, Fails Miserably"
     It's kinda pathetic that you have to run attack ads against your Senator to make him do the right thing. 

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July 9 - We get very funny email from people in foreign states ---

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July 9 - Thank you, Mike Luckovich.

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July 8 - Well, as Jim Hightower says, "There ain't nothing in the middle of the road except yellow stripes and dead armadillos."
     And Nick Lampson.
     Today Roll Call (subscription only) did an article on Lampson.  I can't print it all here, but I'll give you a little taste.

Texas - Mark Truskey, a self-described conservative, likes Rep. Nick Lampson (D). Truskey thinks the Congressman is a moderate who is focused on the right agenda - and he likes what the Democrat has to say on several issues.

But Truskey is still not going to vote for Lampson in November. Despite exhibiting some personal affection for the Congressman, Truskey plans to vote for ex- Senate aide Pete Olson, the Republican nominee in the solidly conservative, suburban Houston 22nd district - even though he admits to knowing very little about Olson at this point.

     There's an old saying that goes like this -- if you give Republicans a choice between a Republican and a Democrat who claims to act like a Republican, they'll pick the Republican every damn time.  Apparently, there's some merit to that, because Mr. Truskey continues --- 

"Right now, if I look at Lampson, and I look at what little I know about Olson, I think they have a lot of similarities to them," he said. "And all things being equal on the key issues, I would stick to the Republican Party."

     And Nick's "middle of the road" approach of not taking a stand doesn't seem to be working. 

When faced with politically challenging questions, Lampson often steered his answers into a related topic on which partisans on both sides of the aisle might agree, erring on the side of making the conservatives in the crowd feel at home.

     Look, I hate to give the guy a hard time, but for Lampson the dreaded "L Word" isn't "Liberal."  It's "Leadership."   He avoids leading like it's a flesh-eating virus.
     Lampson needs to quit dilly-dallying around.  Tell people why we need change.  Lead them to doing the right thing for this country and for their fellow Americans. 
     If you call yourself a Democrat, be a Democrat, dammit.  If you want to be an Independent, run as an Independent. 
     Cripes.  I heard a Democrat say the other day, "Well, at least Lampson is better than Tom DeLay."  Yeah, well, so is Bozo the Clown, but I don't want him for a Congresscritter either.
     Come on, Lampson, lead.  I know it's a 4-letter word, but it's a good one.  I'm not asking you to win a Profiles in Courage award; I'm just asking you to stand for something instead of falling for everything.

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July 8 - Oh hell, I have a better idea.  Let's just do away with the police and let everybody everywhere carry a weapon.

Rep. Joe Driver (R-Garland) sees licensed handgun carriers in college classrooms as a deterrent to school shootings such as the 2007 Virginia Tech massacre, in which 32 people died and many others were wounded. Driver heads the Texas House committee that considers gun bills.

     Okay, so a gun fight breaks out on a college campus and the police arrive.  How are they supposed to know who shooter to shoot?  Are they supposed to look for white cowboy hats or something? 
     Cripes!  Is Texas the birthplace of bad ideas or what?

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July 8 - Well, Campers, here's how it's done.
     Let's say you're Republican Don Young from Alaska and let's say you're in a tight race for re-election.  First you send an email to your favorite lobbyist, let's say ... oh, I dunno, .... Randy DeLay?, and mention that you need ... oh, I dunno, money? ... and lots of it.
     Don Young to Randy DeLay: contribute to my campaign or your clients are up the creek without a paddle or an chance in holy heck of getting their bills through Congress.
     Lobbyist money - it puts the Capital D in democracy.

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July 7 - Texas Republican Senator John Cornyn is so slick he can't keep his socks up. 
     It's handy to have a leadership PAC like Cornyn does so when the CEO of a company that's reached a multi-million settlement with the Justice Department for Medicare fraud wants to give you a hefty contribution, you have a place to hide it. 
     I suspect that Cornyn figured nobody would check his leadership PAC rather than his campaign PAC, but sometimes bad things happen to bad people, and I like to play my part in that.

Douglas Trent Harrison
820 Harrison Rd.
New Braunfels, Texas 78132 Scooter Store, Inc. 06/05/2008 4600.00 CEO
4600.00

     Did I also mention that Cornyn is so crooked that he has to screw on his socks?
     Check the date on that sucker -- this contribution was made less than a year after Harrison bought his way out of a jail cell.

In addition to the $4 million cash payment, the San Antonio wheelchair supplier will give up the right to reimbursement for most of its pending Medicare claims. Such claims total more than $43 million, but Medicare estimates that the payments The SCOOTER Store could actually expect to have received based on those claims is approximately $13 million. Medicare commonly reimburses less than the face value of claims presented to the agency for payment.

The cash component of the settlement package includes a $500,000 contribution by The SCOOTER Store founder Douglas Trent Harrison, who also agreed to forego dividends from his shares in the company for the next year in exchange for a release of his personal liability.

     John Cornyn - bringing you Texas justice the cahooting way!

     And just as a little treat to those keeping a hypocrisy score --
     The NRSC pitched a snot nosed hissy fit when Tom Harkin took money from the same folks.

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July 7 - Okay, so I've been out and about with my camera again and am delighted to bring you more photographic evidence that I live in the best danged place on earth. 
     I dunno know about your town, but in my town, Jesus sells cars. 
     If you're driving down Highway 90A in my town, you see this sign ---

     Apparently, Jesus is coming.   But not before he sells you a car.
     Take a look at the back of that same sign --

     Phew!  I am certainly relieved that Jesus has financing available. 
     Here's the deal - finance your car instead of paying cash for it because if Jesus comes before the next note is due, you're not out the full payment price.  Smart thinkin', huh?
     In case you were wondering, the "L J" in L J Used Cars stands for Lord Jesus.  I know because I asked. 
     And what will you be driving when Jesus comes?  I certainly hope it's a car from Lord Jesus Used Cars because you wanna be on the Lord's good side. 

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July 5 - Our buddy, Fran, sent this amazing video on President Bush touring America to see the damage caused by his administration.
     You will hoot.

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July 5 - Honey, I'm counting the days until I get to watch John Edwards mop the floor with Karl Rove's butt just by using extra IQ points.

GOP strategist Karl Rove and former Democratic vice presidential candidate John Edwards will debate the issues of the presidential campaign Sept. 26 as part of the university’s Distinguished Speakers Series, The Buffalo News has learned.

As surrogates for the parties’ standard bearers, the two also could square off more than once at other locations around the nation.

     My bet is that before the first commercial, Ole Karl will be limping.
     What intellectually impaired Republican strategist came up with the idea to let Bush's Brain on stage in September to remind everyone of the mess Bush Republicans have made? 
     Okay, mark your calendar because I'm telling you right now that I'll be having a party that night and you'll be invited!  You bring the cheese dip, okay?

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July 4 - My friend Granny Geek is a Jedi master of bringing her home base to you through photography around her neighborhood. 
     I decided to try my hand at it ---

     First of all, you'd think with a name like that, they'd have been a little more successful. 
     Second of all, if they were so prophetic, you'd think they would have seen this coming ---

    

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July 3 - One more reason why I'm a non-blog.
     Brian sent this link to Kos about what happens online waaaaay too much ---

Dear Bill: Is there a method to winning a political argument online?  S.L., South Bend

Dear S.L.:  Try this:

You always You never You should You must You shouldn't You mustn't. Why can't you Why don’t you Why aren't you Why didn’t you How could you? You suck You blow You lie You have no idea. You ignoramus You jerk You partisan hack. You're lying You're cheating You're distorting You're asking for it. You're out of your mind You’re out of your league You’re out of your tree You're out of your gourd. You’re off your rocker You're off your meds You're off the reservation. You're wrong You're stupid You're ignorant ---

And on and on it goes.
     Lower that reply by 40 IQ points and you have the sock puppet gang over at Fort Bend Now who ruined a perfectly good and delightful website.

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July 3 - Oh Holy Mother of Jiggle, this is going to drive Super DeLux Brand Christian Commissioner Andy Meyers and the Belles of Heaven Republican Women's Club stark raving wacko. 

An unforeseen and surprising beneficiary of the Economic Stimulus Plan, a plan that George Bush contends will "boost our economy and encourage job creation," has surfaced this week. An independent market-research firm, AIMRCo (Adult Internet Market Research Company), has discovered that many websites focused on adult or erotic material have experienced an upswing in sales in the recent weeks since checks have appeared in millions of Americans' mailboxes across the country.

According to Kirk Mishkin, Head Research Consultant for AIMRCo, "Many of the sites we surveyed have reported 20-30% growth in membership rates since mid-May when the checks were first sent out, and typically the summer is a slow period for this market."

     Hey Andy, now see what Republican economic policy has done? 
     Yeah, I see you trying to stimulate your economy, you nasty little boy.

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July 3 - Reason #317 why Texas Senator John Cornyn is going to get his rump handed to him this November:  even the AMA is hacked-off at him.

Physician groups around the country are angry with Republicans who did not support Medicare legislation, and are gearing up to go after them this election cycle.

And then ---

 “Outrage” is the word used by physician groups in summing up how they feel about Republican senators who voted last week against the bill.

AMA President Nancy Nielsen used that word after the vote, as did the Texas Medical Association’s PAC in a statement about withdrawing its support of Cornyn.

     Big Bad John is keeping Grandma away from her doctor while Tex steals her money (see below).  Republicanism at its best.

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July 3 - Ya know, I love watching Republicans steal from Republicans, but there's gotta be a real special in hell for this guy.

The College Republican National Committee has raised $6.3 million this year through an aggressive and misleading fund-raising campaign that collected money from senior citizens who thought they were giving to the election efforts of President Bush and other top Republicans.

Many of the top donors were in their 80s and 90s. The donors wrote checks — sometimes hundreds and, in at least one case, totaling more than $100,000 — to groups with official sounding-names such as "Republican Headquarters 2004," "Republican Elections Committee" and the "National Republican Campaign Fund."

But all of those groups, according to the small print on the letters, were simply projects of the College Republicans, who collected all of the checks.

And little of the money went to election efforts.

     And the head of this little scam that took money from old people?  Oh Lord, wouldn't you know it - he calls himself "Tex."  Rule of Life, Honey: never eat at a place called "Mama's" and never do business with a guy named "Tex." 
     Click right here to read all about Robert "Tex" Moss.

Originally from Austin, Texas, before joining BMW Direct, Robert - better known to us as "Tex", served as the Grassroots Coordinator for the College Republican National Committee.

     And Grandma ain't eating tonight because chubby little Republican Robert "Tex" Moss done stole her money.  I hope Grandma chases him down and whacks him upside the head with her walker.

     And it seems that BMW might have talked puppets into running for offices they couldn't win and then using those races to enrich themselves.  It's some dirty stuff.

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July 2 - Our friend Paul sent us a story about the #2 guy at the Department of Homeland Security. 
     Deputy Secretary of Homeland Security Paul Schneider took a helicopter tour of northern Montana to check on what we can do about border security.

"By his own admission, (Schneider) said he would not have believed the border's rural nature unless he had seen firsthand," said U.S. Sen. Jon Tester, D-Mont., who accompanied Schneider on the tour. "Because of our rural nature, we have challenges at this border that are different than anywhere else."

     Heckuva job, Schneidy!
     Uh, Dude, I kinda figured that northern Montana was rather "rural" because, dammit, I went to fifth grade!
     Besides, the Texas border with Mexico ain't exactly a thriving metropolis. 
     Oh please, we have to elect someone smart this time.  It's 7 years after 9/11 and these guys are just now figuring out that our northern border might be leaking?  That's scares the poot outta me.

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July 2 - Well, there's good news and creepy news.
     The good news?  Countrywide is shutting down their Political Action Committee. 
     The creepy news?  But not before one final payoff to John Cornyn.

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July 2 - Thank you, Don Wright ---

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July 2 - We get email from foreign states ---

July 1 - Well, see, I thought I was going to have mess of fun this election season with GOP Congresscritter Wannabe Pete Olson. 
     I figured that pointing out that he has the same campaign manager, staff, fundraiser person, and party planner as Tom DeLay would be a blast from the past for me.  I was going to play, "Lookie, Tom DeLay, Jr. is running for Congress!"
     And then there's that whole Village People thing.  You can't help but have fun with Captain Love Boat.
     And then - rats! - Pete Olson went and ruined it all.
     Just totally ruined it.
     He's not going to be Tom DeLay, Jr. 
     He's going to be George Bush and Dick Cheney II.
     No, seriously. 
     Check this out ---

President Bush is coming to River Oaks in 17 days to help raise money for congressional candidate Pete Olson and the Texas GOP's statewide campaign.

As you can see from your very own copy of the invitation, the private fund-raising reception is slated for the new, 12,600-square-foot Houston home of Dan and Kim Tutcher. Dan Tutcher was top exec at Enbridge Energy Partners, which moves natural gas and other fuels around the continent through its pipelines. This year he was a big financial supporter of former Sen. Fred Thompson's short-lived presidential campaign.

     I live in the only damn place on God's green earth where George Bush, Dick Cheney, and energy moguls are considered helpful to a political campaign.  Oh Lord, this is sad.  I deserve to live in a classier joint.  I do. 

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July 1 - Okay, so you'd think after the mess Bush and Cheney got us into, it'd be a cold day in Del Rio before any Presidential candidate would trust the economy to a Texas Republican.
     That's what you'd think.
     And you'd be thinking wrong.
     Two words:  Phil Grammsucks.
      I dunno.  I ain't the brightest light on the marquee but I don't think it would be good for McCain's campaign if his chief economic advisor, former Senator Phil Gramm, is indicted for assisting wealthy Americans to illegally evade paying hundreds of millions of dollars in taxes on assets hidden in Swiss bank accounts.  That could just be me, though.  I ain't dandy proud of Phil Gramm as it is, much less Phil Gramm with my money.

Under pressure from the authorities, UBS is considering whether to divulge the names of up to 20,000 of its well-heeled American clients, according to people close to the inquiry, a step that would have once been unthinkable to Swiss bankers, whose traditions of secrecy date to the Middle Ages.

Federal investigators believe some of the clients may have used offshore accounts at UBS to hide as much as $20bn in assets from the Internal Revenue Service (IRS). Doing so may have enabled these people to dodge at least $300m in federal taxes on income from those assets, according to a government official connected with the investigation.

     And what would all this tax evading have to do with Phil Gramm?

The IRS is trying to serve a summons on Swiss bank UBS AG seeking information on U.S. taxpayers who may have used the bank to gin up records to avoid billions in taxes on offshore investments.

Top McCain economic advisor Phil Gramm is vice chairman of UBS' U.S. division which already has drawn unflattering scrutiny for writing off big losses in subprime mortgage-backed securities.

Gramm, the former Texas senator and presidential candidate, was registered to lobby Congress last year on mortgage securities issues on behalf of UBS.

     Look, a small word of advice to people out there:  Avoid Texas Republicans.  They are a flesh eating virus, and they will steal the gold out of your Grandmother's teeth.  While she's chewing.  And talk about it at the country club.  Haven't you people learned anything from Bush?

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July 1 - So it just gets funner and funner with David Beckwith.  Our buddy Don A. is playing it for all it's worth  ----

Dear Susan,
   I was so impressed by Buck Smith, that I just HAD to see what he wrote in the counter-insurgency blog.  "Come to find out" (as they say here in Pennsyltucky) it had a link to his own blog.

Of course, it doesn't have much in it.

http://nds-blog.blogspot.com/

Don

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July 1 - Sometimes along comes a story that's so heartwarming, so wonderful, and so charming that you just have to share it with your friends.
     This is such a story.
     Republicans are now stealing from Republicans.
     Yes, it's true.  They've stolen all they can from the rest of us with their higher taxes, a failing infrastructure, corporate meltdowns, golden parachutes, and God only knows how much Halliburton has ripped us off, so now they have to turn to a fresh source of money supply - each other. 
     It's charming and delightful cannibalism. 
     This three page story is worth the read in shear giggle-factor alone.  It tells the tale of a GOPper who ran against Barney Frank as a write-in ---

Yet the political fund-raising firm that ran Morse's campaign finances reported that it raised more than $700,000 for his race, much of it from GOP contributors across the country eager to help defeat a Massachusetts liberal - and some of it donated well after Morse abandoned the race.

A review of campaign reports shows that, rather than spending that money in the Fourth Congressional District, 96 percent of the funds raised in Morse's name were used to pay a politically connected direct-mail firm in Washington, BMW Direct Inc., and a coterie of BMW Direct's affiliates and contractors. The firms specialize in national fund-raising appeals on behalf of conservative Republican candidates and right-wing causes.

     I'm going to go read it again. I like this part ---    

BMW Direct is not the only direct-mail firm raising money for little-known Massachusetts Republicans. This year, Jeff Beatty, the Republican running against Kerry, has boasted that he raised $976,000 in a nationwide mail campaign in a few short months late last year and earlier this year. But again, 90 percent of his funds were eaten by the fund-raising expenses. That fund-raising effort was run by another Washington direct-mail firm, Response America. Beatty's aides said he expects the mailing operation will allow him to create a donor base that he can use as the race progresses.

     Y'all keep this up, ya hear?

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July 1 - And Alfredo give us a heads-up.  The Republican Party has a new motto:  Republicans Suck!
     Here's a fun little story from Springfield, Missouri, where Republican candidates are running on the platform that Republicans don't have any ethics. 
     No, I am not joking.  I am totally serious.
     Read it yourself.

In essence, the Republican gubernatorial candidates are appealing to Republican voters by implying that Republican officeholders have done a poor job of instilling ethics in government.

     In the understatement of the year, a political science professor in Missouri says ---

"These are tough times, I think, for Republicans, and they've got and try to differentiate themselves from the Republican brand and from the governor," Kimball said. "And ethics is one of the easier issues where they can do that while still being conservative."

     It appears to be contagious.  A website calling itself Texas News Post interviews West Texas Republican Congressman Mike Conaway.  Conaway admits that Republicans have a problem: "What we said didn't match up with what we did." Ya think?
     But, Conaway thinks that Republicans "have a shot" at winning back the House.  Yeah, but only if that shot comes from Dick Cheney's hunting rifle. 
     I don't think Conaway would be willing to put money on that, though. 
     By the way, Conaway is ---

Longtime friend and business partner of George W. Bush, Mike Conaway was CFO of the Midland, Texas bank which lent Bush $500,000 so he could participate in an extremely lucrative deal to purchase the Texas Rangers.

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July 1 - Oh, this story ain't going away.  No, sireee.
     This story doesn't have legs, it has wheels. 
     You recall the silly Senator John Cornyn video that everybody in the nation - including the Today show - has had fun with.
     Well, instead of getting his client off the news with this silliness, Cornyn's Campaign Manager, David Beckwith, has put his own ego - and bigger than Big Bend National Park it is! - ahead of his boss.
     When people speculated that Beckwith would be fired for the silly ad, one courageous guy came to Beckwith's defense - Beckwith. 
     Beckwith went on a very popular blog, Burnt Orange Report, and named himself Buck Smith.  Okay, so sock puppeting isn't all that uncommon.  It's a ruined many a good website. 
     What is uncommon, though, is that Beckwith suggests that Beckwith should get a raise for the brilliant Cornyn ad.

"Buck Smith" wrote, "I personally believe Beckwith deserves a raise and/or a promotion for whatever role he had in that video ..."

     Beckwith has managed a seemingly impossible feat - he now looks goofier than Cornyn.